A/N: My friends; the last chapter.
Warnings: Angst my love
Disclaimer: YnM and its affiliates do not belong to me. I'm merely borrowing it for the pleasure and enjoyment and am making absolutely no profit. But I am not studying to do this so my lecturers can probably sue me for that. The sonnet at the end is Elizabeth Barret Browning's.
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We'll Be Together Again Someday
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He didn't know how long he had lain there, unmoving, just breathing softly (which, he realized with a twist of irony was a moot point) while still cupping that pale cheek as though he never meant to let go. How he became aware of time passing was by the slow morphing of light through the curtained windows. Slits of darkness that shot through grew lighter and lighter till it became beams of bright gold to hints of pale blue mixed with green. His friends had stayed their vigil throughout the night as well, though with less dogged determination than he had shown. Occasionally, one or the other would get up to stretch their legs, get a cup of coffee or a bite to eat.
Hikaru had been the most reticent of the three. While Kenji and Father Sakano engaged in softly whispered conversation from time to time, she kept silent, staring blankly at Takashi though once in a while, her gaze would wander over to him and almost, almost he could swear that she saw him.
"Hikki. . . ."
Not a flicker of recognition in those chocolate depths. He tried anyway.
"Hikki, I-"
Sigh. What would he say anyway to a friend who couldn't see him?
"Ohayo gozaimasu, Shiozaki-san."
It would seem as though his wish had been granted, that someone finally saw him and he would be able to pass on last words of comfort to his loved ones, right? But he knew better. Without moving from his position or deigning to give an acknowledging glance to the one who had spoken behind him, he said firmly,
"It's no use. Two of your people already came and I'll say to you what I said to them; I won't go."
A sigh and some rustling of cloth against cloth told him that the speaker was yet discouraged. He heard the strike of wood against paper and a little later, a pungent smell in the air told him that his visitor had lit up a cigarette. No use berating him for it. The living ones would not sense nor smell it at all.
The living ones, he mused silently. Something I'm not apparently.
"When my partner told me you were stubborn, he wasn't kidding," the voice remarked casually between puffs of smoke. "I never knew anyone who could convey that much mule-headedness in just a couple of sentences."
"Then you'll leave me alone?" he asked, though it was half-hearted. He knew better and the silence behind him told him that his 'visitor' also knew that.
With a resigned sigh of his own, he detached his hand from their caressing of Taka's cheek and sat up slowly. He turned around on the bed, still perched on it, and finally came face to face with his 'visitor'. He was a man in his late forties it looked like. With salt and pepper hair and a face that was as brown as a nutshell with faint lines of wrinkles, he looked like those typical private detectives you see on those old American shows, especially since he wore a rumpled suit complete with trench coat.
"Wataka Hotaro, at your service," the man offered complete with a little bow.
He blinked a couple of times.
"Weird name, I know," Wataka sighed mournfully. "You have no idea the teasing I get even when I'm dead."
A smile twitched the corners of his mouth but that was all he could dredge up at the moment. Instead, he inclined his head slightly and said, "I'd introduce myself but I'm sure you know everything there is to know about me already."
Wataka nodded. "Then you know why I'm here of course."
Kyo rolled his eyes at that. "I may be dead but I'm not stupid."
"Spunky too," Wataka offered. "Any chance you'll change your mind?"
His hand stole out to grip Taka's tightly though his husband showed no signs of feeling it. It was enough of an answer already. Wataka flicked his cigarette away and came closer to Kyo.
"You know too that I can force you," he said gravely. He took out a piece of paper from a pocket of his trench coat and showed it to him. It was a rectangular piece filled with some weird writings that sent a shiver down his back. He didn't know what it was exactly but he knew without a doubt as to what its purpose is. He meant his words.
