Author's notes and warnings:  Hi everybody!  Sorry this chapter took so long but I hope you like it enough to forgive me, ne?  I love happy endings so I can't possible leave some of these characters hanging…hence…this chapter.

I know that K is supposed to be married but there's no indication at all in the anime so it's going to be just a rumor for this story.  I hope you guys are okay with what I have in mind for him…I do like to pair strange people together, ne?

Sorry, no lemon but I'm working on a Tohma/Ryuuichi lemon for the next chapter, okay? 

ARIGATOU, hitari-chan!  Your beta work is awesome as usual!!!

Hugs and Pocky to all my reviewers!!!

Sakata: Arigatou! Sorry I took so long but I'm hurrying, I'm hurrying!  I do have a few more ideas I want to write…I wish I had more hands and more computers…

Eeyaatoe: I'm having a wonderful new year, thank you!  I'm so glad you like the last chapter, I hope I don't disappoint in this one.  Thank you for you review!

Tricia: Oooh, I'm blushing!  Thank you for your kind comments!  The temperatures rises a few degrees where I'm writing too.  LOL.

Midori Himura: Zanshi?  What Zanshi?  *grins*  Do you like him?  Thanks for reviewing, Midori, it means a lot to me!  I've been meaning to get to your Kenshin fics but haven't had the chance.  I did read a couple of your Weiss stories…very nice…

Xellas M.: LOL. *tosses a lifesaver into the puddle of drool*  daijoubu? Thanks for always being so supportive!  Hugs and blessings!!!

Zen: Arigatou, no da… I hope you like this one just as passionately!

Hitari-chan: I love your drawings!  You are soooo very, very good!  Thanks for everything, sweetie!  Hugs!!

Shadow Priestess: LOL, I'm writing as fast as my poor little brain can handle…but I'll try harder, I promise!  Thanks for your review and I'm really glad you like Zanshi. 

Bitter Silence: I hope you don't still have problems logging in?  I wouldn't want you to miss this chapter!  Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Lady Pyrrha: Thank you for your review!  I know Tasuki is happy too that Chichiri's finally coming around, ne?

A smiling fool: *giggles* Magical chicken?  Don't let Suzaku hear you say that! But could you just imagine Yuki looking around for one? Thank you for reviewing!

Tiger Blak: Aiya! Can't write if I'm beaten to the ground, no daaaaa…but I did manage to get another chapter out.  Sorry, the lemonade is for the next chapter.  Thank you!

Chasuka: ~.~  Arigatou, na no da!!!!  I'm really glad you like the story!  I have to admit I was worried in the beginning, there are so many more characters to write with but everyone has been so kind.  Their continual support feeds my muse, no da!  Thanks again!

Donhisiewen:  It's coming, it's coming!  Thanks for your comments!

Kawaii: Wai!  Was that a pun, Kawaii-chan?  *giggles*  You're more right than you think but that's for another chapter, ne?  Thanks for your continual support!!!  Hugs! 

The usual disclaimer goes here.  ^^;

Enjoy!

Songs Of The Heart – Chapter 9: The Loose Ends

By Moonraven

"WHAT!?!"

A well-manicured hand slammed down violently on Tohma's desk, missing his own hand by less than an inch. Involuntarily, the blond flinched back and pulled his endangered digits off the mahogany top and onto his lap.

"You can't be serious!" Mika leaned over the desk and glared at her husband. "You want a divorce so you can screw Ryuuichi? Can't you just do it without a divorce? And it's…been years! I thought you had that…that itch under control!" Mika threw up her hands in exasperation and whirled around to face K who had been surreptitiously admiring the woman's well-shaped rump as she bend over the desk. Not much left to the imagination when the object of his scrutiny wore her red leather skirt so tight…

"You!" She advanced on K, pointing her index finger menacingly at him. "It's YOUR doing!"

K stepped back, trying to get away from the furious flash in her eyes, and found he couldn't. He was already leaning against the wall to begin with. He pulled himself up to his full height and gave her his best 'who, me?' look.

"Yes, you!" Mika stopped in front of him and jabbed his chest with her finger. "That's why you brought him back, wasn't it?"

"Tohma wanted him back, not me!" K protested. "HE called, wanting Nittle Grasper to be reunited. Honest!" He held up his hand defensively. "Tell her, Tohma." He looked past her to the frowning blond sitting behind the desk.

