DISCALIMER: (sine I've forgotten for the past TWO chapters!) I do not own any of the characters in this story, or the plot or anything else I may forget. They are all copyright Sherwood Smith, in all her wonderful glory.
A/N: Sorry, sorry, and more apologies than I can muster for putting this up so late. I just wanted to get my other chapters up, which is why I've taken so long writing this! Because of that, I'm going to thank you all individually and answer questions, after the chapter is over. Oh, or some STUPID reason, the italics didn't work all the way for the last chapter. *crosses fingers* let's hope this one's okay!
Just one more note. This is just an interpretation of Vidanric's thoughts…I could seriously mess up something about them, because I didn't create him. I'd love to hear what other people think (or thought) Vidanric would have done, it would give me another view into the story…and it could be more accurate to maybe what Sherwood Smith thought :)
Oh! One more thing! This, and all the other stories I update today, are dedicated to my sister, Andrea. I know you wanted to go to Nationals An, and you wanted to be on our team to do that, but just be patient! I prrrooomiiise you it's not going to be great! (there's my little 'partying' ethic that will get in the way :P) plus, maybe you can come!!!
Chapter 3:
The Marquise's gathering was what I expected. I returned form it more jumpy and suspicious than I had ever been around her. My spies had circulated her, and her offspring, but so far they could only tell bits and pieces. And it was frustrating.
When I arrived at my rooms, I loosed my pale hair, pausing only to run my hands through it nervously before falling into an unsatisfying sleep. I didn't know what to do, how I was going to do it, or what would happen if I did. Elenet would arrive soon, and once she did, I would be forced to do something. And without knowing what the hell I was doing, it would be a disaster.
Needless to say, when I woke up in the morning, it was late, and induced by the prodding of the ever-thoughtful Sirkar. I dressed, tied up my hair, and prodded my sleepy gray eyes to make it seem as if I had actually been doing something more productive than restlessly dreaming.
Throughout the day I did things I didn't want to do, with an increasingly foul mood. So by the time I got back to my chambers in the late afternoon, the spy waiting for me at the entrance was not a pleasant surprise.
Sirkar admitted him into the sitting room, following me. As we sat, the spy looked distraught, and I was plummeted into uncertainty. "Report," I said reluctantly, leaning back for support on the couch.
The man – part of my regime at Renselaeus – fingered a simple gold ring on his right hand nervously. "There are two things. One, The Marquise has gone home to the family's estates."
I looked at him with incredulity, "I know that the news brings suspicious tidings, but it hardly deserves the ominous tone you give it!" If that was all there was, I could easily have it looked into to. Or perhaps it was bad, and I was just so glad to not have worse tidings.
"I said there were two things." He said to me quietly, and my heart stopped. "The Countess Meliara Astiar of Tlanth was spotted at the residence…and evidence suggests she has entered into a dalliance with Lord Flauvic."
My throat tightened and my breath came in short rasps. I lowered my eyes and but my lip, but I knew I had to speak. In a slow, forced voice I asked, "What…sort of evidence?"
"She was seen kissing him."
"Did she break away?" I hoped it didn't sound pathetic, but it was a slim chance that my comments were even in the guise of being nonchalant. Every single one of my servants knew my partiality.
The spy thought for a moment, a half smile on his face. He turned back to me, "I believe she did."
As my heart leapt, I cursed myself. I couldn't brush this off because I wanted it never to have happened. Did this mean she had chosen the Marquise? Or if she hadn't, was Flauvic going to lead her to that path? I had to watch her, and I had to make the right decision if the relation progressed. I knew of the letter the Marquise sent, I knew she wanted Mel on her cause. It was all set up perfectly: Mel only had to topple one way or the other, and my way wasn't looking too good. I had to forget about partiality.
Worst of all, I had to believe in the worst-case scenario: Mel loved Flauvic.
I thanked the spy, and dismissed him, all distantly. It was only when I sat down that I realized Mel had written me a letter. I numbly opened it, and leaned back on the couch to read it.
The millions of ideas and hopes that flowed into phrases my made heart plummet over and over again. She talked to me like no one ever had, and it was all through text. If only I could hear the words from her lips, see the honest intent in here eyes! Maybe then I would be assured she was on my side. I felt wounded, reading these words and thinking of what she had done with Flauvic.
