Saturn88 :Ha! You thought you could get rid of me that easily! No way! I'm back and I'm not ever going to go away again! So there! People get out of character. And I own Sailor Moon!

Pluto : No she doesn't.

Saturn88 : Yes I do! I own you!!! *Evil laugh*

Pluto : Hotaru dear, call the insane asylum, the number's on the fridge.

Jobs The Senshi Should Never Have: Jobs 31-38

31. Butchers

Usagi: Aaahhhh!!! blood!!!! *passes out*

Ami: *Lecturing her boss on how to make the machines more energy efficient*

Rei: I know! I'll pre-cook the beef! 5 minutes later *Trying to explain to her boss how she managed to burn down the entire building in 2 minutes*

Mako: This machine is sooo slow . Maybe if I jump start it with a little electricity...*jump starts the machine* *building blows up*

Minako: *Releases all the livestock* Run! Run and be free!!!!

Haruka: I wonder if Seiya would count as livestock...*Starts to plot*

Michiru: *To co-worker* You got blood on my apron. Now I must kill you. *Chases him around building with a knife*

Setsuna: I cannot kill a living animal. *Haruka: it's a yoma!* Die!!!!

Hotaru: *Trying to lift a knife* It's too heavy!!! *Collapses to floor*

32. Cheerleaders

Usagi: *raising hand* *Coach: No Usagi! For 75,396,874,586th time you may not switch out your cheerleading outfit for your Sailor fuku!*

Ami: *To coach* The pyramid should work if Alison moves 8 mm left, Sandy moves 4 mm right...*Goes on to list all the girls and where they should move*

Rei:*raising hand* *Coach: No Rei, you may not twirl a flaming baton!*

Mako: This a little dull. Blots of lightning would make it more interesting! *Electrocutes every body within 56 miles of the cheerleading field*

Minako: I am the best cheerleader ever!!! *Trips and falls*

Haruka: *Looking at cheerleading outfit* I am not wearing that thing.

Michiru: *raising hand* *Coach: No Michiru we not going to make the outfits aqua*

Setsuna: But I'm a nurse!!! I can't be cheerleader!

Hotaru: I can't believe I'm a flyer. *To catcher* You drop me, I kill you

33. MBI Agents

Usagi: Flashy memory thing! *Flashes herself* who am I?

Ami: I have access to alien government files! Score!!!

Rei: Explain to me again why I can't just burn all of the aliens.

Mako: Whoa big gun. *Fires it* *destroys the world* O.O

Minako: Delete! Delete! Delete! *Boss: What are you doing?* Deleting all your files! *Boss: WHAT?!?!*

Haruka: Yes! Seiya is an unregistered alien! Score!!!

Michiru: *To Boss* We need to change the name of this place to WIA. Women In Aqua! *Boss: Let me think about. No*

Setsuna: What does this shot do? *Injects it into a random human* *They turn yellow and float away* Oh that's what it does!

Hotaru: *To random alien* Can I blowup your home planet? *Strange looks from all within hearing distance*

34. Disney World Characters

Usagi: *As Jasmine from Aladdin* Hi! Hi! Hi! *Trips on little kid*

Ami: *as Snow White* No. I can't sing like a little bird or call up little woodland creatures. But I can teach you algebra!

Rei: *As Minnie Mouse* *Burns down Disney World*

Mako: *As Goofy* *to 3 year old* I know I have girls voice.

Minako: *As Daisy Duck* I wanted to be princess. *Starts to pout*

Haruka: I refuse to dress up as "Sleeping Beauty" *Storms out of park*

Michiru: *To Boss* I am going to be Arial *Boss: No, your Cinderella* I'm Arial!!! *Runs around the park screaming "I'm Arial"*

Setsuna: I control time!!! *Kid: I didn't know that Mickey Mouse controlled time*

Hotaru: Can I be Sailor Saturn? *Boss: No, Sailor Saturn isn't a Disney character* Too bad!!! *Transforms and goes into the park* *Boss: But she isn't Disney Character!!!*

35. Floss Makers

Usagi: Even I couldn't screw this up!!! All you have to do is put wax on a string! 2 minutes later *she's tangled in string and covered in wax* How did I manage to screw this up?