Mika whirled back to her husband, her long hair whipping K's face and he inhaled the unexpected soft scent of her perfume. He rather liked it. It was very different from the strong and mostly violent nature of the woman who took their quiet morning and turned it into a mini war.

"I WILL not be made a fool of!" She put her hands on her hips. "What would people say when they find out you left me for a MAN?" She was sounding less angry and more helpless. "Dad would have a fit especially with Eiri being with that kid and now I can't keep my husband. But to lose him to another man! How do you expect me to condone this?" She glared her question at her quiet husband.

"I have an idea." K leaned forward and said softly into her ear. She was still so close that he could feel the angry heat radiating from her. "Oof!"

Mika elbowed him in the ribs. K rubbed his bruised side with a small smile. Damn it if he didn't like rough women. If only she'd pull a gun on him…

"Like I'd listen to YOU!" She barked at him and walked back to sit crossed leg on Tohma's desk.

K swallowed hard as he watched the curves of her strong legs beckon him closer. Damn it if he didn't LOVE rough women in mini skirts.

"I think K's idea has merit." Tohma spoke for the first time in a long time. He got up and came to stand next to his sulking wife. "Ma, Mika-san, you know I love you and would always take care of you. It's just…"

"…that you don't love me like you love Ryuuichi. I know, I know!" She waved her hand dismissively. "And what of Eiri? Are you sure you're over him?" She peered at the blond shrewdly. "You know what they say about things you can't have…it makes you want it even more. And you've never had Eiri."

"And I never will. I'm alright with that. I love Ryuuichi and I only want him. It's about time I make him happy." He took her hands in his and kissed her knuckles gently. "Be happy for me, Mika."

Mika sighed in resignation. "I am. But I don't want to be replaced by an imbalanced juvenile even if he's the hottest rock legend of our time!" She pulled her hands away and pouted.

"Then I suggest you dump him first." K's quiet voice chimed in as he walked towards them.

"Hmph! Who's going to believe me? Why on earth would I leave HIM?" She swept her hand dramatically in Tohma's direction. "Do you know how many women AND men out there are dying to get their claws on him? He's got the looks, the talent, AND the money! Whom would I ever leave him for?" Mika challenged K from her position on the desk.

K stopped right in front of her and smiled into her sparkling eyes. "Someone younger and better looking." K said. "That Hotohori is quite a catc---Ack!"

Mika grabbed his collar and shook him violently. "He's a kid!" She screeched.

"Maa, maa, Mika-san." Tohma disengaged K from his wife and pushed the tall blond a couple of paces back, out of reach. "How about K-san?"

"WHAT!?!" This time the windows shook as her voice reverberated around the room. "Are you CRAZY? Do I need to make a list of why this is a BAD idea?" Mika hopped of the desk, placed one hand on her hips as she ticked off K's shortcomings with the other hand. "He's a fucking nutcase with trigger-happy fingers. NO ONE I know can get a license to own firearms but he's got a goddamn armory at his house! He's a fucking foreigner who can't even speak English well. I've heard rumors that he has a wife and kid in the States and on top of that, he's…he's…" She looked K up and down in hope that some adjectives would help her out. "…got a really bad fashion sense!" She turned her flashing eyes to K and scowled. "Aren't you going to say anything?"

Stunned as K was at Tohma's suggestion, he couldn't get his protest in edgewise. Mika, it seemed, had it all covered. Not that he would protest very strongly…

"Mika-san." This time it was Tohma who had to disengage himself from her death grip. "It makes perfect sense since you've been seen in public together many times." He quickly moved himself from her reach. "I know they were all in innocence but it wouldn't seem so incredible for you to transfer your affections to K. After all, he's good looking AND a pretty influential guy in the States." Tohma suppressed a smile as he recalled the honorary winner of the Bad Luck Fangirl Contest. "Francheska seems to think so."

"Then Francheska can have him!" She retorted.

"No, no, a little too young…and that wouldn't help us, would it?" K said with some amusement from where he stood – well to the side.

Mika took several deep breaths and tried a different approach. "How can you possibly expect someone as delicate as me to be seen with someone as violent as HIM?" She cocked her head at her current husband.

At the word delicate, K went into a fit of laughter. "Delicate?" He grabbed his middle and nearly doubled over. "Who was it that drove her car THROUGH the wall of the rehearsal hall to get to Shuuichi? Who was it that dragged him out by the collar? Oh, oh, and remember that little incident last month when someone commented on Tatsuha's crush on Ryuuichi? Whatever happened to the guy's face anyway?" K tapped his chin in mock concentration. "Oh, yeah, your fist connected with it! Delicate, my ass!" He fell over into the armchair next to the desk, wiping tears off his face.