Force him? Force him to leave Taka? After promising him that he'll never leave his side? A dangerous look entered his icy pale eyes that narrowed slightly in anger. He had made a promise to Taka and he meant to keep it. Nothing will take him away from Taka, nothing! As his anger build, he could feel something small and hot burning in his chest. That small something grew as his anger fed it and almost, he could sense something intangible in the air. It drew him to it and his mind reached out to grasp it. It felt. . . alive and definitely tangible now. Almost, he could see in his mind's eye faint glowing lines of. . .power? Feeling the need to express his anger, he took those lines and gave them an experimental tug.
Outside, the previously sunny day darkened suddenly with black clouds and with a roar that shook the building, lightning flashed and hurtled down to earth.
He heard startled yelps from his friends behind him and throughout the hospital. Footsteps scurried past the closed door and he could hear inquisitive shouts passed back and forth.
"Force me?" he asked mildly while his eyes still burned with that pale fire. Those power lines he still grasped, ready to do more than just give a tug if Wataka made a wrong move. A small part of him was frankly amazed at what he just did. Since when could he do that kind of stuff? But now was not the time for wondering. If this Wataka meant to carry out his threat, then he'd do anything to stop him.
Wataka had appeared as startled as the rest with his impromptu lightning show. A flicker of some emotion crossed his face, gone too fast for him to decipher it. But instead of carrying out his threat, he rubbed a hand against the back of his neck worriedly and pocketed his talisman.
"May I?" he gestured.
Kyo gave him a suspicious stare until he put up his hands in defense. "I won't do anything, I swear! I just want to talk."
He seemed sincere enough and so far, he had shown to be a good man. With a grudging nod, he scooted closer up the bed, giving him some space. The older man sat down gratefully. They sat in silence for a while until the excitement died down, his friends settling back in their seats while relative quietness again prevailed. Kyo kept a hand on Taka's, thumb running slow circles against skin he could no longer feel.
"You love him very much, don't you."
He nodded slowly, still keeping a wary eye out for any sudden movements on Wataka's part.
"You know you can't stay here," Wataka then pointed out gently.
Unbidden, tears filled his eyes at that and he quickly turned his head away, staring fiercely at the wall till he felt calm enough. He didn't trust himself to keep control though and spoke to him as he shifted his burning gaze back to Taka.
"Why?" he managed to rasp out. "Why can't I stay with him? It's not as though I'm going to go around messing with people and clanking chains and all that. This is all I want; to stay with him. Why won't you let me?"
He heard sighing from Wataka and a rustling sound. He whirled around but was gratified to see that Wataka was only pulling out another cigarette instead of a talisman. The slim white cylinder rolling between his fingers, he fixed a penetrating dark-eyed stare at him.
"Souls like you cannot remain on earth without some form of tie. Without your body or any other shell to protect it, your soul will be defenseless. Soon you'll lose your memories and identity till you're nothing more than a mindless yuurei. A soul can exist in its pure form in two dimensions only; Makai and Joukai."
He said it all very gently but Kyo felt the pain of it anyway. That was the price he had to pay to keep his promise? Become nothing more than a shrieking ghost? If he did, how would he keep his promise then? He had no doubt of the truth in Wataka's words though, the look in his eyes plainly said that it was something he never wished to say.
"What about you?" he asked instead. "Aren't you a pure soul?"
Wataka laughed a short, bitter laugh. "Me? I'm a Shinigami. We're given some form of corporeal flesh to do our work. Otherwise we'd just be earthbound spirits."
"Like me," Kyo said softly. He closed his eyes as the pain inside grew bigger and bigger. He wanted to scream with the injustice of it all. All of his life, all he wanted was to love someone and for someone to love him. He had thought he would be alone forever after his parents died and then Taka came into his life. Now, he cannot imagine eternity without him. But it seems as though that was the only option he had left. "I can't leave him," he whispered. "I can't."
"Well," Wataka sighed. "this was supposed to be your last option, if you still refuse to move on. Orders from up above say I can offer you this; the position of a Shinigami."
