The Ultimate Deception
Summary: Sebastian refuses to let go of Kathryn.
Chapter 13: Haunted
15 Months Later
It never went away.
As Sebastian looked out at the snow that was slowly blanketing the city, it was the one conscience thought that kept drifting in and out of his head. It never went away. He wasn't referring to the weather
or the calculus homework that was lying idly on his desk. Rather he was referring to the cold, empty, hollow feeling that seemed to remain within him where ever he went. It started after her death and
it was still with him well after a year later. Sebastian was starting to think that it never would go away.
He still couldn't say her name and refused to be around anyone who did. This of course made it at first quite difficult to be around certain people namely his parents. No one understood his attitude and grief but then again how could they? Annette had tried in her own way, even insisting she shared the burden of his guilt. Only she didn't get that it wasn't about guilt. Although Sebastian felt that as well it wasn't the cause of his turmoil. It was the ache of not having her with him anymore, the mind numbing pain of having his soul ripped out.
He was aware of how melodramatic it all was. If Kathryn was there with him she would likely be laughing her ass off at him. "Jesus I'm dead, get over it already" she would snicker in her typical bitchy
tone. Then she would smile at him like she had a thousand times before and whisper "but I do miss you." Sebastian had been awaken on more than one occasion by that same fantasy. In his dream it wasn't
that she was necessarily alive it was that she was here with him, like nothing had changed.
However it had. Following that night in the hospital Sebastian went straight home and locked himself in Kathryn's bedroom. He hadn't cried or screamed he just walked amongst her things in a mechanical
fashion trying to figure out what had happened. She had gotten sick he noticed and he saw all her belongings from her suitcases had been thrown all over the room carelessly. Finally as he sat on her bed he had spotted the drugs. Pills, coke, and heroin scattered about the bed and floor. Even then he didn't cry perhaps because it didn't seem real to him.
Then something on the floor had caught his eye. On closer examination Sebastian realized it was a photo of him taken awhile back before the whole mess began. He studied the picture for a moment before absent mindedly flipping it over. On the back in Kathryn's delicate writing it read `My Love'. It was those two words that finally did him in. Sebastian stared at them until his vision began to blur from the
tears that were falling down his face. She loved him, she always had he just never wanted to realize it.
Wiping his face he sprang up from the bed, still clutching the picture and stormed out of the room. He had nowhere to go he was just bent of destruction. Walking into his room he was suddenly hit by a
wave of memories of her. Without a second thought he marched over to his closet and pulled out a nine iron from his golf bag. Clutching the handle he proceeded to charge around the room breaking everything is sight. Lamps, mirrors, tables and anything else he could smash and ruin he did.
It was as he was swinging the club through his glass coffee table that he slipped on the mess that he had made and fell to the floor. Sebastian was crying now, sobbing even and it made him too weak to get back up. Realizing he was still holding the picture he stared at it once more before tarring it up burying his head in his hands. It was then he noticed a particularly sharp piece of glass right near his foot. On instinct he reached for it and only glanced at it a moment before letting it tare into his skin. He slashed one wrist then the second before passing out.
The following morning he awoke with both of his wrists bandaged. Sebastian had no idea how they got that way. He assumed either he had done it and had been too out of it to remember or one of the maids. His father, step mother or Annette never asked him about it. To this day he was the only one who knew about his little suicide attempt.
It wasn't the last time he would consider ending it. In the weeks following Kathryn's death Sebastian walked around like a ghost refusing to acknowledge anyone. At her wake he had gone into his room and proceeded to get drunk until he passed out. He then began blowing off school and Annette and even Blaine who tried to reason with him. Sebastian ignored them all and instead spent his time trying to
slowly kill himself. When his parents demanded an explanation for his actions he ignored them. Then finally they had enough and threatened to throw him out (penniless Tiffani added) if he didn't straighten up.
So he did, not because he was afraid of not having money. Sebastian could care less about his fortune it was the idea that he would no longer be in the house. Every where he looked there were memories of
her and he hated the idea of being separated from them. It was painful but he figured it would be even worse away from them.
