Disclaimer: I don't own anything at all in the Harry Potter universe.
Courage to Find the Strength
Chapter 19
Renouncing Voldemort and his legion of Death Eaters would be no simple task for Draco Malfoy. As sure as the mark on his arm was permanent, the rash decisions he'd made in bitterness and heartbreak would have far-reaching and lasting consequences just as Hermione had predicted.
Draco violently drew back the curtains on his bed in the Slytherin dormitory, flopped down on his plush brocade coverlet, and punched the nearest pillow with his clenched fist. Despite the threat of tears brimming in his troubled gray eyes, his resolve was of the strongest steel. Nothing would drive Hermione away from him. He was a Malfoy and a Slytherin, and he'd learned there was nothing he couldn't accomplish. He would renounce them. He would! Then, Hermione would take him back, and he'd show them all. She was worth all of it, all the pain, all the struggle, and definitely all the pleasure, he smiled. He'd been so wrong about her. With her by his side, he would rule the world. Voldemort be damned! Draco was feeling more confident by the minute, his spirit soaring despite the setback this evening. Yes, as of right that moment, he was free despite the Dark Mark. No one would control him!
Then, it hit happened. The Dark Mark on his arm turned black, and Draco felt the strangest feeling. It was as though his mind clouded over, and nothing else mattered. Dimly, he became aware of walking along the hallways of Malfoy Manor and greeting the other Death Eaters. Then, his father was there, and he was again presented to Lord Voldemort.
In what seemed only a short time later, the sun rose, and Malfoy woke up back at Hogwarts. He stumbled out of bed, got dressed, and grabbed his books. Outwardly, he gave all the appearances of being Draco Malfoy, but inside, he felt weak and foggy, and for the first time in a very long time, unsure of himself.
***
Hermione spent a sleepless night trying to hold back the pain. She knew Draco was and always would be trouble, but something kept drawing her back to him. Twice now, he'd struck her violently, and reason told her she should have left then and forever. At the very least, she should have let Harry and Ron continue on the case without her. Ron, she thought. Poor, sweet Ron Weasley. What would have happened if she'd returned his affections? But, Ron could never make her heart flutter like Draco. She'd never feel that challenge with Ron, that spirit that rose in her when Malfoy walked in a room. At times, she intensely hated him just as now she intensely loved him, but always with him, she was alive.
By the time the dawn rose, Hermione was emotionally and physically exhausted. The tears had gone as silently as they'd come. She felt much as she did when she arrived back at Hogwarts after the Christmas break a few weeks ago. Weak and frail, but this time she knew she would rebound. Leaving Draco was the right thing to do. After all, he'd made his choice, and so had she.
It's funny how so much resolve, so many smart decisions to put one foot in front of the other can change in the blink of an eye. Just as Hermione vowed to do the intelligent, logical thing and put the past behind her, all it took was one look at the blank, dead eyes of Malfoy at breakfast the next morning, and her resolve melted away like ice on a summer day. The gears in her head stopped in mid-motion and started turning in a different direction as her heart once and for all took control.
***
"What do you mean, you've got a plan?" Harry asked in a hushed voice in the Library after dinner that evening.
"Wait a minute! I want to know WHAT happened in that bloody classroom between you two last night!" Ron's face was going from an angry shade of red to an enraged shade of purple.
"I told you, Ron, I found out Malfoy was a Death Eater!" Hermione snapped back.
"Yeah, but to do that, you'd have to get a bloody decent look at his arm. And you'd have me believe he just rolled it up and showed it to you?! I'm not stupid, 'Mione!"
"Then, what do you think happened, Ronald Weasley?! And if you answer that, I'll make it so you don't talk for a week or possibly longer because it didn't!"
Harry mutely watched the sharp banter back and forth between his friends. His was trying to stifle his own rage because it wouldn't do well to express it here and now. Fred and George had confessed their secret about the classroom once to him as well. There was nothing extraordinary about it other than all the ghosts and even Peeves avoided it like the plague for some reason no one knew, and they weren't telling. A little soundproofing and a blackening spell made it a perfect hideout except that is was dangerously near one of Filch's favorite hangouts, and therefore, only used for special occasions.
"Guys, please! If you get any louder, we'll all be tossed out of here. So, 'Mione, you're telling us something happened to Malfoy after you guys split up last night?"