Shinigami? His hand tightened momentarily upon Taka's as he stared at Wataka. Become a Shinigami? A God of Death? When alive, he had never given much thought to such things. To him, a Shinigami was a vague notion imparted by various lore and myths that abounded in their culture. To imagine one at all, he would have thought that they'd be like those drawings you see, some obscure spirit with a light to guide the dead. Judging by Wataka, traditional dress doesn't seem to be the requirement in being a Shinigami and if they had a guiding light at all, then that may be the purpose of his cigarette. Kyo smiled at the absurdity of it and ruefully shook his head.
"Isn't that the same though? If I become a Shinigami, I still have to leave Taka," he said.
It was Wataka's turn to shake his head. "You don't want to move on without your sensei, right? As a Shinigami, you won't move on. You'll be working directly for Meifu, under the JuuOhCho; Japan's bureau for processing the dead. You'll be given a corporeal flesh and granted the power to move between this world, Chijou and Meifu to do your job."
Kyo raised a fine eyebrow. "And what is my job exactly?"
"Like what I'm doing now basically. Get trapped souls to move on, banish some ghosts. . .it's not a pretty job but you'll get the full details if you agree to. The position is usually offered to earthbound spirits but not all. You're one of the few exceptions."
Kyo sat silently, trying to process it all when Wataka spoke again.
"It means you get to wait for your sensei. It's a better option than becoming a yuurei. Or being forcibly banished."
"But I get to wait for him," Kyo said softly.
"A warning though, you can't have any contact with the living except in the capacity of your job. Break this rule and you will be sent on, whether you want to or not."
"But I get to wait for him," Kyo repeated.
"Yes."
Silence between the two of them stretched into long minutes as Kyo gazed with unseeing eyes upon his sensei. There were many things Wataka had left unsaid, he knew. A part of him warned that for such a position, there would be a heavy price to pay. Would he be willing to pay it?
As long as he can wait for Taka. . . .
"I'll take it," Kyo announced.
"Great!"
"On one condition."
"Not so great."
"I want to say a last goodbye to Taka. That's all I ask. I want to tell him that I'll be waiting for him."
Uneasiness radiated from the older man as he shifted uncomfortably on his perch. The fingers still holding on to his unlighted cigarette had mangled the white cylinder to a twisted stub and he flicked it away.
"Very well," he agreed reluctantly. "But there's a price you have to pay for that."
"That is?" he asked with the barest hint of care. He would pay anything if it meant he could do it. But before Wataka could tell him, the hand beneath his grip flexed slightly as a stir of movement came from the previously prone man lying on the bed.
Kyo's heart thudded painfully in his chest as a familiar voice called out.
"Kyo?"
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The doctors said that Takashi should come around by today at least. She had lost count of the hours she spent sitting in that hard, plastic chair. The light outside showed that she had stayed up the whole night and well into the morning. Ken and Father Sakano had urged her to rest but she refused. She had to be there when Takashi wakes up. God knows he would need some comforting.
She needed it herself.
The beeping of Ken's watch told her it was already 10 a.m. She glanced aside, seeing that Father Sakano had fallen asleep in his chair, mouth gaping open slightly and Ken was similarly dozing. Looking at them, a wave of dizziness passed over her and she rubbed her eyes tiredly. She was wondering how much longer could she last when she saw movement from the corner of her eyes. She turned sharply, wide awake now and sure enough, restless shifting and eyes fluttering open, Takashi finally stirred to consciousness.
And the first thing he said was, "Kyo?"
She bit her bottom lip, hard. She couldn't cry again. Not now. She had to be strong for Takashi. Her face felt rock-hard but she forced herself to smile anyway. Beside her, Ken and Father Sakano stirred awake, each looking at her, waiting for her to make the first move.
"Ohayo, Takashi," she said. "How are you feeling?"
He groaned and tried to sit up but his leg splint was hampering him. Hikaru quickly helped him to a sitting position, fluffing his pillows and settling him down firmly against them.
"I feel like hell," he mumbled. "What happened? Why am I in the hospital?"
Hikaru was smoothing down his blankets and her hands froze at his question. He didn't remember. Not yet.