When I finished the letter, I had finally come to a conclusion. Whatever I may do as a diplomat, what I did as a person would always overcome it. I could not suppress my feelings, nor could I diminish the hope that since Mel pulled away she did not want any part of the kiss. Because of that doubt, I decided that until otherwise noted, I would act as if it never happened.
Ah yes, denial was a wonderful thing.
I took the letters down to the library, and then through to my haven, where the memoirs were kept. The room was subtle, and soothing. The blank pieces of parchment were calling me to fill them with every thought that had ever entered my mind, to reveal it all to her. I began writing furiously, not simply replying point on point to her arguments, but freely letting my thoughts flow and form into whatever they wished.
I suddenly heard a noise at the entrance, and I snapped my eyes from the paper – into the beautiful ones of the Countess.
I immediately did not know what to do, or say. The only things present in my mind were the facts that she had just kissed Lord Flauvic, and that she was enchantingly, mind-numbingly stunning when she blushed. My hands went from my hair, smoothly pulled back, to the velvet black and gold trim I had on. She must think I was pretentious, to come sitting here in my Court-wear. I had truly forgotten to change– on account of the news she herself had made.
And then I shock resounded through the very soul of my body. I was kneeling at the table, casually bathing in the sunlight with expensive clothes, and I, the Unknown, was writing a letter to her.
What if she found out?
Surprisingly, the thought was not all that unpleasant to me, but I knew it was still too early…and I feared rejection, if you want to know. But Meliara didn't seem to take note. She looked away from my eyes, which were now swirling incomplete and mystified thoughts about Flauvic, love and letters, and her blush deepened.
"Harantha Chamadis. Thirav Astiar. The Treaty of Seven Rivers. Is there a record?" Her voice was short and clipped, and I could not help but be reminded of a diplomat, avoiding a quarrel.
Slightly down-trodden by the tone, scared to death she would find out who exactly it was I was writing to, and not being able to trust my voice, I mutely pointed my pen to the particular shelf those memoirs were kept.
She walked over and found them, leafing through the pages for a moment. She turned to me, "Do you need my reason - "
I cut in, trying my best to sound light, trying to hide my terror of her finding out. "Just put it back when you're done." I kept writing, studiously glaring at my parchment. But she still stood. Even as the fear grew, there was a small hope in me as I asked, "Was there something else?"
She said quickly, "The party, for Bran and Nee. Do you – should I send you – "
I let the smile that had been with me all along show as I remembered Bran and Nee's party, "It would cause a deal of talk if you were to avoid inviting any of my family."
"Oh." She swallowed, "Yes, indeed."
I couldn't open my mouth; I was so nervous, and so confused about everything all over again. So I stupidly dipped my pen and continued on my task. It was only a moment before she was lost from my sight again, and I was left cursing myself.
________
I don't remember much about the next days, except the torrent of letters I received, and the wonderful happiness it gave me. She talked about everything and anything with me (as I tried my best to forget it was because she didn't know it was actually me). As the letters progressed, I found my role of mentor shedding, and I began to use my often dry and acidic sense of humour, often without knowing it until I reread the letter. I began to believe I might actually have a chance.
Of course, these hopes were always abolished when I saw her slipping away at a dance, away from me, probably to check the memoirs when I wasn't there. I felt stupid, making that place my haven, when I had an enormous writing chamber in the Royal Wing. She had probably been going in there for quite some time, and must have used it just as I did – except she, not being a snotty, arrogant Marquis, did not have another writing chamber to go to.
I could neither help noticing that any social gathering I was at, Mel wasn't there. This made it very hard for my servants, who were desperately trying to pair me up. I supposed Bran and Nee had some sort of agreement with her, for you'd figure at least once she would show up.
It was all very discouraging.
I was sitting in my room, mulling this over with a hefty feeling of self-pity, when there was a light knock on my door. I answered by letting Sirkar in, who was wearing a vague smile on his face. Not one for suspense, he began immediately.
"Lady Elenet Kheraev of Grumareth has arrived at the Residence."