Having very little choice Sebastian went back to his old life. He began dating Annette again for no reason other than she was there and willing. It was a strange relationship to say the least. They attended formal events together, studied, went out occasionally and even on a few occasions slept together. To the outside world they were your average couple but only they knew the truth. Their so called relationship was nothing but a shell of what it once was. When Sebastian looked at her it was like he was looking at a stranger. Annette pretended not to notice but she knew what they had was long gone.
So why did she stay with him? Sebastian in truth had no idea. He supposed it was out of love or maybe some misplaced guilt over her part in Kathryn `accident'. Either way it didn't matter much to him. The few times Annette had tried to snap him out of his depression with an argument which he had only participated in half heartedly. Sebastian wasn't completely clueless he knew what he was doing to her
and it wasn't like he didn't care. A good part of him still cared deeply for Annette it was just...she wasn't Kathryn.
With a deep sigh Sebastian snapped out of his thoughts and looked down at the leather bound book in front of him. The new journal he bought shortly after Kathryn's death looked much like the other one he had given to Annette. However unlike the other this journal was more of a tribute to the girl he loved, some might even say a shrine. The pages were full of pictures and every memory Sebastian ever had of her.
Staring back at him was a picture of Kathryn dressed in that white dress that she wore the night they had dinner at his country house. She was laughing at something he said. Bringing his pen to the paper he tried to remember what they were talking about. It came to him in a flash:
"What happened to this girl?"
"I hear she got fat and married a stockbroker"
"Very funny. Is it true?"
"What do you think?"
At the memory Sebastian smiled but it quickly crumbled. He let his head fall into his hands as he reminded himself to get a grip. No amount of blubbering would bring her back. Still it hurt like hell.
"Sebastian are you almost ready?"
He turned at the sound of Annette's soft voice and tried to hide the despair that was evident on his face. "Ready for what?"
Annette was dressed in a simple navy blue dress with her blond hair swept up. "We're having dinner tonight remember? Your parents, my father. We have to meet them at the restaurant in twenty minutes."
"Oh yeah" he muttered trying to remember when he agreed to go.
She sighed, a familiar look of disappointment colored her face. "You forgot."
"Is it absolutely necessary that we go? Can't we do it another night?"
"Sebastian" she said exasperated "it's Christmas eve. This is the only night we have together before I go back to Kansas. We won't see each other again till spring semester starts. I would think you'd want to spend our last night together."
He sighed annoyed that he had to make an effort to be nice. "Yes of course but we still have tomorrow. Why do we have to go out?"
"We promised our parents we would. It's just one night Sebastian." Walking over to his desk she asked "what do you have to do here that's so important anyway?" Just then she noticed his open journal and she frowned at the photo of Kathryn. "Oh, I see"
Sebastian took the journal from her hands and closed it "it's not that..."
"Of course it is don't lie to me." Suddenly she looked up at him with a flash of anger "how long are you going to keep doing this?"
He shrugged "doing what?"
Stepping closer to him Annette said "you have to get on with your life Sebastian. Do you think this is what she would have wanted for you?"
"Oh you suddenly know what she wanted?" He snapped at her. "You don't know shit about any of this Annette so just back off."
Even as he turned her back on her Sebastian knew he had left her stunned and hurt. For a long while she said nothing then finally she spoke in a voice barely a whisper "you might have gotten over me a
long time ago but god help me Sebastian I'm still in love with you. I've stayed with you this past year because I knew you were hurting and I thought in time it was start to lessen. Apparently I was wrong...it's just...I don't want to give up on you yet. But if you keep acting like this...treating me like this...I'll walk away from you. This time for good." There was silence for a moment and he knew it was because she was wiping away her tears. In a stronger voice she pressed on "I'm going to the car. If you don't want to come I'll just tell your parents...I don't know I'll make something up I guess."
