A/N: Ooops! I never meant to take this long with the update, but I got a
bit caught up with my original fic. My most sincere apologies for any
ulcers, strokes, heart attacks or high blood pressure I may have caused
inadvertently! Anyway, about this fic, I really wanted to get it finished
in just one more chapter, but there were so many issues to deal with, and
loose ends to tie up, that I STILL haven't reached the end. Will this thing
ever end?????
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Chapter 19
"You sure?"
"Yes Brennan, I am absolutely positive that Rhian is dead." Adam sighed as he debated how to make the elemental understand without being brutal. Adam had pronounced Rhian dead within seconds of her arrival in Sanctuary, and then Shalimar had taken an unconscious Jesse to the lab whilst Emma had helped Brennan lay Rhian out.
"What if you're wrong? It's not unheard of," Bren continued doggedly.
"Bren, honey, Rhian's dead. I saw the readout myself," Emma told him gently as she stroked his arm reassuringly. He shook his head as tears came to his eyes unbidden.
"Well, I'm not going to just leave her alone here," he choked as he grabbed a chair and pulled it up against Rhian's lifeless body. Adam pulled Emma away gently into the corridor.
"You're going to have to leave him to it, Emma. He'll come to terms with it in his own time." At that, an angry growl erupted from the lab, and a furious Jesse shot out, pushing past Emma and Adam. Suddenly, he turned and grabbed Adam by the throat, pinning him up against the wall.
"Where is she?" he snarled in his face. Adam spluttered, unable to breathe, as Emma replied.
"Jesse, put Adam down, and we can talk about this."
"No!" he shouted, shaking Adam and flinging him to the floor. "She's here somewhere and you're trying to keep us apart." He raised his head and sniffed, apparently catching her scent and turning into the room where they had left her. Adam rubbed his neck and picked himself up hurriedly. He had seldom seen a feral this irate, and it was never a good sign. He rushed in behind Jesse in time to see him stop in his tracks and bare his teeth at Brennan.
"She's mine," he snarled menacingly. "She doesn't want you." Brennan refused to acknowledge him, still sitting, holding her hand. Jesse growled under his breath as he pounced and lashed out at Brennan, trying to lure him away from Rhian. The elemental reacted, fighting back, but Jesse had the superior strength, and finally he knocked Brennan to the floor.
"Don't you dare touch her," Brennan told him coldly. "She died saving you, can't you just let her be, now that she's dead?" Jesse froze as he crouched over Rhian. He pawed at her body a few times, before clutching her shoulders and shaking her roughly.
"No! This isn't the way it was supposed to be!" he cried out as he lifted her body up. He never saw the punch come, as Brennan's fist connected with his jaw, knocking him out cold.
"Emma, bring me an anaesthetic," called Adam as he ran towards the unconscious Jesse. "He's becoming more unstable. We have to get him treated quickly, before it's too late."
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A few hours later, Brennan was still sitting by Rhian when Adam walked in. He pulled up another chair and sat in silence for a while before speaking.
"I'm so sorry, Brennan. There was no way anyone could have survived an electric blast of that strength." Brennan merely nodded.
"How's Jesse?" he asked after a few minutes of silence.
"I think we got to him in time. He should make a full physical recovery. As to his mind, we won't know the extent of the psychological effects until he comes round."
"That's good," Bren mumbled, before lapsing into silence once again. "Adam," he started after a while. He hesitated before continuing, "I'm sorry for the way I reacted to you and Emma." Adam reached out a hand and patted him reassuringly on the shoulder.
"Don't worry about it Brennan. I can understand your reaction, and I expected it. It's just a little hard to deal with it in practice." Brennan looked up at him for the first time.
"I know you two are good for each other. You'll be very happy together." Once again, silence reigned for a few minutes as the two men sat in companionable silence, the tension released between them.
"Brennan, do you want to talk about this?" Adam finally asked. Brennan shrugged.
"There's nothing to talk about. She's dead." His eyes gleamed with unshed tears.
"You have never reacted like this to the deaths of others. You haven't known her for very long, so this is something else, and I think it would help you to talk about it."
"What do you want me to say? That I loved her?"
"If it's the truth."
"Not initially. I didn't think I did."
"What changed?"
"We talked. We got to know each other."
"And then?" There was a pause.
"I'm in love with her." Adam kept silent as Brennan frowned, trying to make sense of his thoughts and feelings. "I knew that I was attracted to her, but I never believed in love at first sight."
"Is that what happened?"
"I don't know. I was attracted to her from the beginning. I think I came to love her within the first few hours after we started talking." Brennan looked at Rhian lying next to him. "Why is it that after months of waiting for this to happen, it's taken away from me?"
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Shal had been sitting beside Jesse's inert form, willing him to wake up since Adam treated him. The waiting was killing her, she had too many questions for him, too may unresolved issues, and she didn't like waiting. She looked at his sleeping face, her gaze travelling down to watch his chest rise and fall gently and wondered what was to become of their relationship.
