The epilogue is coming soon. At the end of this chapter is a special…speech, I suppose…to all of you guys reading, and I hope you'll seriously take it to heart.
*This is my interpretation of the Fidelius Charm, please remember. I don't actually show them performing the charm, but there were a few complications I had to work out, so please just bear with me if it doesn't make sense with canon – this is my fiction.*
The Story of Lily
Golden slumber kiss your eyes,
Smiles await you when you rise.
Sleep, pretty baby,
Do not cry,
And I'll sing you a lullaby.
Care you know not,
Therefore sleep,
While I o'er you watch do keep.
Sleep,
Pretty darling,
Do not cry,
And I will sing a lullaby.
~ "Golden Dreams" – Ancient Lullaby
Chapter 22: Harry
"Remus," Lily gasped.
He was not the happy young man she had remembered – he was tired, his face was gray, his hair thinning. Circles were under his light eyes. Nevertheless, she went forward to hug him. Limply, he hugged her back, and then released her, and she beckoned him inside the warm Potter mansion, blinking back tears.
"James! Sirius! Peter! Remus is here!" She turned back to him and took his cloak, looking at him with curiosity. "How are you, Remus?"
He didn't get a chance to answer because just then James, Peter, and Sirius entered the foyer. Remus froze, looking at them all over Lily's head. She stepped aside, looking down the hall at the men, with Gwen in the back. All four had expressionless faces, and all four were staring at Remus as he boldly stared back.
Lily was completely puzzled. What had happened between the men that had made them feel this way towards their fellow Marauder?
"James?" she asked quietly looking at him. A sudden burst of anger and confusion went through her. "What's happening here?"
She moved towards Remus and put her hand on his arm. He flinched slightly, but didn't look at her.
"Sirius?"
No answer.
"Peter?"
Silence.
"What is going on here?" she demanded loudly. "Answer me, one of you!"
"Lily," James warned, "don't-"
"James!" she cut in. James and the others felt a rare bout of redheaded temper coming from the usually docile Lily. "You four are best friends!" she continued. "What happened?!"
No one answered again, and Gwen, her heels clinking against the floor, walked over to her best friend. "Lily," she whispered urgently, "stop it. You don't know anything-"
"Oh, and you do?" she cried, stepping back from Gwen, who looked hurt. "You think you bloody know everything!"
"Lily! Stop it! What are you saying?" Gwen cried.
Lily glared at her – crystal blue eyes against bottle green eyes. Uncomfortable thoughts spread over her brain…Thoughts that had come up before, but she had always banished…That slight, ever-present jealousy towards Gwen, that feeling of being left out, all because Lily ignored her friends for three years during school…
She shook her head, determined not to break down, and turned towards her husband, her temper rising again. "Tell me what the hell is going on, right now, James Potter, or I'll-"
He moved away from his friends and took her by the arm, the force of his grip making her cry out, and he pulled her into the kitchen.
"Lily, why didn't you tell me you invited him?" he whispered, his brown eyes glinting. His tone scared her. She wrenched her arm out of his grasp and rubbed it. For a second, she felt like bursting into tears, but wouldn't, and she lifted her chin. "James Potter, if you don't give me a reason why you don't want him here, I'll leave. I seriously shall. Why does Gwen know and I don't?"
"Lily," James began, "this is really hard for me to tell you, but…But it's because…It's because Remus is sick. Mentally."
She released her Adviser powers and warnings went off in her head. He was lying.
"James, don't ever lie to me," she whispered coldly, "it doesn't work, remember?"
He paled.
"Now, why don't you tell me the real reason you don't want him here? I'm giving you a chance to tell me, because otherwise I'll find out myself, and it won't be fun, having me root 'round your brain."
He glared at her. "Fine, you want to know? It's because he's a Death Eater, okay?"
"What?" she said, looking at him with disbelief. "What proof do you have of that?"
"We don't know for sure, but we think he is."
She set her jaw. "Oh, you think he is? So you're being a bastard to him when he might not be one? My God, James, use your bloody head! Lord Voldemort killed Mary Katherine! Or have you forgotten?"
She fixed him with an icy glare (which was odd, because Lily had only ever given four or five icy glares in her life), snorted disdainfully, and pushed past him, out into the foyer. Lily walked out just in time to see the front door slam shut. She raced towards it and flung it open, catching Remus as he was about to Disapparate.
"Remus!" she cried, breathless, the cold air stinging her throat. "Wait, please."
He looked at her, his jaw set. Lily didn't miss the hurt and betrayal in his eyes. "Remus, they don't – they don't really believe-"
"Don't they?" he said calmly, and forced a tight smile. "They don't want me, Lily, and I certainly don't want to be with them when I'm not welcome."
"Remus, stop, please," Lily begged. "Just come inside, and in front of everyone, I can use my powers to test you." He was silent. "Please, Remus," she said again. "For me?"
He sighed, still tense. "Only for a moment."
"Thank you," she said, smiling, and took his hand and led him into the house. James had joined Peter, Gwen, and Sirius talking in a small circle.
"I'm going to test him," Lily said calmly, but her eyes were blazing. They all turned to look at her. "He is going to tell me he isn't a Death Eater, and if he's lying, I will know."
"Lily," Sirius said, speaking for the first time, "we can always look at his arm."
"Stop it, Sirius," she snapped. "Now Remus, look at me and tell me you don't work for Voldemort."
"I do not work for Voldemort."
No warnings. Lily smiled smugly and turned around. "He is being completely truthful."
None of the others moved.
Lily looked at them incredulously. "You don't believe me, do you?"
They all exchanged quick, uncomfortable glances, and began speaking at once.
"Oh, no-"
"Lily, of course we-"
"What a stupid thing to think-"
"Good heavens-"
Remus surged past Lily, taking his coat off and rolling up his sleeve.
