Author's notes and Warning:  Gomen, gomen, it took so long no da.  If you've read Love Lies Waiting then you know why, ne? 

This chapter is a little sad at the end but please keep in mind that I will make it all better!

Tohma/Ryuuichi lemon with lots and lots of honey!  I tell you the sap here will kill you!  Hints of Hotohori/Nuriko -sap. I'm sorry I couldn't give them more time…  Tasuki/Chichiri…well, you'll see…

Special thanks to all my reviewers and to Hitari-chan for her fantastic beta work.  Arigatou, no da!

Midori Natari Himura: Nah, Eiri loves his Shu-chan way too much!  He felt bad for being the cause of the T/R break-up and wanted to make sure that Tohma won't do it again…  As for Zanshi, well…let's just say he's irrevocably tied to Chichiri, no da…  Thank you for your review!!!

TigerBlak: *blushes* Thank you!  I'm so glad you liked the story!  Aiya!  I can't wait for the Gravitation manga, no daaaaa….

Shadow Priestess: Zanshi will definitely appear again before the fic is done… and daaaa, I'm writing, I'm writing!  Thank you!

Carmerethiel: What a beautiful name…um…lady Pyrrha? Arigatou!

Maggs: LOL, that's all I need, no da…your parents beating me to a pulp!  Here's a chapter, read quick and go do you homework, okay!  Thank you!!

Eeyaatoe: Awww….*blushes and spins around*  You're so sweet!  Thank you for your review.  I hope you love this chapter too, though I'm not so sure…

Xellas M.: I'm so glad you like Mika and K, I do think they are perfect for each other!  As for Daisuke, rest assure he won't be a trouble maker…I have something else in mind for Chichiri…I think you know what it is… Arigatou and a great big hug!  Thanks for your input when I was writing Love Lies Waiting…I didn't get a chance to tell you then…  While I'm at it, thanks for your input for this chapter as well…your opinions mean tons to me! (((HUG))) and more (((HUG)))

Keimei: Zanshi…*giggles* I'm glad people like him, it'd be really weird if you guys don't, no da…*looks around whistling innocently* And Eiri IS just testing Tohma-kun.  He's really not such a bad guy… well, not in MY fic anyway.  Thanks for your comments!

Kawaii: Ah…thank you for the well wishes! I hope YOU had a great Chinese New Year?  February 2 is Imbolc, a pagan holiday.  I celebrated then, no da…  Thank you for your nice review.  I'm so glad you're still sticking with my stories…makes writing worthwhile, no da…

Zen: On Mika and K?  My thoughts exactly!    Ah, Eiri is not a bastard this time, ne?  He's a good little boy, which reminds me, he needs more lime, no da…   Arigatou!

Sakata: I hope you are doing better? Thanks for your continual support, it's so awfully appreciated.  And looking forward to your stories, as always, no da.

Ryogazgal: ROFL.  What can I say?  I loved all your reviews, no da!  Thank you very much!  BTW, what are you planning for Riho? Writing in a Chi/Tas romance maybe?  Ne? Ne?

Hitari-chan: *glomps Hitari-chan*  I wuv you!!!!  Thank you, thank you, thank you!  Um…about that fanart…*wink wink*

Mikazuki: I know it could be puzzling if you're not familiar with an anime, that's so sweet of you to read and review!  Arigatou, no da!

Ayako: Thank you for your review…um both of them, no da!  And you're so right; NO ONE can resist Ryu-chan, ne?  Thanks again!

I would also like to thank Sakata, TigerBlak, Kawaii, Mikazuki, Xellas, Keimei, Ryogazgal, Chatterbox, Kouryou Sanome, Dawn Forte and Yoe for reviewing 'Love Lies Waiting'!  I'm glad you're not mad I took a little break, ne?


Second warning on the lemon… Not for anyone under age!!!

Songs Of The Heart - Chapter 10: The Redemption

By Moonraven

"Are you waiting for him?" Soft familiar voice asked from the relative warmth of the bedroom behind him.

Ryuuichi smiled and shook his head. He knew who it was without turning around. Chichiri was always good at sneaking up on him. He continued to stare out into the night as he leaned lightly on the railing of his balcony. He shivered slightly as the cool breeze brushed his bare torso and regretted not putting on a shirt before coming out. It was not a cold night but living on the 10th floor could be breezy.

"He's not coming." Ryuuichi said softly. "He's not ready, no da." He smiled again as he pictured Chichiri frowning at some imaginary injustice on Tohma's part.

"You're alright with that?" Chichiri asked as he walked out to stand next to his former lover, his posture semi-identical to the other man.

Ryuuichi turned and smiled at the younger man. Chichiri was dressed, as always, in black. He had thought the color, together with Chichiri's brooding expression, morbid. But as he got to know Chichiri, the color came to represent the depth and complexity of the man. Black was as unfathomable as the man wearing it.

Chichiri didn't look at him but continued to look out at the city lights. His face looked serene but Ryuuichi could tell that the younger man was anxious to hear his reply. Ryuuichi turned slightly and leaned one elbow on top of the iron rail as he ruffled Chichiri's dark hair playfully.

"Come on, Chichiri, no da… What's wrong?" He knew Chichiri didn't come to see him for idle talk.

Chichiri didn't turn towards him but Ryuuichi could see the tiny smile on his face. "I told you not to tease me so much. Now you can't get rid of the 'no da', can you?"

