This chapter is the darkest of all of the ones I've written in this story so far, but considering the subject matter, there was no other way for it to be. I hope you all enjoy it all the same and if you have a moment to review, please do so! ^_^ Again, thank you to those who have been reviewing.
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or any of its characters. Akina, however, is still mine.
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Chapter Thirteen
"Guilt is the source of sorrows, the avenging fiend that follows us behind with whips and stings"-Nicholas Rowe
The few seconds it had taken Shippou to come to the realization of Akina's endangerment seemed to him to be an eternity. He was nigh on certain that he had paused too long, and the damage had already occurred. The magnitude of what he had done paralyzed him in horror as he watched the orange flames lick the black sky. Yet, just as the guilt began to drown him, a hoarse cough rose over the deafening crackling. His heart leapt at the noise, blood pounding loudly in his ears as he darted into the burning field, the searing heat nipping at his heels. It didn't matter if the fire consumed him, if only he could find the girl alive. So what if the rescue attempt killed him? It was his fault that one needed to be made, wasn't it?
He halted on a large stone where he could be temporarily safe from burning, eyes squinting anxiously through the smoke. His lungs labored for each breath of precious oxygen, polluted by the heavy cloud in the air. Damn it, it's impossible to even sniff her out this way. The only thing he could depend on were his ears, but the girl wasn't making enough consistent sounds for him to locate her in the maze of flames.
There were wide gaps where the fire had not yet consumed and he could only hope that she had made it to one of those. He was dimly aware that his tail was becoming precariously close to catching ablaze, but he mostly ignored it, only twitching it out of the way. His panic refused to allow him to dwell on his own safety. "Akina!" The call was strangled and desperate, the kitsune not daring to actually hope for a result.
Yet one came in the answer of a moan, almost inaudible, just ahead of him through the inferno. His reaction was instantaneous and he was more than willing to take the risk that his ears had deceived him. The kitsune lept forward into one of the quickly shrinking patches of land. He almost landed on the prostrate and unconscious girl, but managed to twist his body to land awkwardly next to her. He probably also twisted an ankle, but Shippou paid little attention to that. It was impossible for him to tell how badly she was hurt, and he wasn't inclined to stay there and see. He was too focussed on getting the both of them away. He scooped the child up in his arms, moving swiftly to get out of the flames. It was much easier getting to yet untouched land than it was to enter the fire, for his body understood the innate need to get to safety more than it understood the need to risk himself for another.
He wasn't really surprised to see the villagers already gathered, working together to put out the flames. Nor was he surprised to see his traveling companions also there, staring at him in shock as he emerged. Do they know it's my fault? He observed them from the corner of his eye, unable to bring himself to look at them fully. Shame swamped him and he clutched the girl in his arms a bit closer. She was breathing, though each breath seemed to be a struggle for her. Still, that rasping had to be the most wonderful thing Shippou had ever heard. It meant life. It was life.
He would be denied even that comfort, however, for it was no more than a moment before one of the village women stepped forward, eyes filled with tears. "Akina! Oh, thank you, thank you!" Shippou had no choice but to place the girl in her mother's arms, for to do otherwise would be ludicrous. The movement, however, left him awkwardly unaware of what to do with his hands, so they fell to his sides in clenched fists. The woman continued on, not noticing his tense stance, "I thought she might be out here when she didn't come home and when I heard about the fire I was so terrified...when I think what could have happened.. Oh, thank you!" Her expressions of gratitude were repetitious and rambling.
Focused on his own torment, Shippou didn't notice. He was ignoring her, until in her rambling she used one word that suddenly made him draw back with a wince. Hero. The kitsune had decided not to speak, for he would not disgrace himself further with an unsteady voice. Yet, the word made him protest in a harsh voice, full of self-loathing, "I'm not a hero." With that denial, he finally turned a lifeless green gaze to his companions. They knew. He could see it in their eyes.
With a snarl of disgust directed fully at himself, the kitsune took off at a run towards the woods. The fact that a wall of flames remained between him and his intended goal did not deter him- he simply lept over it. Kagome was calling for him. He knew that. Yet the gulf between him and his companions was not simply the sea of flames. Nor was it his appearance any longer. It was nothing so superficial. The separation was to the very soul embodied in the kitsune's form. The separation was guilt and it threatened to consume him in ways the fire could have never done.
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Please review with any comments or suggestions and let me know what you all think. This chapter is a bit shorter than my others, but I really felt it needed to stand alone rather than have a second part. If you think I'm wrong on that… well, the next chapter will be out soon and you can just pretend it was added on to this one. I am thinking this is the second to last chapter, with an epilogue at the end. That may change, but it doesn't look like it will.
Dark-Neo: I will definately keep an eye out for your story!