Ami: *To boss* Can I update your machinery? *Boss: No* Can I update your machinery? *Boss: No* Can I update your machinery? *Boss: No* Can I update your machinery? *Boss: No* Can I update your machinery? *Boss: No! Your fired!*

Rei: The wax isn't hot enough to spread on the string. *Evil thoughtful look* I'll just warm it up a little! 1 minute later *the factory is covered in scalding hot wax*

Mako: This is sooooo boring. *Accidentally kicks the conveyer belt* oops *factory blows up*

Minako: *To boss* Can I write 'Sailor V rox' on the string? *Boss: No* Can I write 'Sailor V rox' on the string? *Boss: No* Can I write 'Sailor V rox' on the string? *Boss: No* Can I write 'Sailor V rox' on the string? *Boss: No! Go away insane person!!!*

Haruka: Wax and string, why can't everyone just make their own floss! They need to sacrifice themselves...*Goes on Sacrifice Rant t m *

Michiru: This wax is good for my hands! Can I work overtime? *strange/horrified looks from all*

Setsuna: Aaahhhh!!! The string is moving too fast!!! I can't put wax on it! I know I'll stop time! *Stops time* Now, how do I start time again? *shrugs* Oh well, too bad.

Hotaru: This is boring. *Boss: are you having fun?* *Classic Hotaru Death Glare tm *

36. Cafeteria Workers

Usagi: *To Principal* I cooked all of the food myself! *Kids throwing-up in background*

Ami: I removed all of the sugar and fats from the food to make it healthier! *Kids: NOOOO*

Rei: *kid: It's cold* Here let me warm it up for you, *burns food and child*

Mako: *To Principal* I cooked all of the food myself! *Kids run up and hug her* Um...what are you doing? *kids: we love you!!*

Minako: You little brats should be thankful that there are people like me to serve you food so stop complaining or I'll kill all of you!!! *dead silence* Thank you!

Haruka: *Kid: are you a girl or a guy?* I am a cross dresser. *All Kids: What's a cross dresser?* Well, a cross dresser is a girl that dresses like a guy or a guy that dresses like a girl! the next day *All kids are now cross dressing*

Michiru: Violinists eat free!!! *Violinists: Yippee!*

Setsuna: Here's your food and here's some medicine for upset stomachs, you'll need it!

Hotaru: *kid: your a freak* Is that so? *blasts kid into wall*

37. Authors

Usagi: I call it... Sailor Moon!!! *Boss: that's already been invented* oh, oops.

Ami: *Boss: This is a computer guide* yeah, so?

Rei: *Boss: It's only one word* I know and it's the best word of all time! Fire!

Mako: This about fighting! *Boss: And?* Fighting! *Boss: Anything else?* No, it's about fighting!

Minako: It's about the goddess of love and beauty! *Boss: Um...why is your picture on the front cover?*

Haruka: I call it... become a cross dress in three short sessions!

Michiru: *To boss* Here's the first half! *Boss: Half? But it's 8,765,764,793,485,948 pages long!*

Setsuna: I call it...My days guarding the time gate!

Hotaru: I call it...My Body Was Used As A Host For An Evil Alien Named Mistress 9 Who Was Trying To Take Over The World!

38. Computer Hackers

Usagi: *Reading from hacking handbook* 'Push any key to continue' I can't find the any key!!! *starts to wail*

Ami: *Hacked into the pentagon, white house, and every single government file on earth in 3 minutes flat*

Rei: *messing with people's personal lives by hacking into their E-mail accounts*

Mako: Stupid Computer! *breaks computer* Wait, now I have to buy a new one!!

Minako: Delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete! *Deletes all government files*

Haruka: Minako! Did you delete all the government files?

Michiru: *hacked into make-up company files to make sure the she was the #1 customer*

Setsuna: *did the same thing Ami did except it took her 4 minutes*

Hotaru: Starts World War 3 through E-Mail (accidentally, she got the e-mail addresses of the World Leaders mixed-up)

I know I cut this one a little short, but I wanted to try something new. There are some more little notes at the end of the story. So please enjoy! The story is kind of corny but I thought it was funny! People will still get out of character (what else is new).

Stage Props

Director: Ok! today is the first day of filming for The Sailor Senshi Vs. The Evil Thing !! Before we start for safety reasons we have replaced your weapons and attacks with stage props. We'll use computer graphics to make them look real later.