"Can too, no…" Damn it! Ryuuichi bit his lips as Chichiri burst out laughing.

"Told you." Chichiri said softly as he turned and placed a chaste kiss on Ryuuichi's lips. He turned back to the night-lights and sighed. "Are you happy, Ryu-chan?" He asked softy.

Ah, so THAT was it. Ryuuichi shook his head at his friend's concern. Chichiri was always worried about everyone even if he projected this 'I-could-care-less-if-you-spontaneously-combust-in-front-of-me' attitude. He always cared.

"That's a loaded question, Chichiri, it's not fair to ask me that at all. Am I happy that Tohma loves me? Yes. Am I happy that some people will be hurt from this? No. Am I happy that you found Tasuki? Yes. Am I happy that you still-"

Chichiri turned and placed a hand over his mouth and Ryuuichi stopped talking. The younger man gave him a resigned look and rephrased his question.

"Do you regret your decision?"

"No." Ryuuichi said without hesitation. He regretted nothing. He had given Tohma his heart to do as the other man pleased; the wheel was in motion, now he waited to see where it would take him.

Chichiri nodded. "Then you are happy with your decision." He looked deep into the familiar blue eyes. "You are happy with him."

Ryuuichi smiled and nodded. "Very."

"Even when he's not here."

Ryuuichi frowned slightly and looked away. "He's uncertain and still feels guilty. I don't think he has forgiven himself yet. It will take some patience on my part, no da." He turned back to his former lover and gave him a grin. "I think you once said that it was my forte, ne?"

"Hn." Chichiri grunted and turned to look down over the railing at the people and cars below them. "Don't let him take too long." He said as he stared fixedly at the large Sakura tree below him.

"You worry too much, Chichiri. He won't hurt me again. I know." Ryuuichi place a gentle hand on the younger man's shoulder. "How are you and Tasuki?"

Chichiri shrugged and turned his gaze back to the Tokyo night-lights. "We are…" He stopped and thought for a few moments before he continued. "We are starting…something."

Ryuuichi smiled and hugged Chichiri to him. That may not sound like much but from the man who had locked up his emotions behind Fort Knox, it was significant. "I am so happy for you." Ryuuichi said and kissed the younger man's temple. "You deserve so much happiness, Chichiri."

Chichiri shook his head but leaned into the embrace. "You sound just like him." He said quietly.

"Speaking of which… Why are YOU here?" Ryuuichi turned the younger man to face him. "Shouldn't you be with him?"

Chichiri had the grace to look embarrassed. "I…I'm taking it slow as well, no da."

Ryuuichi narrowed his eyes at his friend. "Hypocrite! Don't YOU take too long either." He ruffled Chichiri's hair some more and pulled him along into the bedroom. "I'm freezing so I'm going to bed. YOU are going to find Tasuki and…well and do what ever it is 19 year-olds like to do, ne?"

Chichiri smiled and shook his head. "Hentai." He said softly.

The figure hiding in the shadows of the Sakura tree looked up wistfully at the two men on the balcony. His heart pounded violently in his chest and he felt it constrict painfully as the men held each other then moved back into the privacy of the bedroom. An agonized moan escaped his lips as he turned and walked back in the direction he came.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Tohma gritted his teeth and took a deep breath to curb the rising nausea that threatened to make him ill. He got numbly out of the car and walked stiffly up the driveway to the front door. He felt cold and empty despite the warmth of his coat and hat. It wasn't even a cold night but the chill in his heart would allow no other sensation to interfere lest they allowed him to feel the searing pain that had pierced his heart.

"What are you doing here?" A soft voice brought his head up to see another chilling sight; Chichiri leaning casually against the wall next to his front door. Now how did he get here before him…? Tohma wondered as he stared at Chichiri and then back to the street in front of his house. He frowned and looked at Chichiri again. How did Chichiri get here?

Chichiri pushed himself lazily off the wall and walked towards the bewildered Tohma. "Why are you here?" Chichiri asked again.

Tohma blinked at the bland expression on the other man's face and swallowed his confusion. "Um…I…live here. H-How did you get here so fast?" When he left Ryuuichi's apartment building, Chichiri and the singer were going into the bedroom…

Chichiri narrowed his good eye and peered across the gloom at the pale blond. "Why aren't you with him?"

Why answer a question when you could ask one, ne, Chichiri? Tohma saw clearly now where Eiri had gotten that irritating habit. Why wasn't he with his love? Tohma felt the tightening in his chest again at the thought of Ryuuichi and fought against it. "Because you were with him." He said that rather harshly and took a deep breath to calm himself. "What are YOU doing here?" He asked in return.

Chichiri said nothing for a long time and they stared at each other silently in the dark. "Do you regret letting him go?" Tohma asked suddenly.

Chichiri continued to stare darkly at Tohma as he said, "Only if you hurt him."

Tohma snorted derisively. "I don't think I'd get the chance. He doesn't need me now. He has you…will always have you." Tohma's voice trailed off and he cursed himself for his weakness.

"I went to make sure he was happy. To say good bye." Chichiri said quietly. "There hasn't been anything between us for awhile now. Ever since the day you brought Kuma to him."

Tohma looked sharply at Chichiri and shook his head. "I…I saw you. You were with him on the balcony. Then you went into his room and…" Tohma stopped. He didn't want to think about what they did next.

