Graffiti: Ano. . . you think Hikki provides enough 'evilism' already? *points index fingers together cutely* Mou, I modeled Hikki after myself actually. . . wonder what does that means? _ Don't worry, the cake is quite happy in cake heaven. It has been reunited with its parents; an Instant-Cake-Mix box and a carton of milk.

Rinny-chan: Aha, arigato! Yes, I think I'll definitely introduce some evilism (besides Hikaru) into the story! Poor Kyo!

Literary Eagle: Arigato also! Thanks for answering my question!

Sakusha-san: My muse. . . do you hate me? *sniff* Please don't!

Kaori-chan: Wow! You're a well of information! *bows* Thank you.

NekoMoon-Chan, Lil Yaoi Kitten, Ice-Phoenix: HON-TO-NI A-RI-GA-TO!

A/N: Ah, finally, the third chapter. . . you have no idea of the torment I had to go through this weekend. See, I conveniently do not have a computer at home (it being in my dorm room) so there I was, vegetating away. . .unable to type anything. . .I had a particularly angsty time (concerning a boy. When is it NOT about a boy?) so I was DYING to get back to Kyo and Taka but, I had to wait till I get back to my dorm. . . sigh. The pain.

So as you'd probably guess by now; yes, this chapter is a bit angstifying. With a bit of fluff, no worries. ^ ^ Ah yes, I think the evil will come up soon. Mmhmm, yup. After all, it'll give me a perfect excuse to start a new arc for Kyo & Taka (oh, I already have ideas swimming around for that one. . . I'm talking MAJOR angst and torture here!) Oh yeah, after much pounding of poor head against wall, I've finally managed to pick a bishounen that closely resembles Kyo. It's *drum roll* Sakurazuka Seishirou! Actually, the 18 year old. Not the older one of course. Oh, and a more pleasant looking one. Skip the evil aura/smirk part. : P

Warning: Angst. Fluff. Angst. Sigh.

Disclaimer: All OCs belong to me. YnM to Matsushita Youko and 'The Raven' is Poe's.

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CHAPTER 3: 'Only this, and nothing more'

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He came home to an empty apartment.

As Kyo toed off his shoes at the entrance, he flipped on the light switch and warm, cozy orange glow permeated the apartment, lending soft highlights to the prints hanging on the wall and the afghan thrown over the couch. He felt, as always, that familiar pang of regret and sadness.

Regret and sadness that every time he comes home, there would be no call of 'Tadaima!' from him, nor an answering 'Okaeri nasai!' from a loved one. No one to greet him at the door, no one to ask him how his day went, no one for him to share dinner with and as the night deepened, no one for him to relax on the couch with, perhaps watching a favourite program on the tv together.

He took off his jacket, hanging it behind his bedroom door and almost absently, loosened his tie and grabbed a can of coke from the fridge. He ignored the bottle of 'Freshly Pressed!' orange juice waiting just inside the door. Despite his obvious 'bachelorhood', his fridge was always well- stocked with appropriately healthy food, courtesy of Hikaru. If it wasn't for her, Kyo might have ended up having take-out every night. As it was, he felt obliged to at least cook some semblance of dinner for himself, in return for all the trouble Hikki took. For that. he was thankful that cooking was one of his strong points. Kyo popped the cold can open, taking a small sip and wincing slightly as the cool, gassy liquid burned his throat.

He let his eyes travel slowly over the place he called 'home' (his mouth quirked in a small twist of irony at the 'h' word). Kyo's apartment was quite large, considering he was living by himself. The front door opened to a spacious living room, sided by a balcony overlooking the cityscape and a modest home entertainment center was the focal point of the room. The kitchen was off to the other side of the living room and a corridor branching off lead to the bedroom. The whole apartment was decorated in shades of white, beige and chocolate brown; tasteful, restrained. He wandered over to the sliding doors, opening it and stepping out onto the balcony of his fifth floor apartment.

A brisk wind was blowing tonight, chilling him even more and he took another sip of his coke. His hair dancing in the wind, he let his bangs fall into his eyes, obscuring his vision as he stared unseeingly at the panorama of the town laid out before him like a carpet of gleaming stars fallen to the earth. It wasn't unusual for him to come home this late, usually due to soccer practice, drama rehearsals, or whatever it is that somebody always managed to get him involved in with his willing participation. He never minded the time taken in helping others; in a way, he was glad for it. It gave him that less time to spend at home all alone.

Tonight. . . tonight it was different. Somehow, the wind felt colder, the air more silent, and the apartment lonelier than before and he wondered why. The reason he came home so late today was that he had been so caught up talking with the new sensei, Matsumada Takashi. At first, it was merely the chocolate cake, then the tea, and as time flew, they had lunch with Hikaru and afterwards, he had helped the sensei get the infirmary in order. The cleaning and straightening up hadn't taken much time, in fact, they had spent most of it just relaxing on the infirmary's couch and had talked for hours.

