TOA The lesbian Wedding
Yeah, so I don't know how long it'll be before this chapter's up, but I am now banned from the freakin' computers w/ internet for a week cuz, well, long story short, there was yelling and fighting and my parents favor my brother. But they can't watch me 24/7… Ok, I recommend reading the last chapter before this one first, cuz u'll probably get a little lost, if u don't. Please read and review and cheer me up. Thanks!
Disclaimer: I still don't own these characters, but if you wanna get them for me, be my guest.
The next morning, the gang, aside from Monica and Phoebe were sitting in Central Perk. After a little while, Monica and Phoebe hustled into the coffee shop.
"Rachel," Monica said angrily, "Can we speak to you for a moment?"
"Need to practice kissing, huh?" Joey raised his eyebrows.
"Eww!" All three women yelled at the same time.
The women went to the back of the coffee house.
"What?" Rachel asked, irritated.
"Well, I believe you told Ross about our contest!" Monica accused.
"What? No I didn't."
Monica turned to Phoebe and smiled. "Phoebe…"
Phoebe took out a small tape player and pressed play.
"Well, I told Monica that you were more romantic than Chandler, and she didn't believe me, so we've been having a contest."
"You've…you've…you've been having a contest?!"
Rachel gasped. "What…how did you…"
Monica smiled triumphantly. "Phoebe kept a tape recorder in Ross' apartment.
"What?! You invaded my privacy!"
"You said I could."
"When?"
"When I asked you in my head." Phoebe paused. "Oh, right."
"Phoebe!"
"Well, I'm sorry."
Rachel looked away sheepishly. "Did you…umm…tape us the entire time we were in there?"
"Yup. Wanna hear it?"
Rachel chucked uncomfortably. "No!"
"Okay."
"Well maybe just a little." She took the tape recorder and hastily left the coffee shop.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
While the girls were in the back, the guys stayed in their spot and began to discuss their plan.
"So, we just have to be really un-romantic," Ross informed Chandler.
"Ok, so how do we do that?"
"Just do what you'd do if you were me," Joey explained.
"So sit around, eat sandwiches, watch TV, and talk dirty?"
"Look at porn, too."
"We don't want them to break up with us!" Ross told Joey.
"Fine, fine. No porn."
"Okay, I think I can handle that," Chandler decided.
"Me too. But Chandler," Ross warned, "Don't tell Monica until she tells you about her contest."
"I know! What makes you think that I would tell her before then?"
"Come on, Chandler…it's Monica. We know how she can be."
"Yeah, she'll wanna win at all costs."
"I won't give in! But Ross, same goes for you and Rachel."
Ross chuckled.
"What? She has you wrapped around her pinky finger."
"It's true, Ross."
"W…wha…no she doesn't."
Chandler and Joey gave him skeptical looks.
"You guys don't know what you're talking about."
"Right…"
At that point, Phoebe and Monica returned to their spots.
"So, what were you girls talking about?" Chandler wondered.
"Nothing!" Phoebe and Monica answered simultaneously.
"Sure sounds like nothing," Ross teased.
"Yeah baby!"
The rest of them gave Joey a look.
"Or not…"
"Well, I'm gonna go upstairs," Monica commented. Before leaving, she elbowed Chandler hard in the arm.
"Oww!" he yelled, "What was that for?!"
Monica smiled innocently. "Just felt like it."
Chandler looked at her, puzzled, while she left the shop. When she was outside she said under her breath, "That's for almost letting me lose, Bing!"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Monica barged into her apartment, angrily. Rachel was sitting at the kitchen table, listening to Phoebe's tape recorder. When she saw Monica, she quickly pressed stop and hid the tape recorder in her lap.
"I know what you're doing. You don't have to hide it."
Rachel smiled. "Wanna hear?"
"Eww, and ewwwww! That's my brother!"
Rachel laughed and Monica threw her an irritated look.
"So, the contest still on?"
"Well, Ross knows about it now! So, no way! He'll do anything for you. I mean if you asked him to help you cheat to win, he would."
"Yeah I know." Rachel paused. "Well, I'll just tell him the contest's off and you won."
"Fine, I guess that'll work. Ross is pretty gullible."
"So, the contest is still on. May the best woman win."
Monica smiled deviously. "I will!"
Later that day, Ross entered Chandler and Joey's apartment, but only Chandler was there.
"So," he began, "Rachel tells me the contest is over and Monica won."
"Really? Do you think it's really over?" Chandler wondered.
"No. Rachel's still acting the same way towards me as she did before. Plus, she'd be a lot angrier if Monica had actually won."
"Ok, so we're still on."
"Yup."
"Okay, now it's time for me to put the plan into action."
"Good. I've already started with Rachel."
"Yeah? How'd she take it?"
"She was pretty mad."
"Monica's gonna kill me, isn't she?"
"Yeah, good luck with her, man."
Chandler gulped and went across the hall.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Hey Chan…" Monica greeted, but stopped when she saw him. "Why are you wearing sweats?! I thought we were going out tonight!"
"Oh, we are."
"So, what's with the clothes?"
"What's wrong with them?"
"Well, you look you're leaving the house after spending a day in front of the television, watching cartoons."
"And I didn't?"
"Well, you're not supposed to look like you did!"
"It's not like we're doing anything fancy. We're just going to see a movie and then get pizza."
"Pizza?! Who said we're getting pizza."