"And then I came here." Chichiri said as he looked at Tohma with some amusement. "Do you really think that we could have done it THAT fast?" He was smiling now. "Making love to Ryu-chan requires more precious time that that, Tohma-kun. Or have you forgotten?" Chichiri was smirking at the shuffling blond. Even in the gloom, Tohma knew that the other man could tell he was blushing furiously.

Chichiri started to walk down the walkway towards the street. As Chichiri passed him, the younger man stopped but didn't look at him.

"We had something special, yes, but it wasn't love. Not the love he feels for you. I could never replace that and I had never wanted to. I care very much for him and want him to be happy so if you hurt him again, I WILL kill you." He did turn towards Tohma then and as his eye met Tohma's, the blond felt chills run down his spine. The dangerous glint in that cold eye was unmistakable; THAT was a promise and Chichiri never breaks a promise.

"I'm not going to be with him because you threaten me, Chichiri-san." Tohma said coolly. "I'm with him because I love him. Believe me, if I hurt him again, I'll kill myself before you'll even get a wind of it. You needn't bother."

Chichiri stared intently into his eyes then nodded and walked silently away from the blond. Before Chichiri disappeared into the night, Tohma heard him say softly over his shoulder, "Go to him. He's waiting for you."

He blinked at the darkness. Chichiri was gone. How did he keep doing that?

Go to him…


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

He was so beautiful. He was truly perfect and utterly irresistible. How could he have thought that he could live without this man?

Tohma stared fixedly at the slumbering figure on the large king sized bed. Ryuuichi was sleeping on his stomach, half sprawled across the bed with the soft green satin sheet tangled enticingly around his waist and legs. His back was bare and from the smooth line where the sheets hugged his hips, Tohma knew that his love was naked. He smiled at the memories. Ryuuichi loved to sleep in the nude. He loved the way the cool satin sheets caressed his bare skin…Tohma had loved the way Ryuuichi's satiny skin caressed his…

As if the sleeping angel could feel Tohma's gaze on him, he moaned and shifted on the bed. Tohma gasped as the sheet slipped further off Ryuuichi's body to exposed creamy smooth skin over the soft round hips. It took all of Tohma's will power and then some to keep him from moving closer to the bed, closer to the enticing body that promised sweet oblivion, closer to paradise.

His groin ached. It burned with needs he hadn't felt in a long time. HE burned with needs and desires and the all-consuming thoughts of possessing that beguiling body stretched out in front of him. Must have him.

Despite his resolve to just watch, Tohma was surprised to find that he was now standing next to the bed. His slack clad thigh brushed the satin sheets covering the thick mattress and he was only a couple of inches away from the man he loved. Ryuuichi's face was turned towards him and he noted with a smile that Kuma was no longer clutched in Ryuuichi arms like he normally was. Tohma knew because he had watched Ryuuichi sleep many times in the past. It was one of his favorite pastimes, especially when he couldn't sleep. He loved to watch Ryuuichi Sakuma.

Then Tohma froze. His breath caught suddenly in his throat as one sleepy blue eye gazed hazily at him from the bed. Ryuuichi was awake.

The singer blinked and propped himself up on his elbows, looking confusedly at the blond who had the 'deer-caught-in-the-headlights' stupor.

Tohma could not breath. Lights from the city outside streamed in the open French windows, casting erotic gleams on the firm muscles of Ryuuichi's back and hips.

"Tohma?" Ryuuichi's voice was husky with sleep but Tohma's needy mind only heard the whisper of a lover and his groin tightened even more.

"Aa." That was NOT an answer of an amorous lover. Tohma scolded himself.

Ryuuichi turned over and pushed himself into a sitting position as he rubbed his eyes sleepily. Tohma groaned as the man on the bed unknowingly allowed the sheets to slip further down his body, exposing firm strong thighs.

"Is everything alright?" Ryuuichi asked, concerned.

"Aa." Oh, yes. More eloquence.

Ryuuichi watched him with a small frown then seeing where Tohma's eyes had traveled; he blushed but didn't adjust the soft green sheets.

"You've done this before." Ryuuichi said softly from the bed. "Watching me... How?"

Tohma nodded and swallowed.  He held up a set of keys nervously and hoped that Ryuuichi wouldn't be too upset that Tohma had invaded his privacy.  He was sure Ryuuichi knew that he owned the building…

Ryuuichi smiled and held out his hand. "I'd thought they were dreams." The singer said as he gently beckoned to the blond. "I thought it was because I had wanted you so badly that I had imagined them."

Tohma came out of his daze and reached out to touch the offered hand. He felt warm, strong fingers fold over his and then he was firmly pulled towards the beautiful man on the bed. I want you too, he wanted to shout. So much…

The next thing his foggy mind knew, he was lying fully clothed atop the naked Ryuuchi. He was not pleased. He wanted to feel the other man's silky skin against his. Tohma shifted between Ryuuichi's spread legs, pressing their bodies harder against each other. Ryuuichi sighed happily at the sensation and Tohma bit back a cry. It felt so good.

"Make love to me." Ryuuichi whispered as he gently thrust his hips upwards, increasing the pressure between them.

"I don't deserve you." Tohma whispered back as he traced loving lines on Ryuuichi's neck and jaw with his lips. Tears burned the back of his eyes at the familiar scent of his lover. He didn't deserve this perfection, this happiness. He didn't deserve this man.