Finally. I had been waiting for her to arrive for weeks, gritting my teeth and clenching my fists as well as creating unbelievable amounts of stress for myself. Someone needed to warn the Merindar's that we were on – at least in theory – to what they were planning. And if that someone didn't, I don't know who could have stopped them.
As I walked down into the courtyard, I saw Elenet and her entourage waiting. She was dressed in a stark white undershirt, with a pearl, silk embroidered over shirt. It was swoop necked, and had a thick gold collar. Her riding pants were of more durable material, cotton probably, and were dyed the same off white as her shirt.
Although her dressings had become more expensive, she was just as I remembered. That same heart-shaped face, those same soft, blue-gray eyes and that same quiet demeanor. Her hair had darkened a little, from fair blond to a halfway point between hay and chocolate.
As she saw me, she smiled a quiet, pleasant smile. I went up to her and pressed her hand to my lips, glad she was back. There seemed to be an odd glint in her eyes – one I hadn't noticed before, but it was swallowed up by a flash of memory: Mel's dark blue eyes flashing up with a vengeance I couldn't control.
Swallowing hard, I let her servants lead her to her rooms, promising we would talk tomorrow, over the riding party, but for now she had to make herself comfortable. I walked back to my chambers as evening fell. It was a beautiful night, and my plan was finally coming together, but I was restless. Was it because I wanted to talk to Elenet? Was it because of that odd glint that put me off? And…why did I want to look in Mel's eyes to see if that glint was there?
Shaking it off, I walked up to my rooms, ready to write another letter to Mel. As I got the paper out, there was another knock on the door. Reluctantly I got up, and opened it to find Sirkar again, with an even wider smile on his face.
"What is it?" I asked curiously.
As Sirkar held out a small box of cedar, without any note attached, I took it carelessly and dismissed him, sitting down on the couch. I was about to lay it aside for later, thinking it was a present Elenet's family or friends had sent to thank me. But, for one reason or another, I decided to open it.
And when I did, it immediately went crashing to the floor.
All I could think were incoherent things, and a slight babble came out of my jaw, that was virtually to the floor. For, rolling out of the box onto the floor, was a small ring made of ekirth, and around it was etched laurel leaves. I stared at it for several moments longer, the way the light shone off and was swallowed by it. I gaped at the concept.
Meliara had sent me a ring.
Life, I felt like a little wisp of wind being torn up by a cyclone. I picked it up carefully, reverently, and slipped it on my smallest finger. Of course I couldn't wear it in public without gloves, but…Life. Meliara had sent me a ring. The feeling was like slowly becoming intoxicated…everything around me blurred, and I felt faint and strong and the same time.
That's about when it crashed down around me.
She hadn't sent me a ring; she had sent the Unknown one. Who knew what she would do if she actually discovered me? Who knew if she was even aware of exactly what a ring meant in terms of friendship and courtship?
I sighed, and although part of me wanted to take the ring off, I couldn't bear to. That night, I even wore it to sleep, even more confused than before about what I should do about the predicament (or perhaps blessing) I had gotten myself into.
______________
That morning, heading out for the riding party, it was only by chance that I managed to realize I still had the ring on. It both scared and pleased me, that I had already grown accustomed to it. What if I wore it to a dance, and Mel was there? Not even then, if anyone saw it they would question – and then she would know. At this point, I wasn't so sure I wanted it to be kept a secret. In fact, all I really felt like doing was finding Mel, tossing the riding glove I had on to the floor and telling her everything – how I felt, how long I felt it, and the myriad of emotions her letters made me feel – whether or not she ran away and/or punched me in the face was a small detail.
And so not being able to part with it, I wore it anyway, stupid decision or not.
Elenet and I met up with the rest of the riding company (composed of Trishe and her husband, Bran and Nee, Renna, Geral, Tamara, Russav and Lady Arasa Elbanek and her brother, Olervec) at the end of the formal gardens. When we were assured everyone was there, and formal introduction had been done for those who had not yet met Elenet, we started riding, my childhood friend beside me.
The ride was one I took every week, unless otherwise engaged. And every week, although Bran and Nee each came, Mel was non-existent.
Except today.
I was talking to Elenet, when suddenly there was a rustle by our path. As the movement caught the corner of my eye, I glanced up casually. Immediately my breath choked in my throat, and I shock I didn't expect made my heart jolt and my stomach jump. What was she doing here? I mean, please keep her here, but why?