The world spun in front of Lily's eyes, and went black. Here we go again, she thought wearily, and stared hard at the scene that had appeared in front of her.
A man wearing black was rolling up his sleeve and striding importantly across a room, and Lily saw a patch of black on his white arm before she came to coherency. She was being carried – by James, presumably, to the same couch she had laid on the last time she had a vision. This was her first in a while.
"Get parchment!" James cried. "Remus, you can write the fastest – Lily, tell me what you saw!"
"Ennervate me, James," Lily mumbled.
"Tell me, Lily!"
"Ennervate…me," she insisted wearily.
"I will, I will!" he cried. "Come on, come on!"
"A man in black…walking towards someone…rolling up the – the sleeve of his robe…showing someone the – the Dark Mark on his arm…"
"Where, Lily, do you know where?"
"No…"
~*~*~*~*
Ennervate.
Wake up, wake up…Come back, come back…
Lily opened her eyes to see everyone clustered around her. She attempted to sit up, but they all cried out and immediately she fell back.
"Sorry," she said, her eyes wide.
"You really should stop doing that," Gwen said, closest to her, kneeling on her left. "It can't be good for the baby."
"The what?" Sirius cried, looking at her with alarm.
"Thanks so much, Gwen," Lily grumbled.
Gwen winced. "Oops."
"Oh well," Lily said, and gently sat up. She looked up at James, who was standing shoulder to shoulder with Remus. "We called you all over here to tell you that we're having a baby."
"What?" Sirius exclaimed again, his jaw dropping.
"I say!" Peter exclaimed, his eyes wide.
"Congratulations," Remus said, giving a wane smile. His eyes showed his happiness better than his smile.
"Thank you," Lily said, and they all went into a short, uncomfortable silence. Sirius broke it by hugging her tightly, before jumping back.
"My God, are you okay? Did I hug you too hard?"
Lily smiled thinly. "Sirius, I'm fine."
"How long have you known?" Peter said, his voice sounding slightly horrified.
"Two weeks."
"Two bloody weeks?" Sirius cried, looking wildly at James. "And you call me your best mate?!"
"Sorry," James said, shrugging. He glanced at Lily out of the corner of his eye. "She wanted to wait and tell you all."
Another awkward silence. Lily slowly rose and took Remus by the arm. "Let's all go and have dinner, shall we?" she called over her shoulder. All of them followed, not looking forward to the no-doubt forced, tension-filled meal ahead of them.
~*~*~*~*
"I just don't get it," James sighed, feeling hopeless. "She never lets her temper get the better of her, and I swear she would have slapped me if I hadn't backed down in the kitchen."
"She snapped at me," Gwen said, still shocked. "We've never had a yelling match like that – not since before third year."
Sirius shook his head and leaned back in his chair. It was the next day, and the three Aurors, plus Peter, were in the Wellington Mansion. "James, did you hurt her? When you grabbed her arm like that?"
James swallowed and looked down. "I dunno. I certainly hope not. We – we didn't talk at all after you left. I tried to, but she was still extremely pissed at me."
"And she's at a meeting, you say?" Peter asked, sipping his tea.
"Yeah, with the top Ministry officials. Honestly, she could care less," James muttered.
"James!" Gwen exclaimed, looking shocked. "You know that isn't true!"
"I know, I know," he sighed, regretting his words. "Know what I fancy about now? A good fly."
"Cheers," Sirius chimed in. "There're brooms in the shed at the pitch. You two coming?"
Peter set his teacup down and stood up with the rest of them. "I think I'll go back home."
"You've never been one for flying, Pete," James said, clapping his short friend on the shoulder.
Sirius snorted. "Because you never try."
Peter deliberately ignored that. "So James, when's the baby due, again?"
James sighed. "July. Late July."
Peter nodded. "Right. Thanks for the tea, Gwen."
"You're welcome, Peter. Sorry you can't stay."
Peter smiled. "Yep, sorry indeed! Goodbye, all!" He showed himself out, whistling, thinking of how he would be the first one to tell Master of the Potter's baby.
~*~*~*~*
"I have a proposition."
Lily watched blearily as Bartemius Crouch got up from his seat near the head of the table (and the Minister of Magic). She had stayed up incredibly late the night before, thinking hard on Remus and the situation at hand. She was prepared to go see him when remembered she had an important meeting with the Ministry and other top witches and wizards. Albus Dumbledore was sitting on the Minister's right hand.
"Yes, Crouch?" Minister Brock said, clearing his throat. He was quite old – only two or three years younger than Dumbledore, and had become George Watson's Assistant Minister when Remus's father had retired.
"I have discussed this with most of the witches and wizards present, and they agree with me: we should give the Aurors more power and license."
Many raised their eyebrows, and talk broke out. Some, like the Auror Department Head Jo Krespin, were nodding.
"Order, order!" Minister Brock cried feebly. "What sort of powers, Bartemius?" he demanded.
Crouch paused, and then set his jaw determinedly. "Powers that the Death Eaters already have, that they have used on our people – the power to kill and torture."
Shouting broke out, and Lily felt her eyes widen. My God, she thought, if the Aurors get these powers…How will that help to stop the war?
The Minister was frantically trying to get everyone to calm down. "Stop it, stop it! Do sit down!" he cried.
"Quiet!" someone yelled loudly, commandingly, and everyone quieted immediately.
"I'd like to have a meeting with my Cabinet, please, on this matter," the Minister sniffed, and took the Heads of Departments into a room and slammed the door.
Everyone broke out into chatter, and Lily looked around for a familiar face; her eyes connected almost immediately with Dumbledore's piercing blue ones, and she smiled wearily and made her way over to him.
"Lily – it's been a while, hasn't it?" Dumbledore said with a tired smile, but his eyes sparkled with delight.