As she turned and headed for the door Sebastian knew what he had to do. Turning back around he called out "Annette wait." Gently he touched her arm and pulled her back to him. "I'm sorry; I don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe it's because of the holiday...I don't know. I'll go to dinner."
She gave him a faint smile "good. It won't be so bad I promise."
* * * * * *
"So Sebastian Annette tells me you might be leaving Columbia" Mr. Hardgrove said with just a hint of uneasiness. "Why's that?"
Sebastian was taken by surprise at the question. His father and stepmother had been chatting with his former headmaster about how well Annette was doing this semester in school. However Sebastian
hadn't really been paying attention to the conversation.
Still he was surprised at the question. A few weeks ago he had said to Annette, somewhat off handedly that he might take a year off and go to Europe. She hadn't said anything to him so he figured she hadn't heard him or pretended not to. Either way he never thought she would tell her father about it. Sebastian wasn't sure what his plans were yet, it was just an idea. Glancing at Mr. Hardgrove then back at
Annette who was avoiding his eyes he replied "I was thinking of taking a year off to travel and-
"I don't recall you saying anything about that Sebastian" his father said dabbing his mouth with his cloth napkin.
Sebastian sighed as he glared at Annette "nothing's been decided. I still have months to decide."
"Well personally I think it's a bad idea" Tiffani huffed. "You can vacation during your break. You don't need to take a whole year off." Staring at her step son icily she finished "it's a sign of laziness."
"I don't really care what you thinkpersonally."
In a soft voice Annette piped in "maybe your mother has a point. There's no need to take off the whole year maybe just a semester." Sebastian shook his head at her not sure if he was more upset that she was agreeing with Tiffani or that she was referring to her as his mother.
"Besides Annette can't very well go with you" Mr. Hardgrove noted "she has obligations-
"Which we know is a foreign concept to you Sebastian" Tiffani interrupted.
"Enough" Edward said sternly but calmly. He looked at Tiffani when he said it but it was obviously meant for the whole table. "It's Sebastian's decision that's the end of it. Now who's up for dessert?"
The idle chatter once again resumed with Tiffani leading the discussion about her latest charity event. Sighing Sebastian looked around the elegant restaurant desperately searching for an escape. He never should have agreed to this dinner. He knew it would just lead to another round of lets nit pick Sebastian's life. Maybe he should just
Sebastian lost his train of thought when something or rather someone caught his eye. Looking out the restaurants large glass window he noticed a girl standing on the other side looking in at him. With her
sleek black hair, green eyes and flawless skin she looked achingly familiar. His heart stopped as his eyes locked with hers. It was Kathryn.
It was her, he knew it. Who else would look at him like that? Desire, mixed with anger, mixed with love. She wrapped her black coat around herself as she gave him a small smile. After a moment Sebastian began to regain the feeling in his legs and immediately sprang up from his seat and ran out of the restaurant ignoring the bewildered looks he received from his dinner companions.
"Kathryn!" he called out but was met with only cold air. She was gone. Still he walked up and down the street looking for her calling out her name. He had scene her, it wasn't just a figment of his imagination. Still if it was her she was gone. Once more he called out "Kathryn"
"She's not hear Sebastian"
He turned around to find Annette standing a few feet away wrapped in her shawl with a defeated look on her face. Sebastian stalked up to her and said "she was here."
"No she wasn't" she told him shaking her head.
"Yes she was. I saw her!" he yelled "I saw her through the window."
Annette's features wrinkled in concern as she approached him and gently touched his arm. "Sebastian you didn't see her. Kathryn is dead. I know you want to believe-
"Oh save it" he yelled as he flung her arm off of him. "I know what I saw and if you don't believe me fine! Just go back into daddy and leave me alone."
"That's it!" she yelled losing the softness in her voice. Sebastian spun around surprised by her tone of voice. He had on occasion scene Annette angry but never like this. "I have had it! She's dead Sebastian, DEAD! No matter how much you loved her won't come back. You can spend the rest of your life mourning her but it won't make a difference. So just-
"Just what, get over it? Who cares its old news? Is that what you mean?"
