Summary: This is written in first person, as a patient! Disclaimer: I don't own ER or any of the ER characters, but I do own my character Nikki and I'll sue you if u steal her!

-- I've been sat here for ages, its really busy. As it gets near my turn to be seen big accidents keep coming in. This nurse, Abby her badge said, keeps saying it wont be long. Im here alone, I don't have anyone to come with me, it was my mom who did this to me. I cant let anyone know the truth about who did this to me or how much it hurts emotionally aswell as physically. No normal mother would do something like this, she's crazy! I hate living with her sometimes, I wish my dad would come and get me, he left because she's crazy, why didn't he take me? That nurse, Abby, she's coming over here now, reading a clipboard.

"Hi Nikki, do you wanna come with me." She says, I smile and follow her into a room with a few beds in it. She peels the bandage I put on myself off, I suck air in through my teeth at the sudden pain.

"Sorry," She says

"Its okay," I say quietly

"You here on your own?" she asks, I nod "How did you do this?" Abby asked me as she started to clean the wound

"Erm.. I-I just.." I stuttered

"Did someone do this to you?" She says noticing my sudden 'loss of memory'

"No! I fell..down the stairs and landed on.. something." I said trying to sound as genuine as possible. She didn't reply I don't think she believes me.

"I just need to go and get something, I'll be right back," she said as she took off her gloves. I bet she's going to get someone like social services and they will take me away, I panic, grab my coat and make a run for the door, nearly knocking Abby over as she comes back in with a kidney dish and stuff in her hands.

"Where are you going?" She asks calmly

"I.. I have to go home." I say trying to push past her she puts her arm out in front of me

"You need stitches in your arm Nikki. Sit down." She says pointing over to the bed, I do as she says. "Is there anything you want to tell me," she says as she puts on new gloves, I shake my head, my eyes filling up with tears.

"You wouldn't understand." I say as a tear rolls down my cheek

"Try me," she says as she pick out shards of glass from the gash on my arm. I pause, I'm thinking what she might do if I tell her. She'll get people to take me away, I don't mind staying at home its just when mom doesn't take her pills..

"Its.. its my Mom, she's.. ill." I say tears flowing as my voice starts to crack.

"Ill?" Abby asks

"Yea, she bi-polar. She has to take these pills and stuff then she wont be ill, but she's always throws them away and then.. then she hits me for losing them." As I say this Abby sits next to me and puts her arm around me. Now I cant stop crying, all these tears have been building up for along time. But there was no-one to talk to. No-one I could trust. I don't know if I can trust Abby but I just cant hold it in any longer. Abby doesn't say anything for a while, I look at her. She's thinking, I wonder if she's going to tell the police or something. I can't leave Ben if they take me away.

"Abby?" I say quietly, she looks at me. "You're not gonna tell anyone are you?"

"No. Not if you don't want me to." She smiled as she got of the bed and went back to suturing my arm.

"Thanks"

We stay silent for a while until a doctor comes in the room,

"Abby?" He says

"Hey John," she says as she turns round. She looks a lot happier now he's here. I think they're dating.

"What time you off?" he asks

"In half an hour, I just need to finish off here and check something on the computer." She smiled

"Okay," he said, he winked at me as he left the room.

"Is he your boyfriend," I ask suddenly getting confidence to speak above a whisper

"How did you know?" she said giving a small laugh

"I could tell. You were happy to see him," I say "I cant imagine taking a boy round to meet my mom," I say as im reminded of my horrible life at home.

"Do you want me to get help for your mom?" Abby says quickly and sincerely

"Help ?"

"To keep her on her meds or something?" she says finishing the stitches with a knot. I shrug my shoulders,

"I know what its like, my mom was.. is bi-polar, I know how difficult it is and how much you want someone to help you." She said she looks sad again, I feel guilty for upsetting her.

"Sorry" I whisper

"What for?" she asks frowning

"Making you sad,"

"Hey its ok, you haven't made me sad. I just wish someone could have helped me when I was your age." She smiles again, "Come on," she says, I get off the bed and follow her out of the room, we go into a room labelled 'Doctors Lounge' She opened the door and walked in holding the door open, I wasn't sure if I should go in or not,

"Come in," Abby says. That doctor, John is in here. He's sleeping on the couch, Abby smiles as she notices him. She gets her purse out of her locker and kisses John's head before opening the door for me to go out of. As we pass this desk she shouts to this blonde doctor,

"Susan, if John's looking for me im in docs."

"Okay" she shouts back, when she sees me she look puzzled.

We walk out of the ambulance bay and across the street to this diner. Inside its warm and smells like coffee. She sits down in a booth so I sit on the other side of the table.

