Hi! Thanks for all the nice revues! You all rock! I still don't own Sailor Moon. And people still get out of character so don't flame me!
Jobs The Senshi Should Never Have: Jobs 21-30
21. Lab Scientists
Usagi: *Looking at instructions* Which one is Hydrogen? Oh well, I'll just us this one! *Picks up nitrogen* *Blows up the lab* O.O
Ami: These experiments are much too basic. I'll do something harder! *Finds the cure to every disease know to man in 32 minutes* I'm bored! There's nothing to do. *Runs around the planet trying to find something to cure*
Rei: *Reading instructions* 'Do not heat past 100 degrees Fahrenheit. *O.O* Uh Oh. *Explosion downstairs* Oops.
Mako: 'Send a small current of electricity through the chemical' Ok Small would about 435453 volts. Alright here I go. *Sends electricity through the chemical* *Lab blows up* I guess my boss has different definition of small.
Minako: *Holding a radio active chemical* It smells good! It must be perfume! *Dumps it on her arm* My skin is dissolving. That can't be a good sign.
Haruka: Uranium plus Seiya equals happiness! *Dumps Uranium on Seiya who is immune to it* Darn it!
Michiru: Oh look hair gel! *It's really Sulfuric Acid* *She puts it in her hair* My hair is falling out! My hair is falling out!
Setsuna: I call the plutonium! *Runs across the lab knocking down about 12 radio active chemicals* It's my Plutonium! You can't have it! ~o.O~
Hotaru: *Sitting in the corner sulking* All the other outers have elements named after them. Uranium, Neptunium, Plutonium. But is there Saturnium? No! I want my radio active chemical!
22. Archeologists
Usagi: *Throwing away 543456546 year old fossils that are worth $4585676535743 each* Rock. Rock. Another rock. Rock...
Ami: *Looks at every single speck of dust under a high power microscope*
Rei: This wouldn't take so long if the brush was more than 2 inches wide. *Gets her broom and tries to sweep the dust away* *8 months later* Too...much...dust...impossible...to...clean...
Mako: Their going to take all day carrying that thing to the truck if they keep being all careful like that. *Grabs bone and throws it into the truck* *It shatters*
Minako: Here let me carry the bone! *Drops the bone and it shatters* oops
Haruka: It'll take forever to clear this site. Let me do it! Uranus World Shaking! *Destroys everything, including the fossils*
Michiru: It's too dry out here in the desert. Let me fix that. Deep Submerge! *Turns desert into an ocean*
Setsuna: Wouldn't it be easier to just go back in time and find real dinosaurs? *Team-yes... but we can't do that* Now you can! *Sends them to the past* Have fun!!!
Hotaru: *Team-get out of the work area little girl. Your mama's probably very worried* I'm an archeologist! *Team-that's nice run along now!* *Hotaru blows up the work site* Run along now your mamas' are probably very worried.
23. Cartoonist
Usagi: I call it...Stick Figures in a Stick Forests!
Ami: I call it...the illustrated computer guide!
Rei: I call it...Flames
Mako: I call it...Stick People Fighting Stick Bad-guys!
Minako: I call it...I am Crakwa, Stick Girl!
Haruka: I call it...I am Cross Dresser, Here Me Roar!
Michiru: I call it...Cascade of Beauty in a Field of Memories. *All: stare*
Setsuna: I call it...Lines, Squares and Circles!
Hotaru: I call it...Me as Stick Person!
24. Clothing Designers
Usagi: Here! I designed a new outfit! *it's a blue mini-skirt and a white leotard, like her other 43556 designs*
Ami: Here you go! A new design! *Boss: this is a picture of a computer. I need clothes*
Rei: I need more paper. It all mysteriously burned. hehe.
Mako: Another Fighting Gi! *It's the 45765468745676 fighting Gi she's designed*
Minako: Here ya go! More designs! *Boss: these photos of your clothes* I know! There All so fashionable! Just like me!
Haruka: Here's my design. *Boss: I need girl's clothing* That is girl's clothing. *Boss: No it's boy's clothing* *Don't be sexist! *Hits him over the head with her sketch pad*
Michiru: Here you go! These are my rough drafts, I'll bring the real copies tomorrow! *Boss starts to cry* *Boss: Thank you!* *hugs Michiru* *Haruka starts trying to kill Boss with her scissors*
Setsuna: Here you go! *Boss: These are lines, circles and scribbles* yah...sooo...
Hotaru: Here's my first set *Boss: There not colored* Oh it's all black.
25. Eye Doctors
Usagi: You have 20/20 vision! Here's your glasses! *Customer: I don't need glasses* Everybody needs glasses!
Ami: I adjusted your contacts to fit your eyes better! *Customer: I don't have contacts*
Rei: Here let me give you laser surgery! *Customer: You don't have a laser* That's alright! I don't need one! Mars flame Sniper! Now all you have to do is let the skin grow back over your eyes!
Mako: *Customer walks in the door* You have 20/20 vision, go away.
Minako: Here, sit in this chair! *10 minutes later* I've secured your glasses to your head! Permanently!!! now you can't lose them!
Haruka: *Young child just asked her if she could get pink glasses* Why would you want pink glasses? Pink is a girl color. Us girls make a stand! Be a cross dresser! Join me in my quest to end male dominance!!!!!!
Michiru: The glasses come in aqua, aqua, and aqua! Which one would you like!
Setsuna: Can you read the top line? *Customer: no* Darn it! I knew it was a bad idea to let Usagi write the chart!
Hotaru: I don't know how to work the equipment, so would please just try on these 48578374687568756 pairs of glasses till you find one you can see through? Thanks!
