Disclaimer- I don't own the song "How do I live" by Leanne Rimes or "With or without you" by U2

(1 month later)

Rachel was running around the apartment frantically. She had to drop Emma at school and Maddie at Day Care before going down to the Hospital. She had taken leave until further notice at Ralph Lauren so she could spend her days with Ross.

"Emma, come on" she called into the bedroom.

"I want to go and see Dad today" said Emma, stomping out of her bedroom.

"I know Honey," said Rachel, as she struggled to dress Madelyn who was trying to crawl away. "But you've got to go to school. I promise, straight after school, we'll go and see Daddy ok? Why don't you draw him another picture to decorate his room?"

"I'll draw him another picture of us all. With Maddie crawling this time" said Emma

"He'll love that Sweetie," said Rachel, standing up now her battle with Madelyn was over. She looked adorable in her little Pink and Purple snow outfit. "Are we ready?"

"Uh Huh" said Emma, grabbing her Barbie backpack and coat.

Rachel picked up her bag, a bag with some more PJ's for Ross, Madelyn's bag and last but not least Madelyn herself and they headed out the door.

(Day Care Centre)

Rachel walked through the doors, brushing the snow of herself and Madelyn.

"How are you Rachel?" said one of the staff, Alayna "And how's Little Miss Madelyn today?"

"Fine thanks" said Rachel

"How's Ross?" asked Alayna

"Hasn't changed" said Rachel "I'm headed over there now"

"I'm so sorry," said Alayna "We're all thinking of you and praying for Ross"

"Thankyou" said Rachel "That means a lot"

"Well we're going to have a fun day today" said Alayna, putting her arms out for Madelyn. "We're going to try some finger painting"

Rachel thought to herself that Madelyn was a little young for finger- painting but didn't say anything "Sounds like Fun"

Rachel gave Madelyn a kiss on the head "Mommy will see you soon Baby"

Madelyn started to wail immediately. She had developed a separation anxiety and didn't like to be apart from Rachel.

"Good old Separation Anxiety" said Alayna

"You know what" said Rachel "I don't feel like being apart from her today either. I'll just take her with me"

"Are you sure?" asked Alayna "She's normally fine as soon as you leave"

"No, It's fine," said Rachel, taking her back into her arms where she stopped crying straight away "We'll go visit Daddy together"

"OK then. We'll see you tomorrow Madelyn?" said Alayna.

"Hopefully" said Rachel, picking up Madelyn's back and heading for the door

(Hospital)

Rachel walked into Ross's room, pushing Madelyn, who had nodded off in the cab, in her stroller.

Ross had been moved into a private room after suffering some complications a few days ago, which led the doctors to connect him up to a Heart Monitor Machine as a precaution He was still in a coma and Rachel hadn't been fully informed of what exactly led the doctors to hook him up to the Heart Monitor.

Rachel couldn't believe that he still hadn't woken up. He had missed out on so much over the past month, Maddie started crawling a few days ago and it was Monica's birthday last week. Those little things that mean so much to him.

The machine bleeped in the background, Rachel tried to block out the sounds.

She set her bags down on a side table and sat down next to his bed, She reached out and touched his forehead.

"Hi Honey," she said, "Maddie's come for a visit today. She didn't feel like going to Day Care"

Dr Raymond entering the room interrupted her, "How are you today Rachel?"

"I'm ok, Coping I guess" replied Rachel "Any changes since last night?"

"Not really.I'm sorry," said Dr Raymond

"It's ok," replied Rachel "I don't think I was expecting anything different. Can you explain to me now exactly why Ross is hooked up to this Heart Monitor?""

"No problems, Now as you know, the injuries to Ross's head were very severe, His brain has been knocked about and there could be some permanent damage there, if he were to wake up. He is still in a Coma but after we got the results back from those tests we performed last week, they revealed that his heart is also under some stress, That is the reason that we've connected him up to the Heart machine, should his heart suddenly fail, We will be there in time to do something about it"

"Oh God" said Rachel "Do you think that will happen?"

"We're just taking it day by day at the moment Rachel" said Dr Raymond "It's impossible to predict what might happen"

"Ok" said Rachel.

She looked at Ross's still form and she felt herself begin to choke up so she began to take deep breaths "This is a nightmare, an absolute nightmare"

"I know how hard d this must be for you but I've also got something else I need to ask you" said Dr Raymond

"Yes?" Asked Rachel

"Did Ross ever talk about being an organ donor?"

"I don't think so. Why?" asked Rachel

"Well in the event of Ross's heart failing, if he weren't to survive and was on the organ donor list, then we would want to know as soon as possible so we could determine whether his healthy organs can be donated to someone in need" said Dr Raymond.