"Well, your right leg's broken but the doctors say it's a clean break. Your left ankle is badly twisted though and you bruised your ribs. Oh, and you've got a lovely collection of cuts and bruises," she answered instead.
Takashi was looking around the room quizzically. "Where's Kyo? And how did I get here anyway?"
She couldn't do it. God help her, she can't say the words. It was hard enough for her to come to grips with it but what about Takashi? How can she tell him that Kyo won't ever come back?
Takashi went on, oblivious to her distress, still craning his neck past her as if he expected Kyo to materialize any second. "I was at the infirmary," he started slowly, frowning as he tried to recall balky memory, "I was taking down inventory and Kyo had just left for the tournament. . . ."
His hands tightened their grip on his blankets as recollection came back, fierce and sharp.
"There was an explosion," he said, horror clear in his voice. "Oh god, there was an explosion. I remember fire. . . I must have blacked out when the cabinet fell on me. When I woke up, I heard Kyo. . . ."
"Takashi, I-" she choked back a sob, words failing her at the look of utter despair in his face.
"I told Kyo to leave," he gasped out, his hands releasing their grip on the blankets to cover his face. His words spilled out anyway between his fingers, falling without stop as were his tears. "I told him to leave because the fire was getting bad. I couldn't move and he can't carry me out. The fire was so hot but he wouldn't leave! He wouldn't leave!"
"Takashi, please! Stop! T-"
"I told him to leave," Takashi moaned, rocking back and forth. "But he wouldn't! Oh God! Kyo!"
Ken and Father Sakano moved to either side of the bed, trying to calm him down but he shook off their touch, hands balled into fists as he screamed at them.
"No! Where's Kyo? He won't leave me! He promised! I can hear him! He's calling me! He said we'll always be together! Let go of me!"
It was the struggle of a mindless animal. He lashed out with startling ferocity, knocking Ken away and even Father Sakano's soothing voice failed to calm him. His screams grew worse, and his trashing threatened to spill him out of his sling and bed. Hikaru could only stand aside, watching with tears running down her face as Takashi lost control of himself, still screaming at them that Kyo wouldn't leave him, that he can hear Kyo calling to him. The door flew open then and three orderlies came running in, an attending doctor hard on their heels. The orderlies were no mere scrawny kids but men well-used to handling intractable patients. Still, it took nearly all their strength to pin down Takashi without hurting him further. The doctor waited grimly at the side, a syringe waiting in his hand and as soon as one of the orderly managed to get a firm grip on Takashi's arm, he darted in and the needle slid into his skin smoothly, the clear liquid draining.
Even then they still kept their grip on him, clearly not trusting him to try and break loose again. But Takashi slumped against their grip, sobbing brokenly. The paralysis her body was locked in then broke as his weeping subsided to that of quiet anguish. She moved to his side and when they still kept a hold on him, she glared at them, brown eyes hard and cold as flint.
"Let go of him," she bit out.
At once, they back off and she quickly gathered Takashi into her arms, perching herself awkwardly on the edge of the bed. She cradled him close, murmuring soft words of empty comfort and brushing his hair soothingly. As his tears fell endlessly, she rocked him gently, crooning to him and after what seemed like long minutes, he slipped into unconsciousness.
And she held on to him, not letting go.
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. . . .Taka. . . .Taka, wake up. . . . .
"Just a few more minutes," he mumbled, turning and burying his face in his pillow. He could feel warm sunshine on his face and he sighed in contentment.
The still insistent voice sounded amused but kept on urging him to wake up.
. . . Taka. . . . .wake up you lazy bum. . . . .
"I'm not a lazy bum," he yawned, still with his face buried.
Oh dear Lord, wake up Taka. . . .now. Or I'll pour cold water on you and you know I'll do it.
"I'm up! I'm up!" he yelped, bolting upright and the sheets pooling in his lap. He blinked bemusedly as his eyes adjusted to the bright light pouring in from the opened blinds. He was pretty sure he had closed it the night before. . . .