"Split up, split up after what?" Ron darkly mumbled.
"Shut up, Ron," Hermione mumbled back giving him a dirty look. "Yes, he's definitely different today, and not just because I found out he's a Death Eater. He was like a zombie all day. Even Neville falling down like he did in Potions class, and Malfoy did nothing. He just stared straight ahead. I think even Snape was surprised."
"Yeah, Snape sure had his eye on him today," Harry agreed.
"Well, I think Malfoy's under You-Know-Who's spell. He told me he didn't want to become one of them anymore, and," Hermione was cut off by an outburst by Ron.
"And you believed him?!" Ron shouted. "That Slytherin is nothing but a dirty, rotten, no-good liar!" With that, he slammed his books down and stormed out of the library.
"That's IT! Out! Out! All of you OUT!" Madam Pince shooed them out of the library and warned them not to come back that night.
As Harry and Hermione were leaving, both embarrassed, Harry leaned over and said to her, "So, what's your plan?"
"I've got to go to Dumbledore. It's the only way."
"But, Hermione," Harry protested.
"It'll be all right. He already knows the situation between Malfoy and me. After all he's done for us, I have to believe he'll help us this time, too. You know how much he fought against You-Know-Who and against the Death Eaters. He HAS to help us."
"Okay, if you think it best," he reluctantly agreed. Now that Hermione and Malfoy were on the outs once again, Harry felt they had no choice left but to turn to the Headmaster of Hogwarts.
***
"Yes, Ms. Granger, you wished to speak with me?" Dumbledore leaned over his great desk at the girl taking a seat in front of him. "May I get you anything? A lemon drop, perhaps?"
"No. No, thank you, Headmaster. I wanted to talk to you about something. It has to do with Draco Malfoy." Hermione twisted her robes in her hands, uncharacteristically nervous.
Dumbledore's face darkened and an unfamiliar glint came into his eyes. "Has he hurt you, young lady?"
"Yes and no, sir. I mean, not physically, no. I think he's hurt himself." Hermione swallowed, not sure how to continue.
"Go on," Dumbledore prodded.
"I might as well just come out with it. You see, sir, after the events at Christmas, Draco went home, and he. Well, I don't want to see him expelled for this, sir. Please, promise me, you'll help him and not punish him any more because I've got to believe he's sorry, and it must be just awful what he's going through," Hermione gushed out. She felt like she was about to flip a coin, and the outcome would determine if Draco lived or died.
"Ms. Granger, I can make no such promise," but at the stricken look in her eyes he softened," but I shall endeavor to do my best to help the young man as best I can. Believe it or not, but I think Mr. Malfoy is a bright enough lad and could possibly turn out all right."
"Strange. That's basically what Harry said."
"So, now, my dear girl, what is the problem?"
"Draco, well, he went and made himself a Death Eater."
Complete silence filled the room, and Dumbledore stared at her for a long while. Finally, after an eternity, he asked, "Are you quite certain?"
"Yes, sir. He told me so himself, but then he told me that he was very sorry to have done it and that he wanted to renounce them."
"What else did Mr. Malfoy tell you?"
Hermione searched Dumbledore's face for a clue as to what answer he wanted, but it occurred to her that frank honesty was probably the best way to go. She had a feeling he knew the answer anyway.
"He told me he loved me. That he belonged to me."
Dumbledore let out a long sigh. "Let's hope so, Ms. Granger, because to overcome the Dark Mark, it had better be true."
"So, you can help him?" Hermione asked anxiously.
"Yes, but he has to truly want it. He'll have to come here on his own."
"Well, that's where we might have a problem, sir."
"And why is that, Ms. Granger?"
"Because I think he's under You-Know, I mean, Voldemort's spell." She remembered how Dumbledore insisted on someone calling Voldemort by his name in his presence.
"That does complicate things, doesn't it? But, nevertheless, it still remains that of his own free will, he must come to me for help. Otherwise, there is nothing I can do."
Hermione stood up as if dismissed. "Yes, sir. And thank you."
"Remember, Ms. Granger, of his own free will."
"Yes, sir, I'll remember." With that, Hermione left his office with the gears of her brilliant mind spinning at the rate of a million turns per second, but deep down, her heart sank.
