Splitting Personalities ¤~

by Crimson Flame

Disclaimer:::

No not mine.

Warning:::

First attempt on a romantic comedy. And it's slash ( HP/DM ). Do keep an open mind.

Spoilers:::

None that I can think of.

Summary:::

Draco has done it! He managed to become an animagus! The problem is, he can't change back. And what does Harry have to say when he's confronted by the three personalities of his worst enemy? ^__^ HP/DM…Please r/r.

Legend:::

(.…bla bla….) Is thoughts

"….bla bla…." Is normal speech

"….bla bla…." Is Draco's left voice

"….bla bla…." Is Draco's middle voice

".…bla bla…." Is Draco's right voice

º….bla bla….º is Harry's speech in Parseltongue. (I will not put this up when Harry is only talking to Draco)

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Chapter 2

«¤ Harry's pet ¤»

(one of Hogwarts many corridors)

"Get up you idiot!! Get up!!!"

Harry Potter who was lying on the floor, waved blindly at the source of the noise. He closed his eyes even tighter and moved his arm to cover his ears trying to ignore the sound.

"Just one more minute, Ron."

"Ron?"

Harry continued murmuring while clutching the cloak like a blanket and used his arm as a pillow.

"Let me get back to sleep."

"Oooh Harry dear, I have something to tell you….." The voice said in a playful tone.

"Wha-what is it?" Harry said sleepily.

"WAKE UP NOW!!!!"

"Aaaaaa! Ok! Ok! I'm up! I'm up!" Harry bolted upright. Then he gave out a tired yawn. Rubbing his eyes, he got up onto his feet and leaned against the stone wall.

"Last night was horrible. I didn't get much sleep. I had this awful nightmare about that jerk Malfoy." Harry grunted out and yawned again.

"Reeeeally?"

"Yeah…I dreamt that Malfoy was a snake and that he had.." Harry's voice trailed off when he realized that he had heard hissing from his mouth rather than normal speech.

"Oh please, do go on. It sounds interesting."

"Yeah, Harry's voice does sound interesting."

"Uh..I think he meant what Potter was saying and not how he was saying it."

"Oh."

"Someone just shoot me."

Slowly Harry looked down and stared. There it was, the creature from his dream last night..um actually it was only about half an hour ago. He backed away uncertainly against the wall and stuttered out.

"M-malfoy?? I-is that really y-you??"

"Congratulations!! That is correct!! You've won a one way ticket to Slow-and-Stupid-Land!! Enjoy your trip and have lots of fun!!"

"Hey. That was mean."

"We really shouldn't do that if we want to ask him for help."

Harry sighed as he slumped down onto the floor again and hugged his knees to his chest. He looked back at the three headed snake as it slithered up to his legs and stared at him with its mismatched eyes while flickering its cute little forked tongues.

"So what had happened to you Malfoy?" Harry said curiously with a raised eyebrow.

¤~¤~¤

(Walking down another corridor)

"I can't believe it! You actually picked the one tree that would ruin the whole spell to be near to. That's simply hillarious!! Hahahaha!" Harry said laughing as quietly as he could, though he wasn't very successful at.

Both the middle and right head glared at the left one.

"What?! So it's my fault now?"

"You ARE the planner. God help if dreamer here was the one doing the planing."

"So what if I was?"

"YOU WERE??!!"

"Oops."

"I knew it! No wonder all that had happened. Dreamer here had been the dominant one."

"I'm going to kill you!!!"

Harry was choking with more laughter and he had to struggle to keep his hold on Malfoy's clothes, his own cloak and the library book as his body shook violently. He had gone off to pick up the things Malfoy had left behind near the forest while Malfoy slithered by his side, explaining what had happened.

"You guys, haha, stop that. You'll make me laugh even, hahaha, louder and we'll all get, ha, caught!" Harry managed to say out between laughing and catching his breath.

"I'm glad you find this funny Potter."

"I'm glad too!"

"I was being sarcastic you idiot!!"

"You were?"

"For God's sake, yes! You are such a dimwit!"

"I-I am?"

"Uh…I think we should keep it down."

"I think he's right."

"Y-you do?" he said sadly.

"I'm amazed. You don't really agree with me, do you?"

"No, I don't. I mean yes, I do. I mean..ugh this is getting confusing." Harry could almost feel his eyes swirling in his head in confusion.

"What exactly are you saying?"

"What I meant was, I don't think that he is a dimwit." Harry said pointing to the middle head. It sighed happily.

Then he pointed to the right head. "I do however, don't agree with him." The right head shrugged and looked away.

Lastly, he pointed to the left head "And I think he is right. We should keep our voices down. We might get…"

"Caught!!" Argus Filch, the Hogwarts caretaker grinned down menacingly at him.

"Shit." Harry muttered a silent curse

¤~¤~¤

(Dumbledore's office)

Filch had half-walked, half-dragged Harry to the Headmaster's office. Muttering the password softly so that Harry couldn't hear, he had pushed the reluctant boy into the room as soon as the gargoyle had stepped aside.

Professor Albus Dumbledore was at his table, writing on a bit of parchment with an almost ancient looking quill. Fawkes was already fast asleep on its perch and didn't even notice the new company. As the headmaster wrote on, Harry briefly wondered if the old wizard ever slept at all.

Dumbledore looked up suddenly, slightly surprised at the 'visit'. Filch told him about Harry loitering in the hallway well past bedtime. The headmaster nodded, smiling casually and dismissed the caretaker. Filch left the office to haunt another corridor and to terrorize other students who were unfortunate enough to get caught.

After Filch left, Dumbledore gestured for Harry to seat on the couch in front of him. Nervously Harry sat down, but said nothing. The deafening silence was broken by the older wizard's amused voice.