She glared at him "you know that's not what I meant. You need to let go of her Sebastian because I can't keep doing this."
He shrugged "doing what?"
"Chasing you out into the cold every time you `see her'. I'm sick of canceling things and holding off on my own plans because you're not really to move on yet."
"I never asked you to do that. I never asked you to stay."
"No you didn't" she said sadly "and that's the point. I'm sick of coming in second place to a ghost. It's a year later and you still refuse to let go of her and let me in. Well that ends now."
"What do you mean?"
"I want you to make a choice right now. It's either me or her. You can stay out here by yourself chasing something that you can never have or you can come back into the restaurant with me and put her in the past where she belongs. What's it going to be?"
Watching Annette he knew she was trying to be brave and act like it didn't matter what he decided. However he saw the fear and hurt behind her eyes and knew he wouldn't not be able to keep treating her like this for much longer. Deep down Sebastian knew she was right. Kathryn was dead and she wasn't coming back no matter how much he wanted to believe that woman he saw was her. He knew he would never fully let go of Kathryn but he could at least make an effort with Annette.
Looking down the street one more time he turned to her and took her hand. "Let's go in."
* * * * * *
That night was the first time in well over a year that Sebastian slept through the night. He still dreamed of her but it wasn't the chaotic nightmares he usually had. Still as his eyes began to flutter open he remembered his promise to Annette that he would try his hardest to let Kathryn go.
He was considering calling Annette and asking her to breakfast. It was as he reached for the phone beside his bed that Sebastian realized he wasn't alone. Immediately he sat up in surprise getting ready to tell whoever it was to leave. However his breath caught when he saw her. Sitting on his desk, only a few feet away was Kathryn.
Sebastian was nearly positive he was dreaming but his hands were shaking so badly and his heart felt like it was about to beat out of his chest that he knew it wasn't. Finally he found his voice and whispered "Kathryn."
Slowly she got up from the desk and walked towards him. She sat down beside him and let her very much alive hand rest on his as she whispered "it's me."
- to be continued (Please Review)
Summary: Sebastian refuses to let go of Kathryn.
Chapter 13: Haunted
15 Months Later
It never went away.
As Sebastian looked out at the snow that was slowly blanketing the city, it was the one conscience thought that kept drifting in and out of his head. It never went away. He wasn't referring to the weather
or the calculus homework that was lying idly on his desk. Rather he was referring to the cold, empty, hollow feeling that seemed to remain within him where ever he went. It started after her death and
it was still with him well after a year later. Sebastian was starting to think that it never would go away.
He still couldn't say her name and refused to be around anyone who did. This of course made it at first quite difficult to be around certain people namely his parents. No one understood his attitude and grief but then again how could they? Annette had tried in her own way, even insisting she shared the burden of his guilt. Only she didn't get that it wasn't about guilt. Although Sebastian felt that as well it wasn't the cause of his turmoil. It was the ache of not having her with him anymore, the mind numbing pain of having his soul ripped out.
He was aware of how melodramatic it all was. If Kathryn was there with him she would likely be laughing her ass off at him. "Jesus I'm dead, get over it already" she would snicker in her typical bitchy
tone. Then she would smile at him like she had a thousand times before and whisper "but I do miss you." Sebastian had been awaken on more than one occasion by that same fantasy. In his dream it wasn't
that she was necessarily alive it was that she was here with him, like nothing had changed.
However it had. Following that night in the hospital Sebastian went straight home and locked himself in Kathryn's bedroom. He hadn't cried or screamed he just walked amongst her things in a mechanical
fashion trying to figure out what had happened. She had gotten sick he noticed and he saw all her belongings from her suitcases had been thrown all over the room carelessly. Finally as he sat on her bed he had spotted the drugs. Pills, coke, and heroin scattered about the bed and floor. Even then he didn't cry perhaps because it didn't seem real to him.
