Disclaimer: I don't own anything at all in the Harry Potter universe.
Courage to Find the Strength
Chapter 15
Somehow because of Harry and Ron's support, Hermione survived the rest of her vacation. But, it was a sick and pale looking young woman that got off the Hogwarts Express and re-entered the ancient halls. Ron had been very upset when jointly Harry and Hermione explained their entire letter theory and even more so when Hermione finally confessed to her affair and affections for Malfoy. But, to his credit, his love for her superceded all, and putting his own feelings aside, he refocused on relieving some of her agonizing pain.
Hermione had been in her room all of ten minutes dully wondering what to do with her time before she had to attend the Assembly when her two best friends entered. Somehow the rest of school had learned of the devastating fiasco and were giving her a wide berth.
"Hey, 'Mione," Harry quietly greeted, putting his arms around her and into his embrace she gratefully sank. Ron absently stoked her hair, his own soul choking on her pain. "You ready for the Assembly?"
She weakly smiled and nodded. As she entered the Great Hall, she tried her best to keep her head held high as she passed the Slytherin table. They were whispering and giggling furiously as she sat down at the Gryffindor table among her friends and housemates. Just once, Hermione got enough nerve to look at Malfoy. He was staring coldly and dispassionately at her. Pansy was standing behind him with her hands resting on his shoulders, and Crabbe and Goyle openly pointed and laughed at her.
"Don't look over there, 'Mione," Harry leaned in to whisper.
"Let's make a deal, 'Mione," Ron growled. "You don't look at him, and I won't go beat the living crap out of him this very instant."
Hermione managed a laugh, but it only made her feel more nauseous. The Assembly began. The students were welcomed back, and Hermione felt someone's eyes on her from the head table. As she looked up, she met Headmaster Dumbledore's kind eyes as he regarded her with much concern. He winked, and suddenly, she felt better, at least enough that she was able to hold some food down at supper later that evening.
After the meal, as Hermione was walking out of the Hall in the company of Ron and Harry, Dumbledore was waiting for her.
"Um, Ms. Granger, I was wondering if I might have a word with you." "Of course, sir." She nodded at Harry and Ron who backed away, still puzzled by this strange encounter.
The two headed up to the Headmaster's office, and he gestured for her to take a seat.
"Now, Ms. Granger, do you mind telling me what has you so troubled here at Hogwarts?"
Hermione looked up him, suddenly wary. "Nothing happened here AT Hogwarts, if that's what you mean, sir."
Dumbledore smiled kindly. "I wasn't under that impression at all, my dear. I rather thought it was a certain young student who might be giving you all this grief."
"Sir?" She stalled. She'd been back at Hogwarts not more than six hours and the Headmaster himself was grilling her.
"A certain Slytherin perhaps?" He prodded.
She let out a big sigh and slumped further into the chair. "So, how much do you know about me and Malfoy, sir?"
"I know enough, Ms. Granger, including that something dreadful must have happened to the two of you over the Holiday break."
"Yes, sir, something did."
"Care to illuminate an old man? I just want what's best for you, Ms. Granger. It tears my heart to see you so depressed."
Hermione smiled in gratitude. "Well, sir, we sort of broke up, not that we were ever really together. I mean, I thought things were different between us like they were going somewhere and then." she trailed off in pain and confusion.
He waited for her to continue.
"And then someone sent Ron a letter saying how much I loved him which I never sent at all. Ron's a brother to me, sir! Anyway, someone must have tipped him off that Ron and I were meeting in the park. No! It's not what you're thinking. I mean, Ron wanted to confess his feelings, but I stupidly thought we were just catching up on the Holidays, and that's when. Well, when he kissed me and Draco saw it all. I told Ron I didn't care for him in that manner and I rushed home to tell Malfoy, but he didn't want to listen. He, well," she stopped and choked on a sob. "He, um, packed his things and left. We haven't spoken since."
"Do you know where he went?" Dumbledore wasn't smiling any longer and looked deeply troubled.
"I guess back to Malfoy Manor, sir. His mom wrote him a letter wanting him to come home and make peace with his father. I just assumed that's where he headed."
