Standard Disclaimer: Escaflowne and it's characters don't belong to me. I'm merely borrowing them. Any other characters are from my own imagination. I only write this stuff for fun, I don't make any money off of it, so please don't sue me.
Awakenings
Part Five
It was snowing when she awoke. She had been a bit disoriented by the lack of sunlight streaming in between the gauzy fabric of her bedroom curtains and had gotten up to look outside. It was so peaceful feeling with everything covered in white. It looked as if a blanket had descended on the world, covering up its scars and making it whole again.
She glanced at the clock on the wall; it was indeed late afternoon. She wasn't surprised that she had slept so late into the day because she had stayed up with Gaddes for most of the night. The two of them had parted reluctantly, only returning to the house a little before dawn when the staff would awaken and begin their duties for the day.
Last night had been full of revelations. After Gaddes had told her of his feelings for her she had felt as if her heart were soaring. But nothing had been resolved. They still had Allen to contend with.
How is it possible to feel so happy and so miserable at the same time? Celena wondered to herself with a sigh.
She left the bed and pulled a clean dress out of her wardrobe. It was a dark violet gown which complimented her eyes while offsetting her pale complexion. There were little butterflies stitched into the cuffs of the sleeves and around the neckline, which she had thought odd considering it was a heavy winter gown. But Allen had seemed so happy with his selection, a gift he had given to her after she had recovered from her illness, that she hadn't said anything about it at the time.
She felt guilty for asking Gaddes to wait before saying anything to Allen. She knew that he hated keeping the truth from her brother but she wanted to tell him herself, she just wasn't sure how to go about doing so.
In a moment of frustration she threw the gown on the bed angrily and proceeded to strip off her sleeping gown. Was the rest of her life to be dedicated to pleasing her brother? He was still a bit of a stranger to her. If he wasn't ignoring her completely he was fussing over her like a mother hen. But, he did care for her, and she for him. In the end, she couldn't bear the thought of disappointing him.
She put on a light linen shift before she picked up the dress off of the bed. She pulled the gown over her head and carefully buttoned up the dozen or so delicate little buttons that lined the front of the dress from her waist to her chin. She fretted over the last few; they were under her chin and difficult for her to close without being able to see what she was doing.
There was a light rap on her door. Worried it might be her brother, she braced herself before answering. Gaddes stood there. His eyes softened when they fell upon her. But then his brow wrinkled in concern when he noticed the distressed look marring her features.
"What's wrong?" he asked, stepping into the room towards her.
She backed up a space and fingered the loose buttons at her throat. "Everything and nothing." She threw her hands in the air dramatically. "And to top it off, I can't do up these damn buttons!"
He laughed without meaning to; the situation wasn't funny but he was glad to let out the tension. He stepped closer to her and reached out to do up the buttons for her. Celena lifted her head a little to make it easier for him. She watched him as he stared intently at her throat while he worked the little buttons into their holes. She liked watching him.
"Cursing isn't very lady like," he commented, glancing up into her eyes. She felt herself flush.
"Sorry. Don't know where I picked up such language."
He grinned and planted a quick kiss on her forehead. "You're in a mood today."
She leaned into his body when his arms wrapped around her in a tight embrace. "You were right last night. We have to tell Allen," she whispered. "I don't want to keep this secret. I want to be able to love you without feeling guilty."
There was a sudden sound from the doorway, something crashing to the floor. Celena's head snapped up at the sound and her eyes widened with surprise. Gaddes had a sinking feeling in his stomach.
"Don't turn around. He looks very angry," she whispered but he ignored her and turned to face the doorway as she clung to the back of his shirt with shaking hands.
Allen was there, a spilled tray of food on the floor at his feet. Allen finally spoke, his voice cold. "Celena…go to your room."
Her brow wrinkled in confusion. "I'm already in my room."
He gestured impatiently towards the hallway. "Then go to my room, alright? Just be quick about it before I say something we'll both regret later on."
She was hesitant until Gaddes gave her a little push to start her moving. Allen waited until he heard his bedroom door open and close before continuing.
"How long has this been going on?"
Gaddes sighed. "I really didn't want to tell you like this."
"Or is it that you didn't want to tell me at all? Now answer me: How long have you been using my sister?"
He felt his anger rise at the accusation. "It's not like that! I love Celena."
"For both of your sakes, I hope that's true." He left the room before Gaddes had a chance to say anything more. He was far too angry to listen to reason.
Allen entered his bedroom. Celena was standing by the window looking outside. She turned to him when he called her name.
"Allen. I don't know what to say right now." Tears began to track down her face; she didn't try to hold them back.
He pulled her into his arms and tried to soothe her as he had as a small child when she had been stung by a bee.
"Celena…how far have things gone between the two of you?"
It was then that she made the conscious decision to lie to her brother. If she said that their relationship had gone no further than a few chaste kisses she knew that her brother would send Gaddes away. He might be lost to her forever. But, if she told her brother a lie, if she told Allen that she had been with Gaddes, than there was a chance that he would make them marry. Or not. But it was a chance she was willing to take. She was stalwart in her resolution. She would see this to its end, consequences be damned.
It was quick ceremony. The bride and groom, the minister and two witnesses, Allen and his housekeeper Luce, made up the small group gathered in the sitting room. They declared themselves to each other solemnly as Allen looked on impassively. Celena glanced up at him often but it was hard to tell what he was thinking. Then, it was done. Allen walked from the room without a backward glance and his parting words left her with a hollow feeling.
"I want you both out of my house by nightfall."
She packed only what she needed and that which she couldn't bear to part with. In the end it wasn't much; a few of her more practical gowns along with her old blanket that Allen had given her when she had first come home. She didn't really have much to call her own, after all. Everything belonged to her brother.