Lily nodded, looking up at him. She hadn't gotten any taller since seventh year – he still towered at least a foot above her head. "Not since Anna and Frank's wedding, I believe."
"Yes, yes, you're quite right. And how is her baby?"
"Oh - well, I think."
"That is good news."
"Albus, did anyone tell you about James and I?" Lily asked curiously. She didn't particularly want to talk about James, but anyway…
He looked puzzled. "Is everything alright?"
"Oh, I think so, er – we're expecting a baby as well."
His old face lit, and a true smile broke out as Lily blushed modestly. "Brilliant! How fantastic for you both!"
"Thank you so much."
"Please, do extend my greatest congratulations to your husband."
"I certainly will." If he apologizes first.
"Order, order," the Minister cried feebly, coming out. He sat down at the head of the table, and everyone took their seats once more. He looked down the table piercingly, and then sat back. "The Minister's Cabinet and I have decided – unanimously, mind you – that the power to kill Death Eaters, within a needful situation when the safety of the Auror and safety of citizens is in question, shall be granted to them."
Uproar again. Lily sat back, feeling dazed. Was this morally correct? This lowered the Aurors to the level of the Death Eaters – the only thing separating the two now wouldn't be good versus bad, it would be who you were fighting for – Dumbledore or Voldemort?
~*~*~*~*
"PRONGS! IT'S HAPPENING!"
Lily's head shot up from her place in the kitchen, and she hurried into the living room, to see Sirius's head in the fire, talking earnestly to James, who was standing next to him.
"-and he's an absolute wreck – I had to help him Apparate Anna over – she was as calm as ever. Gwen's there now, waiting, so come on!"
"Wait!" Lily cried, unconsciously putting a hand to her stomach. "How is she?!"
Sirius's face softened when he saw her – The Baby, as they had started calling the child growing within her – had really hit his heart. "She's fine." He turned to look up at James. "You should take better care of Lily – she's straining herself!"
James hid a smile, knowing that Sirius was, well, serious. "I am, Sirius. Now get out of my fireplace."
Sirius looked at him suspiciously. "You're not Flooing, are you?"
James sighed exasperatedly and Lily turned away, grinning in amusement, and went to the cloak closet in the front hall.
"No, Sirius, we're not. I care about The Baby almost as much as you do." James's voice was ladled with sarcasm.
A small snort of laughter issued from Lily – she was happy she was in another room, otherwise Sirius would have given her a stern lecture.
"Good, beca-"
"Sirius, I know. Now get your arse out of my bloody fireplace."
"Fine," Sirius said huffily, and Lily heard a small pop, signaling he was gone. James burst out laughing and walked into the foyer, and Lily handed him his coat, grinning. They exchanged a warm, happy glance – right now was more normal than they had been in a while together. Lily had been going to visit Remus regularly, and she didn't know it, but she really was saving his life. James and Sirius tried to overlook it, and Gwen fretted about it, but no one tried to stop her.
"Let's go, before I die," she said urgently, pulling his arm as he tried to put his coat on.
"I'm coming, I'm coming."
She flung open the door and hugged herself against the sudden cold, ever mindful of the small inflation of her stomach – she was almost exactly two months pregnant, and out of the uncertain time zone, which The Baby had survived healthily.
James started to pull out his wand, but Lily grabbed his hand and they were gone in seconds.
They arrived in the lobby in St. Mungo's, and went up to the receptionist.
"Excuse me," Lily asked earnestly, and the lady looked up attentively. "What room is Mrs. Anna Longbottom in, please?"
"Only husbands are allowed in while she's delivering, ma'am."
"Yes, but which room, just so I know?"
"She's up on the second floor, if you must know."
Lily didn't stop to glare at her tone, but instead took off towards the stairs and nearly sprinted up them, with James calling for her to "slow down and stop bloody straining herself". It made her feel quite warm inside for some reason.
She entered the lobby, where a nice fire was burning in the grate in the corner, and Sirius stood up immediately, followed by Gwen. James came up behind Lily, and all four began talking at once.
"Wait, wait!" Lily cried, putting her hands up. For The Baby's sake, they stopped talking. "Where is she now?"
"In labor, Lily."
"Alright, for how long?"
"About fifteen minutes."
"They're actually delivering the baby right now?"
"Yeah, I think."
Lily looked around the room, trying to regulate her breathing. Two stern people were sitting in the corner – Frank's parents. "What should we do?"
"There's nothing to do except wait," Gwen said hesitantly. She looked pleadingly at Lily.
"Let's go to the loo, Gwen, want to?"
"I would love to," Gwen said, the relief in her voice evident. Together they walked out of the small waiting room, with Sirius calling after them, "It's not still second year! You can go to the loo alone, you know!"
Gwen stopped and flashed a rude finger at him and then whipped back around. Lily was smiling, and Sirius called after them, "I love you too, Gwen!" perfectly seriously.
She called, "I love you more, Sirius!"
"No, I don't think so."
Gwen stuck her tongue out at him before looking apologetically back at Lily, her happy expression becoming slightly miserable. "Sorry."
"No, it's fine." Lily couldn't walk anymore, and they were out of sight, so she slid down to the floor and propped up against the wall. Gwen copied her, looking intently at her.
"We should talk."
"Yes, we should."
"Right, I'll start. No matter what you believe, I don't think Remus is evil. I'm just – just undecided, that's all."
Lily had a nasty remark to shoot back at her, but wisely kept her mouth shut. Remus was her tender point right now.
"And – well, I miss talking to you," she continued. "You're my best friend, Lily, and always will be."
Lily smiled at her, and they hugged tightly for a few minutes. "I missed you too."
When they pulled back Gwen was sniffling. "What's wrong, Gwen?"