"Shal, aren't you bored of sitting there?" Shal jerked up and out of her pensive state.
"Jesse?" she asked almost not believing that he's finally woken up. He smiled wanly. "Are you feeling OK?"
"As OK as I can be, I suppose," he replied. He paused as his face flushed. "Shal, I have to tell you, I remember everything I did as a feral, and I am so unbelievably sorry." She stroked his face tenderly as she smiled. She was relieved that the old Jesse was back.
"I know. I understand," she replied.
"I remember everything so clearly. It's like a vivid dream, but everything made so much sense at the time. I was meant to be with Rhian, I despised you all for separating us . . ." His voice trailed off.
"Adam told us what to expect, Jess. You were under the influence of an immensely strong feral instinct without the self-control that comes after years of learning to deal with developing feral characteristics. You were bound to succumb completely to the blood lust."
"I betrayed Mutant X, Shal. And worst of all, I betrayed you," he whispered guiltily.
"I know, Jess. I can't deny that I thought you had given up on us when I saw you with her, but I understand why you did that. You can't carry on feeling guilty because that is what's going to ruin your relationship with the others, and with me." He stared into her eyes, willing himself to believe what she was telling him, wanting not to feel the guilt that was consuming him, but it wasn't working. He shook his head resignedly.
"I can't ask you or the others to forgive me. The least I can do it try to make it up to you all somehow."
Shal sighed as she understood what he was saying. She herself was having problems biting down the feelings of resentment and anger towards him, even though she understood the logic behind Adam's explanations. She knew that deep down she still loved him, still wanted to be with him, and that it wasn't just the memories, but if Jesse was also having trouble dealing with his guilt, there was no way this relationship was going to work out. She stroked his hair fondly, making him look her in the eye.
"What now then?" she asked softly.
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Framling - Thanks for the compliment, but I think my action scenes are awful. I don't have much confidence with them, so my trick is to try and get them over with as soon as possible without dwelling too much on the details of the actual fight! I'm actually really chuffed that you like them!
evanfarmersonlygirl - Your wish is my command!
Emma0211 - To answer your questions 1. What do you think? 2. This chapter should have answered that one and 3. You're going to have to wait for the next chapter!!
brigitta - You should know me and my twists by now! ;o)
K.A.T.E. - Sorry, I don't watch Andromeda, but I think I understand what you mean! Glad you liked it!
MoonDragon - Thanks for the review. Hope you managed to make it to the 19th chapter!
I'm hoping to get to 100 reviews, so please, pleeeeease tell me you guys are going to leave more than 2 reviews!! Oh, and I promise I'll try and speed up the last chapter! :oD
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Chapter 19
"You sure?"
"Yes Brennan, I am absolutely positive that Rhian is dead." Adam sighed as he debated how to make the elemental understand without being brutal. Adam had pronounced Rhian dead within seconds of her arrival in Sanctuary, and then Shalimar had taken an unconscious Jesse to the lab whilst Emma had helped Brennan lay Rhian out.
"What if you're wrong? It's not unheard of," Bren continued doggedly.
"Bren, honey, Rhian's dead. I saw the readout myself," Emma told him gently as she stroked his arm reassuringly. He shook his head as tears came to his eyes unbidden.
"Well, I'm not going to just leave her alone here," he choked as he grabbed a chair and pulled it up against Rhian's lifeless body. Adam pulled Emma away gently into the corridor.
"You're going to have to leave him to it, Emma. He'll come to terms with it in his own time." At that, an angry growl erupted from the lab, and a furious Jesse shot out, pushing past Emma and Adam. Suddenly, he turned and grabbed Adam by the throat, pinning him up against the wall.
"Where is she?" he snarled in his face. Adam spluttered, unable to breathe, as Emma replied.
"Jesse, put Adam down, and we can talk about this."
"No!" he shouted, shaking Adam and flinging him to the floor. "She's here somewhere and you're trying to keep us apart." He raised his head and sniffed, apparently catching her scent and turning into the room where they had left her. Adam rubbed his neck and picked himself up hurriedly. He had seldom seen a feral this irate, and it was never a good sign. He rushed in behind Jesse in time to see him stop in his tracks and bare his teeth at Brennan.
"She's mine," he snarled menacingly. "She doesn't want you." Brennan refused to acknowledge him, still sitting, holding her hand. Jesse growled under his breath as he pounced and lashed out at Brennan, trying to lure him away from Rhian. The elemental reacted, fighting back, but Jesse had the superior strength, and finally he knocked Brennan to the floor.
"Don't you dare touch her," Brennan told him coldly. "She died saving you, can't you just let her be, now that she's dead?" Jesse froze as he crouched over Rhian. He pawed at her body a few times, before clutching her shoulders and shaking her roughly.
"No! This isn't the way it was supposed to be!" he cried out as he lifted her body up. He never saw the punch come, as Brennan's fist connected with his jaw, knocking him out cold.