Then something on the floor had caught his eye. On closer examination Sebastian realized it was a photo of him taken awhile back before the whole mess began. He studied the picture for a moment before absent mindedly flipping it over. On the back in Kathryn's delicate writing it read `My Love'. It was those two words that finally did him in. Sebastian stared at them until his vision began to blur from the
tears that were falling down his face. She loved him, she always had he just never wanted to realize it.
Wiping his face he sprang up from the bed, still clutching the picture and stormed out of the room. He had nowhere to go he was just bent of destruction. Walking into his room he was suddenly hit by a
wave of memories of her. Without a second thought he marched over to his closet and pulled out a nine iron from his golf bag. Clutching the handle he proceeded to charge around the room breaking everything is sight. Lamps, mirrors, tables and anything else he could smash and ruin he did.
It was as he was swinging the club through his glass coffee table that he slipped on the mess that he had made and fell to the floor. Sebastian was crying now, sobbing even and it made him too weak to get back up. Realizing he was still holding the picture he stared at it once more before tarring it up burying his head in his hands. It was then he noticed a particularly sharp piece of glass right near his foot. On instinct he reached for it and only glanced at it a moment before letting it tare into his skin. He slashed one wrist then the second before passing out.
The following morning he awoke with both of his wrists bandaged. Sebastian had no idea how they got that way. He assumed either he had done it and had been too out of it to remember or one of the maids. His father, step mother or Annette never asked him about it. To this day he was the only one who knew about his little suicide attempt.
It wasn't the last time he would consider ending it. In the weeks following Kathryn's death Sebastian walked around like a ghost refusing to acknowledge anyone. At her wake he had gone into his room and proceeded to get drunk until he passed out. He then began blowing off school and Annette and even Blaine who tried to reason with him. Sebastian ignored them all and instead spent his time trying to
slowly kill himself. When his parents demanded an explanation for his actions he ignored them. Then finally they had enough and threatened to throw him out (penniless Tiffani added) if he didn't straighten up.
So he did, not because he was afraid of not having money. Sebastian could care less about his fortune it was the idea that he would no longer be in the house. Every where he looked there were memories of
her and he hated the idea of being separated from them. It was painful but he figured it would be even worse away from them.
Having very little choice Sebastian went back to his old life. He began dating Annette again for no reason other than she was there and willing. It was a strange relationship to say the least. They attended formal events together, studied, went out occasionally and even on a few occasions slept together. To the outside world they were your average couple but only they knew the truth. Their so called relationship was nothing but a shell of what it once was. When Sebastian looked at her it was like he was looking at a stranger. Annette pretended not to notice but she knew what they had was long gone.
So why did she stay with him? Sebastian in truth had no idea. He supposed it was out of love or maybe some misplaced guilt over her part in Kathryn `accident'. Either way it didn't matter much to him. The few times Annette had tried to snap him out of his depression with an argument which he had only participated in half heartedly. Sebastian wasn't completely clueless he knew what he was doing to her
and it wasn't like he didn't care. A good part of him still cared deeply for Annette it was just...she wasn't Kathryn.
With a deep sigh Sebastian snapped out of his thoughts and looked down at the leather bound book in front of him. The new journal he bought shortly after Kathryn's death looked much like the other one he had given to Annette. However unlike the other this journal was more of a tribute to the girl he loved, some might even say a shrine. The pages were full of pictures and every memory Sebastian ever had of her.
Staring back at him was a picture of Kathryn dressed in that white dress that she wore the night they had dinner at his country house. She was laughing at something he said. Bringing his pen to the paper he tried to remember what they were talking about. It came to him in a flash:
"What happened to this girl?"
"I hear she got fat and married a stockbroker"
"Very funny. Is it true?"
"What do you think?"
At the memory Sebastian smiled but it quickly crumbled. He let his head fall into his hands as he reminded himself to get a grip. No amount of blubbering would bring her back. Still it hurt like hell.
"Sebastian are you almost ready?"
He turned at the sound of Annette's soft voice and tried to hide the despair that was evident on his face. "Ready for what?"
Annette was dressed in a simple navy blue dress with her blond hair swept up. "We're having dinner tonight remember? Your parents, my father. We have to meet them at the restaurant in twenty minutes."