Gwen looked up at the ceiling, blinking furiously. "I don't know – nothing, I suppose. I just…I miss them. I miss them so much it hurts, Lily. And Sirius – Sirius…"
Lily felt tears welling up in her own eyes. She was talking about her parents, of course. "You really should talk to Remus about your mum and dad, Gwen. He lost a parent too, remember?" Gwen nodded, but said nothing, swiping at her eyes. "And what's this about Sirius?"
Gwen closed her eyes briefly. "I love him, Lily."
"Yes, I know," Lily said curiously, looking at her.
"And he loves me," she continued.
"Yes…"
"What the bloody fuck is wrong with him, then?!" Gwen exploded. "We've been in love forever, it seems, and…And we're no less then you and James…"
Lily was thoroughly puzzled. "And?" she prompted.
"Well, why – why hasn't he asked me to m-marry him yet?"
Lily swallowed a gasp at Gwen's plaintive, heart-wrenching tone. "Oh, Gwen," she sighed, and hugged her tightly while Gwen cried huge, quiet sobs. "Please, please, always come to me – you've bottled this up for much too long."
"Promise me you'll always be here, and I'll always come to you, Lily."
"I swear on my child's life, I will always be here."
~*~*~*~*
News came to them later that night – Anna delivered a beautiful, healthy boy to be named after her deceased brother, Neville.
Later the next day, when the nurse said Anna was awake, Gwen, Sirius, James, and Lily walked quietly into her room. She was holding a sleeping, peaceful Neville. All of them quietly oohed and aahed over the baby, and Lily put a hand to her stomach: she would be in the same position, if all went well, in only seven months…
Tentatively James rested his hand on her side. She looked up at him – he was staring at her intensely, a question in his eyes. She took her hand off her stomach and threaded her fingers through his, and leaned against his side. He exhaled and put his lips on top of her head, holding her tightly.
"I love you," he murmured, and everything between them suddenly was quite fine.
~*~*~*~*
"Waffles."
James looked up from the Daily Prophet at his wife – she was looking a little worse for wear (and rather scary in his opinion), in one of his big tee-shirts, her stomach sticking out, all of her seven months showing plainly, standing in the doorway. Her dark red hair was sleep-tousled, and her eyes were puffy.
"What, love?"
"Waffles, James, I want waffles. Waffles and fettuccini alfredo."
James stifled a laugh. "I don't think we have any, darling."
"Why?"
"Er-"
"James, I think I'll go for a walk."
He raised his eyebrows briefly in shock – she had switched gears so quickly his head was spinning – but before he could question her further, she was climbing back up the stairs.
She dressed quickly, feeling extremely puffy and fat, and then picked up some Muggle money she kept for emergencies, and was out the door before James could stop her.
She Apparated directly behind a random grocer, and calmly walked inside, patting her hair down. She politely told the sales woman how far along she was, and then took a basket and set off among the isles.
She was heading towards the pasta isle when something caught her nostrils – fruit! Why did she want something heavy like waffles when she could just have fruit? Lily marveled at herself as she made her way over to the arranged fruit, humming a mindless tune. She stopped right above a display, closer than she should have probably been for fear of knocking the display down. Lily turned around trying to find the oranges, and accidentally knocked a pear off the fruit display. She cursed, a bit more violently than she should have, and bent over with difficulty. When she stood back up, she promptly dropped the piece of fruit again.
"Petunia?" she cried, her mouth open. A very pregnant blonde was standing on the other side of the fruit display, examining a peach, which she also dropped upon seeing Lily.
"You!" she hissed, and Lily caught a feeling of déjà vu immediately.
She forced a smile, however. "I take it things are going well with you and Vlendon?" she said, looking pointedly at Petunia's very round tummy.
"Vernon," the older of the two women said between her large, clenched teeth. She looked around quickly, as if seeing if anyone was eavesdropping. "And yes," she said, so quietly Lily had to lean in to hear, "I am expecting."
"That's wonderful," Lily said, forcing another smile. "Do you know what its gender is?"
"Yes," she sniffed. "A boy. He's going to be named Dudley."
Lily bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing. Who named their child Dudley?
Mrs. Vernon Dursley was looking her younger sister over warily. She spotted the bulge in Lily's stomach and smirked. "I do hope you haven't been gaining weight, dear."
"No," Lily said, clenching her own teeth now and putting her hands on her stomach protectively. "I'm expecting as well."
"How very touching. Married that man, did you?"
"Yes," Lily spat. "And as I recall, you didn't R.S.V.P."
"We were out," she sniffed. "I didn't think there would be a wedding anyway."
"And why not?"
Petunia smiled malevolently. "I thought that anyone who knew of your past would surely be scared away. Or does this Potter not know?"
"What are you talking about?" Lily said, her tone dangerous.
"As if you don't know."
Lily's eyes flashed. "Explain what you're on about, Petunia," she warned.
"No need to get touchy." Petunia said coldly. "I was simply wondering how anyone in their right minds could love you if they knew you killed your own mother."
Lily's jaw dropped, her head spinning from the sudden thoughts that emerged for the first time in a few years. "Petunia, I didn't kill her, and you know it."
Petunia raised her eyes, a skeptical look coming over her bony face. "Didn't you? Your hands will always be stained with her blood, Lily. I do hope your baby doesn't take it into its head to do to its mother what you did to your own."
And she was gone, leaving her stunned sister in her wake.
The stun soon gave way to sorrow, and Lily sat down right where she was, not caring that people were sending her strange looks. Once she had collected herself, she Apparated back home right under the fruit display (once again not caring that she was breaking one of the most important wizarding laws) and appeared in the same position right in front of the house in Godric's hollow.
She heard happy shouts, and turned to look at the house next to them. Two young children were playing Quidditch on toy brooms, trying to knock each other off.
As Lily stared, her vision became blurry and she began to think, began to let her sister poison her mind. She would survive giving labor to this child, she knew it – she had to. The Advisor wouldn't go down from childbirth, would she? That would – would be completely unacceptable.