/Fire. Why must it always be fire?/

Kyo had never met anyone who could put him at ease so quickly and naturally besides Hikki and Ken. In a way, the sensei was better at it than the both of them, the two people he had known for most of his high school life. How was it possible? Kyo took another sip as he thought it over. The sensei was a great listener. He had listened without bias or judgment or even that condescending attitude most adults tend to show when talking with someone younger and Kyo found himself talking about things he never expected to. Like his breakup with Nanako. He had never really spoke about it to Hikaru before even so it was with some surprise that Kyo realized he was actually telling the sensei everything.

Like how it had broke his heart seeing Nanako with Tetsu. How he thought that Nanako could have been the one. . . .how, in the deepest part of his heart, he never was actually surprised that they broke up. Takashi had raised a fine eyebrow at the contradiction and Kyo assured him that he hadn't been looking for an excuse to break up, instead, it just did not come as a surprise to him that he would lose Nanako. He was always losing the people he loved. (That was the one part he did not say out loud though).

And, this was also the one thing he never told Hikaru or Ken. . . he felt that it was his fault that he and Nanako had broken up. . .maybe he hadn't given her the proper care and attention that she deserved. . .maybe he didn't love her enough. . . maybe. . .

"That's total bull," Takashi-san had said bluntly.

Kyo raised an eyebrow enquiringly.

"From what you told me, you could have given her the world and she'd still cheat on you. She's been seeing this Tetsu guy for what. . . 2 months at least? To me, it seems that this Nanako was the one who screwed up. When you find someone you love, there's no hesitation, no fooling around, no 'what-ifs'. You just know that this is it. And you'd never let go."

The words played over and over in his mind as he sank back on his bed. He didn't bother pulling off the covers but just stared at the ceiling, his arms pillowing his head. But it wasn't just the sensei's words that were running through his mind. . . there were other things. . .

/Fire burned as fire burns. What was there left for him to do?/

Like the way the sensei laughed; a pure, clear sound. Full of genuine mirth and amusement. Not something forced for the sake of it, like most people do. It had made him laugh in response too. Or the way the light fell across his face, softening some angles, highlighting others. And then there was the way the sensei's hair fell into his eyes, that burnished auburn that made him itch to just reach out and brush it softly back. . . and the way the sensei said his name. . . a gentle call. . .nearly sensuous the way his name formed on those lips he was so fascinated with ever since he came face to face with the sensei. . .

Kyo blinked.

"Right, I'm definitely losing it."

His voice rang out in the empty room, echoing off the walls to resound in his ears, mocking him with the sound of his own voice and only his own voice.

It was around midnight before he finally felt sleep stealing in to claim him. Darkness and sweet oblivion was gently drawn over him and he sank gratefully into that soundless void. As he let himself float away, a smiling face surfaced in his fading consciousness. A face with twinkling hazel-green eyes and autumn colored hair.

Kyo felt a smile stealing in as he drifted away.

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Autumn marched slowly and sedately. The winds grew colder and the last of the maple leaves fell from skeletal branches to float away, uncaring. The sky was a stormy gray most of the days but the people walking beneath like so many ants hardly gave it a glance. Save for the occasional look up and a harried curse muttered for the plunging temperatures and unfinished Christmas shopping still weighing down their pockets.

School was still school. Classes were still going on save for the outdoor activities no longer played. Instead, high-spirited yells and laughter could be heard ringing to the rafters in the gym and classes as rambunctious, hot-blooded teenagers tried to siphon off their excess energy from having spent the whole morning cooped up in boring classrooms. One classroom, in particular, was conspicuously lacking in something today. Who was missing from the festive cheer of bored teenagers high on hormones and misspent youth?

"Ne, Kanna?" a nondescript girl perched herself on the teacher's desk and fixed nondescript colored eyes on another nondescript looking girl.

Kanna closed the history book she had been trying to read despite the controlled mayhem going on around her and sighed, finally giving up. Who was she kidding when she tried to study during break?

"What?"

The girl still sat perched like some oversized green bird and now swung her legs back and forth, bumping her heels gently against the wooden skirt of the desk and chewed on a lock of hair thoughtfully. "Have you ever wondered where Kyo and Hikaru go, every day during their break and free time? I hardly ever see them around anymore for more than a few weeks already."

Kanna smiled and shook her head in resignation. "Haven't you heard? They've been getting really close with that new doctor. That's where they're hanging out nowadays; in the infirmary. You can hardly pry those three apart, especially Kyo and the doctor."