Strong hands came up and took a firm hold of his face. Ryuuichi pulled Tohma away from his neck and looked solemnly into the watery green eyes. "Love me?" It was a heartbreaking question that tore at Tohma's heart.

"I do." He nearly choked on his emotion. With every breath in my body, he added silently.

Ryuuichi's dark blue eyes softened and he smiled. "Then you DO deserve me." He pulled the unresisting face down and parted his lips eagerly when he felt Tohma's mouth on his.

Tohma sighed into the kiss and he slipped his tongue in to caress and dance with it's mate. His mate. If such a perfect being like Ryuuichi could forgive him, surely he deserved to be forgiven?

Beneath Tohma, Ryuuichi moaned and writhed as he tried to remove the blonde's shirt. Tohma smirked at his lover's impatience and pulled away to take care of that little inconvenience. Ryuuichi whimpered in protest and attempted to pull the blond back down against him.

Tohma chuckled at the displeasure in his lover's face. He removed his clothing quickly, the pulsing hardness between Ryuuichi's legs and the longing in the man's face were motivation enough. To hell with a few popped buttons.

Ryuuichi nearly purred as Tohma pressed his naked body down on top of him. Tohma looked down to the slightly parted lips as soft sounds of pleasure escaped them. Gods he loved this man. Tonight, he would show Ryuuichi just how precious Ryuuichi was to him. He smiled and placed small teasing kisses along Ryuuichi's jaw line then moved to do the same along the smooth slender neck. Ryuuichi moaned low in his throat and threw his head to the side, exposing more area for Tohma to explore while the singer's hands caressed encouragingly on the blonde's back and rear.

Tohma moved down the hard body of his lover and kissed, licked and suckled every area he could find. Strangled sounds escaped the writhing body beneath him and Tohma's breath caught in his throat at their familiarity. It felt so right, so wonderful, so perfect. He was home…with his heart…

Worshiping Ryuuichi's body was never a problem but after 6 years, his control was being sorely tested. He wanted to be buried inside that incredible body so badly he had to take several deep breaths as he slithered down his lover's body. The soft whimpering from Ryuuichi did not help his situation any but Tohma was determined to take it slow; to cherish this moment and make it last as long as he could.

"Toh…ma…" Tohma could hear the desperation in Ryuuichi's voice as the singer moaned, thrashing his head from side to side. Ryuuichi's hands gripped his sheets tightly as he bucked up off the bed to get more friction from Tohma's body. "Please…"

Ryuuichi's hot length nudged Tohma's chin as he paid homage to the man's navel. The nudging continued and Tohma repressed the urge to tip his head down and lick the moistened tip.

"Tohma, please…" Ryuuichi begged again.

Well, there goes another resolution, thought Tohma as he complied. So much for taking it slow…his love needed this now. Tenderly, he took the engorged flesh in his hand and licked the moisture off the tip, dipping into the slit to get everything he could. Using the pad of his tongue, Tohma bathed the shaft reverently, pausing to rub repeatedly against the ridge of the head. Ryuuichi moaned appreciatively and thrust up involuntarily. Tohma took the head gently between his lips and sucked in earnest while his hand held the hardened shaft. He gave Ryuuichi a series of quick pumps as he continued to lick and suck on the head.

"Ahh…Tohma…" Ryuuichi was nearly off the bed as he arched himself into his lover's mouth and hand. Tohma knew what Ryuuichi needed and he shifted slightly and brought his other hand to the neglected sac. He rolled the soft flesh between his fingers and knew by their tightness that Ryuuichi was very close to his release. Tohma doubled his efforts on his love's erection and found his reward when Ryuuichi gave a keening wail and jerked under him. Prepared as he was, he continued to suck and draw out as much essence as he could, reveling at the taste of his lover, the taste that he had never forgotten.

Licking his lips and wiping the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand, he moved up to hover over the still panting Ryuuichi. Sparkling blue eyes gazed up lovingly at him and Tohma smiled, his heart warmed at the love he saw there. He bend down and gently took Ryuuichi's bottom lip between his teeth and sucked insistently. Ryuuichi opened his mouth and swiped his tongue across Tohma's teeth, inviting the blond to explore inside. When Tohma slipped his tongue in, Ryuuichi pulled the blond down on top of him. Tohma gasped as his still erected member rubbed against Ryuuichi's crotch and he couldn't hold back the moan when Ryuuichi rocked his hips against the blond.

"Inside…now…" Ryuuichi moaned into his mouth. "I've waited so long, Tohma."

Tohma broke off the kiss when he found a tube of lubricant thrust into his hand. He looked down and smirked at his lover when he felt the beginning of an answering hardness beneath him. All that rocking had gotten Ryuuichi excited again and who was he to deny his love the pleasure he so craved?

Tohma shifted off Ryuuichi slightly and flipped the lid off the lube. He squeezed a glob on to his hand and swallowed the tightness in his throat. His wet dreams and fantasies of the past 6 years were about to be realized and he nearly shook with anticipation. With his non-lubed hand, he urged a large pillow under Ryuuichi's buttocks and moaned out loud when presented with a very enticing view of the pink opening.

As if to try Tohma's control even further, Ryuuichi spread his legs wider and moaned. Tohma drew in a shaky breath and rubbed the cool gel on his fingers. He moved up closer and slowly placed a finger at the entrance, rubbing and pressing gently. Ryuuichi wiggled and moaned again at the pressure. Tohma was fascinated with the sight of the flushed singer and the small erotic sounds he was making. He continued to rub and press without slipping inside, drawing desperate thrashing and protests from the other man.