Once she had mostly got rid of those ugly thoughts, they turned to another part of Petunia's rant – Your hands will always be stained with her blood, Lily…
Unwillingly she looked down at her hands through the tears in her eyes, turning them over slowly. They were spotless…in a sense. Suddenly, images began flashing through her head – Mary Katherine dying, all the innocent people that had died because Lily had been at a certain place…
"Lily? What are you doing?"
"I killed her – them."
James crouched beside her, a chill running over him uncomfortably. "What?"
She was staring down at her hands. "I killed her – my mother. Mary Katherine. And a load of other people I never met."
"Lily, what happened at the store?" James asked urgently, taking her hands. She jerked them away and wrung them hard, biting her cheek.
"I – I saw someone."
"Oh God."
"I saw my sister."
James squeezed his eyes shut and sat down all the way. Lily turned to him, her eyes full of tears. They looked at each other for a moment, and then her expression changed to one of curiosity.
"You knew about my mother, didn't you?"
"I know some things."
"When I was born, she died."
"I did know that, yes."
"Why did you marry me?"
"What the hell did Petunia say to you?" James asked, feeling anger rising in him.
"Please, just answer me."
"Lily, you know why I married you!" James exclaimed incredulously. "I couldn't list all the reasons! I love you, for starts. I couldn't imagine spending my life without you. You're the other half to my soul. I love you more than anyone and anything…"
"You knew about my mother, and about Mary Katherine and all those people, though," she whispered, looking down again. "And you still married me, even though my hands…"
"What about your hands?" he asked, leaning forward, thinking about everything he would inflict upon Petunia once he got hold of her.
"They're stained." She held them up, looking at him hopelessly.
They didn't have a spot of dirt on them, but James wasn't made Head Boy for nothing. "Lily…"
She closed her eyes and lowered her hands. "Let's just not talk about this, please."
~*~*~*~*
When she began her eighth month of pregnancy, she was no longer allowed to Apparate, and therefore spent most of her days waddling around the house. She had a lovely baby shower thrown, and it had been wonderful, all the new gifts for The Baby – except maybe the present from Sirius.
She knew what it was the moment she saw the long, thin package.
"Sirius," she warned, but took it anyway with a slow smile. She unwrapped it, revealing a toy broomstick.
"He's going to be a Quidditch player, Lils, you know it."
"Of course," James said instantly, taking the broom and looking it over, "How could he not be?"
"Oh, you two! It might be a girl, you know!"
"So, look at you and Gwen? You're girls, and damn good Quidditch players...Not as good as we are, of course, but still..."
"Jeez, Sirius, you're making me blush."
"I don't like your tone, Gwen."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah."
"What are you going to do about it?"
"Hmm-"
"Sirius!"
"Mmmh?"
"No snogging Gwen at my shower, please."
"Yeah, get a room."
"You two are no fun anymore."
~*~*~*~*
"James?"
"Yes, love?"
Lily was silent for a moment, staring up at the dark ceiling, her hand on her bulging stomach.
"The Baby's hiccoughing, I think."
James rolled over and pressed his hand near hers. Lily watched his face as he felt his child bouncing slightly inside. She studied his face, watching the sheer joy on it.
"James?" He lifted his eyes to hers. "I – I don't think I want The Baby to leave."
His eyebrows shot up. "What do you mean?"
"Well," she began, feeling her stomach again, struggling to put her emotions in words, "I don't want it to leave…I want it to stay with me."
James' face softened, and he kissed her stomach. "You have to let it out, because no one else will be able to enjoy it if you don't."
"I just – I have a bad feeling…A foreboding."
He took her hand and squeezed it tightly. "It's normal, Lily – you don't want it to leave the safety of your womb, and that's it – nothing bad is going to happen to it, I promise."
Lily didn't reply, looking him in the eyes, still worried. "What are we naming it, again?" James asked gently, wanting to replace to the worry.
"Harry, of course, if it's a boy…If it's a girl, I still like Morgan. We talked about this before we got married, do you remember?"
"Vaguely," he replied, kissing the hand he held. "I'm falling asleep, darling."
"Mmmh," she said, her own eyes falling shut. "Night Jamie."
"Night Lils."
~*~*~*~*
July rolled around finally, and at around noon on the fifteenth, Lily doubled over in pain – a searing knife was poking her abdomen.
Gwen leapt up from the table, nearly spilling her tea – the two had been having a girl chat – and started breathing heavily. "Lils?! Lily! What's wrong?! TALK TO ME!"
"Hospital," Lily managed to gasp out, trying to straighten up.
"Right! Hospital, hospital – OH! HOSPITAL!"
Gwen did what she was supposed to do - ran into the family room and grabbed the instant Portkey (a teething ring), that, once it touched a pregnant woman's hand, would take her right to St. Mungo's – it was given to all their pregnant patients.
"Lily, give me your hand – good – touch the key!"
She did so, and a second later they were whirring backwards, and landed gently (they were better quality Portkey's than the standard ones) in the waiting room at the hospital.
"Ah – excuse me, my best friend is having a baby!"
The woman behind the desk nodded and said something into her wand as Gwen supported Lily, who just had another spasm of pain. She dimly noticed them putting her in a chair of some sort and wheeling her quickly down a hall, before she completely lost consciousness.
~*~*~*~*
The next time Lily opened her eyes, it was to a peculiar sight indeed. For one, it was the middle of the night in a hospital room that was decorated with get well cards, and for another, every friend she had seemed to be packed into the one room, all dead asleep. James was on the chair to her right, his hand holding hers; Sirius was on the chair to her left with Gwen on his lap, both tightly cuddled up; Remus was sleeping on an out-of-place but comfortable-looking couch; Peter was curled up on the floor; and Frank was also on the floor, next to a large basket, which Lily had a sneaking suspicion was little Neville. Lily was sure that this was a definite violation of a hospital rule, and could only guess that Anna was on duty.