"Oh yeah" he muttered trying to remember when he agreed to go.
She sighed, a familiar look of disappointment colored her face. "You forgot."
"Is it absolutely necessary that we go? Can't we do it another night?"
"Sebastian" she said exasperated "it's Christmas eve. This is the only night we have together before I go back to Kansas. We won't see each other again till spring semester starts. I would think you'd want to spend our last night together."
He sighed annoyed that he had to make an effort to be nice. "Yes of course but we still have tomorrow. Why do we have to go out?"
"We promised our parents we would. It's just one night Sebastian." Walking over to his desk she asked "what do you have to do here that's so important anyway?" Just then she noticed his open journal and she frowned at the photo of Kathryn. "Oh, I see"
Sebastian took the journal from her hands and closed it "it's not that..."
"Of course it is don't lie to me." Suddenly she looked up at him with a flash of anger "how long are you going to keep doing this?"
He shrugged "doing what?"
Stepping closer to him Annette said "you have to get on with your life Sebastian. Do you think this is what she would have wanted for you?"
"Oh you suddenly know what she wanted?" He snapped at her. "You don't know shit about any of this Annette so just back off."
Even as he turned her back on her Sebastian knew he had left her stunned and hurt. For a long while she said nothing then finally she spoke in a voice barely a whisper "you might have gotten over me a
long time ago but god help me Sebastian I'm still in love with you. I've stayed with you this past year because I knew you were hurting and I thought in time it was start to lessen. Apparently I was wrong...it's just...I don't want to give up on you yet. But if you keep acting like this...treating me like this...I'll walk away from you. This time for good." There was silence for a moment and he knew it was because she was wiping away her tears. In a stronger voice she pressed on "I'm going to the car. If you don't want to come I'll just tell your parents...I don't know I'll make something up I guess."
As she turned and headed for the door Sebastian knew what he had to do. Turning back around he called out "Annette wait." Gently he touched her arm and pulled her back to him. "I'm sorry; I don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe it's because of the holiday...I don't know. I'll go to dinner."
She gave him a faint smile "good. It won't be so bad I promise."
* * * * * *
"So Sebastian Annette tells me you might be leaving Columbia" Mr. Hardgrove said with just a hint of uneasiness. "Why's that?"
Sebastian was taken by surprise at the question. His father and stepmother had been chatting with his former headmaster about how well Annette was doing this semester in school. However Sebastian
hadn't really been paying attention to the conversation.
Still he was surprised at the question. A few weeks ago he had said to Annette, somewhat off handedly that he might take a year off and go to Europe. She hadn't said anything to him so he figured she hadn't heard him or pretended not to. Either way he never thought she would tell her father about it. Sebastian wasn't sure what his plans were yet, it was just an idea. Glancing at Mr. Hardgrove then back at
Annette who was avoiding his eyes he replied "I was thinking of taking a year off to travel and-
"I don't recall you saying anything about that Sebastian" his father said dabbing his mouth with his cloth napkin.
Sebastian sighed as he glared at Annette "nothing's been decided. I still have months to decide."
"Well personally I think it's a bad idea" Tiffani huffed. "You can vacation during your break. You don't need to take a whole year off." Staring at her step son icily she finished "it's a sign of laziness."
"I don't really care what you thinkpersonally."
In a soft voice Annette piped in "maybe your mother has a point. There's no need to take off the whole year maybe just a semester." Sebastian shook his head at her not sure if he was more upset that she was agreeing with Tiffani or that she was referring to her as his mother.
"Besides Annette can't very well go with you" Mr. Hardgrove noted "she has obligations-
"Which we know is a foreign concept to you Sebastian" Tiffani interrupted.
"Enough" Edward said sternly but calmly. He looked at Tiffani when he said it but it was obviously meant for the whole table. "It's Sebastian's decision that's the end of it. Now who's up for dessert?"