"Well Harry my boy, you do know of the school rule number 173?"

"Um…Always put down the toilet seats, sir?"

The headmaster appeared puzzled for a while.

"What? Oh, yes. Quite right. What I meant was rule number 137."

"No wandering away from the house towers after lights out. Yes I know sir." Harry said guiltily.

"I see." Dumbledore put on a serious face and he looked at Harry tentatively.

Harry cringed under the weight of the stare and slumped deeper and deeper into the couch. He didn't think that the headmaster would be that angry.

"Well, I suppose I should have expected that from the son of the best rule breaker in Hogwarts history. Don't you think so, Harry?" Dumbledore suddenly said smiling with a twinkle in his eyes.

Harry gulped and laughed nervously in agreement. "I'm very sorry, professor. It's just that I was hungry and.."

"That's quite alright Harry. What you need is a week's detention and 20 points will be taken from Gryffindor House. Hopefully you won't take to exploring school grounds late at night?"

"Yes sir." Harry said almost relieved.

"Hey! That's not fair! Potter's getting off it easy!"

"Shhhh"

"Be quiet."

"Well, and what do we have here?" Dumbledore said with an amused tone in his voice.

"Oh no. Do something Harry!"

Harry looked around searching for an excuse. Finally he said,

"It's uh.. nothing sir. Just the wind."

"Why my dear boy, I didn't know that you could make hissing sounds with wind under your robes." The headmaster replied smiling cunningly.

"Well I-I, uh.."

"It's quite alright, Harry. I'm merely curious. That's all."

Harry sighed as he reached under his robes to untangle the snake from the length of his arm. Malfoy had decided to tag along since he had a hard time finding his way around and had managed to slip onto Harry's hand unnoticed by Filch. For the moment, he wished he hadn't.

As the striking serpent was revealed before the old wizard, Dumbledore's smile dropped a notch and was replaced with a hint of worry.

"Harry, is this creature yours?"

"What do you mean sir?"

"Is that your pet Harry? If not, than it must be a wild serpent and it could be a danger to the students. If it is wild, then it should go back to where it belongs. Which is most probably the Forbidden Forest."

"What??!!"

º Now that's a good idea, isn't it Malfoy? You should enjoy a nice holiday in the Forbidden Forest. Take it as a wildlife adventure. º

"No Harry! Help us! Say something!"

º Like what? º

"Say that we're your new pet."

º You do know, you owe me big time for this. I want to know what I get in return. º

"A clear conscience?"

º Say hello to the centaurs for me Malfoy. º

"No wait! What do you suggest Potter?"

º Hmm, let me think. Ah yes I know. You'll owe me 10 favors/deeds of which I can do with you in whatever way I wish. º

"Two favors."

º Eight. º

"Four."

º Six. º

"Five."

º Nine. º

"Seven?"

º Deal!!!! º Harry said grabbing the end of his tail and shaking it.

"No!!! Dreamer you idiot! Leave the bargaining to me."

"This is going to be so much fun!" Harry said under his breath excitedly.

"I'm sorry Harry. What did you say?" Dumbledore was looking at Harry, confused with the whole incomprehensible conversation.

"Um..I said that it is my pet, sir."

"Hmm…I can't say I approve much of pets such as Runespoors, Harry. They do have that reputation of being favorite pets of Dark wizards. However, I will not be one to judge on reputation alone. You may keep it on the condition that no harm befalls any of the students or staff at Hogwarts. Do you understand?"

"Yes sir."

"Excellent." The headmaster gave a smile and a slight nod. "And make sure you take good care of…"

"Mal.."

"Stop! You can't tell him our name, you nitwit!"

º Then what? º

"Make something up!"

"How about Draco?"

"That's the same thing. Quit dreaming around!"

"Harry?"

(Uh..Draco Draco Draco…I got it!) Harry suddenly had an idea.

"It's Codra, sir."

Dumbledore's expression changed from one of confusion to curiosity.

"Hmm…What about it's three heads?"

"Left's Blossom, middle's Bubbles and the right one's Buttercup." Harry replied immediately.

"POTTER!!!"

"Harry!"

"Potter!!!"

"Hahaha. Sorry, I had to say that." Harry laughed sincerely.

"Actually, I think..I will call the left one, Sildra, the middle one, Goldra and the right one, Rudra."

"Now that's more decent Potter."

º Glad you think so. º

"Those are nice names you have chosen my boy. Well then, take care of Codra properly Harry. I hear Runespoors are quite a task to handle. You may leave now and I suggest you get some sleep. You still have hmm.. let's see four more hours before your first class?" He said with a twinkle in his eye.

"Oh my God! Thank you sir! Bye sir! See you sir!" Harry shouted out hurriedly. He grabbed Malfoy by his tail and dashed out of the office with the serpent's three heads flying horizontally in the air..

"AAAAAA!!!!"

"I'm going to be sick."

"Look Harry! I'm flying! I'm flying!"

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OMG!! 16 reviews!!(broke my record of reviews per chapter ^__^) Thank you so much!!!

Jhd2u, scarlet-fever8, Sillie, me, Forfirith, moriavis, Kimmy, Whitethorn, nightwing, Remmy, Liliku, WildfireFriendship, Anar, Violet Rose, Belle and Akiko!.

I love u all N I hope U'll keep on reading!!

Quick note::

(1) The Runespoor was once a favorite pet of Dark wizards

Info from:: 'Fantastic Beasts & Where to Find Them' by Newt Scamander

(2) Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup are the Powerpuff girls ^__^ (but I guess all of you know that) and their personalities almost match perfectly.

(3) "I'm flying.Jack I'm flying." Comes from Titanic. ^___^

Alright people! Do the R thing! ^__^

=CF=