"Are you almost ready?"
She turned to face Gaddes. He was standing in her doorway with his own bag slung over his shoulder. She could tell he hadn't packed much either.
He followed her gaze and shrugged. "I don't really have many possessions; bein' in the army and all you don't really need 'em."
"Oh."
He knew this was hard for her; it was hard for him as well but he wasn't the one losing their only family, being turned out of their own home. Gaddes didn't know what to do for her, so he just tried to be himself.
"I'm sorry, Gaddes. I didn't think. I mean, I did think, but I didn't think about what you would want."
"What are you talking about?"
"My brother…I let him believe that…things…had happened." Her face reddened. "That's why he made you marry me. I've ruined things."
"Allen didn't force me, Celena. I want us to be together. I wish the circumstances were different, but that doesn't mean that I don't want to be with you. You got that?"
She nodded but said nothing in return and her expression remained pensive.
He sighed. "Wear an extra cloak; it's still snowing pretty good out there."
Alyssann was making a commotion in the kitchen; Genna could hear her sister from the parlor yelling that their brother was outside making his way up to the house. Genna sighed and walked to the window to see for herself. It was true. She felt a tightening in her chest; something was not right. She knew her brother well enough to realize that he wouldn't have come all the way out here in this weather, and with Celena no less, just for a visit. She pulled away from the window and ran to the front door. Lyssie was already there of course, chattering away in her usual cheery fashion as Gaddes took Celena's cloak off and hung it on the coat rack next to his own jacket. They were both quite wet. Genna made a mental note to hang them on the drying line by the fire.
"What has happened?"
Lyssie stopped her chatter and watched as Gaddes turned to Genna, a tired smile forming on his lips. "Nothin' gets by you, does it, Gen?"
She waited. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, brushing snowflakes onto the floor. "Let us get settled first, then we'll sit down and have a talk."
Gaddes walked past his sisters and up the stairs to the second floor. Celena followed behind him without a word.
"What's goin' on?" Alyssann whispered to her sister once Gaddes and Celena had disappeared up the stairway.
"I don't know, but I'm sure something is wrong." She sighed. "Help me take their coats into the kitchen before the water runs drips onto the floor."
"Is this alright?"
She nodded. It was the room she had shared with Eries on her last visit. It had been his parents' room once, he'd told her. Would he be sharing it with her? What a silly thought. They were married now; of course they would share a bed…wouldn't they?
Celena stood there numbly and watched him as he stripped off his damp shirt and tossed it onto the floor. She swallowed. She had never seen him like this before.
"Celena…you'd better get out of that wet dress." She looked down at herself, but she made no motion to remove the gown. He sighed and stepped close to her. She could feel the heat radiating from his body. Idle thoughts chased themselves around her mind as his hands worked at undoing the rows of buttons down the front of the gown. Why was Gaddes so warm when she still felt as if she were frozen? She lifted her arms as he pulled the dress over her head leaving her standing there in nothing but her shift. His gaze wandered over her form and she shivered in response. He took a blanket from the foot of the bed and wrapped it around her. It was a thick wool one and it felt scratchy against her skin, but at least it was warm.
"Feel better?"
Celena nodded. He seemed satisfied and went to pick up their wet garments off of the floor. "I'll go down to the kitchen to hang these up and get somethin' to eat for us. Sound good?"
"Yes."
"Look, everythin's gonna be alright. Just get some rest and I'll be back in a little while. I think it best that I talk to them alone first."
"I understand."
Alyssann had a fresh kettle of tea ready when Gaddes entered the kitchen. He looked tired, as if he hadn't slept well in days. Genna took the damp garments from him and hung them on the line. Alyssann then motioned for their brother to have a seat. She poured him a cup of the hot liquid before joining him at the table. She wanted to bombard him with questions but she knew Gaddes would talk when he was ready. She didn't have to wait long.
"Celena and I were married this afternoon."
Whatever Alyssann had been expecting him to say, it certainly hadn't been that. She glanced at Genna. Her sister, however, did not appear to be shocked at all. Alyssann stood abruptly nearly upsetting her teacup in the process. "I'm sorry. I don't know what say about this. I—" She turned and fled from the room. Gaddes started to call out to her but she was already gone.
"She'll need some time to get used to the idea," Genna remarked quietly.
"You don't seem surprised, Gen."
"I am…and yet I'm not. I had a feeling, but I had hoped to be wrong about it. What happened?"
He let out a loud sigh and rested his head in his hands. "The inevitable happened." The whole story came pouring out. He felt relieved to be able to unburden himself. "I knew Allen would react this way, that's why I tried to do the right thing and turn her away. But, I couldn't stand seein' her hurtin'. Especially knowin' I was the one responsible."
"You must love her very much."
"I do."
"What about your post?"
"I'll more than likely be reassigned. For now I'm on temporary leave until they decide what to do with me." He paused for a minute. "I've made a mess of things, haven't I?"
Genna reached out to squeeze his hand with her own. "Get some rest, Brother. Things will look better in the morning."
AN: Sorry this took so long to get out. Part of the delay was because of my system crashing and, unfortunately, taking all of my data with it (including most of this chapter). I simultaneously cursed my computer and kicked myself in the arse for not backing up my writing as often as I should. It was actually quite a sight. ^_^ Needless to say I learned something: It's hard to kick your own arse. XDXD
I agonized over this part quite a bit and I'm not sure if everything works. Feedback would be appreciated.
Oh, and also, I lied again. This story will be one more part long. I should be able to wrap up everything by then. *crosses fingers*