"Tell, Ms. Granger. Did Mr. Malfoy lay a hand on you?"
Hermione's head shot up. "I, well, why do you ask, sir?"
"They must be old, but I can still spot the bruises."
Hermione bowed her head in shame. Dumbledore noticed her shoulders start to shake as her heartbroken sobs consumed her once more. In a moment, he had crossed his desk to the chair she was in and laid a comforting hand on her shoulder. With his other hand, he tilted her chin up.
"There, there, Ms. Granger. I will see to it that Mr. Malfoy is appropriately punished."
"No, sir!" She unexpectedly protested. His eyebrows arched in surprise. "Malfoy didn't mean, I mean, it's the only way he knows to deal with anger and betrayal. I know it was wrong of him, but I keep thinking if I had found him with Pansy or some other Slytherin, I like to think I would have listened, but I can't really say for certain I would have. Who knows what I would have said or done?"
"Ms. Granger, I don't want to hear another excuse for his deplorable behavior." Dumbledore's voice had a hard edge to it.
"I'm sorry, sir. Besides, there are other reasons why I don't want you to punish or expel him."
"Hmmm, and what might those be, my dear?" he asked, his curiosity piqued.
"Well, sir, Harry, Ron, and I know the Death Eaters are up to something particularly foul. If Draco's teamed up with them again, he still remains our best chance to find out what's going on and stop them."
"Ms. Granger, you never cease to amaze me. If what you say is true, I must caution you that you are indeed playing with fire."
She grinned. "It seems to be my specialty of late."
He laughed. "Very well, I've always trusted your and your friends' instincts, but I will be keeping a close eye on the situation. If Mr. Malfoy so much as brushes up against you in the hallway, I will have him summarily expelled." Hermione rose to excuse herself. "Thank you, sir. I promise to keep you informed."
He nodded, and she went off in search of Harry and Ron.
The next day, Hermione shared her first class with Malfoy and there was only Harry there for support. It was an advanced Defense Against the Dark Arts class. Everything was going relatively smoothly until the new teacher randomly drew two names to demonstrate a new attack and defense. Against all odds, the names were Hermione and Malfoy. The entire class drew a collective breath.
"Um, sir," Harry interrupted. "Hermione isn't feeling well today, and it would be a grave injustice to your teaching abilities to have her demonstrate. However, I would be more than willing to stand in her place.
"Very well, Mr. Potter. It makes no difference," the professor responded.
"So, you're defending the little Gryffindor slut," Malfoy hissed as the two squared off.
"Watch your mouth, Malfoy. You've got it all wrong."
"So I discovered," he drawled.
"No, you idiot. She loved you, and you broke her heart."
"You expect me to believe that crap. My own eyes didn't betray me. She DID!"
"No, Ron kissed HER, not the other way around."
"It didn't look like she was stopping him."
"GENTLEMEN! Please! Now, demonstrate what I've just shown you," the professor commanded, annoyed with their little conversation.
"I'll pay that whoring bitch back if it's the last thing I do. She's nothing but a stupid" and the word he used was so awful that Harry's mouth fell open. Instead of attacking Malfoy as the teacher wanted, he launched himself at the Slytherin much as Ron Weasley would have.
Hermione's eyes almost popped out of her head. Harry had Draco down on the floor and was beating the living daylights out of him, punching him repeatedly in the face in a frenzied bezerker rage. Before she could spell them into submission, the equally stunned teacher reacted and froze them both. In a few moments, the professor had dragged the immobile forms of both boys out of the classroom and up to the Headmaster's office. No one said a word after that, but all eyes were fixed on Hermione.
***
"Oh my God! You've got to be kidding me! Not Harry!" Hagrid said, leaning his big bulk against the wall for support because of the shock.
"Yeah, and it gets better," Hermione darkly replied. "So, then, the Professor unfreezes them in the Headmaster's office where they behaved for all of two seconds when, from what Ron found out, Malfoy jumped on Harry and slammed his face down on Dumbledore's desk. Harry responded in like fashion, and they made a chaotic mess of the office. They say it was the first time anyone could remember that Dumbledore bellowed. He knocked both of them out with a spell, and they've been with Madame Pomfrey ever since. I don't think either one's awake yet."
