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Courage to Find the Strength

Chapter 6

Draco Malfoy stormed out of Hogwarts and out onto the school grounds, making his way towards the dark forest. He didn't give a damn if anyone saw him and luckily no one that was going to stop him did. Damn that stupid mudblood bitch, he thought. She was always causing trouble for him, always trying to foil his plans or interfere in his life somehow, she and those other two freaks. He hated her for seeing his one moment of weakness - two, he grimly corrected. He hated how his father was destroying his life in a manner of less than a week. He hated how even the first year Slytherins acted like they were somehow now better than him. He hated Professor Snape for embarrassing him in class, but most of all, he hated the humiliation of that morning's breakfast fiasco when the entire school had laughed at him. Laughed at him! He swore up a storm as he crashed through the forest to his quiet meadow. When he had first come to Hogwarts, he had loathed and feared the forest, terribly afraid of its inhabitants. But one night, he had been dared to enter it for a period of one hour by some of the senior Slytherins. Not wanting to lose face, Draco had agreed and stumbled upon the hidden meadow quite by accident. It was a peaceful restful place, and he went there when he needed to be alone. It had also served as a meeting place for him and his father or his father's "friends." Somehow, the creatures of the forest never bothered him or entered this place, and when he was alone there, he always felt safe.

Malfoy had just lain down on the soft meadow grass when he heard the sound of fabric tearing as if it had been snagged on a branch. A soft voice swore as it pulled free. He cursed his luck under his breath, but he didn't get up. Hermione looked down at her torn robe and frowned, but the lazing Malfoy had apparently not heard. She just watched him, uncertain as to what she should do next. Should she approach or just turn and flee?

"What do you want, Granger?" he called over to her.

Hermione drew a deep breath and walked over to him. Her face peering down temporarily blotted out the sun, and Malfoy blinked as he looked up at her.

"You're in my sun, mudblood." Hermione moved and kicked him, albeit gently, in his bruised ribs.

"One more time, Malfoy, and you'll be looking up at me from just three inches high. Just in time to see my shoe squash your ugly face."

"Huh," was all he said and continued to look up at the sky. After a minute, he turned back to her, shielding his eyes, "You didn't answer my question."

Hermione looked at him uncomfortably, then looked away. "Nice meadow you've got here. It looks even more, um, cheerful in the daylight."

He frowned at her avoidance of the question. Did she really think he could be that easily distracted? "I come here to think. Answer the question."

"Malfoy, why do you hate me so much? Is it really because I'm muggle- born?" Where the hell did that come from, she wondered. The shocked look on her face covered by her hands over her mouth actually brought an amused smile to Malfoy's face.

"Well, there's that, and the fact that you're a Gryffindor, and the fact that you are the biggest show-off goody-goody Hogwarts has ever seen. You're always so damn cocky you have all the answers, but your worst offense is that you insist on associating with that complete loser, Potter. Now, you didn't really come here to discuss my feelings, did you?" He arched an eyebrow at her, quickly losing patience.

Hermione's face turned from righteous indignation to nervous uncertainty.

"You did, didn't you, Granger? You bloody came here to find out what I'm feeling. You really don't stop, do you?" Draco sat up and glared at her. He knew she was here for information, but she just wasn't sure how to go about it. If their situations had been reversed, he would no doubt have used an interrogation spell, probably a painful one. It was a skill passed down from his father.

"I just wanted to say I didn't think it was right how they laughed at you today in the hall."

That stopped him. Now it was his turn to feel nervous uncertainty. This was a subject in particular he didn't wish to discuss with her. He was beginning to really wish she'd just leave. He started to pull out his wand to force her to go when she dropped to kneel next to him.

"I mean, yesterday it was in Potions class and with Snape and all.. But this morning was just awful. You know I hate you, but even I felt bad."

Yes, Malfoy was going to spell her good. When he was done, she'd have a nasty scar to rival Potter's ugly mark. The words were springing to mind.