Mika glared daggers at him but remained silent. Then she too broke out laughing. She had to admit; delicate wasn't what she would normally describe herself either.

Tohma, who had been holding his breath, let it out in one huge sigh and smiled in relief. No dead bodies to remove after all.

When Mika was controlled enough to make coherent sentences she turned mischievous eyes towards her would be 'boyfriend'. "Alright, I can see the fun in this but I agree on one condition."

"Only one?" Tohma and K asked simultaneously.

Mika gave them both a half-hearted glare and batted her eyes innocently. "Just one."

K swallowed as experience told him that particular look normally spelled trouble…with a capital t.

Mika gave him a sultry smile, as she looked meaningfully at him. "I get to play with your guns whenever I want."

"My…g-guns?" K stuttered, blushing deep red as Mika's eyes swept downward.

"Hmm…" She nodded after she was done with the 'inspection'.

"Okay." Squeaked the tall and robust blond as he wondered what he had gotten himself into.

At this point, Tohma wasn't sure if this was such a good idea either. Mika with guns? Was Tokyo ready for this?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Later that evening…

As Tohma cleared his desk and prepared to leave the office, his eyes lingered on an old photograph of Ryuuichi he had hidden away in one of the drawers. He pulled it out and settled back in his chair, gazing at it with a small smile. Ryuuichi smiled back from the worn page and Tohma found himself tracing the delicate line of his former lover's face. It was taken years ago, before the mess with Eiri had started; yet Tohma could remember every detail as if it was last week.

Ryuuichi had wanted Tohma to get away from work and relax so they went to a small seaside cabin owned by the singer. Workaholic Tohma had his doubts but he went with his lover nonetheless. They did nothing all day but lie in the sun and make love. That day held one of the most beautiful memories he had of his life with Ryuuichi. Not three weeks later, Eiri had entered their lives and changed everything.

Beautiful Eiri with his laughing golden eyes and tousled blond hair, mesmerized Tohma and the older man couldn't get the spirited teen out of his mind.

Beautiful Eiri who was staring at him now…

"Wha..? Eiri-san." Tohma's chair tilted back dangerously in his astonishment at seeing the younger man. "What are you doing here?" He hastily put Ryuuichi's picture back in the drawer and closed it.

"I knocked but you didn't answer." Typical Eiri Yuki answer, which didn't answer anything at all.

"Uh…gomen. I was…occupied." Tohma smiled at the taller blond and asked again. "What brings you here."

Eiri gave him an amused look and glanced pointedly at the closed drawer. "I noticed."

Tohma sighed. What did he expect? Eiri will tell him when Eiri is good and ready. So Tohma folded his hands in front of him on his desk and waited patiently.

Eiri continued to study him and after what seemed like a long time, frowned. "Mika said you wanted a divorce."

"Ah…I thought she wanted to keep it quiet for fear of ridicule." Tohma said. "Are you here to change my mind?"

Eiri's eyes narrowed slightly at Tohma. "Can I?"

His voice held a trace of something Tohma had never thought he would hear from the tall brooding man. The small blond frowned at Eiri and got up. "What are you up to Eiri-san?" He asked softly. "Did Mika put you up to this? We had discussed this earlier and she seemed satisfied with the arrangement."

Eiri shoved his hands in his trouser pockets and continued to study the smaller man. "Mika doesn't know I'm here. I want to ask you if you are sure."

Tohma's frown deepened and he looked at the taller man uncomprehendingly. "I don't understand what this has to do with you, Eiri-san. Your sister is fine with it and I wouldn't be asking for it if I'm not sure."

"So…you were sure you did the right thing when you broke Ryuuichi's heart some years ago?" Eiri asked dryly.

"Eiri…" Tohma didn't know what to say. 6 years ago he wasn't thinking. Had he been thinking, he would never have done what he did. Too many people paid for his mistake and he was not going to let that happen again.

"I know what you want, Tohma. If I give it to you, would you forget about Ryuuichi?" Eiri asked softly as he rounded the table and came towards the gaping Tohma.

"Na…ni?" The smaller man moved backwards, away from the advancing blond. "What's gotten into you, Eiri-san?"

Tohma managed to get around the table and was standing in front of it with Eiri standing where Tohma was, behind the desk.