As I glanced around, I realized that she had not accompanied Bran and Nee by their shocked and worries expressions and, (by an impossible chance) missed my gaze, but rather had joined our path somehow. Trishe had a worried expression plastered even on her well taught features, most likely because I was one of their numbers, and although I held affection for her, any conversation I had engaged in with Mel had somehow ended in conflict – with very few exceptions.
"Bran!" Mel exclaimed, "what a surprise to find you out here!"
That made sense, as Bran was almost always late for the outing due to his regular schedule of sleeping. But I didn't understand why she was here. She could have quite honestly been riding by herself – but I had not seen her or heard of her riding at this day and time before.
In a swift motion of events, Trishe had already invited her to join the party, and we were heading out to the picnic spot. But something was still bothering me about Mel's arrival. She knew, I was sure, that I was in the company. She knew when the day was. So wouldn't she have rather avoided yet another conflict?
Well, that was arrogant of me.
Just because I was one person with several others didn't mean she wouldn't want to talk to them. At the same time…it was the pattern before. If she wanted to talk to someone, she probably could have done it without my presence. My hand nervously went to my little finger, where the ring was, trying to figure out what it meant and wondering why I cared what it meant.
Was she there for me?
As we dismounted, I kept gazing at Mel, and odd sort of smile on my face. She had made herself a good save, by putting Trishe at ease; one I don't believe even Flauvic or Tamara could have pulled off. I wasn't sure if everyone or no one but I knew that she probably hadn't come upon us by accident, but I found it funny, in a wry sort of way. I was also smiling because that simple idea that she might have come to make amends with me was still floating around in my head.
Suddenly, and quite unexpectedly, her eyes met mine, and for one second I was thrown into her passion. Still not able to completely wipe the nuances of a smile from my face, I said with only a hint of humour, "I have the honor to introduce you to Lady Elenet Kheraev of Grumareth."
Mel curtsied smiled pleasantly, if shyly at her. To my slight concern, Elenet only gave her a small smile and timid curtsy back. Yes, Elenet was quiet by nature, but she was friendlier than that. Especially with a person I had been singing praises about for months (intentionally or otherwise.) I didn't have time to mull over what had gotten into her, because Trishe had brought out the plates (carefully asking for an extra one for Mel), and it was time to eat.
The conversation over good food was pleasant, but I couldn't help feeling off-guard around Mel, especially when I kept trying to be back on guard. She wandered from each group, and I overheard something of a party, most likely Bran and Nee's.
As I looked around at the group I was seated with, and I looked at Mel's fast approaching steps, I almost visibly winced. Russav, Tamara, Elenet and I. Russav she could deal with, and Tamara…she had greatly proven herself able to deal with (and as a result was quite a topic of conversation for Russav and I, who were at first skeptical at how she would make out at court.). Elenet was a small thing, but connected to me. Therein lay the problem: me. They were all connected to me, and our foursome made us a very uncomfortable entity for Mel.
Of course, I couldn't express these things to her, verbally or otherwise. For one, we were not very good with each other, and two, I was not very good with myself. Normally, I could think brilliantly and debate all I wanted – with myself or with others. In court matters I was efficient, because I was trained.
Well, to put it lightly, I was never trained for Mel. Around the people I had known all my life (and occasionally some I hade never met before), I was sharp-tongued and witty, ready for a laugh…or at least I supposed. At the very least I talked. Around Mel I was mute, excepting the court formalities and recently (fortunately) a few acerbic nuances thanks to the ease her letters transpired. Our past made it simply to hard for me to communicate properly. This was probably the most logical explanation as to why everyone else but the object of my affection knew of my feelings.
Add the confusion of recent events, and all I could get out of my mind was a million words that would not push out of a broken mouth.
Yet, as she walked over, that same smile formed on my face before. The things I had thought previously, just a few seconds ago, seemed premature and silly. She turned to face me first; talking as if we had been friends since the day I appeared, trespassing on her land, trying to intimidate her. "Good morning, how much I wish to thank you for putting me in the way of finding the proper books for my project."