"So you're headed that way to check on Harry?" he asked, wiping a hand over his face. "Do you want me to go with you? I still owe that little bastard a thing or two."
"Hagrid!" Hermione grinned in shock. "No, let me go alone. I don't think the Headmaster would appreciate any more problems today."
"Yeah, well, if I see that blasted Slytherin, I'll teach him what real problems are," Hagrid walked off, muttering unspeakables under his breath.
Hermione entered the sick room and sat on the edge of the cot. Madame Pomfrey left her alone to give them some privacy.
"Oh, Harry! Why'd you have to go and do that? I can take care of myself." Her friend was still unconscious from the spell, but Madame Pomfrey had healed the split lip and black eye Malfoy had given him. Thinking of the other participant, Hermione glanced over at the similarly unconscious form. After a moment, she walked over to him, wetted a cloth in the water basin, and wiped down his face again. The gashes were stitched shut, but some of them still oozed a little.
"Malfoy, I know you can't hear me, but I want to explain something to you, and I know you won't listen to me if you're awake." She took a deep breath.
"There is absolutely nothing going on between me and Ron Weasley. What you saw was a tragic mistake. Someone forged a letter from me and sent it to him. In it were professions of love. But, there is only one man I've ever given my heart to, and it's not Ron. I can't believe you'd ever think I'd do anything to hurt you. I'm so sorry you feel you can't trust me, but what you're doing is wrong. Very wrong! I need you to stop because I don't think I can handle much more of this. It feels like you ripped my soul out, and you're flaunting it in front of everyone. I will never believe you didn't feel the same way about me that I do for you because I saw it in your eyes. Some day, I hope you realize the terrible mistake you made by pushing me away. I don't hate you. I don't think I'll ever again be able to, but if you come after my friends again, I will take you down."
Hermione stood up and defiantly walked out of the room. After the echo of her footsteps faded away, Malfoy opened his eyes and angrily brushed the few errant tears away.
Courage to Find the Strength
Chapter 15
Somehow because of Harry and Ron's support, Hermione survived the rest of her vacation. But, it was a sick and pale looking young woman that got off the Hogwarts Express and re-entered the ancient halls. Ron had been very upset when jointly Harry and Hermione explained their entire letter theory and even more so when Hermione finally confessed to her affair and affections for Malfoy. But, to his credit, his love for her superceded all, and putting his own feelings aside, he refocused on relieving some of her agonizing pain.
Hermione had been in her room all of ten minutes dully wondering what to do with her time before she had to attend the Assembly when her two best friends entered. Somehow the rest of school had learned of the devastating fiasco and were giving her a wide berth.
"Hey, 'Mione," Harry quietly greeted, putting his arms around her and into his embrace she gratefully sank. Ron absently stoked her hair, his own soul choking on her pain. "You ready for the Assembly?"
She weakly smiled and nodded. As she entered the Great Hall, she tried her best to keep her head held high as she passed the Slytherin table. They were whispering and giggling furiously as she sat down at the Gryffindor table among her friends and housemates. Just once, Hermione got enough nerve to look at Malfoy. He was staring coldly and dispassionately at her. Pansy was standing behind him with her hands resting on his shoulders, and Crabbe and Goyle openly pointed and laughed at her.
"Don't look over there, 'Mione," Harry leaned in to whisper.
"Let's make a deal, 'Mione," Ron growled. "You don't look at him, and I won't go beat the living crap out of him this very instant."
Hermione managed a laugh, but it only made her feel more nauseous. The Assembly began. The students were welcomed back, and Hermione felt someone's eyes on her from the head table. As she looked up, she met Headmaster Dumbledore's kind eyes as he regarded her with much concern. He winked, and suddenly, she felt better, at least enough that she was able to hold some food down at supper later that evening.
After the meal, as Hermione was walking out of the Hall in the company of Ron and Harry, Dumbledore was waiting for her.