"Well there's no need to worry about that because that event isn't going to happen," said Rachel "Ross isn't going to die"

"Rachel, Do you understand how his body has been traumatised?" asked Dr Raymond "Ross suffered a major blow to his head and his heart is under an enormous amount of stress"

"I understand" said Rachel, beginning to get angry "But I don't need you in here telling me these things. It's hard enough for me to accept that he is actually in here; I don't want to know of the possibility that he won't make it. Right now all I want to focus on, is him getting out of here and coming home to me and our children"

"I'm sorry Rachel but I think you have the right to know all the possibilities," said Dr Raymond "Could I also suggest that you make an appointment with one of our Counsellors on Level 8? I know this must be very stressful for you, plus having to cope with two young children. It might be good if you talked to someone besides myself or the nurses"

"I do not need a Counsellor, I have plenty of people that I can talk too" said Rachel "Thankyou for your concern but I'm fine"

"Ok, but if you change your mind, you know where I am and I will set up an appointment for you" said Dr Raymond before exiting the room.

Now with some privacy, Rachel began to talk to Ross.

"Ross, I miss you so much," said "I know that all we ever do is fight but I promise to you, that when you wake up and we go home, it's all going to change. I'm willing to do anything to make this work Ross, Marriage counselling, anything. I never meant what I said about leaving you, I was so angry when I said it but I would never do that because the fact of the matter is that I could never do that to you or myself. I love you too much to ever leave"

She began to cry softly "I just need to hear your voice again, I need to have your reassurance that you know how much I love you. Emma misses you so much, She wanted to come and see you today but I made her go to school, which might have been wrong of me. She's been drawing you so many pictures, of the family and Monica and everyone else. She's been putting them up around your room so you'll see them as soon as you open your eyes. Madelyn's missing her daddy too, You would never believe what she did on Wednesday, Emma and I were sitting on the floor playing with her and Emma rolled the ball over towards the kitchen and Madelyn pulled herself up onto her hands and knees and crawled over to the ball. I was so excited when she did it but a grey cloud came over when I remembered that you weren't there to see it"

Rachel noticed a CD player sitting on one of the side tables. She wondered what an earth they would have a CD player in here for, but leant over and switched it on anyways. It was set to a Radio station.

"We're expecting 4 mm of snow tonight in New York City and possibly more tomorrow, It's looking very dark outside so remember if you're driving, have your lights on" said the Announcer on the Radio.

(We hear background Music: How do I live by Leanne Rimes)

How do I get through the night without you

If I had to live without you

What kinda life would that be

Oh I need you in my arms, need you to hold

You are my world, my heart, my soul

If you ever leave

baby you would take away

everything good in my life

and tell me now

How do I live without you?

I want to know

How do I breathe without you?

If you ever go

How do I ever, ever survive

How do I, how do I, oh how do I live

Without you

There would be no sun in my sky

there would be no love in my life

there'd be no world left for me

And I, baby, I don't know what I would do

I'd be lost if I lost you

If you ever leave

baby you would take away

everything real in my life

and tell me

How do I live without you

I want to know

How do I breathe without you

If you ever go

How do I ever, ever survive

How do I, how do I, oh how do I live

Please tell me baby how do I go on

If you ever leave

baby you would take away everything

need you with me

baby don't you know that you are

everything good in my life

And tell me now

How do I live without you

I want to know

How do I breathe without you

if you ever go

how do I ever, ever survive

how do I, how do I, oh how do I live

How do I live without you?

How do I live without you, baby?

How do I live without you?

Rachel sighed and walked over to the window, She pulled the blinds to one side and looked out over Manhattan. It was an extremely grey and dull day, there were huge clouds in the sky and it looked as if it would pour at any moment.

"And now here's a song that means something. U2's With or Without You" came over the Radio.

See the stone set in your eyes

See the thorn twist in your side

I wait for you

Sleight of hand and twist of fate

On a bed of nails she makes me wait

And I wait without you

With or without you

With or without you

Through the storm we reach the shore

You give it all but I want more

And I'm waiting for you

With or without you

With or without you

I can't live

With or without you

And you give yourself away

And you give yourself away

And you give

And you give

And you give yourself away

My hands are tied

My body bruised, she's got me with

Nothing to win and

Nothing left to lose

And you give yourself away

And you give yourself away

And you give

And you give

And you give yourself away

With or without you

With or without you

I can't live

With or without you

With or without you

With or without you

I can't live

With or without you

With or without you

Rachel smiled as she heard the song. "With or without You" was her and Ross's chosen song, it reminded her of the obstacles they overcame before they first began a relationship. He dedicated it to her over the Radio after he made a huge mistake and it took her many months to forgive him but eventually she did.

Rachel looked over at Madelyn and saw she was sitting up awake in her stroller so she lifted her out and sat her on the bed next to Ross. Madelyn reached out and patted her Dad on the face.

"Say Hi to Dad, Maddie," said Rachel "Can you say Dada?"

"Buh" said Madelyn with a giggle.

"She tried Ross," said Rachel, with a laugh "I'm going to go down to the Cafeteria to get a cup of coffee so I'll be back very soon"

She stood up and picked Madelyn up of the bed, to put her in the stroller.

As she turned away, she failed to notice the tiny bit of movement in Ross's left hand. His fingers were moving slightly. It was barely noticeable.

"Be back soon Honey" she said before she left, leaning and kissing him gently on the forehead.

AN: TBC This chapter's probably pretty crap coz I kinda lost inspiration for the story but I'm trying ( It will be continued soon