At this I almost laughed at myself. I 'put her in the way of finding books?' Remembering myself stupidly pointing a pen at a shelf, praying she wouldn't guess what I was writing, I didn't think it quite did justice to her appreciation. I took it and ran with it anyway.
Sketching a bow, desperately trying to keep laughter from entering my speech, instead forcing it to stay on the outskirts of my words, I replied, "If you have any further questions, it would be my pleasure to accommodate you."
"I'd be honored." She curtsied, and, her hands doing the job of a hand, made the gesture of Unalloyed Gratitude. The corners of my mouth deepened, feinting off laughter. She was playing with me, and I enjoyed it. It had been a very long time – if a circumstance had ever existed – that I had talked civilly, let alone pleasantly (in person, at least) with Lady Meliara.
Maybe she was here for me.
She turned to Russav, and then to Tamara. As she greeted the latter, Tamara murmured, "You'll be in the race tomorrow?"
"Of course," Mel replied, "I have to prove whether my wins last time were luck, skill – or the kindness of well-wishers."
Tamara smiled a little, a smile I thought could have been genuine, "And once you've proved which it is?"
She smiled, "Why then I either celebrate, commiserate – or fulminate!"
I laughed fully at that, as did everyone else. Elenet even, in her own soft way, showed her approval of the joke, and I was glad she might approve of Mel. She turned to me and asked, "Will you be there?"
"I hope to be," I replied simply, ignoring temptation.
"Riding your gray?"
Alright, once I can stand, but two is enough. I smiled slightly, "Is that a challenge?"
The words brought back the memories of the wager – and the fact that I hadn't collected quite yet, due to the fact I was still trying to rebuild (actually, probably just downright build) our relationship from the ground up. It must have triggered the same sort of memory, for her face turned red faster than she could pretend it wasn't. When she had finished 'retying the ribbon on her skirts', I intensely tried to stop grinning – as did, I noticed, the others in the group, who by now knew all about her debt to me.
"I think," she continued, "I'd better find out if my luck is due to skill or kindness before I make any pledges."
I nodded. "Very well then, a friendly race will suffice."
For now, anyway.
A/N: Okay….stupid ending line. But I just didn't want to end with a quote. Hah, I'm so creative. Again I am SO utterly sorry for not updating this sooner…I was (and still am) working on my other works for the huge update I had planned for today, and this one was the last I did (out of four.) Add school and a bazillion essays I was (supposed to be) doing, and the fact my karate provincial tournament is coming up…and you get a very tired me. Anyway, I'm going to personally thank you and answer questions…because there's been a lot.
Lisel Bean: I'm glad you like the books! So do I, obviously, because it takes a very good book for me to get off my butt and write a real fanfic :P Thanks for the compliment!! I'm so happy you enjoy it!
Faeriegurl: Lol, Vidanric DOES sound hot!!!! Plus he's rich and intelligent :) Ahhhh….my dream guy! ;) I'm thinking of drawing a pic of him…(drawing being another of my pastimes…) but I'll probably butcher it! XD Thanks for adding the story to you faves! :)
Dryad13: Aww…best story in the Sherwood Smith section? Wow, I'm flattered, honestly! Lol, yes VIDANRIC. Not Shevraeth! :)
Gabi: Glad you like it! Ugh…I know it took eons for me to get this one up :( sorry!
Unkown (as in the person didn't sign in! XD): If this is Lydiby…*waves* it just sounds like you! lol, I know I know….I would NEVER stop being lazy and write if people didn't tell me to!
Amberose: Oh, I couldn't STAND not knowing hwat he was thinking! Before this fic, I didn't like doing fanfics…just the thought of portraying someone elses chartacter brought up thoughts of how many ways I could screw up :P but I was *really* intrigued this time! I'm so happy you like it!
Blue eyes: Another claim that it's the best Sherwood Smith fic? Wow…I really am flattered by this. Sorry it took so long…
Nianla: Is that your real name? I want it if it is! (Or if it isn't…) you know what my real name is? Dancy. Well, Kathryn, but, because of a long story, everyone calls me my middle name, which is Dancy. My mom's maiden name. Ugh. (off topic…) glad you like it!
Angelprinczess29: Thank you for you compliments…honestly, when anyone tells me I write well, or my story is good, I walk around with this huge goofy smile on my face. Thank you thank you thank you!
