Chapter Eleven

Francie watched Sydney race around the apartment, gathering random things that she wasn't even sure her friend really needed. A pen, a rubber band, even a small box of matches were clutched in Sydney's hand as she ran back to her room.

"How many times have you gone out with Michael?" she called out.

"Three times," Sydney answered distractedly.

"Then how come you're still running around here like a chicken with her head cut off?"

"I don't know!"

Francie laughed amusedly. "He's THAT good, is he?"

"I haven't slept with him, Francie."

"But you want to."

Sydney's silence was answer enough.

"Atta girl, Syd!!" Francie exclaimed, jumping to her feet.

The doorbell rang and Francie beat Sydney to the door. She hadn't met Michael yet and she was curious to meet the guy that was making her friend run around in circles. When she got her first look at him, she understood immediately why Sydney was in such a state.

"Hi," she said, holding out a hand and smiling so hard her cheeks started to hurt. "I'm Francie."

"Hi, Francie," Vaughn said, smiling back. "I'm Mike."

She stepped aside and he walked past her into the house. Checking him out quickly before he turned around, Francie decided she liked what she saw. Dressed casually in jeans and a navy blue sweater, he looked fabulous and she could only imagine how he looked in a suit--or, she thought devilishly, less than that.

"I'm glad that I finally got to meet you," she said. "I wanted to meet the man who could make Sydney freak out like she is."

"I am not freaking out!" Sydney protested, coming out of her room.

Vaughn reached out for her and pressed a chaste kiss to her temple. The smile on Sydney's face was small, but Francie could see the glow in her soft brown eyes. One hand came up to rest gingerly on Vaughn's chest as he hugged her to his side. Francie's heart warmed at the sight--Sydney was happy.

Then to her surprise, Sydney stepped out of Mike's embrace, her expression shuttering. She bent to pick up her purse, but Francie could see something was wrong. Fortunately, Mike didn't appear to think anything was amiss. When Sydney straightened, he took her hand in his, but Francie could see Sydney was starting to mentally pull away from him. She chalked it up to wariness, considering what had happened with Danny, and she hoped Sydney would be able to work past it in order to stay with this man. Although, Francie hadn't known him for more than five minutes, he looked like the good sort. There was something in his face that appealed to her, and it wasn't just because he was good-looking.

"So what are you going to be doing tonight?" she asked.

"Dinner and a movie," Sydney said.

"Nice. Have a good time!"

"We will."

"It was nice meeting you, Francie," Mike said as Sydney opened the door. "We should all go out to dinner sometime."

"I would like that. See you later, Syd."

The couple left and Francie went back to the book she was reading. It took her a while to get back into the story for her mind was on what she'd seen that day. She made a mental note to have a talk with Sydney about opening up to Mike. She deserved happiness, but Francie was afraid she would keep herself from it because of a need to protect herself from more hurt. God knew she'd had enough of that.

* * *

Sydney wanted nothing more than to take the butter knife in Vaughn's hand and jab it into her eye just to be able to get out of there. The past two times they'd gone out, she'd been keeping her distance from him, not even kissing him on the lips. When he'd kissed her that afternoon in front of Francie, chaste as it was, she'd felt it as powerfully as that first brief kiss they'd shared after the disaster at the pub. If a small little peck made her react like that, she was afraid of what might happen if they really kissed. Kissed the way she knew he wanted to every time they parted for the night. She saw the confusion on his face when she merely said good night, but gentleman that he was, he didn't say a word about it. However, she didn't know how much longer she could keep this up.

That problem aside, she was having a great time dating Vaughn. There were moments when she forgot that this was part of the web of lies that made up her life, and she simply enjoyed being with him. They spent the time talking, sharing experiences. His memory was coming back in fits and spurts, and he told her what he remembered. She shared memories of her childhood--the happier ones.

