TOA The Lesbian Wedding-Chapter 15

Okay, I'm back for my weekly update. (ok, I know it's more than a week, but that's kinda ff.net's fault. Well, I also stopped writing this once I saw I couldn't post it yesterday…hehehe shutting up.) Anyways, since this is the 15th chapter and I'm also nearing the end of the real season 2, I'm not sure exactly where I should go with this fic. That's where you, as the reader and hopefully reviewer, come in. Here's a poll for you; should I:  a) Stop writing this once I "get up to" the episode which would be the season 2 finale (tow barry and mindy's weding, although I dunno if I would actually use that episode), b) Go on to "season 3" and then see where I go from there, or c) Any other bright ideas that u peeps may have? I could really use the help cuz I have absolutely no idea where I'm gonna go w/ this one, since this is the only fic where I just kinda "flow with it". Ok, so please read and review, thanks!

Disclaimer: Hmm…they're not mine, unless they're hiding in my closet. *Opens closet* Nopers, not in there. Guess they don't belong to me. :_(

Joey and Phoebe entered Monica and Rachel's apartment, while engrossed in a conversation.

"No, no, no," Joey argued, "Yosemite Sam is the one with the red hair and Elmer Fudd is the bald one."

"Are you sure? Because…"

Joey cut her off sternly. "Believe me, I'm right."

Phoebe backed up and put her hands up in mock defense. After a moment, they both stopped and listened for a minute. An influx of low moans began coming from Monica's bedroom.

"They're at it again?!" Phoebe wondered incredulously.

"Wanna go downstairs and get some coffee?"

"Please."

The pair rushed out of the apartment quickly.

          An hour later, Monica entered Central Perk and made her way towards the orange couch where the rest of the gang, minus Chandler was gathered.

"Hey guys," Monica greeted as she sat down, "What's up?"

"Nothing," Joey answered, "Hey, where's Chandler? He's supposed to be here by now!"

Monica shrugged. "Showing, I think."

"Shouldn't you be showering, too?" Phoebe asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Yeah, I guess it doesn't make much sense to shower. You'll just go and have sex again and get all sweaty."

Monica laughed uneasily and looked at Phoebe. "Excuse me?"

"What?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Well…I mean you guys are always doing it."

"No we're not," She looked around at the others expectantly, "Right guys?"

Joey scratched his head awkwardly and Rachel began to flip through a magazine in response.

"Hey," Ross called out, "Is that Woody Harrelson?"

They all turned away from Monica to look.

"You guys really think that we do it a lot?"

Slowly, the rest of them turned to face Monica again. "Umm…how do you define a lot?"

"More than normal couples."

"Not more than me," Joey answered happily.

"Couples, Joey," Rachel explained, "Not twenty different women a week." '

"Oh, well in that case, yeah, you guys do it a lot."

"No, we don't!"

"Oh yeah? Let's count, shall we?"

"Oh my God!" Monica cried.

"Let's see. Every night, at least twice.

"Nah-uh."

"Yeah," Ross agreed uneasily, "I can vouch for that."

Rachel added, "Once in the morning."

"Lunch breaks!" Joey chimed in.

"Oh my God! We do do it too much!"

"No, no," Rachel soothed, "It's healthy."

"You and Ross don't do it that much."

"Yeah, but I mean—" Rachel trailed off and whispered, "It's Ross."

The rest began to chuckle, and Ross looked over obliviously. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing, sweetie," Rachel answered, "Don't worry about it."

Ross shrugged and went back to reading the newspaper.

"Oh my God. What if our relationship has become nothing but sex? I mean what if that's the glue that holds our relationship together?! I mean that's not a healthy relationship!"

"I'm sure that's not the—"

Monica cut Phoebe off. "But it could be!"

"Oh come on, you guys have so much."

"Do we? Do we really?! What if it's all about the sex?"

"Wouldn't you know if it were only about sex?"

"I dunno!" Monica panicked, "I'm too busy doing it to think!"

"Yeah baby!" Joey chimed in. He stopped smiling when the girls gave him a harsh look.

"I know what I'm gonna have to do," Monica decided suddenly.

"What's that?"

"A no sex pact."

"With who?" Joey wondered.

The rest gave him a look.

"What?! Maybe she meant a no sex pact with…women…or…or donkeys."

"Eww!" The others answered in disgust.

 "Between Chandler and me," Monica clarified, "That way, we'll be able to see if there really is more to our relationship then just sex."

"Wow, Mon, are you sure about that?" Rachel questioned, "That's a hard thing to do."

"I know, but it's important to our relationship." 

"Okay," Phoebe agreed. Then under her breath, she added, "I give it two hours."