"Um, Ms. Granger, I was wondering if I might have a word with you." "Of course, sir." She nodded at Harry and Ron who backed away, still puzzled by this strange encounter.
The two headed up to the Headmaster's office, and he gestured for her to take a seat.
"Now, Ms. Granger, do you mind telling me what has you so troubled here at Hogwarts?"
Hermione looked up him, suddenly wary. "Nothing happened here AT Hogwarts, if that's what you mean, sir."
Dumbledore smiled kindly. "I wasn't under that impression at all, my dear. I rather thought it was a certain young student who might be giving you all this grief."
"Sir?" She stalled. She'd been back at Hogwarts not more than six hours and the Headmaster himself was grilling her.
"A certain Slytherin perhaps?" He prodded.
She let out a big sigh and slumped further into the chair. "So, how much do you know about me and Malfoy, sir?"
"I know enough, Ms. Granger, including that something dreadful must have happened to the two of you over the Holiday break."
"Yes, sir, something did."
"Care to illuminate an old man? I just want what's best for you, Ms. Granger. It tears my heart to see you so depressed."
Hermione smiled in gratitude. "Well, sir, we sort of broke up, not that we were ever really together. I mean, I thought things were different between us like they were going somewhere and then." she trailed off in pain and confusion.
He waited for her to continue.
"And then someone sent Ron a letter saying how much I loved him which I never sent at all. Ron's a brother to me, sir! Anyway, someone must have tipped him off that Ron and I were meeting in the park. No! It's not what you're thinking. I mean, Ron wanted to confess his feelings, but I stupidly thought we were just catching up on the Holidays, and that's when. Well, when he kissed me and Draco saw it all. I told Ron I didn't care for him in that manner and I rushed home to tell Malfoy, but he didn't want to listen. He, well," she stopped and choked on a sob. "He, um, packed his things and left. We haven't spoken since."
"Do you know where he went?" Dumbledore wasn't smiling any longer and looked deeply troubled.
"I guess back to Malfoy Manor, sir. His mom wrote him a letter wanting him to come home and make peace with his father. I just assumed that's where he headed."
"Tell, Ms. Granger. Did Mr. Malfoy lay a hand on you?"
Hermione's head shot up. "I, well, why do you ask, sir?"
"They must be old, but I can still spot the bruises."
Hermione bowed her head in shame. Dumbledore noticed her shoulders start to shake as her heartbroken sobs consumed her once more. In a moment, he had crossed his desk to the chair she was in and laid a comforting hand on her shoulder. With his other hand, he tilted her chin up.
"There, there, Ms. Granger. I will see to it that Mr. Malfoy is appropriately punished."
"No, sir!" She unexpectedly protested. His eyebrows arched in surprise. "Malfoy didn't mean, I mean, it's the only way he knows to deal with anger and betrayal. I know it was wrong of him, but I keep thinking if I had found him with Pansy or some other Slytherin, I like to think I would have listened, but I can't really say for certain I would have. Who knows what I would have said or done?"
"Ms. Granger, I don't want to hear another excuse for his deplorable behavior." Dumbledore's voice had a hard edge to it.
"I'm sorry, sir. Besides, there are other reasons why I don't want you to punish or expel him."
"Hmmm, and what might those be, my dear?" he asked, his curiosity piqued.
"Well, sir, Harry, Ron, and I know the Death Eaters are up to something particularly foul. If Draco's teamed up with them again, he still remains our best chance to find out what's going on and stop them."
"Ms. Granger, you never cease to amaze me. If what you say is true, I must caution you that you are indeed playing with fire."
She grinned. "It seems to be my specialty of late."
He laughed. "Very well, I've always trusted your and your friends' instincts, but I will be keeping a close eye on the situation. If Mr. Malfoy so much as brushes up against you in the hallway, I will have him summarily expelled." Hermione rose to excuse herself. "Thank you, sir. I promise to keep you informed."
He nodded, and she went off in search of Harry and Ron.
The next day, Hermione shared her first class with Malfoy and there was only Harry there for support. It was an advanced Defense Against the Dark Arts class. Everything was going relatively smoothly until the new teacher randomly drew two names to demonstrate a new attack and defense. Against all odds, the names were Hermione and Malfoy. The entire class drew a collective breath.