The movie they saw was a romantic comedy and Vaughn took advantage of their close quarters to hold her hand. He didn't let go until they went back to the car. Sydney felt the tension mounting and she knew there was no way she could avoid the inevitable at this point, so she spent the drive back to her home by preparing herself. When Vaughn turned the car off and turned towards her, she thought she was ready. Her breath came out in tiny puffs as he tilted her chin towards him, and she was sure he would kiss her now, but then he frowned and leaned away from her.

"I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want to, Syd," he said, not able to keep the hurt from his voice.

"It's not you, Vaughn." She'd reverted back to calling him that, saying that she liked its sound for the benefit of anyone listening.

"Yeah." He clearly didn't believe her.

"I'm sorry," she said, on the edge of tears. "Thank you for tonight."

Then, Sydney did the hardest thing she ever had to do.

She got out of the car.

Nearly running to the door, she searched her purse for her keys. When he came up behind her she had them in her grasp. With a steady hand, he put the key in the lock for her. She didn't turn around and he put his arms around her from behind, making her lean back against him.

"I can wait, Syd," he whispered, his lips brushing her ear. "I'll wait for you."

His words surprised and saddened her. She put her hands over his and held them tightly, making her decision.

"Would you like to come in?"

She could feel his body tense and he let go of her. Turning her around to face him, she saw that a sad smile was on his face.

"Not tonight," he said, caressing her cheek with a gentle hand. "Sleep well."

Frozen to the spot, she watched him drive away. Any other man, he would have been inside with her now, but now Vaughn. He was too honorable, too kind, and he cared about her too much. His rejection didn't hurt her, but it did touch her, and she realized then the extent of her love for him. She loved him and that made things hard. She wished she had never picked him up that night, wished she'd had the strength to keep her distance.

She turned, her heart heavy, and put her key in the lock when a set of footprints drew her attention. At first, her defenses came up, but then she recognized who they belonged to.

"Dad," she said. "What are you doing here?"

"Just checking up on you. Did you have a good time tonight?"

"Yes. He's good company."

Even in the dim light of the street lamps, Jack could see the tears on her cheeks. "Why the tears?"

Her eyes were shooting warning at him, but he merely raised his hand, showing her the signal jammer disguised as a pen. Her eyes looked beyond him to the street and she saw that it was clear of any cars.

"We're safe," he assured her.

"Would you like to come in?"

"No. It's late. Would you like to have breakfast tomorrow?"

She managed a smile. "Sara's Deli?"

"Yes. I'll meet you there."

"Sure, Dad. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Sydney."

He walked off and she finally got into her house. Sighing, Sydney swiped at her cheeks and went to her room. She felt like she'd just gotten back from a particularly harrowing mission and to have it just be a date with Vaughn spoke volumes. Ending it would be the wise thing to do, and she could easily blame it on not being over Danny should anyone ask, but the thought of doing that made her stomach churn. Angrily tossing her purse in one corner, Sydney sat on the edge of her bed and covered her face with her hands.

* * *

"Things are weird," Vaughn said hesitantly, turning his coffee cup around and around on the table. "There are times when I'm sure she's shutting me out, distancing herself. I don't understand it."

Weiss was sympathetic. Vaughn looked as hangdog as he usually did with all things Sydney. Some things never changed.

"Sydney is a complex woman," Weiss said, waving his spoon in the air. "You know, before the whole memory loss thing, you were in the same boat you're in now. I guess it was wishful thinking of my part that you'd be able to shake her."

"From the second time I first laid eyes on her, I knew there was something between us. I didn't remember things that we've done together, but I remembered feelings I had for her. There are some things you can't forget, Eric."

"I noticed that. Think about it though, is she worth it? You've gone out four times and you haven't even gotten to first base!"

"It's not all physical," Vaughn said, a reluctant smile on his face.

"You're telling me that doesn't bother you?" Weiss raised an eyebrow.

"Hell, no. It bothers me so much that I haven't been able to get a good night's sleep since last week. It's just part of the problem. Do these pants make me look fat? Is that why she doesn't like me?"