"Emma, bring me an anaesthetic," called Adam as he ran towards the unconscious Jesse. "He's becoming more unstable. We have to get him treated quickly, before it's too late."
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A few hours later, Brennan was still sitting by Rhian when Adam walked in. He pulled up another chair and sat in silence for a while before speaking.
"I'm so sorry, Brennan. There was no way anyone could have survived an electric blast of that strength." Brennan merely nodded.
"How's Jesse?" he asked after a few minutes of silence.
"I think we got to him in time. He should make a full physical recovery. As to his mind, we won't know the extent of the psychological effects until he comes round."
"That's good," Bren mumbled, before lapsing into silence once again. "Adam," he started after a while. He hesitated before continuing, "I'm sorry for the way I reacted to you and Emma." Adam reached out a hand and patted him reassuringly on the shoulder.
"Don't worry about it Brennan. I can understand your reaction, and I expected it. It's just a little hard to deal with it in practice." Brennan looked up at him for the first time.
"I know you two are good for each other. You'll be very happy together." Once again, silence reigned for a few minutes as the two men sat in companionable silence, the tension released between them.
"Brennan, do you want to talk about this?" Adam finally asked. Brennan shrugged.
"There's nothing to talk about. She's dead." His eyes gleamed with unshed tears.
"You have never reacted like this to the deaths of others. You haven't known her for very long, so this is something else, and I think it would help you to talk about it."
"What do you want me to say? That I loved her?"
"If it's the truth."
"Not initially. I didn't think I did."
"What changed?"
"We talked. We got to know each other."
"And then?" There was a pause.
"I'm in love with her." Adam kept silent as Brennan frowned, trying to make sense of his thoughts and feelings. "I knew that I was attracted to her, but I never believed in love at first sight."
"Is that what happened?"
"I don't know. I was attracted to her from the beginning. I think I came to love her within the first few hours after we started talking." Brennan looked at Rhian lying next to him. "Why is it that after months of waiting for this to happen, it's taken away from me?"
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Shal had been sitting beside Jesse's inert form, willing him to wake up since Adam treated him. The waiting was killing her, she had too many questions for him, too may unresolved issues, and she didn't like waiting. She looked at his sleeping face, her gaze travelling down to watch his chest rise and fall gently and wondered what was to become of their relationship.
"Shal, aren't you bored of sitting there?" Shal jerked up and out of her pensive state.
"Jesse?" she asked almost not believing that he's finally woken up. He smiled wanly. "Are you feeling OK?"
"As OK as I can be, I suppose," he replied. He paused as his face flushed. "Shal, I have to tell you, I remember everything I did as a feral, and I am so unbelievably sorry." She stroked his face tenderly as she smiled. She was relieved that the old Jesse was back.
"I know. I understand," she replied.
"I remember everything so clearly. It's like a vivid dream, but everything made so much sense at the time. I was meant to be with Rhian, I despised you all for separating us . . ." His voice trailed off.
"Adam told us what to expect, Jess. You were under the influence of an immensely strong feral instinct without the self-control that comes after years of learning to deal with developing feral characteristics. You were bound to succumb completely to the blood lust."
"I betrayed Mutant X, Shal. And worst of all, I betrayed you," he whispered guiltily.
"I know, Jess. I can't deny that I thought you had given up on us when I saw you with her, but I understand why you did that. You can't carry on feeling guilty because that is what's going to ruin your relationship with the others, and with me." He stared into her eyes, willing himself to believe what she was telling him, wanting not to feel the guilt that was consuming him, but it wasn't working. He shook his head resignedly.
"I can't ask you or the others to forgive me. The least I can do it try to make it up to you all somehow."
Shal sighed as she understood what he was saying. She herself was having problems biting down the feelings of resentment and anger towards him, even though she understood the logic behind Adam's explanations. She knew that deep down she still loved him, still wanted to be with him, and that it wasn't just the memories, but if Jesse was also having trouble dealing with his guilt, there was no way this relationship was going to work out. She stroked his hair fondly, making him look her in the eye.
"What now then?" she asked softly.
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Framling - Thanks for the compliment, but I think my action scenes are awful. I don't have much confidence with them, so my trick is to try and get them over with as soon as possible without dwelling too much on the details of the actual fight! I'm actually really chuffed that you like them!
evanfarmersonlygirl - Your wish is my command!
Emma0211 - To answer your questions 1. What do you think? 2. This chapter should have answered that one and 3. You're going to have to wait for the next chapter!!
brigitta - You should know me and my twists by now! ;o)
K.A.T.E. - Sorry, I don't watch Andromeda, but I think I understand what you mean! Glad you liked it!
MoonDragon - Thanks for the review. Hope you managed to make it to the 19th chapter!
I'm hoping to get to 100 reviews, so please, pleeeeease tell me you guys are going to leave more than 2 reviews!! Oh, and I promise I'll try and speed up the last chapter! :oD