"You hungry?" she asks, I shake my head. "You want something to drink,"

"Yes please." I say shyly

"Coffee? Soda? Shake?!" she offers

"Soda please,"

Abby looks around for a waitress, one comes up to get our order.

"Two sodas please." Abby says the waitress nods and walks away

"Do you have any brothers of sisters?" she asks

"I have two brothers. Ben is 5 he lives with us but my older brother, he moved away as soon as he could. He didn't like any of us." I say looking down

"I have a little brother, Eric. Pains aren't they!" she says smiling

"Yea!" I laugh. It feels good to laugh after all those tears. "but I think I would be bored without him around."

"Eric used to get scared if our mom disappeared in the night,"

"My mom does that," I start as the waitress come over with our sodas. "Thanks,"

"How often?" Abby asked interested to compare her mom to mine

"A few times a week, she always drinks too. She had been drinking before she did this to me," I say pointing at my arm

"Yea, what happened there?" Abby asked taking a sip of her soda

"She had been drinking and was about to open a bottle of beer, I told her she had had enough but she just got mad and knocked the bottle off the table, it smashed so she hit me with it." I say as my eyes look at Abby then the table.

"Has she ever hurt you before?" Abby asked

"She hits us all the time, but she has tried to stab me before." I say, my lip starts shaking as I remember the feeling of fear I felt that night. "She never does these things if she takes her pills though." I say stirring my soda with the straw.

"My mom was the same, she would be great if she just kept taking her medication."

"I don't get it, why wont she keep taking it?" I ask hoping she knows so maybe I can change things.

"I really don't know!" Abby says. I notice her smile as she looks past me, I turn around and see John. He starts walking over to the table, when he reaches us her sits next to Abby kissing her briefly.

"Hi," he says to me

"Hey." I say

"John this is Nikki." Abby introduces, he smiles at me.

"Hi Nikki, what you guys talking about?" he asks

"Nothing much." Abby says quickly, she has kept her promise not to tell anyone. "Where do you live Nikki we can drop you off on the way home." John says

"You know 3rd street? The end block of apartments on there." I say

"Okay," He says, as he stands up followed by Abby so I stand up too.

"To the Carter-mobile," he says, Abby rolls her eyes behind him, that makes me laugh.

--------- The next day ---------

I'm on my way back to the ER, I left my coat yesterday. Plus, mom hadn't taken her meds this morning and was upsetting Ben so I brought him with me. I walked into the ER pulling Ben by his hand. Its a lot quieter than yesterday.

"What are we here for Nik?" Ben asked me as I pick him up and put him on my hip

"I told you, I'm looking for my friend, Abby."

"Who is she?" I ignore he question as I go up to the man sat at the desk.

"Hi, is Abby here?" I ask quietly

"Yea somewhere.." he said looking around, "Hey Susan have you seen Abby?"

"Yea she's in the lounge, I'll just get her," she says after she spots me stood by the desk. She disappears and comes back with Abby in her tracks. She sees me and smiles.

"Hi Nikki, you okay?" she say worried

"Yes im fine,"

"You must be Ben," she says stroking his hair, he gave a huge smile and wriggled so I would put him down.

"I left my coat yesterday." I say

"Okay, lets go look for it." Abby says, we start walking to the suture room and Ben runs ahead.

"Ben!" I shout after him, he keeps running, I start to run after him when a gurney comes round the corner and knocks him flat. I run up to him, he's lay on the floor, he opens his eyes and starts to cry holding his head. I see Abby beside him. She scoops him up in her arms and carries him to the nearest room. She checks him over and says he's fine. He falls asleep on the bed.

"Notice how he doesn't cry for his Mom," I say sadly, stroking his hair.

We leave him in the room for a moment to go and find my coat. We go into the suture room and its folded up on the side, I get it and rush back to the room. I hate leaving Ben alone for long.

"Do you want me to call your mom to tell her what happened?" Abby says, I just give her a look to say 'as if!'.

Abby leaves me and Ben in this room while she goes to do some work. Im bored, I wonder what Abby is doing. I'd like to be a nurse, I don't know if I'd be able to, I have to luck after Ben and Mom. I always have to skip school to look after them two. I think I could do so much better at school if mom wasn't ill.

After a while Ben wakes up he sits up,

"Can I have a drink?"

"What do you say, Ben?" I say, someone has to teach him manners

"Please," he said tiredly.

"Sure, lets go get one." I say as I pick him up.

I walk out of the door, I look around for a drinks machine, then I see Abby.

"Abby?" I say

"Hey, how you feeling Ben?" she asks

"Okay Abby." He says

"Where's the drinks machine?" I ask