Disclaimer: I don't own anything at all in the Harry Potter universe.

Courage to Find the Strength

Chapter 10

After their last encounter in the forest, Draco and Hermione awkwardly ignored one another. Hermione used the peace and quiet of her own bed when her roommates fell asleep to do her thinking. Draco went back to being feared, but still completely ignored by his housemates. At least, the pranks didn't continue. Or the laughter. He didn't try sitting by any of them again in the Dining Hall nor did he allow Professor Snape to get the better of him in class. If anything, this experience was making him a better student. At least for the first week, he returned every night to the forest meadow in the hope she'd be there again, but he was disappointed every time. A few times, he caught her staring at him in class or while they were eating, but she never approached him. He told himself he wasn't a fan of awkward situations and that's why he never approached HER, but in reality he was more than a little scared. One thing was for certain, he didn't give a damn about Snape's edict that he stay away from her. Once or twice, he'd stopped by Professor McGonagal's classroom, but Hermione had already finished her detention for the night. Even though he didn't talk to her, she was constantly on his mind and in his dreams.

Hermione felt ashamed that she had no further information to share with Harry and Ron about their investigation into the Death Eaters. They'd found a few spare moments to communicate in secret, but the boys were both surprised by Hermione's sudden lack of interest. Even mentioning Malfoy's name put her in a bad mood, one that she refused to talk about. Things were slowing up, and Harry felt panicky. Finally, one day, Professor McGonagal asked Hermione to stay after class. Harry waited for her outside and listened to what the animagus had to say.

"Ms. Granger, I'm exceedingly glad you chose to follow the letter of your detention so precisely."

Hermione just smiled and nodded.

"Well, you'll be happy to note that today you may resume your contact with Harry Potter and Ron Weasley." The professor was practically beaming as she pronounced her news.

"Thank you, Professor." Hermione tried to sound enthused, but inwardly, she cringed. She knew this moment would arrive, and she'd be dreading it. She really didn't want to explain what was going on, especially to Harry or Ron who she knew would ask her a million questions. She sighed as she left the classroom, but then noticed Harry waiting for her.

"So, I guess we're allowed to talk to each other again," Harry excitedly hugged her.

"Yeah, it's really wonderful."

Harry ignored the lack of enthusiasm in her voice for the moment. "Ron and I have missed you so much, 'Mione. Ron especially."

Hermione looked up in surprise. "Ron has?"

Harry blushed and tried to back peddle, but luckily, he was saved by Ron scooping Hermione up in a huge embrace. "'MIONE!' he cried. "God, I've missed you!"

"Ron Weasley, put me down this instant!" but she was laughing. "I've missed you, too, my friend."

Ron's face turned red. "Really?"

Hermione punched him lightly on the shoulder. "Of course, I have."

Hermione's laugh abruptly stopped when she noticed the dark look Malfoy was giving her from down the hall. Ron and Harry also noticed, but Draco just turned and walked the other way.

"What's with him?" Ron angrily asked. "Is he giving you more problems, 'Mione?"

"What? Oh no. I've not really had a lot of contact with him for I guess about a month now."

"Good," Ron stated definitively.

"Come on, 'Mione," Harry said, tugging on her arm. "We've got lots to talk about. Let's head to the library. It should be empty about now. There's a little bit of time between classes."

Hermione nodded and followed them. Her friends hurried off, but she turned around to glance back. Malfoy was again watching her and as their eyes met, she thought she saw pain flicker across his face before his expressionless mask settled again. Then, she was around a corner and lost sight of him.

Harry and Ron prattled on about what they'd discovered about the Dark Lord and the resurgence of the Death Eaters, but Hermione hardly paid attention. Her mind was clouded by the ache in her heart. Harry hated seeing his friends in such misery. Hermione's aloofness was really affecting Ron who was experiencing just as much heartache as she was, and there was nothing Harry could do for either of them. He didn't have to be told that Hermione was in love with Malfoy. The way she stole glances at him. The way she became nervous when he was near. That dreamy look in her eyes when someone mentioned his name. It was the same for Ron about Hermione, but all the more tragic. Harry was sure that at least Malfoy returned those feelings, if only somewhat. Ron, thankfully, hadn't noticed. He hoped that Ron would be able to control his emotions, but underneath he knew it was only a matter of time before things came to a head. Harry made a mental note that he must speak to Hermione about it. Malfoy was turning into a powerful wizard, and Harry wanted to prevent a showdown between him and Ron at all costs.

As they were leaving for class, Harry pulled Hermione back and waited for Ron to gain a little distance. "'Mione, we need to talk."

"About what, Harry?"

"You and Malfoy."

Hermione's blood froze her veins. "What about me and Malfoy?"

"'Mione, we've been friends for far too long. You think I wouldn't notice when you're in love?"

Hermione stood speechless. "What are you talking about, Harry?"

He frowned. "Have you told Malfoy?"

"What? NO!" She grimaced at her inadvertent admission, but Harry continued on.

"I'm worried about Ron." Harry watched his friend head into the class, motioning for them to hurry up.

"Ron? Why?"

"You know for such a smart girl, you can be pretty blind sometimes," he said as gently as he could, but she still bristled.

"What about Ron?" she said through gritted teeth.

Harry took a breath and just blurted out the whole truth. "Ron's in love with you. If he finds out about you and Malfoy, he's likely to lose it completely."

Hermione was shocked for a moment before she regained her composure and coolly replied, "Well, then he's in luck because as far as I'm concerned, there's nothing going on between me and Malfoy."

