I was quite surprised by the positive responses to the last chapter. It certainly cheered me up! This is, as I said before, the last actual chapter of the story, so it is only fitting that it does rank as the longest (if only by a few words). The story isn't over yet, though, there will be a short epilogue. Enjoy!
Disclaimers: I do not own Inuyasha or company. However, Akina is mine.
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Chapter 14
"Part of every misery is, so to speak, the misery's shadow or reflection: the fact that you don't merely suffer but have to keep on thinking about the fact that you suffer." -C.S. Lewis
"Inuyasha! You have to go after him!" Kagome turned pleading eyes on the hanyou, desperation tingeing her tone.
For once, Inuyasha managed to feel completely nothing at her pleas. Hurt had a way of making one numb. "No. I don't." It wasn't a petulant protest this time. It was firm and unrelenting.
Grabbing his arm, the girl persisted, "You can't just let him run off alone. He may never return."
His lips pulled back to reveal his fangs in a grim imitation of a smile. "Maybe it's better that way, ya ever think of that?"
Stunned by his coldness in his gaze, Kagome staggered back, shaking her head. "You can't mean that."
"Can't I?" In a sudden move, the hanyou grasped her wrist in a tight grip, forcing her full attention on him, "You don't get it, do you? He chose his path. It ain't my concern anymore." The warrior gave the girl back the ownership of her wrist in a none too gentle way, turning to return back to the village, but not before growling, "I don't wanna hear this crap anymore. Your heart bleeds too much." Then Inuyasha, too, disappeared into the darkness.
Kagome lightly rubbed her wrist, not noticing that it bore angry red marks from Inuyasha's grip. Hurt, but not allowing herself to dwell on it while Shippou was in danger, she looked to Sango and Miroku, "Will you two help me find him?"
Reluctant to answer the question himself, Miroku looked to Sango. The exterminator understood the monk's reasoning for hesitation, taking it upon herself to softly reply, "Kagome-chan... we can look, but Inuyasha is the only one with a prayer of finding him by scent. Even then, Shippou managed to elude him before and could probably do so again..." As much as she loved the kitsune herself, she was rational.
"So you're saying it's hopeless." Kagome shifted a bleak gaze to the fire and the barely visible dark tips of the trees beyond. "Shippou's gone and we can't find him."
"Don't give up hope yet," The monk offered, "He may still choose to return on his own." Miroku's expression was impassive, though he attempted to keep his tone light. Sango placed her hand on his arm, rewarding him a small smile for his effort.
Tears misting her eyes, Kagome inclined her head, "Yeah." But recalling the look in the kitsune's eyes, her heart didn't believe it.
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A stick managed to fell the kitsune. Ordinarily, even a log wouldn't have presented much of a problem for him, even at a dead run. Ordinarily, he wouldn't welcome the fall or the sharp pain of his body striking the ground. Tonight was different. He felt a perverse sense of relief from that hurt. He deserved to hurt. How much pain is Akina in now? Shippou forced himself to sit up on the forest floor, raising a hand to the wound on his forehead. It was not a severe cut, but as with all head wounds, it bled more than such a gash normally would. He lowered his hand, holding it in front of him. Blood now covered it. Stained it. He clenched his fingers over his palm, feeling a bitter urge to laugh. It was a reminder of what he had almost done. Still might have done, really- Who said that the girl would even manage to survive now that she out of the blaze?
Swallowing hard, he lifted his gaze to the stars, barely visible in between the branches of the trees around him. He couldn't see them, but the trees weren't to blame for it. The tears that rolled down his cheeks were like molten metal. They scalded him with their heat, but then, he was so very cold.
Shippou awoke the next morning, muscles and bones recriminating him for sleeping in the position he did. His tongue felt heavy in his mouth from lack of water, his body ached, and over all, the kitsune was miserable. He was, however, numbed a bit towards the pain. Sleep has a way of making everything seem less sharp, even guilt. The sun also brought clarity of mind with it and he was aware of what path he would take. It was possible he would not survive it, but that still did not matter to him.
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"Kagome?"
The girl rose her head, hurriedly attempting to wipe the tears away from her cheeks. "Y-yes?"