Athena: Thank you thank you!! I'm glad you like it! I love writing it!
Calcifersgrl: I'm glad you like the song! I really love it…it's a very good song…the lyrics do something to me :P (silly me…) Yeah, I KNOW the letters are screwed up…I looked at them after, and I was like 'what…the…' they're italicized in the Word copy…so….I really don't know!
Geniusgirl: Wow. Your review made me feel so special! I love the way you review!! Lol, tons of flattery and reasons to back it up ;) It puts a smile on my face!! I'm glad you see the humour. Who knows if Sherwood meant it that way…but it's just my interpretation! :) thanks again!!!!!
Star-eyed Kal'enedral: Thank you! *kisses your feet* I'm glad you like it!
Nicole: *hangs head in shame* I know I should have updated this earlier. I am SO SORRY. Please forgive me!!!!
Saranha de Angelo: I still love that name!! Lol, yes, jealous was the word he was being about Flauvic :) Glad you like it.
Lydiby: Ah…by far my most enthusiastic reviewer! I love you too!! :) Thanks for badgering me…I sorry this took so long. Sorry sorry sorry sorry. And thank YOU! I hope you liked this chapter.
Meg: Thank you for the compliment!!!! I'm so glad you liked it!
Sparklerain: yes, yes, typos abound in my stories. I'm not very meticulous when it comes to typos. I never read my work over, except spellcheck, but even then, some typos are actual words. Hmmm… 'This Brilliant Dance' ? Cooouuullld be. I've been mistaken before, and since I only have the CD in Mp3 format, I wouldn't be able to tell for sure! XD
Elspeth: I love writing this story, so I'm glad you like it! Writing from Vidanric's perspective gives me so much freedom! (but I probably still screw up!) There's so much work and research to be done, about what he knows and doesn't know about Mel, and what she knows and what he ells her at the end….I'm still desperately trying to figure out where to properly put him researching how Mel's mother died! XD
Lady O Lorien: I love your name too! Thanks for the review…*sniff* sorry for the delay in update :(
Zenin: Thank you for the compliments! I'm glad you like it!!!
Delphine: I like your name!! Thank you thank you thank you!
Kuri: I'm glad you like it so much!! This story is very fun to write :)
MystyAngel: Thank-you for your critique!!! Hmm…a note about the spelling errors: I'm Canadian, so if it's the Canadian spelling, and you're American, there's a chance that that's why. Other than that it's my fault, or spell check didn't pick up on it (I only read my chapters through once, and barely proof-read XD) yes, cowboy-bebop rules!!!! Hehe, anime isn't my favorite thing to watch, but from time to time I do, and that's one of the greatest! Thanks for your review!
One last note: I usually try to review (and follow up) my reviewer's stories. I am still working on that. There's just been such and outpouring of reviews (Nope, I wouldn't DREAM of complaining about it!), and with school, and my extra-curricular responsibilities, I'm behind. I PROMISE I will try my BEST to review your stories. Oh my…I'm having deja-view at this moment. My deja-view's are very detailed…and it's creepy.
Yes I talk too much :P
Anyway, just wanted to let you know that I appreciate greatly everything you guys have done for my ego! :) I don't want to take that for granted. I used to e-mail a thanks to everyone, but with four stories and more idea's coming, I had to stop because I got so behind. I know, I suck. But you rule, and I'm working on it!
P.S.: This little 'one last note' will appear on every story I've updated today…sooo if you read the others, well, I guess you can scroll down to the review box!! XD
AND ANOTHER THING!!
Before I ever posted anything on FF.net, I wrote an ENTIRE novel. 300 some odd pages. It was started in gr.4 and finished in gr. 8. Wow, huh? Obviously, the writing varies from 'just learning' to 'alright'. It's one of the major things that formed the way I write today. I wasn't in any clubs, and no one else read it except my sister and a good friend of mine, Madeline. The book is ripped off from every conceivable thing, and blatantly so. But, in the end result, I think the content is okay. If you DESPERATLEY want to read it, you can e-mail me…but I'm warning you. It's just simply called "Varissa." Oh yeah, creative I know. And nope, I ain't posting it….it's way too embarrassing.