*~*~*~*~*~*

          That night, Monica and Chandler were out at a fancy Italian restaurant, waiting for their check. Monica began to fidget in her chair.

Chandler reached his hand out to touch hers, but she shrugged away from his caress.

"Mon, are you okay?" Chandler asked, genuinely concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine! Just peachy!" Monica answered hastily, "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You've just been really quiet throughout dinner. I've been doing all the talking, and I know it's not because you enjoy my stories that much."

"Ok Chandler, umm…see here's the thing…I think that our relationship has umm…"

"Yeah?"

"Well--" Monica hesitated.

"Are you breaking up with me?!" Chandler panicked, "Damn, I knew this was too good to be tr—"

Monica cut him off by placing her hand on his knee. "No, that's not it. It's just…well…our relationship is very…physical."

Chandler merely looked at her, completely baffled.

"What I mean is…I think that we should stop the physical part for a while and just work on the emotional part."

 Chandler looked at her skeptically. "You mean we should stop having sex?"

Monica bit her nail uneasily. "In more words, yes."

"Wh—why?!"

"Chandler, do you know what our friends think of us as?"

"What?"

"They think that we're sexed-crazed maniacs!"

"They said that?"

Monica looked away sheepishly. "Well…they implied it."

"Mon—"

She cut him off. "If you really love me, then you'll do this."

He looked into Monica's pleading eyes and sighed. "Anything for you, babe."

Monica jumped up and hugged Chandler. "I knew I'd win you."

Chandler broke the hug and studied her face. "So can we—"

"No."

"How 'bout—"

"No."

"What about—"

Monica smiled. "Yes, kissing's okay."

"Okay," Chandler smiled and kissed her on the lips.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

          Ross walked into a small, cramped pizza shop and found Joey and Chandler, who were sitting at a small table in the corner.

"Hey guys," Ross sat down, "It's so weird to eat lunch with you, Chandler."

"Yeah, we haven't done this since you and Monica started dating."

Chandler shrugged in response.

"So, you're really not gonna have sex for an entire week?" Joey wondered in disbelief.

"Well, that's what she wants," Chandler answered in between bites of pizza, "And I'm not gonna ruin our relationship over sex."

"Why not?! I would!"

"Ok, number one, Joe, you haven't been in a relationship, anyway. Two, I love her. That's something that you obviously don't understand."

"You've got that right," Ross mumbled.

"Would you do it Ross?" Joey wondered.

"No sex?"

"Yeah, if Rach asked you, would you do it?"

Ross shrugged. "I guess I would. I'm with Chandler on this one."

"Wow, I hope I never have a girlfriend who asks me to do that," Joey decided.

"Yeah, Joey would probably die due to abstinence," Ross joked.

"Woah, woah, you can get a disease from not having sex?"

Ross and Chandler exchanged looks.

"Sure ya can," Chandler finally answered.

"Woah," Joey picked up his coat quickly, "I'd better go have some sex then!" With that, he ran out the door.

Chandler shrugged and grabbed the rest of Joey's pizza. However, Joey ran back inside of the pizza shop and grabbed the pizza out of Chandler's hand.

"Dude, I don't think so!" He then ran back out of the restaurant.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

          "So Chandler agreed?" Phoebe questioned and she, Monica, and Rachel sat in Central Perk that afternoon.

"Yeah."

"Did it take begging?"

"No, he was very good about it."

"Maybe he was hoping to get lucky," Rachel joked, but then sobered when Monica gave her a look.

"It's not funny, you guys. I'm taking this very seriously!"

"I'm surprised that you got Chandler to go through with it," Phoebe told her, "He must really love you. That should show you something…"

"I know, but I just need to see how things go."

"I don't see what the big deal is," Rachel admitted, "You guys are in love and that's all that should matter."

"It is, but…urgh! I don't have to explain myself to you!" Monica turned away from them in a huff.

"Oh, getting a little frustrated, are we?" Phoebe teased.

"Yeah," Rachel joined, "Need someone to let out your frustrations on?"

"Stop it!"

Phoebe lowered her voice. "You know you want him."

"I hate you both!" Monica yelled and left the coffee house.

Once she left, Phoebe and Rachel glanced at each other.

"We weren't too mean to her, were we?"

Phoebe shrugged.

"Do you think we tease each other too much sometimes?"

"Ehh."

"Huh." Rachel shrugged and went picked up a magazine.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

          "Hey Pheebs, hey Chandler" Joey greeted as he entered their apartment that night, "Since when are you here at night?"

Chandler groaned in response.

"That bad, huh?"

"Worse."

"Well if it makes you feel any better, Monica's as frustrated with this as you are."