The very next thing she noticed was she still had the extremely large bulge in her stomach, and for that she was thankful beyond words.
Then she realized that she really needed the loo.
And so, the very pregnant woman gently removed her hand from her husband's and heaved herself quietly out of bed and walked to the door, the cold floor making her feet smart.
The hall was very brightly-lit, and so she quickly let herself out and closed the door silently.
"Lily!" someone whispered with surprise and happiness, "you're awake!"
Lily turned and smiled at Anna, hugging her with difficulty. "Where's the loo? Come with me, I'm quite confused…"
Anna led her there and explained what had happened – The Baby decided he wanted to come early, but couldn't, and was kicking too hard, and the pain had been too much for Lily's petit build, and so she had fainted, but everything was very fine.
"I can't believe I thought it was the real thing," Lily said, shaking her head as she washed her hands.
"It very well would have been the real thing if The Baby hadn't given up. Don't worry, Lily."
"But everyone says that they know when it's the real thing, not a false alarm, and I definitely thought it was the real thing."
"And you will know when it is, I promise," Anna assured her as they left the bathroom.
Lily was silent, her hands on her stomach protectively. Finally, she spoke. "How is it that no one's noticed the amount of people in my room?"
Anna grinned. "I have my ways, dear."
Lily smiled. "Thank you, then."
The next day, she left the hospital in very good spirits, no longer nervous at having a baby.
And so it happened that a little over a week later, she was in the same bed with a flat stomach, instead of a bulging one.
~*~*~*~*
Holding Harry for the first time was magic – magic that Lily had never experienced. This magic was completely new, completely pure – suddenly everything seemed so stupid to worry over…The only thing Lily cared about in that moment was what she was holding in her arms.
She touched her son's face, memorizing it. The nurse had said his eyes were green – she hadn't seen them, but felt a strange rush at everything else she could see. Harry's nose was a little button, his hair dark and thick already – James's, most definitely. Her heart felt as though it would burst. Tears came to her eyes and fell silently down her cheeks, and she smiled and kissed him tenderly.
"I love you, Harry James," she whispered, "and I always, always will."
His eyes opened, and she was momentarily blinded, before a gasp left her breathless – his eyes were the exact same shape, size, and color as her own.
~*~*~*~*
The day came when Harry and Lily were allowed to leave the hospital, and Lily was trying to pack her bag, but at the same time, couldn't take her eyes off her son. Gwen was holding him, smiling down at him tenderly, and Sirius kept whining that it was his turn to hold Harry, but Gwen kept inventing reasons why she had to keep holding him.
James took her aside. "Lily, should we do it now? Name them his godparents?"
Lily thought for a moment, and nodded. "This is as good a time as any."
"Gwen, Sirius, can we talk?" James said. Both looked up at James and Lily instantly.
"We have something very special to tell you," Lily said, her eyes brimming (she had become quite sentimental over the past few days). "Well, to ask you, rather. Would – would you do us the honor of being Harry's godparents?"
Gwen's eyes widened and Sirius' jaw dropped.
"This means that, if anything was to happen to Lily or I, you both would take over as his parents, and protect him, and love him like we couldn't," James said seriously, looking between the two.
A strange sound emitted from Gwen's mouth, and she burst into tears. "Of course, of course!"
Lily smiled brilliantly and went to hug her – even Sirius looked distinctly misty-eyed as Gwen handed Harry to him.
"You two have really lost it this time," he said in a strangely thick voice, looking down at Harry, "naming us his godparents…You might – might regret it."
"We most certainly won't, Sirius, we most certainly won't."
~*~*~*~*
Harry was a blessing, and was an absolute angel. He was everyone's relief, everyone's ray of sunshine in the dark times…Just a smile, a little, tinkling laugh made the hearts warm. And so, it wasn't strange that the Potter Mansion became a sort of haven for everyone – a haven that was interrupted one day, by a visitor that one wouldn't think would interrupt.
Gwen, Sirius, Lily, Remus, and James were gathered in the living room, playing with Harry, talking enjoyably and looking forward to a Halloween party to be thrown in a few days, when there came a knock at the door.
Out of habit, everyone froze for a moment, before James made a noise of recognition. "I know who it is – it's Dumbledore…I saw him at the Ministry a couple of days ago and he said he wanted to come by and discuss something with Lily and I."
He went to the front door, with Lily following, Harry in her arms. "Albus," James grinned as Dumbledore walked through the door and into the foyer.
He was looking haggard, but he smiled instantly when his eyes fell upon Harry. "May I, Lily?"
"But of course, Albus," Lily said, smiling. She carefully handed Harry over to the old professor, who looked at him with delight, bouncing him slightly.
"What a charming boy," he pronounced, but didn't part from the baby.
Lily, hiding a smile, ushered him into the living room, where Gwen, Sirius, and Remus greeted him. "Now, unfortunately I must be the bearer of bad news," Dumbledore said heavily when the salutations were over.
Lily's smile slipped. "Oh…"
Dumbledore handed little Harry to James and reached inside his cloak, pulling out two sheets of blindingly gold parchment, parchment that Lily recognized from years before – Will Parchment.
Lily's breathing became shallow. "Dumbledore…"
"Lily, James, we must do this. We cannot take any more chances – someone from our side has turned traitor, we are sure of it, and is passing information to Voldemort."
Harry cried out suddenly when his pacifier fell out of his strong grip, and Lily automatically reached down and picked it up, muttering a sterilizing spell before handing it back to her son.
"Gwen, Remus, Sirius, would you all take young master Potter outside perhaps?"
"Not on the broom," Lily interjected, her eyes pinned on Dumbledore.
The four left silently, Harry making happy baby noises to Gwen, who had taken him from James.