"Finally, you're awake," that voice commented wryly. "I've been calling for ages."
Somebody was sitting on the side of the bed next to him. He knuckled his eyes, rubbing away the last traces of sleep and grinned unabashedly.
"Morning Kyo." He yawned again. "Man, I had a terrible nightmare. . . you were in it, so were Ken and Father Sakano too. . ." he trailed off and flinched slightly as he remembered the dream again. By his side, Kyo kept silent, looking at him with a strange smile on his face. It was then that he noticed that Kyo was wearing his uniform.
"Why are you wearing-oh yeah, the tournament's today right?"
Kyo just gave him a crooked smile, head cocked to the side. His love seemed a bit distracted today, looking almost wistful and Takashi wondered why. He raised a fine eyebrow in reproof.
"Don't I get a good morning hug at least?" he asked with a faint injured smile. Before Kyo could answer, he grinned again and pulled Kyo into his lap, arms closing in a tight hug and he buried his face in the boy's hair, inhaling the sweet fragrance.
"Mmm, you smell good," he murmured. His hands roamed unashamedly all over Kyo's back. He hoped that they had some time for a little distraction first before Kyo left. He was just contemplating removing Kyo's jacket when his fingers felt decidedly warm and sticky.
Takashi frowned in surprise. Did Kyo spilt something? But on his back? He opened his eyes to look down and found. . . .
His fingers sticky with blood.
Dark, red blood that was still oozing out from a gaping wound in Kyo's back. Exactly over his heart.
"It was the price I had to pay to say goodbye to you," Kyo whispered in his ear.
So it wasn't just a. . . .nightmare?
Kyo went on. "I had to appear to you the way I died."
Died. . . .
They were still hugging each other and Takashi could not tear his eyes away from the gruesome sight. His breath burned in his throat and he felt a scream building up somewhere beneath. Body trembling, he closed a hand over the wound, trying perhaps, to stop the blood. A useless act. He sobbed, tears slipping free from wide staring eyes. He couldn't stop the blood.
"Stop it Taka!" Kyo hissed. The boy drew back from their embrace and forced Takashi to meet his eyes that were burning brightly with tears and anger. "We don't have that much time," he said, softening his tone.
"Why?" he moaned instead. "Why?"
"I don't know why," Kyo grounded out. "But it happened."
"Don't leave me, please don't. You promised me!"
"I'm sorry," Kyo was crying himself now. "I'm so sorry."
For a long moment, they collapsed in each other's arms, sobbing out their grief. It hurts so much, this pain. Why? Why did they have to lose each other after finding one another? Did they ask for too much? Was it wrong for them to only want happiness and eternity with each other?
At long last, Kyo pulled himself free and wiped away Takashi's tears, smiling crookedly. "I can keep my promise to you in a way," he said softly. "They won't let me stay here, but they said I can wait for you so we can move on together."
Takashi's eyes brightened a bit. "Stay? Where?"
A shadow passed briefly over Kyo's face but he kept smiling anyway. "Meifu. They've offered me the position of a Shinigami. If I take it, I can wait for you. I can't see you but I can still wait for you. Then we can be together."
Bowing his head, Takashi bit out the words anyway. "But we can't be together now."
A long silence. "No."
His head snapped up and his eyes blazed in anger. "Then I'll join you! Right this minute! Then we can be together!"
A fast shake of the head told him how Kyo knew he was going to say it and that he hated the idea. "No! I won't let you kill yourself! You have so much to live for!"
"What's the use when I don't have you!" he shouted. "You should have just left me to die then! Why save me if you're leaving me!"
It was too late before he realized what he had said. Kyo's face paled and he flinched when Takashi raised a hand to cup his cheek.
"Oh God. I'm sorry," he whispered hoarsely. "I'm sorry I said that. I just wish. . ."
Kyo shook his head, tears falling again. "No, I understand. But please, don't kill yourself. Live for me. Please? I'll wait for you forever if I have to," he added.