Yaten: You have got to be kidding. You replaced our stuff! You little-

Seiya: Yaten, chill, it's just for while we're filming. Ok?

Director: Great! Places every body!!!

(Outers go on stage and inners and starlights go off stage)

Yoma: I have taken over the body of the young actor! I will kill you all!!!

Director: Great this looks so real! Just pretend he's still the actor! This is great!

Haruka: Ok then, my next line was...oh yah! I will call up my talisman! My Space...base ball bat? Who wrote these lines their ridicules I would never say something so stupid! And who's idea was this?

(Haruka holds up the base ball bat that replaced her sword)

Michiru: Hush Haruka! It's my turn! I will now call up my talisman!

(Skillet appears)

Michiru: A skillet? What am I supposed to do? Stir-fry him?

Setsuna: Owww!!!! Who's idea was it to replace my rod with a tree limb? I have splinters now!!!!

Hotaru: Here, let me try. I call up my Silence Glaive!

(Broom appears)

(Hotaru stares at the broom in disgust)

(Ami comes into view dragging a full sized harp)

Ami: It's too heavy!!!

(Ami collapses to the ground)

Rei: Here let me! Flame...drum sticks?

Mako: Jupiter Oak...homework?

Minako: This is ridicules! My chain has been replaced by a jump rope!

Usagi: Moon...tree? It's rooted! I can't move it!

Chibi-Usa: Pink Sugar...yummy sugar packets!

(Chibi-Usa starts to eat the sugar straight)

Chibi-Chibi: Chibi!

(Window appears)

(Chibi-Chibi starts to open it and close it over and over again)

Cosmos: I will call up my staff!

(Skyscraper appears)

Cosmos: Ok this is just pathetic.

Yoma: As soon as I defeat you all I will take over the world!!!

Haruka: I don't think so!

(Haruka hits the Yoma with the base ball bat)

(Nothing happens)

(Haruka throws the base ball bat at the director)

(Yoma knocks Haruka unconscious)

Michiru: Will you please get in this skillet so I can stir-fry you?

(Yoma knocks Michiru unconscious)

Setsuna: Splinters!!!

(Yoma knocks Setsuna unconscious)

(Hotaru walks up to the director)

Hotaru: I'm supposed to destroy the world with this?

(Throws the broom at the director)

Hotaru: You destroy the world with a broom

(Hotaru leaves the building/set)

Ami: I can't play the harp!!!

(Yoma knocks Ami unconscious)

Rei: Would ya like some drum sticks?

(Yoma knocks Rei unconscious)

Mako: Do all this homework and come back when your finished.

(Yoma knocks Mako unconscious)

(Minako does an over dramatic approach and attack with the jump rope and gets knocked unconscious)

Usagi: It's rooted!!!

(Yoma knocks Usagi unconscious)

Chibi-Usa: Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Yoma gives sugar high Chibi-Usa a strange look and decides to leave the insane girl alone)

(Yoma knock Chibi-Chibi unconscious while she's playing with the window)

(Yoma approaches Cosmos who runs inside her sky scraper)

Cosmos: There's nothing in here!!! What kind of sky scraper doesn't have stairs or an elevator!!!!!

(Yoma knocks Cosmos unconscious)

Seiya: Star Serious Laser!!!

(A laser false on top of Seiya)

Taiki: Star Gentle Uterus

(Storks start dropping babies)

Taiki: That's not what I meant!!!

(Taiki gets knocked unconscious by a falling baby)

Yaten: Star Sensitive Inferno!!!

(Yaten catches on fire)

(Yoma knocks Yaten unconscious)

(Chibi-Usa knocks yoma unconscious by running him over in her sugar high)

Chibi-Usa: Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3 years later

Chibi-Usa: Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Chibi-Usa finally falls asleep)

(Everybody lives happily ever after...or do they?)

(Saturn88 does an evil laugh)

Ok! So what did you think? I need some advise. Do you want me to put up 10 jobs and no story or 8 jobs and a story? Please tell me. And if you want to post my fan fics on your web site or whatever you don't have to ask me for permission just tell me and give me credit! And please don't flame me. Flames aren't nice.

Back for good,

saturn88