Dumbledore gestured to the couch. "May I?"
"Oh, of course," Lily said quickly, sinking down onto it herself. James sat beside her and took her hand.
"Lily and James, you both are incredibly important to the wizarding world, you know that, and we must make sure this is over with in case anything was to happen to you."
Numbly Lily and James set to work drawing up the wills, thinking about their son.
~*~*~*~*
Remus held the door open and Gwen stepped outside, squinting in the sun. "So, what should we do?"
"I dunno," Sirius said, sulking – he hated that Lily had remembered to set the broom off limits. "We need to teach Harry to fly, but obviously that's not happening."
"Sirius?
"Yeah?"
"He's three months old."
"And your point is, Moony?"
Gwen slapped him on the back of the head and surveyed the yard. It was mostly enclosed and grassy, with the Quidditch pitch to the right. "We could always go and sit on the bleachers," she said finally. "Lily certainly won't mind that."
"Yeah, but if she does, it's all your fault," Sirius said, forcing Gwen to slap him again. He caught her hand and they looked at each other, the amusement and annoyance sliding from their faces as they spoke without words. Remus shook his head, smiling, and was about to take Harry from Gwen when the baby caught a large bit of her coal-black hair and yanked.
"Damn! Shit!"
Sirius collapsed into laughter and Remus took Harry with amusement and horror. "Gwen, watch your mouth! Lily would murder us all if Harry's first word was shit!"
"Hahahahaaaa! You said it again!" Sirius cackled, doubling over.
Gwen gave up massaging her head and joined Sirius in complete and total amusement. "Your face!" she cried, holding her side. "You look like you've just killed someone!"
Remus put his hand over Harry's small ear and bit back laughter, walking to the Quidditch bleachers. "I'm getting this innocent soul away from you both before you spoil him!" he yelled over his shoulder. He heard jumbled talking for a moment and then silence, and he didn't have to look to see that they were currently snogging, and he yelled, "I'll be over here, children-terrorists, if you all ever decide to separate."
"Moony, please go to he-"
"Sirius!" Gwen shrieked.
"Heck! I was going to say heck! Why are you-"
More silence. Remus sat down, laughing silently, and looked down at the bundle in his arms. Harry was wrapped up tightly in his thick wool blanket and long pants and long shirt, even though it wasn't that cold outside. Looking down at him, Remus felt a surge of happiness that he hadn't felt in a long time – too long. But of course, bad thoughts had to resurface, as they often did when he was by himself. If Mary Katherine was still alive, would Remus have a baby of his own?
No, he wasn't going to think about things like that.
He boosted Harry up further in his arms. Harry had a small crease in his smooth forehead where he was busily studying his pacifier, and Remus laughed slightly. Harry was always busy, looking at the things around him, taking in the world…Remus could feel that he would be quite powerful one day.
The four whiled away the afternoon outside, transfiguring twigs into things to amuse Harry and cracking jokes at each other, all feeling more at ease than ever. But by about five, when they had completely run out of things to do, they began to get bored.
"That's taking a while, isn't it?" Gwen said, breaking a silence, nodding up at the house.
Sirius nodded, making a stuffed ball (that had once been a rock) fly around Harry's head, teaching him Seeker, Chaser, and Keeper techniques.
"It sometimes does," Remus said, looking at her. She was pulling tufts of grass out of the ground absently.
"Why don't we take him to eat or something?" she suggested.
"Hmm…Doesn't he only eat certain things, though? Hey, there's Lily."
They stood, Sirius picking Harry up, as Lily walked slowly down the slight hill to the pitch, her hand over her eyes to block the sun, her dark red hair shimmering in the setting sun.
"Why don't you bring Harry back up to the house?" she called tiredly. "It's about his dinner time."
They walked up the hill to join her, and noticed with alarm her tired face. She gave them a wan smile that became prettier when she looked at Harry and took him from Sirius. "How was your afternoon?"
"It was fun," Remus said, and the others agreed.
"And no, Lily, we didn't get him on a broom."
Lily smiled at him, whacking his shoulder playfully. "You're making me feel bad. I promise, when he's old enough to stay on a broom, I'll let you teach him."
"Yeah, that'll be in like five years," Sirius grumbled. Gwen, on his other side, whacked him on the back of the head. "Christ! What is this, hit Sirius day?"
"Are you finished with everything, Lily?" Gwen asked, ignoring Sirius.
"Nearly," she said, her voice becoming tired again. "James and Dumbledore are settling the property and the money in our vault. It'll go to Harry, of course."
Everyone was quiet, knowing in the back of their minds what this meant.
"What do you want for dinner tonight, my little one? Mashed carrots or squash? Mmmh, carrots, I think, and then some nice bananas for desert…How's that, love?"
~*~*~*~*
"I am afraid I have horrible news, Mrs. Potter," Mr. Crouch said, shaking his head.
"Yes? What is it?" Lily said, her heart beating quickly.
"A student has been taken from Hogwarts."
"What?"
"A student has been taken from the school that possesses a slight talent in Divination. She was lured out of the school and then taken."
"My God," Lily gasped, putting a hand to her heart. "And you think she was taken by Death Eaters?"
"Yes, we are nearly positive."
"What is her name?"
"Trelawney. Sybill Trelawney."
~*~*~*~*
James looked down at his mug, slowly turning it around in his hands. Lily looked at him curiously, noticing the odd expression on his face. "James? Is everything alright?"
He sighed and looked up again. "Lily…I went to Dumbledore today."
"Did you?" Lily was starting to feel anxious.
"Yes. His spies…His spies tell him that Voldemort knows about us – about Harry."
Lily nodded, not quite understanding why he was so uptight. "Is that all?"
"Dumbledore's spies…Oh, Lily…" He got off his chair and went around to stand with her. "The girl Voldemort took – he took her for a reason."
