Disclaimer : Well as this is the tenth chapter, they all now belong to me! *laughs evilly*…………Okay, they belong to Victor Hugo.

Author's Notes : REVIEWS!!! TheLark – I can't believe you reviewed. I love your writing and to have someone who's fics I've read for so long review mine just made me very very happy. *hugs* Happy Hobo – Well yeah! In the book it clearly states that Tholomyes was Fantine's first and she isn't even a prostitute right now, so I don't understand what you mean in your review. Otherwise thank you for your nice comment, it really means a lot to me.

Well there was going to be a big Fantine/Tholomyes sex scene here, but I realised that I'm the worst sex scene writer ever. So if you came in expecting some Fantine/Tholomyes action, I apologise. Let's just assume they've done it, k?

My Cosette

Nineteen years old! Nineteen and still so young. For two years our happy "double-foursome" existed. Three couples who argued constantly, and one pair who were so in love they believed nothing existed except for them. Or, looking back, that should read – one pair, a man who was in it for fun and a girl who devoted herself completely to him.

Completely. Tholomyes was my first everything. The first person to show me true kindness, the first person to say they loved me, my first kiss and my first lover. He was my first, but I wasn't his.

I loved him a whole lot more than he loved me, I know that now.

"Fantine are you all right?" Dahlia asked, concerned. "You don't look well."

"I'm fine" I replied. "Thank you."

But I wasn't. I felt sick, I threw up most mornings and –

"You've put on weight" Favourite smirked. "Around your stomach."

I folded my arms around my waist protectively. "I know. Thank you." Then I promptly ran off to the back room to be sick. I knew what was wrong, and I guessed Favourite did too.

"She's pregnant!" I heard her announce as I made my way back to the shop.

"Favourite don't say such things.." Dahlia said softly.

"Do you think so?" cried Zephine. "How do you know?"

"It's obvious" Favourite replied, in her know-it-all voice. "Morning sickness, putting on weight.."

"Maybe she's just ill" Dahlia said.

"Dahlia you'll believe anything" Favourite stated. "She's pregnant and that's the end of it."

I whimpered, wanting more than anything to be home. Favourite was right of course. I wasn't sure myself, how could I afford to go to a doctor and have it confirmed? But I always remember one of the urchin girls who got pregnant one winter telling me "even if you don't have it confirmed you just know. You can feel it inside you."

And I could feel it inside me. I hadn't told Tholomyes, he was away and had been for seven months or so – visiting relatives. I had pulled the stitching out of most of my dresses, so they hung loosely over my now large stomach. Favourite, of course, still noticed.

There was a soft knock on the door, and Dahlia entered. "Are you sure you're all right?" she asked, big brown eyes searching my face. "Maybe you should go home"

I thanked her. "Would you mind?"

"Not at all. Go out the back way though, Favourite's in one of her moods."

I smiled, and slipped out.

I can remember the night that urchin girl had the baby. It was raining and she was screaming in time with the lighting and thunder, so not to scare the little ones. I sat beside her holding her hand, and assuring her it would be fine while our oldest urchin attempted to deliver the baby. When the baby came, we all sat up – waiting for a cry that didn't come. It was a little boy we named Jacques, born and buried on the same day.

Halfway home, I felt a shooting pain through my stomach, which made me cry out. A passer by stopped and asked it I was all right.

I replied that I was fine, and hurried to my room. The pain continued, they got worse. They weren't just in my stomach, they were growing – taking me over. I couldn't stop groaning and crying.

I know what it is. I prepare myself, lying on the bare floor of my room and pulling off my underclothes. I start to push, hard pushes that take all of my energy. The woman who lives upstairs starts banging on the floor, asking what's wrong.

One final, agonising push and my baby is born in a hot, slippery rush. And it cries. Loudly.

I'm crying myself, from shock (even thought it wasn't a shock) as I use a knife from the kitchen to cut the umbilical cord. I had to do that for the girl under the bridge too, as she screamed at me to disconnect her from the poor, dead baby. I place the baby on my lap and attempt to sooth it.

Her. It's a girl, and she's beautiful. Her eyes are still shut and her tiny hands and feet are balled up as she cries but she's still beautiful. I bathe her, trying to get off the remains of the blood, and she quietly goes to sleep in my arms. On the spot I name her Euphrasie. It's a name I hate, but it's the name of Tholomyes's mother and I know he'll approve. But I call her Cosette – a name I love.

I was sitting there content, when I glanced at the calendar Tholomyes had bought for me. August the twenty third. And next to it was written (in Tholomyes's neat hand writing, as I could only sign my name) Tholomyes home today. He'll come to visit you as soon as he can. I choked, almost jumping up and waking the baby. How can I tell him? Why didn't I write to him when I first suspected I was pregnant?

It's too late to think of explanations, only thirty minutes later Tholomyes enters holding a vase of flowers. He kisses my forehead and smiles at the sleeping baby. My heart leaps.

"Who's that?" he whispers.

"It's Euphrasie" I reply shyly.

He grins. "Same name as my mother". He walks in the direction of the kitchen calling back "who's baby is she?"

I swallow deeply, clear my throat and reply "ours."

There's a smash from the kitchen, Tholomyes has obviously dropped the vase. He runs back to me. "OURS?"

I nod.

"Fantine.." he runs his hands through his hair. "Oh my…"

"Won't you hold her?" I ask. "She won't cry or anything."

But he's gone. Almost halfway through my sentence he turned on his heel and went through the door. Something he grew accustomed to doing in later years.

I try to convince myself he's gone to buy a present for Cosette, but soon scold myself for being so trusting. After feeding her, Cosette and I go to sleep – she in my bed and me on the floor.

* * *

The next day Tholomyes comes back.

"Where did you go?" I ask, wringing my hands.

"I had to think things over" he replies. "Can I see……it?"

"Euphrasie" I tell him, annoyed. But I go to fetch her, and Tholomyes sits happily with her on his lap for an hour. Then he leaves, saying he'll be back tomorrow.

He isn't.

The day after he returns full of promises – telling me to finish my job and look after Cosette full time. I obey, telling Philip I have found a placement elsewhere.

For a month Tholomyes doesn't come. The lady in the room above looks after the "darling child" when we go out in the double-foursome.

When we separate into our pairs I grab Tholomyes's wrists. "Why haven't you come to see her?"

"What?….Oh Fantine, I've been very busy…."

"You liar!" I scream.

He looks taken back but replies in a tone as loud as my own. "I go away for SEVEN MONTHS and when I come back it's just "oh Tholomyes – here's our baby. Won't you hold her?". I can't just fit into that Fantine! I need time to adjust, it's too much too soon. Why didn't you write to me, warn me?" He pauses, then bellows "how do I even know if she's mine?!?"

I jump. "What?"

"Favourite tells me you've been getting quite a name about the place.."

"Favourite?"

"When the cat's away the mouse will play, is it?"

"You know what she's like! I would never…"

"She seemed honest to me!"

I burst into tears, and bury my head in my hands. I hear him turn and walk away, before changing his mind and coming back.

"I'm sorry Fantine" he says softly, putting his arms around me. "I'll come soon, I promise".

He doesn't.