Then he slid his index finger in. Ryuuichi whimpered and lifted his hips off the pillow as he tried to push the finger in deeper. Tohma loved to pleasure Ryuuichi. To him, that was as good as pleasuring himself. His heart brimmed with satisfaction and joy at the sight of the writhing Ryuuichi and he couldn't help but want to do more. Tohma moved his finger in and out repeatedly, loving the feel of the hot tight channel he was embedded in. Soon, he thought, it would be more than his finger that was drawing out moans and cries from his lover.

With encouraging cries from Ryuuichi, Tohma slipped in a second finger and pressed on the tight ring around the opening. He rotated his wrist and pressed upward, smiling when he found the spot that had Ryuuichi crying out and bucking wildly.

"God, Tohma…NOW…" Ryuuichi's hoarse demand went directly to Tohma's needy arousal and he pulled his fingers out of his lover. Tohma moved up and hooked his arms under Ryuuichi's bent knees and guided his dripping erection to his lover's opening. Keeping his eyes trained on his Ryuuichi's face, he slowly eased into his lover's body.

Tohma gritted his teeth at the tightness and paused, afraid that he may have hurt Ryuuichi. His lover, however, didn't like that at all. Ryuuichi wrapped his legs around Tohma and pulled the blond into his body as sobs of pure pleasure tore from his throat. Tohma stilled when he was fully seated in his lover. He was so aroused he wasn't sure he could keep up the pace he had intended to set. His plan of slowly making love to Ryuuichi all night flew out the windows as soon as he entered the hot sheath of Ryuuichi's body. Gods, but this felt good!

After a few deep breaths, he slowly withdrew until he was almost completely out, then he slowly pushed in again. He did this several times until Ryuuichi all but scream for Tohma to fuck him into next week.

Ryuuichi's desperate cries were the downfall of Tohma's control. The ecstatic pressure around his throbbing organ increased as he sped up his pace, slamming again and again into that tight heat. Ryuuichi reached for his own throbbing flesh but Tohma stopped him by taking a hold of his lover's hand. Then he took their entwined hands and cover Ryuuichi's wet arousal, pumping it vigorously. With a guttural cry, Ryuuichi tensed under him and jets of surging heat pulsed from the Ryuuichi, covering both their hands and the brunette's chest. The exquisite sight of Ryuuichi cumming drove Tohma over the edge and he thrust deep as his seeds burned their path through him and deep into his lover.

Exhausted, Tohma collapsed onto his lover, making sure to support some of his weight with his arms. Still panting heavily, he buried his face in Ryuuichi's neck, loving the very scent of the man. Ryuuichi reached up one arm tiredly to stroke the back of Tohma's head while the other snaked around the man's waist and held him close.

"That was perfect, Tohma." He whispered into the blonde's ear. "I love you."

Tohma raised himself off Ryuuchi and gazed deeply into the warm blue eyes. This WAS perfect and if he were to die right now, in this man's arms, he would have no complaint.

"Hai, Ryu-chan. You ARE perfect." He bent down and cover Ryuuchi's lips tenderly, eyes closed, tongue delving deep and slow. There was no hurry. They have a lifetime together, to cherish, to love and to make love…


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Eiri Yuki took a last, long drag from his cigarette then threw the stub on the ground by his feet and snubbed that out lazily with his foot. He felt uneasy about something but he couldn't put his finger on it. It was just a feeling that he rarely had, the last time being when Shuuichi was attacked by that asshole from Ask. He would never tell anyone this of course, but he blamed himself entirely for the unfortunate incident. This time he had made sure that Shuuichi was safe and would remain so until he could see the youngster at home.

Eiri's thought came to an abrupt stop when he heard footsteps coming down the deserted path of the park. He was sitting on a bench adjacent to the walkway looking out over the nightlife of Tokyo. He did not move as he waited to see who would be walking around in a dark and deserted park at this time of night. If it was that fool Shuuichi, he would give him the beating of his life…then he would soothe away the pain by making love to the boy all night…

Eiri shook his head in disgust. What the hell was he thinking? Why were all of his thoughts of the youth, sexually explicit? He dropped his head into his hands and moaned his contempt. He really had it bad.

The footsteps stopped a few feet from him and Eiri tensed in awareness. If the person thought that he was easy prey…Eiri's lips curled into a feral grin as he waited for the other person to make the move.

"Ne, Eiri…What are you doing?"

Eiri relaxed as he recognized the voice. Houjun or Chichiri now. He looked up, slightly irritated that he couldn't take this stifling uneasiness out on someone.

"Smoking." He said as he took out another cigarette. He really should quit. It was bad for his health.

Chichiri came and sat next to his long time friend and together they silently watched the twinkling light danced in front of them.

"Where's Shuuichi?" Chichiri finally asked, breaking the silence.

"With Hiro." Eiri said. "They're practicing something or other." He sounded bored as he took another drag. He glanced sideways at his friend. Chichiri was staring passively in front of him. "Tasuki's there, I heard." He added just to see if he could get a reaction.

None.

Eiri Yuki was not a man for small talk but Chichiri was even worse. Eiri felt like a babbling fool next to his friend but he couldn't help himself. So he babbled in his own way. "Something's not right, Houjun. I feel it." This was probably the only man who would understand what he was saying.

