I have to admit, when you first told me that you wanted to end things with
me, it hurt. God, it hurt. I had basically alienated everyone I knew to
fight and save what I thought we had. Given, I may be no Trash Stratus or
Amy Dumas, but damn it, I deserve to be loved too. The words you said, I
knew you meant with every part of you. Shawn Hickenbottom, you never were
one for wasting words. Oddly enough, a wave of relief rushed over me once I
realized that the one thing that was causing the most stress in my life,
was no longer there. Yes, I miss you: the way you held me blocking out the
world, the way you loved me. However, I've learned life goes on no matter
how much I want it to stop turning. For you, moving on may have been easy,
but it's a thing I'm still getting accustomed to. Knowing that you are free
to share the love you once had for me with someone else nearly kills me,
but I have accepted the fact that things maybe just weren't meant to be.
There is a part of me that wishes you would show up at my door, begging me
to take you back, pleading with me to forgive you for the mistakes you've
made. However, I am not sure my heart could handle a round two of getting
over you. There is only one road of survival for me now; to live as I was
before, closed off to the world and everyone around me. The determination I
had once before not to let anyone in to my little dark world, is rearing
its ugly head once again, and the temptation of succumbing to it grows
stronger with each passing moment. But, I'll survive, by any means
necessary to make sure no one ever gains the key to my heart like you did.
Despite friends telling me that there will be someone else who will come to
sweep me off of my feet when I least expect it, I know that the more time
that passes, the more bleak any of the little hope I have left will begin
to fade. Once again, life will appear as if you were never in it. Then and
only then, will I be whole.
"I Love Myself Today"
You left me like a broken doll
In pieces as I took the fall
for you, you dumb chump!
You left me free-falling like space junk
Burning up in the atmosphere of life
Well I sound like a philosopher
but I'm a fool who's off her rocker
'Cause I let you in my heart that one last time
I've had enough, made up my mind
I'm gonna get up and out and wahhh!
I love myself today
Not like yesterday
I'm cool, I'm calm
I'm gonna be okay! Uh huh
I love myself today
Not like yesterday
Take another look at me now
'Cause it's your last look
Your last look forever
Well look at you you're all puffed up
In that big red truck- but you're outta luck (this time)
Well, that's tough
'Cause I'm on fire- too hot to touch
with a chatroom full of lovers on the line
Gonna step right up. Spit shine my soul
I'm gonna be proud and loud and outta control!
I love myself today
Not like yesterday
I'm cool, I'm calm
I'm gonna be okay! Uh huh
I love myself today
Not like yesterday
Take another look at me now
'Cause it's your last look
Your last look forever
I'm lookin' in the mirror and I like what I see:
I've lost the fear & the horror that's been eating at me
'Cause being with you is like a hangman's noose
I was living my life in dead man's shoes
I've had enough. Made up my mind
I'm gonna get up and out and wahhh!
I love myself today
Not like yesterday
I'm cool, I'm calm
I'm gonna be okay! Uh huh
I love myself today
Not like yesterday
Take another look at me now
I love myself today
Not like yesterday
You're dead and gone
I'm gonna get my way
I love myself today
Not like yesterday
Take another look at me now
'Cause it's your last look
Your last look forever!!
I love myself today
"I Love Myself Today"
You left me like a broken doll
In pieces as I took the fall
for you, you dumb chump!
You left me free-falling like space junk
Burning up in the atmosphere of life
Well I sound like a philosopher
but I'm a fool who's off her rocker
'Cause I let you in my heart that one last time
I've had enough, made up my mind
I'm gonna get up and out and wahhh!
I love myself today
Not like yesterday
I'm cool, I'm calm
I'm gonna be okay! Uh huh
I love myself today
Not like yesterday
Take another look at me now
'Cause it's your last look
Your last look forever
Well look at you you're all puffed up
In that big red truck- but you're outta luck (this time)
Well, that's tough
'Cause I'm on fire- too hot to touch
with a chatroom full of lovers on the line
Gonna step right up. Spit shine my soul
I'm gonna be proud and loud and outta control!
I love myself today
Not like yesterday
I'm cool, I'm calm
I'm gonna be okay! Uh huh
I love myself today
Not like yesterday
Take another look at me now
'Cause it's your last look
Your last look forever
I'm lookin' in the mirror and I like what I see:
I've lost the fear & the horror that's been eating at me
'Cause being with you is like a hangman's noose
I was living my life in dead man's shoes
I've had enough. Made up my mind
I'm gonna get up and out and wahhh!
I love myself today
Not like yesterday
I'm cool, I'm calm
I'm gonna be okay! Uh huh
I love myself today
Not like yesterday
Take another look at me now
I love myself today
Not like yesterday
You're dead and gone
I'm gonna get my way
I love myself today
Not like yesterday
Take another look at me now
'Cause it's your last look
Your last look forever!!
I love myself today