Several other girls had drifted over during the explanation and they nodded their heads in confirmation. All wore looks of tragic disappointment and woe on their young faces.

"It's true," one of them spoke up. "It used to be that we at least have break and free periods to stalk Kyo but now. . ." the girl threw up her hands in tragic despair.

"So true! What will we do now that the love of our lives have been so cruelly taken away from us?"

"I heard the junior girls are starting to get a little desperate in trying to get Kyo to notice them, now that he hardly ever spends his time outside of the infirmary."

The as yet still unnamed girl sitting on the desk wore a look of thoughtful contemplation on her face. "What if," she started slowly, "we pretend that we're sick or something? That way, we can get in to see Kyo AND the doctor. He's not bad looking himself after all. . ." she trailed off at the pitying expressions her peers had.

"It's no use. A lot of the girls had tried it. The sensei can tell straight off if you're faking and he gives you the most disgusting medicines he can make and refuses to give you an MC." Sigh. "He's just too good."

A heavy silence lay on the group; their own version of the stormy clouds gathering outside and slowly, like creeping fingers, tendrils of gloom and misery twined themselves around and beyond, till even the most boisterous in the class could not help but notice the sudden melancholy.

From way at the back of the classroom, a nondescript boy spoke up, breaking the mortuary-like wretchedness. "What's wrong?"

A chorus of female voices answered him. "Kyo."

A collective sigh.

"And the sensei."

Another collective sigh.

Outside, the clouds bubbled and roiled in titanic agitation and fury. Lightning forked the sky and thunder rattled the heavens and windows alike. From a single, solitary lonesome, to several adventurous ice cold drops, a sheeting rain fell from the angry sky, shedding even more cold and winter dreariness.

That nondescript girl spoke up again, her voice hushed in the righteous drumming and fury of the rain. "Ne, do you think they're gay?"

In answer, several books were surprised to find themselves suddenly whirring through the air in dead on target to a panicking girl who quickly, wisely, scuttled under the desk for protection.

The whole class answered her.

"Don't you DARE mention that again!"

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Once upon a midnight dreary

While I pondered, weak and weary

Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore-

While I nodded, nearly napping

"What's that you're reading, Kyo-chan?"

Sky-blue eyes tore themselves away from those hypnotic words to stare into equally hypnotic hazel-green orbs, flecked with gold. A smile curved his lips and he answered easily, still in the pull of the poem and beautiful green eyes.

"It's by Edgar Allan Poe, 'The Raven'. It's my favourite poem of all."

"May I?" Long, clever fingers were held out in inquiry and Kyo readily gave up the slim, dusty green volume he had picked up earlier from the library. He really didn't know what possessed him to borrow it in the first place. True, it was one of his favourites. . . but Kyo wondered. . . .

"Eagerly I wished the morrow; --vainly I had sought to borrow

From my books surcease of sorrow-- sorrow for the lost Lenore-

For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore-

Nameless here for evermore."

The sensei had beautiful pronunciation, his English flawless and Kyo smiled in appreciation. Kyo was hardly surprised at Takashi's adeptness with the language. It seemed as though the sensei could do anything. He was just one of those people that excelled in whatever they do; be it sports or academics. Kyo ought to know; just last Sunday the sensei had trashed him in a game of one-on-one basketball.

(Kyo still refused to admit, even to himself, that part of the reason why he lost so badly was that he had been too distracted by the sight of the sensei in a T-shirt and shorts.)

"Your English is really good," Kyo offered.

Takashi just shook his head in consternation, ignoring the praise. "It is a great poem, I have to give you that. But why on earth are you reading something like 'The Raven' on a day like this of all days?"

Outside the windows, the rolled up blinds showed a sky still pouring heavily, lightning and thunder thrown around every few seconds for added measure. Okay, he knew why he borrowed that particular book, Kyo thought distractedly; he was a sucker for punishment.

Kyo had been feeling rather. . . odd, lately. To be more precise, ever since Takashi came into their lives. True to his earlier feelings, Takashi- san ("How many times do I have to tell you? It's just Takashi! TA-KA-SHI!") had quickly become one of the few people Kyo had let close to him with no regrets whatsoever. In fact, Kyo was a bit alarmed to discover, Takashi was starting to become nearly a good and close friend as Hikki, perhaps, even closer. While Hikki had the dubious (to Kyo at least) honor of having known him longer, Takashi had that intuitive gut instinct of knowing precisely what Kyo was feeling and what is it exactly that made him tick.

Thankfully, Kyo seemed to be doing it to Takashi also. The sensei had remarked more than once that he had never met anyone who could understand him so well in such a short time. Kyo had echoed his thoughts.