The hanyou paused, suddenly at a loss as to what to say. He had avoided the girl all day since his hurtful words the night before. Yet, not even his own pain would allow him to ignore the fact Kagome was sitting out alone in the dark. She hadn't slept, and while youkai could exist on very little sleep, Inuyasha knew it was not healthy for humans. He had heard her crying from his position in the tree, and now that he neared, could even smell the saltiness of her tears. "Don't cry."
Kagome tried mightily, but all she managed to do was to slow her breathing. Tears were still rolled in silent testament to her sate of mind.
Inuyasha approached cautiously, unsure how to behave. He never could stand to see her cry. A fight to the death with Sesshoumaru was more appealing than standing here and watching her, unable to make her stop. In fact, he couldn't stand here and watch her. So he sat and tried again, "Please don't."
"I can't help it!" was the girl's impassioned reply. She knew Inuyasha hated her crying, but she had good reason to cry. Shippou was gone and Inuyasha had been avoiding her. She was allowed to cry! So she ceased trying to control it.
Shit. She wasn't supposed to cry even harder! Inuyasha's eyes widened in panic. He wracked his brain, attempting to think of what his mother did when he cried as a child. Not that he ever cried, even as a child, but he was thinking in hypothetical terms here. Using the only tactic that came to mind, he pulled Kagome into his arms tightly. In a hug, mind you. He wasn't trying to smother her. It would have worked to cease the tears, but that was the extent of positive results of such an action.
She fell into his chest, so surprised by the movement that it didn't occur to her to catch herself. "Inuyasha?" Being held in his embrace was comforting, and she found herself subconsciously snuggling closer.
The hanyou hushed her, running his clawed fingers through her hair gently. He had always liked it when his mother did it, so it stood to reason that Kagome would like the gesture too. On a more selfish note, he enjoyed the soft texture of her hair through his fingers. "If you sleep, I'll go with Kirara and look for the runt tomorrow." When she began to speak, he cut her off, "I don't promise nothin', but I'll look."
Kagome smiled, relaxing against him. She knew that his offer was the apology he was too proud to actually give. "Thank you, Inuyasha."
"Keh. Sleep." For once, she obeyed him.
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Inuyasha did keep his promise. He spent all the next day scouring for any signs of where Shippou had gone. The only thing he found was a faint trace of blood in the woods, but that was not enough for him to go on. He and Kirara were forced to return in defeat. The defeat was particularly deflating to the hanyou, as Kagome's tears made him feel even worse. Though she had insisted that he was not to blame, he felt that he somehow was.
Days merged into two full weeks, and still no sign or sound of the kitsune. The others had forced Kagome to return home, Inuyasha swearing to come and fetch her if they heard anything. The fact that even the hanyou was in on making her remain home was telling enough. She came back after four days but was quickly losing hope. For his part, Inuyasha was becoming restless. They could not continue to put off the hunt for the shards, but he was hesitant to bring it up to the girl. Miroku agreed with his concerns, as did Sango. They all knew that someone had to speak with Kagome, so of course, it was Sango who was nominated.
"Kagome-chan..." The exterminator began, attempting to figure out the softest way to break the announcement, "There are still Shikon shards to find." A pause and her voice dropped even lower, "And we do not know when Shippou will return...if he ever does." It was the first time someone had dared say the words that perhaps Shippou really wasn't coming back. "We cannot wait forever."
Kagome nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat so she could answer. She didn't get a chance to.
"You don't need to wait." The voice was recognizable, and both Sango and Kagome turned in unison to seek out its owner. Standing before them was Shippou, an adult no longer. Scratches marred the childish innocence of his face but it was his eyes that showed the most significant change. They were shadowed, giving the incongruous image of age in his young face. He had matured, but this time it was the natural result of an experience that left a mark on the soul. They stared at each other in a long silence before the kitsune once more broke it, "Can you forgive me?" His voice cracked halfway through the question.
To Kagome, an audible answer wasn't necessary. She ran to the child, scooping him up in her arms and cradling him close. Inuyasha and Miroku watched on from behind the bushes where they had been quite obviously spying on the conversation. The monk glanced to the hanyou, as if to see if he would need to keep the warrior from attacking. He really shouldn't have bothered. Inuyasha was smiling.
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I know there wasn't much fluff in the chapter, but I tried to put a bit of romance in for those who asked for it. ^_^* The epilogue should be posted in the next day or so. It may be near the end of the story, but reviews are still treasured! So please leave any comments or questions you may have. ^.~