"Because she has the Sight, right?"
"Yes – and she – she went into a trance when Voldemort gave her a special drink, and spoke in an odd voice, saying basically that – that one day our child would – would be his downfall."
Lily was speechless, her mouth partway open in shock.
James began to speak again, pacing around the kitchen. "We aren't safe, Lily, we aren't safe anymore. We can't leave the house. Harry can't especially."
"Harry," Lily croaked, her voice temporarily back, her motherly instincts flaring up wildly. "What can we do to protect Harry?" Her mind frantically wandered up to the nursery, where her son – just turned a year old - was sleeping peacefully.
James pressed his lips together. "The Fidelius Charm."
Lily inhaled sharply, her mind whirling. She thought it over quickly – having someone hold their secret inside so no one would be able to find them? Who would they entrust it to? Well, she knew a lot of people who would keep their place hidden, but…
"It's terribly complex," she managed finally.
"It's our only hope."
~*~*~*~*
"Tea, then?"
Sirius closed his eyes shakily. "No, I think I'm just going to go home."
Lily looked down, and squeezed his hand. "You can't – you will never know how much this…this means to us."
Sirius looked at James and Lily square in the eyes, looking more solemn and subdued than Lily had ever seen him. "I know." The corners of his mouth lifted up in a slight smile. "I'll see you two later." He walked out of the door and shut it quietly behind him.
James and Lily stood almost helplessly in the foyer, staring at the door through which Sirius had just passed. A wail from Lily's wand brought the two immediately to attention. They had charmed it so whenever Harry made a noise they would hear him through their wands, and would know to go tend to him.
"I'll go," Lily said, rubbing her eyes. "He's probably just lost his dragon or something."
"Lily, go to bed," James ordered, looking at her levelly. "I'll take care of Harry."
Lily relaxed slightly and kissed him. "I love you. I'll probably be asleep by the time you get back."
James attempted a smile. "Sweet dreams, darling."
Lily walked slowly through the house into the master bedroom, feeling as though she was dreaming, or not quite there. What they had done that night by performing the Fidelius Charm was throwing everything out into the open, in an ironic sense – by doing so, they could no longer deny they were in danger.
Lily thought back on her teary goodbye with Gwen, Remus, Dumbledore, and Peter. She and James had had to say goodbye to them all because now she and James were in hiding, and only Sirius knew where they were. Of course, they were still in the same house in Godric's Hollow, but no one would know they were there. It was the complications of the charm, but completely necessary. To everyone but Sirius, who was their Secret-Keeper, they had disappeared. Even Dumbledore, who had performed the charm, didn't know their whereabouts.
Thinking about Dumbledore led to more disturbing thoughts. There had been an urgency in his eyes when he had offered to be their Secret-Keeper, but James hadn't seen it and had been adamant about Sirius. Lily was completely behind Sirius as well, but it had struck her slightly off-balance that Dumbledore had questioned (however slightly) that Sirius wasn't a good person to ask…
She shook her head. They were going to make it through this, no matter what. She refused to believe that today was the last day she'd see Gwen or Remus or Peter or Dumbledore. They would make it.
~*~*~*~*
Sirius knocked on the back door of the Potter Mansion, and looked around nervously, shivering, and it wasn't because he was cold. It was because of what he was about to do.
James opened the door, and stepped aside quickly to let Sirius in. James caught sight of his best friend's face and blinked behind his glasses. "Sirius? What's happened?"
Sirius took a breath. "James, I have to talk to you about something."
"What?"
"The charm. I shouldn't be your Secret-Keeper."
James looked at him with incredulously. "Sirius, you've been our Keeper for not even a day. What's wrong?"
"It shouldn't be me. I'm too obvious." James was confused now. Sirius began to pace the hallway. "Don't you see, James? Voldemort knows I'm your best friend, and his inner spy told him we'd done the Fidelius Charm. Not that I would give it away, but he'll come straight for me, James."
"Sirius, I trust you."
"I know, James, but think – wouldn't it be more likely to choose someone who Voldemort doesn't even know exists, that you trust too?"
"Like…?"
"Peter."
~*~*~*~*
"Happy Halloween, Harry!" Lily cried, kissing him on his plump cheek. "Mummy and Daddy love you so much, darling! Jamie, can you believe this is our baby's second Halloween?"
James smiled. "It seems like just yesterday you were in the hospital having him."
"Oh, time flies, doesn't it?"
The two stood smiling at their baby in perfect and complete happiness. He was sitting in a highchair that Lily had just put him in, with his parents across from him. He let out a delighted giggle.
Something shattered the moment quite suddenly, the crash of a door being blasted away. Lily's heart stood still, and she froze.
"It's him," James whispered, his hand closing around her wrist. "It's him! Lily, take Harry and go! I'll hold him off!"
"But James-"
"Go!"
Things seemed to happen quickly from then. Lily grabbed Harry and made for the other kitchen door that led to the upstairs. She looked over her shoulder to see James in what she was aware could quite possibly be the last time – he had opened the kitchen door and his wand was ready. Lily stumbled from the room, suddenly aware that her cheeks were wet. She raced upstairs, trying to block out the conversation below her, but to no avail.
"Avada Kedavra!"
~*~*~*~*
*Breathes*
Wow. It's…finished. Done. The Epilogue is already completed too – SoL has been written.
It could not have been written, however, if not for Lily and Reine and Xavi and Elle, and, of course, my readers. I love you *all* and thank you so much for giving me support. Did you know that I've only gotten *one* flame? And it might not even classify as a flame, it was just a person who was extremely mad about me killing Violet and Orion. Anyway, the point is, your reviews and everlasting support really got me through this, even when I didn't update for months… You all seriously are my heroes. I don't know how to thank you all – if you ever need any support, please email me – it's the least I can do for you all.
Cheers,
Bella