But it wasn't that instant chemistry that threw Kyo off-balance. It was that OTHER chemistry that occurred ever since he had laid eyes on Takashi. The kind of chemistry that made him blush. The kind of chemistry that Hikaru had been trying to stir up in him the past year with other girls (but had failed miserably). The kind of chemistry that made him think of. . . . stuff.

Strangely, Kyo thought he would have become repulsed by such reaction. Surely it wasn't the kind of thing you should feel for your own school doctor, right? He had been a pure-blooded male ever since he was born, why should he change now? All because of one guy?

SO WHY OH WHY DID HE FEEL THIS WAY? WHY CAN'T HE STOP THINKING ABOUT HOW SOFT TAKASHI'S LIPS LOOK AND HOW HE WOULD LOVE TO TEST IT OUT HIMSELF THAT APPARENT SOFTNESS??? WHY, DAMMIT??!!

Why wasn't he repulsed? Why didn't he find some lame-ass excuse to spend less time with the sensei? Why, instead of doing just that, he finds himself making ANY excuses to spend time with Takashi? Why, in the name of all the deities in heaven, did he actually love being with Takashi? Why, was the thought of spending even a day not seeing the auburn-haired doctor drove him insane?

"Kyo?"

With a start, Kyo pulled himself back from that astral plane that everyone goes to when having one-sided conversations/arguments and shook his head. "I thought it was rather fitting for the occasion."

"Oh? What occasion is that?"

"Winter blues."

"It's not winter yet."

"Pre-winter blues then."

Takashi rolled his eyes in exasperation and sank deeper into the couch they had been sharing in the infirmary. "Are you angsting?"

"What on earth would I be angsting about?" Kyo demanded mildly.

"Oh, I don't know," Takashi shrugged. "You never told me."

"Then I obviously have nothing to be angsting about. Is there such a word as 'angsting', in the first place?"

"You're changing the subject."

"I wasn't. I was asking a valid question."

"Was to."

"Wasn't."

"Was to."

"Wasn't."

Their intelligent, mind-stimulating argument of clever repertoire was cut short by someone knocking on the door. At Takashi's "Come in!", the door slid open to reveal a grinning face topped by a head of curly brown hair.

"Hey, Kyo. Sensei." The head nodded in greeting. It was Yamazaki, captain of the soccer team.

"What's up, Yamazaki?"

"Good news, the finals isn't getting called off. They say the weather will hold out after all. It'll happen next week so practice is going to be doubled starting from today. You okay with that?"

Kyo waved a hand lazily in response, a grin splitting his face. "Hai. Drama rehearsals are postponed anyway until after the new year, some problems with the script, so it'll be fine."

"Cool. So I'll see you at 5 okay?"

Kyo turned back to find Takashi regarding him intently, all traces of amusement gone from his eyes. His mouth was drawn in a thin line and he fixed a stern stare at the still smiling boy facing him.

"Why do you do this to yourself, Kyo?"

"Do what?"

"This. Everything. You hardly have time to breathe, let alone eat. Every time I turn around you're getting dragged off somewhere to do something. Even for clubs that you're not a member of. You've got the soccer finals, the drama for next year, helping out Kenji with the basketball team, that charity drive, captaining the kendo club. . .did I miss out anything else?"

"You forgot the debate club."

Takashi took a deep breath and reminded himself of the Hippocratic Oath he had taken. He cannot, under any circumstances, strangle Kyo. He mustn't. Right. Hah.

"Well?" Takashi demanded.

Kyo shrugged almost negligently, turning away from him to stare off into the distance. He was almost fooled by that careless shrug but Takashi had learned to read those subtle, minute signals that Kyo gave off. Right now, he knew he had touched a nerve. But what exactly was it, he didn't know. Almost, he wished he could just take Kyo into his arms and just hold him tight. Tell him that he was there for him. If Kyo would let him.

Kyo was saved from answering by the bell signaling the end of lunch. He stood, picking up his blazer and shrugging into it, adjusted his tie and strode to the door. As his hand slid it back in its tracks, Takashi spoke up again, this time, a trace of frustration apparent in his tone.

"Dammit Kyo. I deserve an explanation at least."

An explanation? An explanation for why he feels the need to drive himself into utter exhaustion every day and every night? Why he was so determined to fill up every spare minute not spent with Takashi and Hikki?

He glanced back over his shoulder and smiled another smile. He was good at smiling. He had lots of practice.

"Because, Takashi, what else is there for me to live for?"

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~to be continued~

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A/N: Ah. It feels so good to be writing this story. Gomen ne, minna-sama, for taking so long to update. And here I was, all determined to be the kind of fanfic author that updated regularly and on time. . . - You people still love me right?

P.S: Review! Ja ne!