TITLE: " Garden of Eden "

AUTHOR: LilHairyEyeball

EMAIL: lilhairyeyeball@allwrongheaded.com

FEEDBACK: Gimme gimme. Just be gentle.

SUMMARY: Alternate Season Four fic, stemming from Something Blue onwards.

SPOILERS: Up through Season 4

RATING: Giving it an R rating, in case I get frisky. Which I tend to do.

DISCLAIMER: Nobody buys me good presents, so I steal other peoples

---

Buffy had spent a good forty-five minutes talking herself into going to Giles' apartment, and was really wishing she's gone with her first instinct to run. Spike had done nothing but look at her, the whole meeting. Looking at her, with his stupid blue eyes, with the watching. Of course, whenever she'd turned to look at him, he quickly turn his head, but she knew damn well what he was up to.

Stupid eyes. That's what he was. Mr. Stupid eyes. All blue and bright, she was dangerously close to launching herself over the couch and clawing them out.

Oops, Giles was talking again, wasn't he? Whatever, she'd get the notes from Willow after class. But this isn't class, is it? So stop focusing on the bleached-blonde pest, and to Watchery pest.

"Buffy? Are you with us? Asks Giles with a slight air of concern.

"I'm fine Giles, just tired. I really didn't sleep well last night." Crap. That comment earned a raised eyebrow from Spike, and a furrowed brow from her watcher. Stupid Englishmen. "There was a.. loose dog? Running around campus? Wouldn't stop barking." Yeah, that's the ticket, Giles has already lost interest, but Spike has now folded his arms across his chest, obviously curious. "Oh c'mon Spike! You know how annoying those little leashed yappers can be." A smirk graces her lips as the line escape. One point for the Slayer, while the Vampire has yet to score.

Crap, she'd said that last part out loud. Stupid Eyes. "Oh, I can score any time I want to love, leashed or not." Now that's a smirk.

"Okay Giles, I'm heading out. I have much hearty studying to do, topped off with a date, for which I plan to look killer." Yea, that last part was directed at Stupid eyes. Does that make her evil? Or just a tease? Oh God, either way she was insane.

"I wouldn't worry there, Goldilocks. You've pretty much got killer written all over you"

With one last scowl, Buffy flounced out of the apartment with Willow in hot pursuit. Giles started to put away the coffee mugs, and Spike fell backwards onto the couch, completely defeated.

---

By the time a bickering Anya and Xander arrived at the apartment, Giles was sure the end of the world was near. It was the only rational reason he could think of, for the simply strange behaviours of the youngsters in his life. He looked to where Spike was apparently binge eating on the last of the Weetabix. Scratch that, the strange behaviours of just about everybody in his life. God, he needed a vacation, and Olivia had promised him a break from the doldrums. He really needed to get away from the Hellmouth for a while.

---

Stuck in the Whelps basement, tied to a bloody chair. Well, wasn't that brilliant. Could his un-life get any more pathetic? Oh, good one Spike. That'll prevent any more thoughts of the Slayer, I'm sure. So damn small and frail, yet filled to the brim with such unearthly power. It's not a surprise really. He's only human. At least, he used to be. He can understand the attraction. Throw in an evening of her tiny backside wiggling against you, and you're set up for some serious dreams. He just wished the dreams would end there. One good wank, and Bobs you're uncle! All done. But no, he was thinking about her when she was awake. Why on earth did the powers have to be so cruel? Wasn't it bad enough he was on a damn "leash" and shacked up with a pizza delivery boy with a serious case of penis envy? This had better pass, and soon. Or else he'd.. well, he's not sure what he'd do. Not sure what he can do at this point.

---

Patrol sucked. That's all. A simple theory that made perfect sense. Buffy really wasn't in the mood for it tonight, but instead of saying no, she was on her way to pick up the pet-project. Why she had to baby-sit Spike was beyond her.

She approached Xander's house to find the vampire sitting on the curb, throwing pebbles across the street. With a sigh, she sat beside him. After a few moments of silence and the boredom of watching Spike pick apart the gravel, she spoke up.

"So, whatcha doing out here?"

"The whelp and the demon bird couldn't wait for you to get here. So they got to shagging, and I got the boot. I am officially the saddest git on the planet," sighed Spike, staring intently at his boots. Buffy could barely suppress a smirk, but she did. She was feeling quite benevolent right now. She must be tired. She stood and dusted off her jacket. "C'mon Spike. Let's watch me kill things. It'll be fun, I swear"

Spike looked up at her, no humour in his face. Bleeding Slayer would be the death of him. Yes, let's put Spikey on display while I kill his kind. I'm sure word won't get to the street that he's aligned himself with the Slayer.

He swiftly stood, grabbing his smokes from his pocket. With a twirl of his lighter, he spun around and headed out to the graveyard with Buffy in hot pursuit. If he was going out, he was going out watching her kill. The only high-point he could think of right now.