The idle chatter once again resumed with Tiffani leading the discussion about her latest charity event. Sighing Sebastian looked around the elegant restaurant desperately searching for an escape. He never should have agreed to this dinner. He knew it would just lead to another round of lets nit pick Sebastian's life. Maybe he should just
Sebastian lost his train of thought when something or rather someone caught his eye. Looking out the restaurants large glass window he noticed a girl standing on the other side looking in at him. With her
sleek black hair, green eyes and flawless skin she looked achingly familiar. His heart stopped as his eyes locked with hers. It was Kathryn.
It was her, he knew it. Who else would look at him like that? Desire, mixed with anger, mixed with love. She wrapped her black coat around herself as she gave him a small smile. After a moment Sebastian began to regain the feeling in his legs and immediately sprang up from his seat and ran out of the restaurant ignoring the bewildered looks he received from his dinner companions.
"Kathryn!" he called out but was met with only cold air. She was gone. Still he walked up and down the street looking for her calling out her name. He had scene her, it wasn't just a figment of his imagination. Still if it was her she was gone. Once more he called out "Kathryn"
"She's not hear Sebastian"
He turned around to find Annette standing a few feet away wrapped in her shawl with a defeated look on her face. Sebastian stalked up to her and said "she was here."
"No she wasn't" she told him shaking her head.
"Yes she was. I saw her!" he yelled "I saw her through the window."
Annette's features wrinkled in concern as she approached him and gently touched his arm. "Sebastian you didn't see her. Kathryn is dead. I know you want to believe-
"Oh save it" he yelled as he flung her arm off of him. "I know what I saw and if you don't believe me fine! Just go back into daddy and leave me alone."
"That's it!" she yelled losing the softness in her voice. Sebastian spun around surprised by her tone of voice. He had on occasion scene Annette angry but never like this. "I have had it! She's dead Sebastian, DEAD! No matter how much you loved her won't come back. You can spend the rest of your life mourning her but it won't make a difference. So just-
"Just what, get over it? Who cares its old news? Is that what you mean?"
She glared at him "you know that's not what I meant. You need to let go of her Sebastian because I can't keep doing this."
He shrugged "doing what?"
"Chasing you out into the cold every time you `see her'. I'm sick of canceling things and holding off on my own plans because you're not really to move on yet."
"I never asked you to do that. I never asked you to stay."
"No you didn't" she said sadly "and that's the point. I'm sick of coming in second place to a ghost. It's a year later and you still refuse to let go of her and let me in. Well that ends now."
"What do you mean?"
"I want you to make a choice right now. It's either me or her. You can stay out here by yourself chasing something that you can never have or you can come back into the restaurant with me and put her in the past where she belongs. What's it going to be?"
Watching Annette he knew she was trying to be brave and act like it didn't matter what he decided. However he saw the fear and hurt behind her eyes and knew he wouldn't not be able to keep treating her like this for much longer. Deep down Sebastian knew she was right. Kathryn was dead and she wasn't coming back no matter how much he wanted to believe that woman he saw was her. He knew he would never fully let go of Kathryn but he could at least make an effort with Annette.
Looking down the street one more time he turned to her and took her hand. "Let's go in."
* * * * * *
That night was the first time in well over a year that Sebastian slept through the night. He still dreamed of her but it wasn't the chaotic nightmares he usually had. Still as his eyes began to flutter open he remembered his promise to Annette that he would try his hardest to let Kathryn go.
He was considering calling Annette and asking her to breakfast. It was as he reached for the phone beside his bed that Sebastian realized he wasn't alone. Immediately he sat up in surprise getting ready to tell whoever it was to leave. However his breath caught when he saw her. Sitting on his desk, only a few feet away was Kathryn.
Sebastian was nearly positive he was dreaming but his hands were shaking so badly and his heart felt like it was about to beat out of his chest that he knew it wasn't. Finally he found his voice and whispered "Kathryn."
Slowly she got up from the desk and walked towards him. She sat down beside him and let her very much alive hand rest on his as she whispered "it's me."
- to be continued (Please Review)