"Aa." Chichiri said quietly. "I know."

Eiri looked sharply at his friend and frowned. "What is it?" He asked. If Chichiri knew, why didn't the man say something before? It had been days since Eiri felt the uneasiness in his heart.

"It's evil, no da." Chichiri said. "Evil in men's heart."

He did not say more and Eiri snorted in irritation. "Are you talking about the bomb threats?" Eiri's frown deepened. "I don't know…"

Chichiri turned and gave his friend a tired smile. "That will go away soon, Eiri. You don't have to worry about Shuuichi and the bombs, no da." He turned back to his observation of the city.

"Houjun…you're not the…" Eiri couldn't bring himself to say it. Chichiri couldn't possibly the terrorist that had been threatening Japan with bombs and nerve gas…could he?

"Nani?" Chichiri turned questioning eye to his friend and huffed in indignation when he saw Eiri's thoughts flash across his face. "BAKA!" He smacked the top of Eiri's head as he glared at his friend.

Eiri rubbed the top of his head and scooted a little away. "Then stop being so mysterious and stop talking like that." He mumbled in his defense. "How would you know that the bomb threats were going away?" His amber eyes lit up as he thought of another possibility. "Are you working with the police? Do you have a lead?"

Chichiri didn't answer right away and Eiri was about to give up hoping for one when the older man spoke.

"Something like that. I can't say more, no da." He sighed and smiled at his friend. "So don't worry, okay? It's time you enjoy living, no da."

Eiri looked at Chichiri as if he had lost his mind. Chichiri, talking about living…and joy…something was definitely wrong. He brought his face closer to his friend and peered suspiciously at Chichiri. "You don't drink, so I know you're not drunk…"

Chichiri chuckled softly and gently pushed him away. "Baka." He said again. "I just want to see you happy, Eiri. You'll drive Shuuichi away, no da, if you're so grumpy all the time."

"And that would be bad because…?" Eiri asked with one eyebrow raised.

Chichiri gave Eiri one of his rare smiles. "Because you love him, Eiri-kun."

Eiri sighed and snubbed out another cigarette but didn't respond.

"And he loves you." Chichiri added.

"He gives me headaches." Eiri muttered. It was true, he thought defensively. The boy chattered on endlessly. And the mess he made in Eiri's apartment was enough to give anyone a permanent migraine.

But Shuuichi also made him feel something else he hadn't thought he'd ever feel. Tenderness. Eiri swallowed and rubbed unconsciously at the middle of his chest. Shuuichi brought this warm, aching feeling that had Eiri doing things he didn't normally do. Like taking in a male lover. But then it wasn't just any male lover; it was Shuuichi Shindoh.

Chichiri smiled and nodded. "Yeah, he gives me a headache sometimes too but it's worth it, ne?" He cocked his head and looked at Eiri expectantly.

Eiri smiled back and said, "Yeah."

Chichiri seemed satisfied as he gave a contented little sigh and looked out over the city again. Eiri didn't understand this man. This was not the man that he had known these past ten years. This was more like the man…no, the boy he'd known before…

"It seems I don't have to look for a rare and exotic bird, ne, Houjun." Eiri commented casually. Could Tasuki have made such a difference? He could see Chichiri smiling at the implication and he waited patiently for his reply.

"No. I've found what I need, Eiri. Thank you." Chichiri got up and straightened his pants. "Eiri." He said softly, not looking at the blond. "Whatever happens in the future, Eiri, know that I love you. You were as much my anchor during those dark years as Tasuki had been. You are my best friend, Eiri." Chichiri walked off without waiting for Eiri to reply, not that the blond could. Eiri stared speechless after his friend, his heart pounding more violently than it had in a very long time. That 'something' he'd been feeling had everything to do with Chichiri…


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Ma, Hotohori-sama…" Nuriko whined into the cell phone as he twirled the end of his braid anxiously. "That would mean you wouldn't get here til later tonight." He pouted.

"It can't be helped, Nuri-chan, and what's with you taking up the 'sama' honorific?" Hotohori asked, his voice sounded far away.

Nuriko colored brightly and bit his lower lip. "Um…what sama? It's probably the static, Tori." He pulled the phone away from his ear and made static noises to demonstrated. Then he put the phone back to his ear. "What did you say?"

"Nothing, forget it. Just stay away from the train stations, okay?" Hotohori instructed.

"Oh, Tori, you worry too much. The maniac's been yelling bomb threats for weeks. We haven't seen a single bomb…oh wait, there WAS that one that actually blew up that dog statue, Hachiko, in front of the Shibuya station…um…but never mind…forget I said anything." Nuriko banged his head repeatedly on the only table in the recording room.

"Nuriko." Hotohori's warning sounded very close despite the hundreds of miles separating them.

"Hai, hai, Hotohori-sa… um…no train stations. Hai!" Nuriko grimace when he nearly slipped with the 'sama' thing. Where the hell did THAT come from?

"I missed you." Hotohori's warm voice said suddenly and slow warmth grew in Nuriko's stomach.

"Tori…I missed you, too." He nearly sobbed, he was that happy.

"Be good and I'll see you tonight, okay?"

"Promise? No matter how late?"

"Hai. I love you."

Wahhhh! Nuriko cried then. "I love you too!" He sobbed between sniffles and grabbed the tissues from Sakano who was sniffling himself.

"Baka." Hotohori chided. "Ja!"