Eiri gave Tohma one of his rare smiles, the one that could melt anything into a puddle of goo. "Have you ever taken anything for granted, thinking that it would always be there?" Eiri asked as he came towards Tohma again. "Have you ever taken anyone for granted, Tohma-kun?"

Tohma swallowed and nodded. Ryuuichi…

"I'm afraid I've taken you for granted, Tohma-kun." Eiri nearly purred. Tohma swallowed again and began backing away but Eiri's hand came up and caught his upper arm in a firm grip. "And now that you're going back to Ryuuichi, I feel…cheated."

"Cheated?" Tohma asked, incredulous. "How…cheated?"

Eiri pulled the unresisting blond to him and pressed his lips gently on Tohma's. "Isn't this what you wanted?" He asked as he trailed his lips along the stunned Tohma's jaw line and down his neck. "And this?" Eiri nibbled the graceful neck gently as his hand roamed the smaller man's back. "God, you taste good." He muttered as he found Tohma's mouth again.

Tohma was flabbergasted. He was beyond thoughts and speech of any kind as the taller man plundered his mouth. Who was this again? This can't possibly be the indifferent Eiri Yuki that he had chased half way across the world. That man didn't give two yen about him so why was his double pulling Tohma's shirt off?

NANI !?!

Eiri Yuki was indeed pushing Tohma's shirt off his shoulders and kissing the creamy skin under the shirt. Tohma came to his senses with a choking cry and he pushed Eiri off him.

"Eiri-san!" He moved away as he pulled his shirt in place. When did THAT happen?

Eiri leaned back casually on the edge of the desk and observed Tohma calmly. "Wasn't that what you wanted?" He asked mildly.

"No. Yes…but not now." Tohma shook his head, disgusted with himself. "I meant not anymore.  Eiri, that was a mistake and it happened a long time ago." He looked the younger man in the eye. "I do…care about you and I thought that I had wanted…this." He waved his hands at the taller man. "I was wrong. I only want this with one person but I didn't realize it at the time and I nearly destroyed him. Now that I have a chance to make him happy, I can't fail him again."

Eiri continued to look at him silently, his expression unreadable. Then he said softly, "He doesn't have to know."

Tohma gaped at Eiri in horror. "I can't. And what about Shu-chan? I thought that you love him. How could you suggest this?"

Eiri shrugged elegantly. "What they don't know won't hurt them. This way everybody wins."

"Everybody? No." Tohma said firmly, shaking his head. "I won't do that to Ryuuichi even if you could do it to Shuuichi."

Eiri got off the desk and sauntered towards Tohma with a small smile. "A last fling then." He suggested silkily. "Since you're so bent on being faithful to Ryu-chan, why not have one last screw before you can't?" He reached behind Tohma and caressed the blonde's rear suggestively. "I could give you what you've been wanting all these years." He whispered into Tohma's ear. "What you will never have again. Aren't you curious?"

Tohma was almost tempted. Who would know? Eiri would never tell…

He would know. He would never be worthy of Ryuuichi again. Ever.

Tohma moved Eiri's hand and stepped back from the taller man. "Curious? Yes, I suppose I am." He smiled at Eiri. "But not enough to betray Ryu-chan again. Never again."

"You love him that much?" Eiri asked as he watched Tohma intently.

"Yes. More than anything." Tohma's smile got brighter and his eyes sparkled at the thought of his one time lover.

"Enough to give up Nittle Grasper or NG Label for him?" Eiri asked quietly.

"Yes. If Mika insists on it I would give it all up." He tilted his chin up defiantly. "Ryu-chan and I started it all and we can do it again if we want to. All I want is to be with him."

Eiri narrowed his eyes and studied the smaller man in front of him. Then nodded as if satisfied.

"Alright then, have a good night." He said and headed for the door.

"What…? Eiri-san, wait a minute…" Tohma called after the retreating back. THAT didn't make sense.

Eiri turned an amused glance at the other man. "Changed your mind already?"

"NO." Tohma blushed hotly. "What are you doing?"  He asked as the taller man turned towards the door once again.

Eiri turned to face the smaller man with an irritated sigh. "I want you, you don't want me, and so I'm leaving. Was that difficult?"

Tohma gritted his teeth and glared at the man. While he was glad that Eiri the bastard had returned, he didn't appreciate being made a fool of.