"Um, sir," Harry interrupted. "Hermione isn't feeling well today, and it would be a grave injustice to your teaching abilities to have her demonstrate. However, I would be more than willing to stand in her place.
"Very well, Mr. Potter. It makes no difference," the professor responded.
"So, you're defending the little Gryffindor slut," Malfoy hissed as the two squared off.
"Watch your mouth, Malfoy. You've got it all wrong."
"So I discovered," he drawled.
"No, you idiot. She loved you, and you broke her heart."
"You expect me to believe that crap. My own eyes didn't betray me. She DID!"
"No, Ron kissed HER, not the other way around."
"It didn't look like she was stopping him."
"GENTLEMEN! Please! Now, demonstrate what I've just shown you," the professor commanded, annoyed with their little conversation.
"I'll pay that whoring bitch back if it's the last thing I do. She's nothing but a stupid" and the word he used was so awful that Harry's mouth fell open. Instead of attacking Malfoy as the teacher wanted, he launched himself at the Slytherin much as Ron Weasley would have.
Hermione's eyes almost popped out of her head. Harry had Draco down on the floor and was beating the living daylights out of him, punching him repeatedly in the face in a frenzied bezerker rage. Before she could spell them into submission, the equally stunned teacher reacted and froze them both. In a few moments, the professor had dragged the immobile forms of both boys out of the classroom and up to the Headmaster's office. No one said a word after that, but all eyes were fixed on Hermione.
***
"Oh my God! You've got to be kidding me! Not Harry!" Hagrid said, leaning his big bulk against the wall for support because of the shock.
"Yeah, and it gets better," Hermione darkly replied. "So, then, the Professor unfreezes them in the Headmaster's office where they behaved for all of two seconds when, from what Ron found out, Malfoy jumped on Harry and slammed his face down on Dumbledore's desk. Harry responded in like fashion, and they made a chaotic mess of the office. They say it was the first time anyone could remember that Dumbledore bellowed. He knocked both of them out with a spell, and they've been with Madame Pomfrey ever since. I don't think either one's awake yet."
"So you're headed that way to check on Harry?" he asked, wiping a hand over his face. "Do you want me to go with you? I still owe that little bastard a thing or two."
"Hagrid!" Hermione grinned in shock. "No, let me go alone. I don't think the Headmaster would appreciate any more problems today."
"Yeah, well, if I see that blasted Slytherin, I'll teach him what real problems are," Hagrid walked off, muttering unspeakables under his breath.
Hermione entered the sick room and sat on the edge of the cot. Madame Pomfrey left her alone to give them some privacy.
"Oh, Harry! Why'd you have to go and do that? I can take care of myself." Her friend was still unconscious from the spell, but Madame Pomfrey had healed the split lip and black eye Malfoy had given him. Thinking of the other participant, Hermione glanced over at the similarly unconscious form. After a moment, she walked over to him, wetted a cloth in the water basin, and wiped down his face again. The gashes were stitched shut, but some of them still oozed a little.
"Malfoy, I know you can't hear me, but I want to explain something to you, and I know you won't listen to me if you're awake." She took a deep breath.
"There is absolutely nothing going on between me and Ron Weasley. What you saw was a tragic mistake. Someone forged a letter from me and sent it to him. In it were professions of love. But, there is only one man I've ever given my heart to, and it's not Ron. I can't believe you'd ever think I'd do anything to hurt you. I'm so sorry you feel you can't trust me, but what you're doing is wrong. Very wrong! I need you to stop because I don't think I can handle much more of this. It feels like you ripped my soul out, and you're flaunting it in front of everyone. I will never believe you didn't feel the same way about me that I do for you because I saw it in your eyes. Some day, I hope you realize the terrible mistake you made by pushing me away. I don't hate you. I don't think I'll ever again be able to, but if you come after my friends again, I will take you down."
Hermione stood up and defiantly walked out of the room. After the echo of her footsteps faded away, Malfoy opened his eyes and angrily brushed the few errant tears away.