"Ja!" Wahhhhh! Nuriko wailed into Sakano's lapel after he hung up and Tasuki rolled his eyes at his braided friend.

"I take it he's driving?" Tasuki asked as he went back to the synthesizer.

"Yeah." Nuriko sighed. "It'll take him forever…but I guess it's better than staying away, ne?" He brightened slightly.

Before Tasuki could reply, Sakano came up to them and cleared his throat. He pushed his glassed up higher on the bridge of his nose nervously and smiled. "Er…Seguchi-san wants us in his office now."

Nuriko frowned and glared at Tasuki. "What have you done now?" He asked his friend.

"Nothing!" Tasuki said indignantly. "Why does it have to be me? What about you? Who the fuck switched the audition demo tape of that new band with the audio effect of a fucking herd of elephants in heat?" Tasuki challenged.

"Anou…THAT was YOU?" Sakano looked at Nuriko, aghast.

Nuriko laughed nervously. "Heh, heh. Er…shouldn't we be going, guys?" He asked and tugged on Tasuki's arm while pushing Sakano ahead of him. "Wouldn't want to make Seguchi-san angry now, do we?"

"Baka." Tasuki muttered under his breath.

When they'd gotten to Tohma's office, they found Ryuuichi lounging casually on one of the armchairs next to Tohma's desk. The blond was sitting behind his desk smiling absently at Ryuuichi, as he seemed lost in thoughts. From the looks on his face, Tasuki guessed that the blonde's thoughts were with a certain brunette rock star.

When they piled into the room, Tohma stood up behind his desk and waved for them to sit down. Ryuuichi smiled brightly and waved cheerily from his seat.

Tasuki and Nuriko sat on one side of the sofa while Sakano went to sit across from them on the loveseat. Tohma moved to the front of his desk and leaned back against it, facing them. He looked worried and THAT didn't bode well. Tohma Seguchi was always composed and he rarely allowed anything but cheerfulness and confidence to show.

"I guess you knew about the threats we've been having recently. We really can't risk public safety so I've decided to postpone Tasuki's concert indefinitely." He looked pointedly at Tasuki, hoping the young man didn't have objections.

Tasuki shrugged. "Fine by me. I'm not too keen on getting blown up myself."

"But the concert is not for another two weeks." Sakano pointed out.

"Yes, but it's better to let the public know of our concern now rather than wait for someone to point it out." Tohma said quietly. "When the culprit is apprehended, then we can be on the move again."

They looked around the room at each other and nodded in consensus.

The door opened softly and everybody turned to the newcomer. It was Chichiri.

Tasuki frowned at the haggard appearance of his lover. Chichiri looked like he hadn't slept in days. From his right, Ryuuichi sat up abruptly and Tasuki knew that the other man saw it as well.

"Sorry." He spoke softly but the tired edge in his voice was evident. He didn't move from the doorway but his gaze went directly to Tasuki.

"If I may interrupt, I need a word with you. It's urgent." He nodded to the rest of the group and went back out.

Tasuki looked for permission from Ryuuichi who had on a small worried frown to Tohma who had on a bigger worried frown. Finally Tohma nodded curtly before glancing sideways at his lover.

Tasuki hurried out the door and found Chichiri leaning heavily against the wall on the opposite side of the hallway. Since Tohma's office had taken up pretty much the whole east wing, no passerby wandered the hallway and the corridor was fairly empty.

Chichiri eyed Tasuki warily as the redhead walked up to him. "Are you alright?" Tasuki asked. "You looked beat." He said as he laid one gentle hand on Chichiri's cheek.

Chichiri tilted his face up and parted his lips invitingly. His eyes seemed unfocused to Tasuki and the younger man worried even more. But those lips…

Tasuki was never good at resisting temptation and he'd hate to disappoint his love. He smiled crookedly and claimed Chichiri's lips eagerly. Chichiri wound his arms around Tasuki's waist and pulled the younger man flush against him. Tasuki moaned and plunged his tongue deeper into Chichiri's mouth as the older man returned his kiss with something akin to desperation. What was wrong with Chichiri?

Tasuki broke the kiss and pressed his forehead against Chichiri's. "I ain't complaining, Chiri, but this is NOT the place to get hot and heavy."

"I know." Chichiri's soft voice said and Tasuki's heart sank even lower.

"Ne, Chiri. Let me take you to your room." Chichiri didn't look like he could stand much longer.

"Hentai." Chichiri teased and smiled weakly.

Tasuki blushed and shook his head. "I was thinking of having you rest, not ravage you. Though that could be arranged if you don't quit looking at me like that." He winked playfully though the concern never left his face.

Chichiri took a deep breath and straightened up. "I'm alright, no da." He smiled and it seemed to Tasuki that the man was indeed stronger.

"Tasuki." Chichiri said softly as he captured the redhead's face between his hands. "There's something I have to do, no da, and…I may be away for awhile. I want to let you know that I do love you, no da." He said almost reluctantly.

It was almost like Chichiri was saying goodbye…for good. Tasuki didn't like it and he liked the 'no da' even less. He was not used to hearing it from Chichiri. Normally it was Ryuuichi who said that.

"Can I help?" Tasuki asked. He did not want to be away from Chichiri now that they'd found each other. He didn't like the tone this whole thing was taking.

Chichiri smiled and caressed Tasuki's cheekbones with his thumbs. He leaned over and kissed Tasuki's lips gently.

