Disclaimer: Wufei: "If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, baka onna! I don't belong to you!"
Watching You
Part 9
The cockpit panel slid aside clumsily, stalling a few times as it opened. I frowned, looking over at Wufei.
"You took a few hits to the front," I told him. "They must have warped the plating. Do you know how long that's gonna take to fix?"
He looked at me for a moment, dark eyes studying me intently. "So?" he finally asked. "That's your job, isn't it?"
"Hai, hai," I said, waving a hand at him. "But you," I commanded, pointing a finger at him, "are going to help me."
He smiled, a sly, almost feral grin. "Oh, I intend to."
"*Hey!!*"
There was an annoyed shout from below us, most likely emanating from the rather miffed-looking Duo Maxwell on the hangar floor, hands on hips and staring up at the cockpit. "Just what the hell do you think you were pullin' back there, Cha–" His eyes narrowed as I peered over the edge of the panel from my position on Wufei's lap. I had turned, draping my legs over one of the arms of the seat, resting sideways against his chest while he'd piloted the damaged suit home. I could've very well sat on the floor on the way back, but –
But somehow I hadn't really wanted to.
And he hadn't said anything about it.
"Uh… pardon me if this sounds rude," Duo's voice rang out, cutting through my thoughts, "but can I ask just WHAT THE HELL is KOJI DOING IN THERE?!"
I winced, but Wufei made no move or indication that Duo's voice had bothered him.
"Just now," Wufei said, voice reverberating throughout his chest as he shouted down to Duo, albeit amazingly calmly, "she was telling me how long it was going to take to fix this panel."
Duo's eyes narrowed. "That's not what I meant."
"I know."
Duo tapped his foot impatiently, the dull sound ringing throughout the bay.
"She could have climbed up here once I landed," Wufei pointed out calmly.
"Well, that's true," Duo's singsong voice rang out, "but that wouldn't explain why she's SITTING ON YOUR LAP!!!"
"Duo?"
I craned my neck to see Quatre coming over, obviously confused by all the American's shouting.
"Just look!" Duo exclaimed, pointing an incriminating finger up at us. "Look at what's goin' on up there in Shenlong – ooh!" His eyes suddenly widened and he clapped his hand over his mouth.
Quatre was peering up at us, still confused. "Koji? How did you…?"
"You were there the whole time! OhmiGod… don't tell me the solitary dragon's getting soft… "
"Shut up, Maxwell," Wufei snapped, but at the same time gently lifting his arms, indicating that he wanted to get up. I slid off his lap and a second later he'd grabbed me firmly around the waist – much to my surprise – and wrapped his other hand around the cable that would lower us to the ground.
"It's true! It's true!" Duo started shouting as Wufei hopped off the footloop and landed deftly on the ground, releasing his hold on my waist. "*I* know why you were just sitting there in the middle of the battle – it's 'cause you were too busy makin' out to –"
"DUO!" I shouted; he stopped and looked at me, blinking. "Duo, you know that's not what happened."
He suddenly grinned and pointed. "Then why are you blushing?!"
Damn it, stupid bodily functions that I couldn't control – but we hadn't –
"Look," I pleaded; I could feel Wufei's cool gaze on me, curious as to what I was going to tell Duo, "Yes, I distracted him. But I was only trying to get him to not kill himself. And that's *all*, got it Maxwell?" I crossed my arms and tried to look firm.
Duo's grin hadn't faded. "Sure, sure, that's why Feifei-chan here was letting you sit on his lap, sure…"
"Duo!!!"
There was a hand on my shoulder; I turned to look at Wufei, my gaze locking onto his.
"Just let him think whatever the hell he wants to think," Wufei said softly. "None of it is true, anyway." And he led me out of there.
* * *
"You look tired," he observed, sitting on the bed before me.
I sighed. "I *feel* tired," I agreed.
"Then why don't you get some sleep?" he asked. And he peeled off his shirt, tossing it to the side.
I stood there, gaping at him.
Well, I had seen him without a shirt before – when he was injured. But… but…
"What?" he asked softly.
I shook my head. "Nothing."
"No," he said firmly, standing up and coming over to me, "Something is bothering you. What is it?"
All right. Fine. I would ask.
"Wufei?" I asked softly, looking down at the floor, not really wanting to look at him.
"What is it?" he asked.
"Who's… who *was* Meiran?"
There was a pause. A very heavy, painful pause during which I was very sure that I should not have asked that question.
"She was my wife."
My head snapped up as I stared at him, my stomach dropping and my world falling apart. His… *wife*?!
"We were married at 14," he continued, voice calm and even, but his eyes were looking past me even as he stood only a foot away. "It was an arranged marriage – part of the tradition of our clans. She was very stubborn, very insistent on being the strongest there was. And she believed very much in her 'Justice'." Something in his voice echoed the immense respect he must have had for her.
The respect that I threatened to take away from him.
I couldn't dare –
His eyes finally focused themselves, cool onyx falling on me once more. "But less than a year later she insisted on going out on her own when OZ attacked my colony. She insisted that she was strong enough to beat them all."
He paused. "She wasn't."
I blinked as he stopped speaking; my legs felt as if they were about to give out and send me tumbling to the floor. He'd been married… he'd had a wife…? And she had died and left him here and…
"I… I can't – I can't do this, then," I told him softly. His eyes narrowed in confusion.
"What?"
"I can't… Wufei, I can't possibly try to take the place of someone like that. I don't have the right!" I cried, feeling my hands ball up into fists, hearing the tears threatening from beneath my voice.
"What do you mean, it's not your right?" he demanded, taking another step towards me, as if he could get much closer. "She is gone, Koji. Even I know that. Nothing will bring her back."
He stopped again, sighed. "Not even my fighting in this damned war."
So *that* was why he was here. It was suddenly so clear; his justice, his strength, his *Nataku*… He had been fighting, all this time –
He had been fighting for *her*.
The tears finally did spill over. "Oh, God, Wufei… I'm sorry," I told him. "I'm so sorry – "
"Don't be sorry," he said, his voice so heavy that I pulled my gaze back up to meet his. "You should never be sorry for something that's not your fault."
I shook my head. "I'm sorry it had to happen to you – I wish you hadn't had to go through –"
"You can't protect me from the past," he said softly, snapping my mind and suddenly I realized –
That's what I had been trying to do. That's all I had *ever* wanted to do, was to protect this boy from the hell that he had been through, try to keep these things from happening to someone that didn't deserve them.
And I was too weak to do even that.
"I know," I admitted softly. I sighed. "I just… I just… I don't want to hurt you any more." I told him softly. "If it's just going to make things worse by –"
"No," he said firmly, cutting me off, and he took another step forward and suddenly his arms had looped around me, pulling me to his warm chest, and I couldn't think, I was still so confused –
"No, you're not going to make things worse," he told me over the loud heartbeat throbbing beside my ear. "You've had enough in your life – "
"So have you," I pointed out.
He sighed. "Yes. I suppose I have." He released me, taking a step back and looking down at me. "This isn't the past. You can't protect me from what's already happened. But you were willing to save me today," he said softly. "The least I can do is be strong enough to let you do that."
There was silence for a long time.
But there was still something bothering me. "I don't want to take something that's not mine," I said softly, aware of how stupid that sounded, but it was what was bothering me nonetheless.
I couldn't steal him from her memory, not like this.
He looked down at me. "Koji," he said softly, "I don't belong to Meiran."