Courage to Find the Strength
Chapter 19
Renouncing Voldemort and his legion of Death Eaters would be no simple task for Draco Malfoy. As sure as the mark on his arm was permanent, the rash decisions he'd made in bitterness and heartbreak would have far-reaching and lasting consequences just as Hermione had predicted.
Draco violently drew back the curtains on his bed in the Slytherin dormitory, flopped down on his plush brocade coverlet, and punched the nearest pillow with his clenched fist. Despite the threat of tears brimming in his troubled gray eyes, his resolve was of the strongest steel. Nothing would drive Hermione away from him. He was a Malfoy and a Slytherin, and he'd learned there was nothing he couldn't accomplish. He would renounce them. He would! Then, Hermione would take him back, and he'd show them all. She was worth all of it, all the pain, all the struggle, and definitely all the pleasure, he smiled. He'd been so wrong about her. With her by his side, he would rule the world. Voldemort be damned! Draco was feeling more confident by the minute, his spirit soaring despite the setback this evening. Yes, as of right that moment, he was free despite the Dark Mark. No one would control him!
Then, it hit happened. The Dark Mark on his arm turned black, and Draco felt the strangest feeling. It was as though his mind clouded over, and nothing else mattered. Dimly, he became aware of walking along the hallways of Malfoy Manor and greeting the other Death Eaters. Then, his father was there, and he was again presented to Lord Voldemort.
In what seemed only a short time later, the sun rose, and Malfoy woke up back at Hogwarts. He stumbled out of bed, got dressed, and grabbed his books. Outwardly, he gave all the appearances of being Draco Malfoy, but inside, he felt weak and foggy, and for the first time in a very long time, unsure of himself.
***
Hermione spent a sleepless night trying to hold back the pain. She knew Draco was and always would be trouble, but something kept drawing her back to him. Twice now, he'd struck her violently, and reason told her she should have left then and forever. At the very least, she should have let Harry and Ron continue on the case without her. Ron, she thought. Poor, sweet Ron Weasley. What would have happened if she'd returned his affections? But, Ron could never make her heart flutter like Draco. She'd never feel that challenge with Ron, that spirit that rose in her when Malfoy walked in a room. At times, she intensely hated him just as now she intensely loved him, but always with him, she was alive.
By the time the dawn rose, Hermione was emotionally and physically exhausted. The tears had gone as silently as they'd come. She felt much as she did when she arrived back at Hogwarts after the Christmas break a few weeks ago. Weak and frail, but this time she knew she would rebound. Leaving Draco was the right thing to do. After all, he'd made his choice, and so had she.
It's funny how so much resolve, so many smart decisions to put one foot in front of the other can change in the blink of an eye. Just as Hermione vowed to do the intelligent, logical thing and put the past behind her, all it took was one look at the blank, dead eyes of Malfoy at breakfast the next morning, and her resolve melted away like ice on a summer day. The gears in her head stopped in mid-motion and started turning in a different direction as her heart once and for all took control.
***
"What do you mean, you've got a plan?" Harry asked in a hushed voice in the Library after dinner that evening.
"Wait a minute! I want to know WHAT happened in that bloody classroom between you two last night!" Ron's face was going from an angry shade of red to an enraged shade of purple.
"I told you, Ron, I found out Malfoy was a Death Eater!" Hermione snapped back.
"Yeah, but to do that, you'd have to get a bloody decent look at his arm. And you'd have me believe he just rolled it up and showed it to you?! I'm not stupid, 'Mione!"
"Then, what do you think happened, Ronald Weasley?! And if you answer that, I'll make it so you don't talk for a week or possibly longer because it didn't!"
Harry mutely watched the sharp banter back and forth between his friends. His was trying to stifle his own rage because it wouldn't do well to express it here and now. Fred and George had confessed their secret about the classroom once to him as well. There was nothing extraordinary about it other than all the ghosts and even Peeves avoided it like the plague for some reason no one knew, and they weren't telling. A little soundproofing and a blackening spell made it a perfect hideout except that is was dangerously near one of Filch's favorite hangouts, and therefore, only used for special occasions.
"Guys, please! If you get any louder, we'll all be tossed out of here. So, 'Mione, you're telling us something happened to Malfoy after you guys split up last night?"