Harry muttered, "Yeah, right," under his breath before he followed her into class.

Later that afternoon, Hermione was on the second floor heading back from her final classes to rest up before dinner when someone grabbed her and pulled her into the abandoned girls' lavatory.

"Draco! What are you doing?!" she cried, but kept her voice lowered.

Malfoy didn't reply, but just kissed her instead. For a moment, Hermione gave in and kissed him back before rudely shoving him off of her.

"I repeat myself. What do you think you're doing?" The intense look in his eyes almost frightened her.

"I don't know myself. I just needed to see you and since you're avoiding me, I didn't know what else to do," he frankly answered.

"Well, I don't appreciate you scaring me like that." She leaned up against the doorframe, arms crossed, and scowling. He laughed at her expression.

Hermione's displeasure cracked into a smile. "Stop that!"

"Sorry," he said all seriousness returning. "So, I bet you're floating on air now that you can be with your precious friends again."

Was he jealous? She thought. "I've really missed them. It's not fun going through life without your closest friends to talk to and do things with."

Hermione bit her lip at her insensitive words. For many weeks now, Draco had been utterly alone. He'd gone from the most popular guy in school to being a near nobody. But being with him now, it was like the weeks apart hadn't happened. Come to think of it, it was always this way with him. Just like Harry or Ron, Draco Malfoy had always been a constant in her life. His teasing and his pranks, his never-ending bullying or unkind remarks had been as much a part of her life as the adventures with her Gryffindor housemates. Somewhere along the road, she'd grown comfortable with him although she really didn't miss the ugly name-calling. If Harry was right, maybe that was why it was so easy to fall for him now.

Draco didn't interrupt her train of thought. Instead, he took the opportunity to study her facial features as she mulled whatever it was over. Over the last month, he'd lost everything, but somehow Hermione had remained a constant. Even though they'd tried to ignore each other, thoughts of her and memories of their encounters sustained him through the lonely times just as the echo of her words stopped him from groveling for his father's forgiveness. Grudgingly, though he would never say so to her, he admitted she was the only friend he really had left. That was why he had to talk to her now even if it just to hear her voice.

Finally, her silence began to wear on his nerves. "What're you thinking, Granger?"

"I was just thinking about how we were as kids and how we act now."

"It's not really that different; we were always attracted to one another, I think."

"What?!" she asked in complete surprise.

"Face it. We loved to hate one another. I liked making you cry, and you like making me pay for it." He smiled matter-of-factly.

"That's an awful thing to say, Draco Malfoy." Try as she might, she couldn't get the disapproving frown to stick, nor keep the twinkle out of her eye.

"What's going on with us, Hermione?" he bluntly asked. He'd been fearing the question for a long time now, and Draco was sick and tired of being afraid of anything. He secretly longed for the Gryffindor spirit even if he truly despised their righteous attitude.

"What are you talking about?" she answered evasively.

"This." He closed the space between them.

He leaned in to whisper in her ear. "This power between us. You can't tell me you don't feel it. You can't tell me you're not dreaming of me or thinking about me or wondering what it would be like to be with me."

Hermione felt her temperature rising. "Okay, I can admit it. But how many years have you told me just how different we are? That even being in the same school with me was an insult to your heritage. How many times did you call me a, a mudblood." Her voice was barely audible in her pain.

Draco backed off. She was right. Her station in life couldn't compare with his own. He laughed sarcastically, and she looked up alarmed. "Yeah, you're right, Granger, but you're forgetting I'm not a Malfoy anymore."

"You'll always be a Malfoy. It's who you were born to be."

"Oh, DAMN IT, don't start with that psycho-crap again! You sound just like my fucking father!"

"I SAID you'll always be a Malfoy. I didn't say a Death Eater."

His jaw clenched, and she could feel the frustration and tension in his wiry frame. He shoved a hand through his hair. "And what exactly does that mean? I use to have my whole life planned out in front of me, but now the world just seems so out of whack. I don't know anything anymore. I mean, look at me. I'm Draco Malfoy. That meant something. I was going places in the Dark Lord's army. I knew what I was supposed to be doing. Now, I'm a complete loser with no friends, no family, and I'm obsessing over a Gryffindor goody-goody whose best friends are that stupid Potter and moron Weasley."

He was pacing around the lavatory, but Hermione didn't notice. She was trying to recover from the sting of his words. He might as well have slapped her. "If that's really the way you feel, Malfoy," she sneered, trying to keep the tears from spilling over, "I guess we have nothing more to say to one another."

"'Mione, wait. I'm sorry."

Hermione couldn't believe her ears. Not only had he called her by the name only her closest friends and family used, but he'd also apologized.

"Sorry for what? Sorry that I'm so beneath you?! Whatever THIS," she gestured between the two of them, "is, it obviously can't be much if you really think so little of me. It's just like I told you, you really have no clue about who I am."

"Okay, so how do I find out who you really are?"

"I think you could start by understanding the world I come from."

He groaned. "You mean the muggle world."

"Yes, I mean the muggle world. You should understand what that means because being a witch isn't all that I am."

"Well, how am I supposed to find out? I'm stuck in this forsaken place unless my father actually grows a heart and springs me for the Holidays."

"Then come home with me." Hermione couldn't believe those words fell out of her mouth. She was about to take them back when to her shock he agreed.

"Fine, but you know you'll probably regret it." What the hell do I have to lose now? He thought.