Chandler gave Phoebe an angry look, and she backed away. "If she's so frustrated by her rule, why can't she break it?!"

"Because it's Monica," Phoebe reminded him, "She has to stick things through until the bitter end."

"Don't remind me."

"You gonna be okay?"

Chandler knocked his fist down on the counter. "This is so hard!"

"Well, ya know, you've gone longer without having sex, what makes this different?"

"Because…I know that I have a girlfriend, who by all standards, I should be sleeping with!"

"That was so shallow…just like something a man would say!" Phoebe yelled.

"No, it's just," he ran his fingers through his hair, "It's not like she has a good reason for it. I mean if she had been like—wanting to wait for marriage or something, then that would be different. But I mean I know who Monica's slept with, and they're sleazy guys."

"She slept with you," Phoebe pointed out.

Chandler looked away, embarrassed. "Well, except for me."

"Nice save."

"Hey, I gotta go on a date, but if you need a sock—don't take any of mine."

Phoebe and Chandler both made disgusted faces as Joey left the apartment, laughing to himself.

Phoebe studied him for a minute. "Do you really do that?"

Chandler bit his lip. "No—not anymore."

"Wow, I did not need to know that. Way too much information." She paused and got up, "I think I'm gonna go."

"Ye--yeah, good idea! Buh bye now!"

Phoebe looked back at Chandler one last time, shuddered, and walked out the door.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

          "So, it's a nice day out," Chandler commented as he and Monica walked down the street the next afternoon.

"Yup," answered Monica dryly.

"The sun's shinning, the birds are chirping, the children are pl—"

"Will you please shut up?"

"Sorry."

"Maybe I'm overreacting…"

"Yes!" Chandler answered quickly, but off her look replied, "No, not at all."

"Just…I'm worried that our relationship is just about, ya know, sex. I mean I had so many relationships like that, and I thought that this one was different, but then I began to wonder if maybe I was wrong and that we really weren't any different and…"

Chandler cut her off. "Woah, breathe."

"Do you think that's true?"

"I don't know because I didn't catch a single word you said."

Monica rolled her eyes. "Is our relationship based on sex?"

"Absolutely not, Mon." He smiled and placed his arms on her shoulders, "I mean we started out as friends, and our relationship is just friendship, but with love and sex involved."

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

"Well, it does happen once in a while."

"A very long while." She smiled and smacked him lightly on the shoulder.

"That comment may have cost you another week."

"Yeah right!"

"Yeah, you're right. I couldn't do that if I tried."

"Ya know, that idea of mine was so stupid."

"No comment." He paused, "So, your place or mine?"

"Come on Chandler. The minute we break the pact, you want us to—your place."

*~*~*~*~*~*

          Later that day, Chandler wrapped his arm around Monica as they walked up to their friends in Central Perk.

"So, you two look happier," Rachel commented.

"Yeah," Monica smiled, "We decided that the no sex pact was crazy."

"So, you guys slept together again?" Joey asked.

Chandler gave Joey an angry look. "That's personal."

"Meaning yes," Phoebe clarified.

"Yeah baby!"

"Well, I'm glad that you two sorted everything out," Rachel told them.

"Thanks Rach."

When the couple left to order coffee at the counter, Joey and Phoebe grinned triumphantly.

"I want my money!" Joey demanded.

"Come on, twenty dollars!" Phoebe said as she held out her hand.

"It was just a stupid bet," Ross decided.

"Well, if it's so stupid, then I bet the rest of you would like to know the story of Ross and his snow cone…"

"So, here's your twenty dollars! Enjoy!"

Monica came back with an angry look on her face. "You guys made a bet on us?!"

"How'd you hear that?!" Phoebe wondered.

"I was at the counter, not in Australia!"

Chandler came over and stood behind Monica. "What's going on?"

"Did you know that made a bet on us?!"

"Really?!"

"Hey Chandler, you owe me twenty bucks," Joey reminded him.

Chandler opened his eyes wide and began waving his hands in the air, until Monica turned around.

"What?!"

"Umm…I love you?" Chandler smiled weakly.

"You bet on us?"

"Not so much bet on us as on you…"

"Well, the no sex pact is officially back on. How do you like that for gambling?" Chandler just stood there, completely in shock. Monica grabbed one of the two coffee mugs that Chandler was holding, gave him a quick peck on the cheek, and sat down on one of the chairs.

Joey smiled sheepishly. "So, I'll be leaving now…"

Omg this chair is so not comfy! My ass is getting numb. Oh and if I have more mistakes than usual, it's cuz I proofread this while talking online. *waves to Steph and Jenni* Please review and tell me what u think I should do! Thanks!:-)