"THAT was not difficult. What I don't understand is WHY you want me at all after all this time? Or DO you?" He squinted at the brooding blond as he tried to understand Eiri's motives.

"I did and you don't." Eiri shrugged. "So why don't you go home to someone you DO want, ja!" With a wave of his hand, Eiri Yuki was gone.

Tohma blinked at the closed door as he leaned heavily against his desk.  Was Eiri…testing HIM? He shook his head, bewildered. Then he smiled as realized that he had just passed the test with flying colors. He WILL be going home to Ryuuichi after all.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Tasuki-kun! You have a visitor in meeting room B." A voice blared through the speaker and Tasuki nearly dropped the guitar he was tuning.

"Hai!" Tasuki yelled up at the speaker in the ceiling. He gave Hiro an apologetic look as he put down his guitar. "Be back in a few!" He yelled over his shoulder as he left the rehearsal hall.

He had been working with Hiro Nakano all morning, trying to get their equipment ready for Tasuki's first concert since he came under NG Label's wings. Bad Luck was going to join in the fun to show the goodwill among the bands under NG's domain.

Tasuki found meeting room B, knocked a few times and went in without waiting for permission. Hey, he was a busy man. What he hadn't expected was the tall figure standing by the window.

Tasuki stared hard at the man before a scowl appeared on his face. "What the hell do you want?" He did not come further into the room but remained in the doorway with one hand on the knob, ready to shut the door in the man's face if he didn't like the answer.

Daisuke did not move from his place by the window but he gave the younger man a small smile. "First of all, I would like to apologize for the other day. I…I was…overwhelmed and I behaved badly." He bowed low. "Gomen nasai." Daisuke straightened up and continued. "I would like the opportunity to apologize to Houjun as well but he disappeared again. I don't blame him but I would like to see him." He looked uncertainly at Tasuki and the redhead moved into the room and closed the door behind him.

Tasuki sat heavily in one of the chairs, his eyes trained steadily on the tall man. "And you came here because…?" Tasuki knew he was not being helpful but he couldn't think of any reason why he would want this psycho to see the man he loved.

Daisuke sighed and moved to sit on the chair next to Tasuki. "I couldn't find him and one of my friends recognized you. So I came to ask you for help."

Tasuki raised his brows and snorted. "The hell you say."

"I won't hurt him." Daisuke said quickly. "I just need to talk to him. I need to know…things." He sounded almost desperate as he continued. "There are things unresolved between us and…" Daisuke paused as if he worried he had said too much. "I know you're together now, that's not what I'm after." He added quickly. "It's just that things are…well…we've never really said good bye." His voice trailed off and he looked away from Tasuki. "I really did love him at one time." He added softly.

Tasuki chewed on his bottom lip thoughtfully as he watched Daisuke. The man still hadn't gotten over Chichiri.

"You still have feelings for him." He said quietly.

Daisuke turned and gave Tasuki a sardonic smile. "You know Houjun. It's hard to get over him even when…well I won't go into that. But you needn't worry. I'm with someone else now as well. But I think that Houjun and I need to get past this."

"I agree but…you threatened to kill him, man. And after that episode at the cemetery, Ch—Houjun got really sick and depressed. I won't have that happen to him again."

There was a long pause between them, and then Daisuke spoke in a low voice. "Will you at least tell him what I said? That I'm willing to forgive him if only he would talk to me and help me understand."

"I don't think even HE understood what happened. I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you." Tasuki advised lightly. "It was a traumatic time for him and his mind sometimes shuts down when he's distressed. You knew him as well; you know that the person he's blaming for this is himself. He really doesn't need you or anybody else throwing it at him."

"It's easy to be understanding when you haven't lost anything, Tasuki. I tried to understand. He ran away. I waited for him to come to me after they released him from the institute but he never came. For most of those three years, we didn't know what happened to him. Some said he was dead, some said he was in prison while others said he was in a mad house. Do you know how that feels? When I found out what happened and that he was coming home, I waited in front of his old house. By that time his parents were dead and I had wanted to be the first person he saw. Even when I thought he killed Hikou, I had wanted to comfort him when he found out about his parents. But he never came. I left messages everywhere for him to come see me, still he never came. It was as if I didn't exist. I didn't matter. What I felt meant nothing to him. How would you feel Tasuki?"

"He was afraid." Tasuki said. "And from what I saw at the cemetery, he had every right to be."

"I was angry." Daisuke sighed. "I haven't seen him in ten years and he's with another man at my brother's grave. I went a little nuts."