His heart twisting inside him with grief, Takashi nodded his head wearily. "I'll wait for you too. And don't you dare tell me to find somebody else," he said fiercely.
"That's nice to know," Kyo laughed shakily. "A last hug?"
They moved in with that familiar comfort, trying desperately to commit to memory the feel of each other's skin, the feel of each other's touch. It was inevitable that they kissed and their lips trembled with suppressed emotions that they can't afford to show right now. To do so they would become nothing more than an emotional wreck, unable to say a word or move a muscle. So they kissed.
And beneath his touch, he could feel Kyo disappearing slowly, flesh becoming insubstantial by degrees. He opened his eyes to see Kyo a faint outline only till he could see through him. The last to go was a small smile and at the very last, his brilliantly pale eyes dimmed. . . .and was gone.
* * *
He woke up not to see their bedroom but the hospital room. White curtains billowed in the breeze, let in by the opened windows. Dusk was falling, staining the walls burnt ochre and tarnished bronze.
Hikaru was still by his side, head pillowed on her arms and her long ponytail falling free from their tie. She looked peaceful, face unlined by grief or sorrow as sleep gave her a moment's rest. Somebody had finally took pity on his faithful visitors and a small cot now lay beside his bed with Father Sakano resting on it. Ken had opted to stay in his chair it looked like and Takashi felt a small smile crossing his face briefly. He was going to wake up with a terrible cramp, he knew.
He closed his eyes and sighed. He wanted to cry still but his eyes were dry. The anguish was still sharp inside, like a wound still fresh but for now, he could cope. He had to.
A sudden warm wind swirled in to the room and kissed his pale cheeks.
. . . . . .love you. . . .
He whispered, "I love you too."
. . . . . . . .How do I love thee? Let me count the ways
. . . . . . . . . . .I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
. . . . . . . .My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
. . . . . . . . .For the ends of Being and ideal Grace
. . . . . . . .I love thee to level of every day's
. . . . . . . . . .Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light
. . . . . . . .I love thee freely, as men strive for right
. . . . . . . . . .I love thee purely, as they turn from praise
. . . . . . . .I love thee with the passion put to use
. . . . . . . . . .In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith
. . . . . . . .I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
. . . . . . . . . .With my lost saints-I love thee with the breath
. . . . . . . .Smiles, tears, of all my life!-and, if God choose
. . . . . . . . . . .I shall but love thee better after death.
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~owari~
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A/N: The end of the first arc. . . or is it the second since "Come To Me" was the first? Ah well. Now you know, faithful readers of mine, of how Taka and Kyo came to be. Has this whet your appetite for the third arc of Kyo and Taka? I hope it did ^^ Like I said before, I won't be able to upload the new arc till after the 18th of March coz my first paper's on Monday. Yech. Economics. Wish I had Tatsumi to tutor me. Of course, if Tatsumi was to tutor me, I wouldn't be studying would I? ^ . ^
A note to my readers: I know how painful it is waiting for a story to come out so while you're waiting for the third arc (which I hope you are looking forward to), I'll upload a little fic exclusively for your enjoyment! It'll be called, roughly, "Revenge of An Original Character". Nyahahaha! You can tell that angst has nothing to do with it! Watch out for a vindictive Kyo, a kidnapped Kelly, and a certain albino doctor!
P.S: and for you FAKE fans out there, my FAKE fic should have been updated by the time you're reading this. All I can say about the delay is; GOMENESAI!!! Oh, any Ruruoni Kenshin fans out there? Have you read Aishiteru's "Meiji Heights"? It's sooo good! Read it! And can anyone suggest me other good RK/Gravi/ fics? Oh, a piece of good news! For me anyway ^^ My dad promised to buy me a DVD drive after my finals and I'm weaseling 2 DVDs out of him too! So can anyone suggest me a good yaoi/shounen-ai anime besides Gravitation? I'm getting Gravi so I need another choice. . .is there a "Hanakimi Zakari no Tachi e" OVA? If there is, does it have an English title?
So many questions! ^^ See you guys soon!