"Split up, split up after what?" Ron darkly mumbled.
"Shut up, Ron," Hermione mumbled back giving him a dirty look. "Yes, he's definitely different today, and not just because I found out he's a Death Eater. He was like a zombie all day. Even Neville falling down like he did in Potions class, and Malfoy did nothing. He just stared straight ahead. I think even Snape was surprised."
"Yeah, Snape sure had his eye on him today," Harry agreed.
"Well, I think Malfoy's under You-Know-Who's spell. He told me he didn't want to become one of them anymore, and," Hermione was cut off by an outburst by Ron.
"And you believed him?!" Ron shouted. "That Slytherin is nothing but a dirty, rotten, no-good liar!" With that, he slammed his books down and stormed out of the library.
"That's IT! Out! Out! All of you OUT!" Madam Pince shooed them out of the library and warned them not to come back that night.
As Harry and Hermione were leaving, both embarrassed, Harry leaned over and said to her, "So, what's your plan?"
"I've got to go to Dumbledore. It's the only way."
"But, Hermione," Harry protested.
"It'll be all right. He already knows the situation between Malfoy and me. After all he's done for us, I have to believe he'll help us this time, too. You know how much he fought against You-Know-Who and against the Death Eaters. He HAS to help us."
"Okay, if you think it best," he reluctantly agreed. Now that Hermione and Malfoy were on the outs once again, Harry felt they had no choice left but to turn to the Headmaster of Hogwarts.
***
"Yes, Ms. Granger, you wished to speak with me?" Dumbledore leaned over his great desk at the girl taking a seat in front of him. "May I get you anything? A lemon drop, perhaps?"
"No. No, thank you, Headmaster. I wanted to talk to you about something. It has to do with Draco Malfoy." Hermione twisted her robes in her hands, uncharacteristically nervous.
Dumbledore's face darkened and an unfamiliar glint came into his eyes. "Has he hurt you, young lady?"
"Yes and no, sir. I mean, not physically, no. I think he's hurt himself." Hermione swallowed, not sure how to continue.
"Go on," Dumbledore prodded.
"I might as well just come out with it. You see, sir, after the events at Christmas, Draco went home, and he. Well, I don't want to see him expelled for this, sir. Please, promise me, you'll help him and not punish him any more because I've got to believe he's sorry, and it must be just awful what he's going through," Hermione gushed out. She felt like she was about to flip a coin, and the outcome would determine if Draco lived or died.
"Ms. Granger, I can make no such promise," but at the stricken look in her eyes he softened," but I shall endeavor to do my best to help the young man as best I can. Believe it or not, but I think Mr. Malfoy is a bright enough lad and could possibly turn out all right."
"Strange. That's basically what Harry said."
"So, now, my dear girl, what is the problem?"
"Draco, well, he went and made himself a Death Eater."
Complete silence filled the room, and Dumbledore stared at her for a long while. Finally, after an eternity, he asked, "Are you quite certain?"
"Yes, sir. He told me so himself, but then he told me that he was very sorry to have done it and that he wanted to renounce them."
"What else did Mr. Malfoy tell you?"
Hermione searched Dumbledore's face for a clue as to what answer he wanted, but it occurred to her that frank honesty was probably the best way to go. She had a feeling he knew the answer anyway.
"He told me he loved me. That he belonged to me."
Dumbledore let out a long sigh. "Let's hope so, Ms. Granger, because to overcome the Dark Mark, it had better be true."
"So, you can help him?" Hermione asked anxiously.
"Yes, but he has to truly want it. He'll have to come here on his own."
"Well, that's where we might have a problem, sir."
"And why is that, Ms. Granger?"
"Because I think he's under You-Know, I mean, Voldemort's spell." She remembered how Dumbledore insisted on someone calling Voldemort by his name in his presence.
"That does complicate things, doesn't it? But, nevertheless, it still remains that of his own free will, he must come to me for help. Otherwise, there is nothing I can do."
Hermione stood up as if dismissed. "Yes, sir. And thank you."
"Remember, Ms. Granger, of his own free will."
"Yes, sir, I'll remember." With that, Hermione left his office with the gears of her brilliant mind spinning at the rate of a million turns per second, but deep down, her heart sank.