"A little?" Tasuki laughed mirthlessly. "Try a lot! What changed your mind? What make you so understanding now?"

Daisuke shrugged. "I don't know…but that day…after you left, I felt really sad. But it wasn't my sadness; it was as if I could feel Houjun's pain. I can't explain it, it's too damn weird but…it had gotten me thinking and…now I need to see him. Finally talk to him."

"There's a lot of pain hidden deep inside that man." Tasuki agreed quietly. "Look, I'll talk to him but I can't promise nothing. Just give him some time, okay?"

Daisuke brightened and bowed his head again. "Thank you, Tasuki. Thank you. That's all I ask." He got up and handed Tasuki a card. "You could reach me at one of those numbers. You won't regret this, I promise."

Tasuki got up and both men shook hands. Daisuke left the room with a relieved smile on his face while Tasuki sported a worried frown. How was he supposed to tell Chichiri this? Tasuki groaned at the thought but he pushed it aside. Right now he had to finish the equipment check with Hiro.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The next day…

"I'm gonna kill that Nuriko!" Tasuki grumbled as he stared at his reflection. He was currently clad in Nuriko's latest idea for a costume for his upcoming concert. The tight black T-shirt with mock sleeves was adorned with numerous slashes, exposing more of the redhead than not. His tight red leather pants weren't in a much better shape. His only thanks were that the crotch area remained intact, nothing hanging out there. He thanked whatever deity watching, for small favors.

"What the fuck kind of a costume is this?" Tasuki swiveled in front of the full-length mirror in the makeshift dressing room next to their recording studio. "I'm gonna fucking kill him."

"I don't know…Personally, I think it could use a few more…ventilations."

Tasuki groaned at the sound of the silky voice and turned to see Chichiri leaning casually against the closed door with his arms crossed. The man was surveying him critically with a mild expression. His brown eye rested pointedly at Tasuki's groin and he nodded firmly. "Yes, at least one more…"

"Fuck you." Tasuki growled and turned away, red faced from the scrutinizing stare but found the man's reflection laughing at him.

"I could arrange that." Chichiri said suggestively. His eye roamed Tasuki hungrily but he remained relaxed by the door.

Tasuki narrowed his eyes at the reflection before shaking his head. "How'd you get in here?"

"Through the door." Chichiri's slim shoulders shrugged indifferently.

"It was locked. Don't tell me you have keys to every room." Tasuki was sure he locked it especially since he was changing.

"It was opened."

"Bullshit! I wouldn't be surprised if you picked the lock or somethin'." His mind was leaning towards the 'something'. There were just too many unexplained incidents with Chichiri for it to simply be a coincidence.

"Tsk, tsk…such language." The older man observed mildly.

"What, are you my mother now?" Tasuki scowled as he pulled the questionable shirt over his head. He heard a sharp intake of breath by the door and he wondered if it was a good idea to do that just now.

"I doubt that your mother would be feeling what I'm feeling right now." Chichiri muttered under his breath. He watched as Tasuki hastily pulled on a white T-shirt and looked away before the redhead could see the longing in his eye.

"Did you want something, Chiri?" He asked quietly as he watched the solemn man in the mirror's reflection. "Because if you don't, I'd like to change."


Chichiri smiled a sad little smile as he looked at Tasuki's reflection. "I want a great many things, Tasuki. I'm just not destined to get them." He pushed off the wall and came towards the redhead. "Your shirt for instance. I wanted it off but you went and put it on." He gave Tasuki a sardonic smile and shrugged. "I just can't win."

"You didn't want to win…you didn't want me." Tasuki said hoarsely. His throat tightened uncomfortably as he looked into Chichiri's eye.

"No, I wanted you alright. I just don't…want to love you." Chichiri pulled Tasuki flush against him so that the redhead could feel just how much he was wanted.

"You don't want to…but you do…?" Tasuki asked breathlessly, hope shining in his amber eyes.

"You said you'd wait…for how long, Tasuki?" Chichiri asked softly.

How long before you betray him as well? Zanshi's question came back to Tasuki's mind and he shook his head mentally. There was something about Zanshi and Chichiri…he just couldn't put his finger on it.

"As long as it takes."

Chichiri looked away with a small frown. "Forever?" He whispered.

"If need be."

Chichiri snorted derisively. "You're not that patient."