"Well, I'm paying, and I was in the mood for pizza. But if you don't want it…"
"Fine," Monica relented, "But change!"
"Okay."
Once Chandler changed into jeans and a knit shirt, he and Monica went to the pizza shop.
"Oh, well this is a great place for us to go out on a date, isn't it? I mean it's nice and cozy."
"Oh yeah, it's really nice…for a high school date!"
"Hey, I said we could do something else, but you agreed to do pizza."
Monica groaned in response.
"Ya know, Mon," Chandler whispered in her ear, "I could get you to groan a lot more later on…"
Monica looked at Chandler angrily. "Oh yeah, real sexy!"
Chandler smiled. "Thanks."
"At this rate, there's not gonna be a later on! What's up with you?"
"Nothing's up with me! What's up with you?"
"Nothing's up with me!"
"Well, then, it looks like we have no problem."
"Guess not."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Meanwhile, Ross and Rachel were also out on a date. They were sitting in a small Italian restaurant. Ross was in the middle of telling Rachel a story, while she was completely bored.
"…And the fossils are then cleaned carefully by the archeologist and then brought to the…"
"Okay, Ross! I know that you love dead dinosaurs and whatever, but some of us aren't interested."
Ross chuckled. "Oh, I'm sorry." However, he continued his story. "And then when they're taken to the…"
Rachel sighed and turned to the isle. "Waiter, check please! Please!"
"What? You don't like my story?"
Rachel stared at Ross for a moment. "Honestly? No, I hate your story. I could care less about the process fossils are put through."
"Well, I'm sorry…"
"Let's talk about something else…like this beautiful night…a romantic song…a dance…"
"Rach…"
"Okay, yes! We're still competing, okay! But I need to win!"
"Why?"
"Because, it's Monica! And Monica always wins!"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Chandler!" Monica scolded as they walked through the streets, "I can't believe you got us kicked out of the damn movie theater!"
"Well, I'm sorry. It was a boring movie. I couldn't keep my eyes open."
"Since when do you snore loud enough to wake the dead?!"
"My nose is stuffed up."
"I'll give you more than a stuffy nose," she muttered.
"Excuse me?"
"What are you doing?!" she asked angrily.
"What?"
"Why can't you be more romantic!?"
"I think I'm plenty romantic."
"Well, not enough for me to win!" Monica gasped and covered her mouth.
Chandler smiled triumphantly. "Win what?"
"N…nothing!"
Chandler looked at Monica skeptically.
"We have this contest…"
"To see whose boyfriend is more romantic, yeah I know."
"What?! You know?!"
"Why do you think I've been acting so different?"
"What?"
"Ross and I are playing a trick on you girls."
"What?"
"We're both trying to be unromantic, so that you both lose." Chandler smiled proudly at himself. "Looks like it worked."
"Urgh, Chandler!" She paused pensively, "Ok, You never told me that you know, and I never told you about our contest!"
"What?!"
"That's the spirit! Ok kiss me, tell me you love me, make slow, sweet love to me."
Chandler groaned. "Come on, Mon. I thought if I told you, you'd quit this stupid game!"
"But I have to win!"
"Why?"
"'Cause I'm Monica. And I always win!"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The next morning, Ross and Chandler barged into Monica and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe and Joey followed closely after.
"Monica, Rachel!" Ross called, "Come out here now!"
"What?" Monica asked, groggily.
"Who dares to wake me up?!" Rachel hissed.
"Here's what's gonna happen," Chandler explained, "Monica, you are going to apologize to Rachel and Rachel you will apologize to Mon, and you will both call it a tie and leave it be!"
Monica opened her mouth to protest, but Chandler cut her off. "Come on Mon. I thought what we have is special. I thought we loved each other, Mon. That's all that should matter." He sat down next to Monica on the sofa and stroked her cheek. "It shouldn't matter what Rachel or Phoebe think about us. All that matters is what we think about our relationship. Now, do you think I'm not romantic enough?"
Monica looked away. "No, I think you're very romantic, but…"
Chandler cut her off again. "But nothing. That's all that matters."
Monica smiled slightly. "You're right Chandler. I was just, upset, ya know, that someone would think that you weren't romantic."
When she said that, the gang turned to Rachel.
"What?"
Monica rolled her eyes and continued, "But you're completely right. We love each other, and that's all that counts."
"There ya go!" Ross commented.
Chandler leaned in and kissed Monica passionately.
"Yeah baby!"
"Aww…" Phoebe cooed, "I didn't know Chandler could be so sweet. Mon, you'd better watch out."
Rachel looked away, angrily. "Ross! Why don't you ever say that kind of stuff to me?"
"W…w..wh?"
"Urgh!" Rachel stormed off into her room.
Monica smiled triumphantly. "Oh how the tables have turned."
"Okay, that's enough glory for you."
"Just one more thing?"
"Fine."
Monica got up and knocked on Rachel door. When Rachel opened it, Monica teased, "Ha ha! I win, I win, I win! Who has the best boyfriend now?!"
"Urgh!" Rachel slammed the door shut again.
"That was so dignified," Chandler quipped.
"I know!"
Hey, okay, I know that this idea has kinda been done 5th season, but I wanted it to be like everyone competing. Well, it was pretty much everyone. Like in tow the embryos. They need to do more of that on Friends! Anyway, please read and review, thanks!:-)