Weiss let out a guffaw and Vaughn covered his smile by taking a sip of coffee.

"All joking aside," he continued, "Is there something about Sydney I should know about? A reason why she's fighting this thing with me."

His friend didn't say anything, the gaiety in his eyes fading.

"Tell me."

"A couple years ago, Sydney was engaged to a guy named Daniel Hecht."

Not taking his eyes off Vaughn's face, Weiss could see him trying to make a connection.

"That name sounds familiar..." His eyes stared sightlessly at his coffee cup for a few seconds, and then his face paled. "He died, didn't he? It had something to do with work..."

"Yeah, he died. He was killed."

"He wasn't in the CIA." Vaughn was talking more to himself than to his companion. "He died because of Sydney, because she's in the CIA."

"Let's go for a walk," Weiss said, leaving a ten on the table.

They went out into the clear Fall night and Weiss buttoned up his light coat. It was starting to get chilly, though it wouldn't get that much colder.

"What's the story?" Vaughn demanded. "Barnett's keeping her mouth shut about the details of my work, and now that I think about it, so are you. Syd and I just talk about normal day-to-day things. She told me, no work talk while we're out. I think I understand why. It wasn't because she wanted to have fun..."

"Don't be angry with her," Weiss said, though he wasn't quite sure why he was standing up for Sydney. "I mean, I'm sure part of the reason was because she wanted to get to know the civilian Michael Vaughn better, not hang out with CIA Officer Vaughn some more. But she also has to protect you from yourself. You're right, there's a lot more to you, to me, and to Sydney than meets the eye, but we can't suddenly lay it all out at your feet."

"I've heard that already," Vaughn said impatiently. "Is there anything about Sydney, or anything about my relationship with Sydney that I should know about?"

"What do you remember?"

Vaughn's forehead crinkled as he thought. "I remember meeting her in, well, it looks like a small clinic or something. Also, in this big, dark room full of crates and boxes...a warehouse, maybe? What conversations I've remembered involve my..my father and some guy named Rimbaldi. My father isn't Rimbaldi, is he?"

The absurdity of the question would have made Weiss laugh if the situation was any different. "No. Rimbaldi is the name of a prophet. What do you know of your father?"

A flash of anger with a touch of sadness flickered in Vaughn's eyes. "He was killed in the line of duty. Killed by a KGB agent."

"Did your mother tell you this or did you know?"

"I knew."

Weiss decided Vaughn had to know. "Sydney's mother..."

"She killed him," Vaughn interrupted, shocked, his words coming out in a rush. "She murdered my father. I remember telling Sydney and...comforting her. We thought it was her father at first, but then he told us it was her mother. Her mother...her mother is the reason I lost my memory."

"Yes."

Vaughn had to stop walking as a wave of dizziness hit him. Images of rushing water and Sydney's face as seen through a small window ran through his mind. He sat down on a bench and buried his face in his hands.

"My life is a soap opera," he said, trying for levity, but failing miserably.

"Yeah, it is." Weiss sat next to him. "You still want to date her?"

He didn't even hesitate. "Yes, I do. It wasn't her fault."

Weiss sighed. "You're too much of a soft touch, Mike."

"I know. And I think it'll probably get me killed someday."

"I'm not going to argue with you there. It almost did."

Vaughn glanced sideways at Weiss. "I did a lot for her, didn't I?"

"Yeah, you did."

"Made life hard for you, didn't it?"

"Yeah, it did."

"Well, Eric, I don't think anything's going to change."

Despite himself, Weiss laughed. "Yeah, I don't think so either."

They lapsed into a comfortable silence.

"I told her I would wait until she's ready," Vaughn said quietly.

"You're a good man, Mike," Weiss said, his tone almost apologetic. "I just hope you know what you're doing."

Lips thinned worriedly, Vaughn clasped his hands together. "Me, too."