"Draco, I'm sorry." Hermione reached out and gently laid a hand on his shoulder. His mouth fell open and he just stared at her with a horrified look on his face.

"You're dad should have never said those things to you. He's an evil Death Eater, but he just can't give up on you like that. You should live your life the way you want to, not the way he.." But Draco shrugged her hand violently off his shoulder.

"You don't know one damn thing about me and my father so don't pretend you do!" Malfoy shouted at her. Never had she seen him so angry or upset.

"Draco, I was only.."

"STOP CALLING ME THAT!" A few birds took off in fright from the trees.

Hermione bowed her head and twisted her hands together in obvious discomfort.

"You have no clue about me and my father, mudblood. You don't know what it's like for every fucking day of your life to be dictated to as what your future will be and how you're NEVER living up to it. One mistake, just one tiny mistake, and you're in the dungeons wishing you'd never been born. Even being told you should have never been born. I bet your parents are always proud of their brilliant witch-to-be daughter, the bloody muggle dentists that they are." He spit out the word 'dentists' like it was the foulest word in the English language. "I live my life to make my father proud, to do his bidding, but just once I'd like a say in my OWN destiny."

Draco paused and looked up at the heavens as if for strength. When he looked back at Hermione, he was surprised to see her not only staring at him but with tears on her cheeks.

"So, then, you don't want to become a Death Eater like your father?"

Malfoy shook his head sadly. "I don't know, maybe."

"But, they're horrible, awful people, Malfoy! Why would you want to become one even if it IS what your father wants." She looked so distraught that Draco sat back a little bit. He couldn't believe she was actually this passionate about his life or this upset. She was openly crying now.

"Hermione, please don't.." In horror, he stopped himself. She suddenly stopped as well. Both just stared at each other with wide-eyed shock. He hadn't actually used her first name and he hadn't really put such care and concern into it, had he?

"I, um," he started.

"Well, we should better," she began.

They both rapidly turned away from the other, both too caught up in their thoughts to say anything more.

Draco turned to her first and said, "Hermione, I.." Damn, he cursed himself. He did it again! He bit his lip so hard it almost bled. He got up to leave, thoroughly embarrassed and ashamed with himself. He was halfway back to the trees when he heard her laughing. Turning around, he watched with confused amazement as she stood there trying to contain her giggles, then struggled with her choked snorts, and then just burst forth in long peals of laughter. She was laughing so hard new tears were starting to make their way down her face. And was her laughter ever infectious! In a moment, he couldn't help smiling, then grinning, then just joining in with her. He had actually called Hermione Granger by her first name. Twice! He laughed so hard his ribs started to ache again.

When she saw him wince despite his surprisingly pleasant laugh, not the evil cackle-like sarcastic laugh she was used to, she tried to start breathing again normally and walk over to him. She got within a foot or so of him and was relieved that he was finally starting to calm down and return to normal. Without looking at his face, she reached a tentative hand to gingerly place it on his side to see if he had injured himself again. She was now extremely quiet except for her suddenly quick, hard breathing. An inch away, his hand shot out and grabbed hers. Their eyes locked for a moment, and she saw the same grim Malfoy looking back at her. All traces of amusement were gone. Suddenly and without warning, his lips descended on hers with a firm, yet demanding pressure.

Draco didn't know what possessed him to do it, and for the moment, he didn't care. He couldn't even open his eyes until he felt her respond to the kiss, tentatively, then with increasing passion. He tried to muffle his groan as he slid an arm around her small waist to pull her closer and shut his eyes once more.

Hermione had no clue what had come over her, nor did she want to. Somehow able to remember his injuries, she carefully put her arms around Malfoy's back to steady herself. Even with his arm around her, she felt light- headed. The kiss deepened and seemed to go on for hours, but it actually lasted only a few minutes. They pulled away as the kiss ended, and both were breathing heavy. Draco swallowed, and Hermione managed a shy, weak smile.

"What the hell was that?" Malfoy whispered, never taking his eyes off her face.