26. Surgeons
Usagi: Blood. *Passes out*
Ami: Your all better now! The heart transplant went fine! *Patient: But I needed a kidney transplant* oops...
Rei: Ok I know what to do! *10 minutes later* Um, is it a bad thing when the line goes flat?
Mako: Clear!!! *Sends a bolt of electricity through the patient* *City blacks out* oops...
Minako: Don't worry! Being touched by the goddess of love and beauty is enough to heal anyone! 5 minutes later It didn't work!!! *Coworker: No really*
Haruka: I propose that we replace hospital gowns with hospital shirts and pants!
Michiru: Aaahhhh!!! I got blood on me!!! *Passes out*
Setsuna: Hmm, it's a long walk for here to the other side of the hospital...I know! *Jumps on a rolling bed and goes to the other side that way* Wait...This bed doesn't have brakes!!!
Hotaru: I surpassed my goal of becoming a nurse!!! I Rule!!!! *She' getting strange looks from everybody in the room*
27. Garbage Collectors
Usagi: No, somebody is trying to throw away a Sailor Moon manga! *Jumps into the back of the truck to get the manga.*
Ami: *Going through the garbage* This can be recycled, so can this, and this, and this!!!
Rei: I'll just burn it all and not even have to use the truck! 2 hours later *The city is burning down* ok...that wasn't among my most brilliant ideas...
Mako: Stupid piece of junk wont go! Maybe if I kick it...*Kicks the truck* *It starts to roll down the ally* No! I forgot to put it in park! Wait truck! Wait!
Minako: I got garbage in my hair. *Yellow light appears around her and starts to build in intensity* Goodbye Garbage!!! *Wipes out city* Hahaha!!! There is no more garbage!!!
Haruka: Heavy duty machinery! *Evil look* *Seiya: Haruka what are you doing? That's my house! You can't drive a garbage truck through my house!* Yes I can!
Michiru: *Never even showed up for work because she heard the word 'garbage'*
Setsuna: Hehe! I get to drive a big truck! 5 minutes later *Setsuna is arrested for reckless driving*
Hotaru: *Looking at a map of her routes* Wait...it's upside down! I thought I was in the wrong place! *She's in the middle of the pacific ocean*
28. Maids
Usagi: *To customer* Ok! I dusted the living room! Um...that vase wasn't very expensive was it?
Ami: *Everything is spotless, including the cat and the Dalmatian* I guess I made the vacuum a little too strong...
Rei: *To customer* ...I even lit a fire for you! *Customer: but...we don't have a fire place* I know... I used the oven as a fire place and that Persian rug as fuel!
Mako: *Customer finds her on the floor with the vacuum* Um...I can explain...you see I got in a fight with the vacuum...it wasn't listening to me
Minako: Look at your beautiful house! *It's totally demolished*
Haruka: I don't cook, I don't clean, I don't wash things and I don't change things. What would you like me to do?
Michiru: I improved the over all color scheme of you house! *Everything is aqua...even the dog...and the goldfish...and the leather couch*
Setsuna: I decided to fix your attempt at the Egyptian furnishing. *There's a sphinx in the living room and the carpet has been replaced with sand*
Hotaru: Your house was a little too bright...I fixed it for you. *Customers Husband: Honey...why is everything black?*
29. Military Generals
Usagi: And apply the lipstick! Very good! Come on boys! Your lagging behind! We finished the eye-shadow an hour ago!
Ami: Good! 8 more laps! *Boy: But were supposed to be training for the air force! Not the marines!
Rei: And jump! I said jump! Your jumping! *sets the ground on fire* Now, that's jumping!!!!
Mako: jump, kick, punch! Roll, push-up, splits, come on you wimps! Lets go! *Boy: were only 13 and were not superhuman!!
Minako: Alright this all you'll ever need to know in all your days of ground fighting! This is pepper spray! When you push this button spray comes out! Here's what it looks like! *Sprays kid in face* *Kid: Aaahhhh!!! It burns!!! It burns!!!
Haruka: Alright you wimps! I'm going to turn you into men!!! *Man: But your a girl* *Haruka kills him* Any more comments?
Michiru: And were brushing! Good! Come on boys work the gel! Feel the gel! Be one with the hair gel.
Setsuna: This is a gun. This is what a gun does! *Shoots man if first row* Any questions?
Hotaru: Today we're going to work with glaives. *Man: Aren't you a little bit weak to be a general?* *In a few swift movements Hotaru has him pinned to the wall with her glaive* Anybody else?
30. Accountants
Usagi: You have 1 million dollars! *People leave* Wait...there's a decimal there...oops...they have $10
Ami: You have $859,388.87 . Here's a list of houses, and apartments, and cars, and furniture that all fit your budget! *People fall over do to the weight of the paper*
Rei: You have money to burn! Here let me burn it for you! *Sets their wallets on fire* Come back soon!!!
Mako: You have $76,653,846.90!!! May I insist that you sign your child up for martial arts!! *Person: He's three years old* That's ok! Here watch! *Performs martial arts on the boy*
Minako: You have 48,899.72! Here's a list of things you can buy me!
Haruka: You have $40,000! *Everybody she's seen today has had $40,000*
Michiru: You have lots of money! *Person: exactly how much money do we have?* Lots!! *Person: Can you give me a number?* Lots!
Setsuna: You have plenty of money. *Person: Can I buy a house?* Sure. *Person: and a car!* Sure. *She really has $600*
Hotaru: You have $5. Now you owe me $5!
Well...I have some ideas for some other humor fics. Should I continue with this one or do the others? Please tell me! I can't decide!!! It's too hard to decide!!! So please help me!!!!
