Chapter Twenty

Sydney woke to the sight of Vaughn sitting on the edge of the bed, hunched over. He had one hand on the back of his neck and the other hung limply between his knees. She watched as he took a deep, shuddering breath, his head bowed with his anguish.

"Vaughn," she said, moving to him and putting an arm around his shoulders. "Let it out."

He turned and took her in his arms, burying his face in her shoulder. She could feel the wetness of his tears through her shirt, and had to fight her own. She held him tightly, willing him to let her shoulder some of the burden for his pain was her own.

"All these years," he murmured. "All these years and I thought my dad was an innocent victim. I thought he was an honorable man who died in the line of duty. If my mother finds out about this, it'll kill her."

"It was a different time, different circumstances."

"Yes, but at least then you could pick your sides and know exactly where you stood. He picked the wrong side. I've wasted all these years grieving for him and I don't know what to think anymore. I grew up wishing that he was around to do all those things that fathers were supposed to do: teach me to drive, see me off on my first date, and teach me how to shave. Finding his murderer was one of the reasons I joined the CIA; the other was because I wanted to be like him. Now the last thing I want to be is like him."

Sydney took his face in her hands and pressed a kiss to his forehead. She wiped the tears from his cheeks and looked deep into his eyes, those sea green eyes that she'd dreamed about for so long. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers, his arms tightening around her.

Desire flared between them. She pulled him down on the bed, her hands tangled in his hair as his hands traveled along the length of her body. His lips found their way to the tender spot right underneath her ear and she sighed, arching her body against his. He found the bottom of her shirt and yanked it over her head. Their mouths met, hungrily devouring each other, a sense of desperation in the kiss. Sydney knew Vaughn was trying to ease his grief by losing himself in her and she wanted to give him all she had.

When his hands found their way to her bared breasts, she moaned, closing her eyes and losing herself in his caresses. She wound her legs tightly around his waist, feeling his desire and wanting it. She flipped their positions, and straddled his waist. Her hair fell around them when she bowed her head to kiss him and he crushed her to him, every inch of their bodies touching. She broke their kiss long enough to pull his shirt over his head and discard his pants. He sat up and pushed her back down, reversing their positions yet again, taking her pants off in one sweeping movement. With infinite gentleness, he began to enter her as her hands clutched at his shoulders, her head tossed back. He kissed the long column of her neck, feeling her sigh when they were joined.

They moved slowly at first then with growing urgency. Sweat glistened on them both as they rolled about on the bed, pillows and sheets falling to the ground. Finally, Sydney shuddered around him, her moans nearly turning into a slow scream as she let herself go. He followed her soon after, his eyes closed as he released an explosive sigh.

She collapsed in his arms, not sure how they got to the foot of the bed, but satisfied nevertheless. She waited until his breathing slowed before getting up on one elbow so she could look down on his face. His eyes were narrow slits as he looked up at her, and he reached up to put a hand behind her head, his fingers sliding through her silky hair. They stared at each other for a moment, brown eyes and green saying things that they couldn't, not wanting to break the silence. Sydney pressed a gentle kiss to his temple and lay back down.

A tap at the door made them both shoot up from the bed. Mindless of her nudity, Sydney grabbed her weapon from the nightstand as Vaughn dug around his clothes in search of his holstered gun.

"Who is it?" Sydney demanded.

"It's me," Irina's voice came muffled from the other side of the closed door. "Come out. There are things that have happened."

The two lovers exchanged worried looks. They threw on their clothes, not bothering to smooth any ruffled edges, and came out. Irina only arched an eyebrow at their appearance, and quickly got down to business.

"The Credit Dauphine building self-destructed last night," she said.

Sydney's hand flew to her mouth, her eyes wide. "Was there anybody there?"

"A CIA team sent in by your father and Agent Eric Weiss."

"They weren't part of the team, were they?" Vaughn asked, a sense of dread settling over him.

"No. They tried to infiltrate SD-6 with the information they received before the aborted takeover by McKenas Cole, which was stupid, but I can only assume that time was a factor in the decision."

"What's going on now?" Sydney questioned, brow furrowed.

"Those who used to work for SD-6 have been put on suspension until further notice. You'll be interested to note that your partner Dixon has been seen in the presence of your father."

"Did you tell Dad that we were here?"

Irina's face shuttered. "Yes, I did. But knowing him, he'll still try to find you."

"Of course."