"No, Tasuki. This is something I have to do myself, no da." He released Tasuki's face and took one of Tasuki's hands in his. Tasuki felt warm round objects pressed into his hand and looked down confusedly. It was a string of beads, mostly red ones with larger green ones between every five or six red beads. He looked up at Chichiri, not understanding.

"Someone gave me that a long time ago to help me cope with my pain. I want you to take care of it for me…until I can get back to you, no da." Chichiri curled Tasuki's hand over the beads and brought the hand to his heart. He stared straight into Tasuki's confused eyes solemnly. "I've found you once Tasuki, I'll find you again. I promise." He leaned in once again and sealed his promise with a deep, lingering kiss. "I'll find you, no matter how long it takes. Wait for me." He said again when he pulled away.

Tasuki was too stunned to say anything as Chichiri moved from his arms. He stared in desolation as Chichiri began walking slowly away.

"Chiri." He called, desperation clear in his voice.

Chichiri paused but did not look back.

"I'll wait forever, Chiri. I love you." He said to the Chichiri's back. Chichiri nodded and started walking down the corridor again.

"Tasuki! Chichiri!" The door burst open behind Tasuki and Nuriko ran out, his face pale and eyes wide. He looked up and down the corridor and asked, "Where's Chichiri?"

Tasuki turned his head back to where Chichiri was but found the man gone. What the…? He started to run in the direction Chichiri went but Nuriko took a firm grip on his arm and yanked him back towards Tohma's office.

"I know where he is." Nuriko said grimly as he towed the sputtering redhead behind him. "We've seen him on TV. He's on the rooftop of the Toshiba building in Shinjuku."

"What?" Tasuki freed himself and pushed past Nuriko to the television set by the wall. He stared in disbelief when he saw Chichiri talking to a man wearing somekind of weird packages around his body. "What the hell is going on?" He looked at the stunned faces around the room and stopped when he saw Ryuuichi crying. He frowned and turned back to the TV. "I was just talking to him." He muttered almost to himself. "He couldn't have gotten to Shinjuku yet…it's at least an hour away."

"According to the reporter, he's been there at least an hour, Tasuki-kun." Sakano said, his voice trembling with emotions Tasuki couldn't identify. Was it fear?

"But you all saw him here!" Tasuki shouted without turning from the set. "This man is NOT Chiri." He declared stubbornly.

The camera changed and they were now watching the close up scene from the camera on board the helicopter hovering nearby. Tasuki could clearly see Chichiri talking to the man and his heart nearly stopped when he saw what the man was wearing.

"NO!" He shouted and grabbed the side of the TV. NO!

The seedy looking man had explosives strapped to his body and he was talking to Chichiri! What the hell was his love doing?

Tasuki struggled as he felt strong hands pull him off and away from the TV. "He's trying to talk the guy out of blowing up the building, Tas-chan." Nuriko's voice was unsteady and Tasuki knew without turning around that his friend was crying.

"Is he fucking nuts?" Tasuki shouted. "God damn it, Chiri. What the fuck are you doing?"

As they watched the scene, the reporter continued to provide commentary but Tasuki couldn't understand anything they said. All he heard was that they had found out the name of the mysterious man who had just appeared on the roof. It was Houjun Ri.

The close up showed also that the roof was littered with several large containers all contained some kind of explosive. If one container went off, all of them would and that would take most of the building with them. Tasuki scanned the roof and saw in one corner, a group of men and women crouching, some crying and trembling in terror.

No. This is not happening. It couldn't be. All these weeks he had practically ignored all the hoopla around the seemingly empty threats. Now the life of the very man he loved was in the clutch of this feign.

The camera zoomed in closer and to the shock of every one, the terrorist pressed the detonator in his hand. The red digital read out on the man's chest read: 5

NO! Tasuki shook his head in denial. This was NOT happening.

4

Tasuki struggled frantically against Nuriko to no avail. No no no no no…

3

Tasuki's heat pounded so hard he thought it would burst. Chichiri…

2

Tasuki world came to a complete stop and everything disappeared from his vision except that of Chichiri tackling the maniac, throwing both of them off the building. He watched in horror as the two entwined body plunged downward then disappeared in a burst of flames and smoke.

NOOOOOO! He screamed and jumped forward, dragging Nuriko with him as he pounded on the glass surface of the screen.

"NO! God damn it! NO!" He shouted and smashed through the glass with his fist. Nuriko dragged him from the sparks and smoke coming from the gaping hole in the TV and they fell on each other a few feet back.

Tasuki struggled but his sobs robbed him of his strength and he collapsed back on Nuriko who was openly crying.

"He fucking promised!" Tasuki shouted into Nuriko's shoulders and he beat his fists on his friend's chest. The beads were still clutched tightly in his hand.  "He promised to come back! Why? Why did he do it? Why?"

There was no answer. The only sounds in the room were that of Tasuki's sobs and the gentle soothing sounds from Tohma who was comforting the distraught Ryuuichi.

In one side of the room, stood the television as it fizzled and smoked unnoticed…


TBC…


~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 Author's apologies:  Gomen nasai!! *bows deeply*  I know it is so cruel of me to kill Chichiri but I think you'd agree that he needed this to move on.  Please don't be too angry, the next chapter is actually almost done and will be posted very soon, hopefully by next week.  You won't have to wait too long.  And remember…I love happy endings, so… (hint, hint)

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…