"This has nothing to do with patience, Chiri." He reached over to cup Chichiri's chin and turned the other man's face towards him. He looked deep into the uncertain brown eye and smiled. "It has everything to do with love."

"How can you be sure?" Chichiri asked softly. "You're so young…what do you know of love?" He reached between Tasuki legs and rubbed the redhead's crotch. "This isn't love. It's lust."

Tasuki pressed harder into the older man's hand and smirked. "Oh, I know what it is. That's not all I feel, Chiri." He took Chichiri's other hand and pressed it to his heart. "Do you know how I feel when I look at you? What I see?" Tasuki asked, looking deeply into the brown eye.

Chichiri shook his head mutely.

"I see someone I was waiting for all my life." Tasuki said earnestly. "You take my breath away, Chiri, since the first time I laid eyes on you. I didn't know what it was; I had never felt anything like it. You make me ache just looking at you and the aching is in my heart." Tasuki rubbed Chichiri's hand in small circles over his heart. Then he gave Chichiri a mischievous fanged grin. "Okay, so it's in my fucking pants too but that's because you're so fucking hot." Then he turned serious again and cupped Chichiri's cheek. "You try to be so cold and heartless but I could feel the uncertainty and fear you buried deep inside. When you talked to Shuuichi or Sakuma-san, I can see the gentleness you tried so hard to hide. I saw your compassion when you gave your lunch to that old man on the street and then you took him to the shelter that you're funding."

At this, Chichiri protested and made an effort to pull away but Tasuki held him tight.

"Yes, I know about your little secrets, Chiri, but they're safe with me. I love you even more for them." Tasuki brought the hand held over his heart to his lips and kissed Chichiri's knuckles softly. "You made me cry when I saw you with the kids at the orphanage, you know that?"

Chichiri frowned, shaking his head, his mouth hung open as he listen to Tasuki's confessions.

"They love you so much and it's not because you gave them money. They don't know any of that. You spend time with them and played with them and you did those incredible magic tricks for them. Oh, by the way, we need to talk about getting that show on the road! It was awesome!"

Chichiri blinked uncomprehendingly at the redhead. He knew that Tasuki followed him but he had no idea the younger man saw so much.

"Even Daisuke still loves you, in his own way." Tasuki said softly.

Chichiri frowned at Tasuki in confusion. "Death threats are declarations of love where you came from?" He asked.

Tasuki chuckled and kissed Chichiri's nose lightly. "No, but he came and talked to me yesterday. He's looking for you because he wanted to talk to you. No pain, he promised."

"I'm not afraid of pain. They're all the same to me." Chichiri said distractedly.

"He's really sorry, Chiri. It seemed that you'd hurt him more than you think. He actually thought that you'd deserted him, that you didn't love him. That's why you never went back to see him."

"I didn't deserve him. That's why I never went back." Chichiri said quietly. "Just like I don't deserve you."

"Bullshit." Tasuki said softly. "If other people can forgive you, why can't you forgive yourself?"

"People hadn't forgiven me, Tasuki. Some of them had just forgotten."

"Then you too can forget." Tasuki tightened his hold on the man. "You don't have to be strong for the people you love any more, Chiri. You don't have to worry about Ryuuichi anymore because Seguchi-san will take care of him for you. You don't have to worry about Yuki because he's one hell of a bastard and can take care of himself. You just have to be Chichiri and let me take care of you. Let me love you, Chiri. Please…"

"Tasuki…" Chichiri whispered. He was so choked up he couldn't form the words to express his feelings. Tears gathered in his eye and fell down his cheek, as he looked deep into the smoldering amber pools of Tasuki's eyes. How could he deny the younger man anything?

"I dreamed about you." Chichiri said softly as Tasuki gently brushed away his tears. "I've waited for you too, Tasuki and when I'm ready, we'll be together. I promise."

"I said I would wait, Chiri, didn't I?"

"Yes."  Chichiri caressed Tasuki's cheek gently.  "Just give me a little more time then I will come to you." Chichiri pulled Tasuki in and sealed his promise with a deep, lingering kiss.

TBC…

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Did you like?  Please let me know.  There will be maybe two more chapters and this story should be done.  I have a few more ideas I'm working on…a Weiss cross over is one and one ore two other Chi/Tas storylines.  I hope you guys will be around for those, ne?  Hugs and blessings to all of you!

Next chapter:  Tohma and Ryuuichi lemon…the boys were waiting oh so patiently.  I can't disappoint, can I.  There will also be more Nuriko and Hotohori…