"Sloane has disappeared."

Both Sydney and Vaughn straightened.

"What do you mean disappeared?" Vaughn said. "A man like Arvin Sloane can't just disappear. From the information you've given us, we know that you have contacts where you're not supposed to have any. He can't hide from you."

"That's what I thought, but disappear he has. Even his colleagues in the Alliance do not know where he has gone. They're on full alert until he reappears."

"Why would he disappear?" Sydney thought aloud.

"Ever since Emily's death, he's been chafing at the bit, if you will. The Alliance's order to kill her was hard to swallow and he did it because he's wanted to be part of the inner circle, but after he did it."

"Wait.are you telling me, he killed Emily?"

"You didn't know?"

Sydney was horrified and disgusted, but not surprised that Sloane was capable of such ruthlessness.

"Go on," Vaughn cajoled.

"He couldn't stomach the act. Unbeknownst to his superiors, he put together a team of people to make his exit strategy easier-and more lucrative. I believe he's trying to get another SD-6 off the ground, though without its Alliance affiliation. Arvin never could handle authority and I'm sure his dream is to be his own boss. He's out there now, putting this together."

"I should have killed him when I had the chance," Sydney muttered.

"You never would have gotten close enough," Irina said.

"What does that mean for us?" Vaughn said pensively.

"He's still hunting for you, Sydney. More for sport and training for his new people than anything else."

"Why can't he just leave me alone?" Sydney exploded. "I've been doing his bidding for too long and I want to be set free!"

"It's never that easy," Irina said without sympathy.

"We have to keep running then," Vaughn said flatly. "What about my mother?"

"She's safe."

"Is she alive?"

"That's a little insulting. Of course she is. And she will remain safe for the rest of her days."

"I'd like to see her again."

"And risk her life?"

Vaughn pressed his lips tightly together, a muscle in his jaw working. Sydney put a hand on his shoulder.

"We can't stay here. We have to keep moving," she said.

"And where would you move to? This is the safest place you can be."

"He'll find us. It's not everyday someone orders a bunker to be built in the middle of Siberia and no matter how careful you were, he'll find it. Just like you found out all you did about him."

Irina considered her words. "Fine. But at least stay here until you can get yourselves ready to travel."

"Can you get us identification papers and passports?" Sydney asked.

"Yes."

"Clothes and money," Vaughn put in.

"An endless supply," Irina said with a small smile and she stood. "I'll be back in a few days. Rest up. You'll be busy for a long time."

She went up the stairs and out the door, letting a blast of cold air in. Sydney barely felt it. She imagined years of running around the world, hiding, and always watching her back. It was her worst nightmare. She could only imagine how it was for Vaughn. He'd been living a happy, quiet life before she had come screaming into it. Regret, guilt fought for control of her mind and she sat back on the couch.

"Well, I've always wanted to see the world," Vaughn said with that same flat tone that made Sydney's gut tighten with fear.

"I can't believe it went this far," she said.

"We'll make it through this."

"Did anyone ever tell you that you were a hopeless optimist?"

"No, but one of us has to be."

Sighing, Sydney stood. As much as she wanted to have him by her side, it was getting past the point of fairness. He didn't deserve this. He deserved a house with a white picket fence, a beautiful wife and cute kids. Not spending nights in cheap hotels or waking up at the slightest bit of noise or constantly watching his back. She couldn't do it to him and she loved him enough to let him go. She turned to him but before she opened her mouth, he grabbed her hand and pulled her down onto his lap.

"I'm sick of fighting with you, Syd," he murmured in her ear. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Do you understand what you're saying? There's no turning back now, Vaughn."

"I would rather run away with you than spend the rest of my life wondering where you are and if you're still alive. Seeing your face everyday, no matter where we are, be it the middle of the desert or Tokyo, would be more humane. This is it, you and me. I can't picture my life without you."

Sydney didn't know what she did to deserve him, but she let out a grateful sob and buried her face in his neck. She wished she could believe that he'd feel this way for the rest of their lives, but she couldn't. The last thing she wanted was for him to wake up one morning full of regret that he'd gone along for the ride. That would be harder than letting him go.at least, that's what she let herself think. She pressed a kiss to his cool skin and breathed in his scent, not wanting to ever forget it.

"Thank you," she said shakily, knowing what she was going to have to do.for him. "Thank you."

He rubbed her back and smiled wanly. "You're welcome.