Title: The Sides of Fear (23/?)
Author: Azeroth
Author E-mail: mrlindberg3h@yahoo.com
Category: Mystery, Drama, Action/Adventure, Romance
Keywords: Harry, Ginny, Voldemort, Chalice
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: For all four books
Summary: Harry begins his fifth year at Hogwarts with a female Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, feelings of guilt for Cedric Diggory's death, and looking for someone to share his emotions with. Voldemort has steadily begun to build his reign of terror as a sense of urgency and vigilance goes through Hogwarts and the rest of the wizarding world.
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

The Sides of Fear

Chapter 23
Darkness Awakened

It had been two days since the news about the death of Bill Weasley had been all over the Daily Prophet and the Wizard Wireless Network. Arthur Weasley had tried to go to the Ministry, but he had found himself surrounded by reporters and various people expressing their sympathy. He had left early and he had been given permission to stay home to take care of matters at the Burrow. He had actually been ordered to go home and care for his family. The Ministry of Magic would be able to survive without him for a few days.

He was sitting on a chair across from where Molly Weasley was sleeping. Once in a while she would stir, but the Sleeping Potion she had taken over the past two days did what it was supposed to. Whenever she woke up she would think it had all been a dream, but once she realised Bill was gone she would cry uncontrollably. The doctor had told them to give her the Sleeping Potion for two days at the most, and then they would have to make sure she confronted the situation head on.

The boys had been devastated of course, but they had taken it upon themselves to be strong as their mother needed them to be. Mr. Weasley was trying his best to shoulder the burden, but he was grateful for all the help he was getting. Charlie, who was supposed to go back to Romania, had stayed behind and promised to do so until he felt comfortable to leave them alone in the house. It would not be long until Fred, George, Ron, and Ginny would have to go back to Hogwarts, and Mr. Weasley was happy to know that Charlie would stay home for a while. Percy had not been back and he did not have the heart to tell Molly what had happened. It would have to wait until she was ready.

Ginny had taken it very hard, and he was astounded to see her try to keep her chin up. He knew Bill and Ginny had been very close. Nonetheless she was trying her best to take over her mother's chores, and even though the food had been a bit hard to swallow no one had complained. Everyone knew how hard she was trying and the twins had done the dishes while Ron and Hermione, who had arrived almost right after Harry had left, had done some cleaning.

There was a loud clatter from downstairs and he heard a door squeak open. He could make out Charlie's voice telling all of them to be quiet and let their parents rest. His eyes wandered across the room and stopped at the pictures on the dresser. There was one frame for each of their children, but Fred and George had insisted to have one taken with the two of them together. He looked from one frame to another until he came to a stop at the picture of Bill.

He had always known Bill would become a great wizard ever since that first time he showed signs of magic.

"Molly, why won't he eat it? He just keeps spitting it out."

Molly Weasley sighed and rolled her eyes. "Arthur, you can't expect him just to swallow it. It's probably because he doesn't like the spinach and cauliflower mixture. Try to use the old flying broom coming in for a landing."

Arthur picked up the spoon from the table and took a small scoop out of the green slop. "Here comes the SpeedSweeper...woosh," he said moving the spoon around before trying to put it into Bill's mouth. However, Bill was having none of it.

"Molly, he's not doing anything."

"Just keep on trying. You won't get out of it that easy."

"All right, Bill. Here comes a spoonful of pumpkin juice," tried Arthur.

Right before the spoon reached Bill's closed mouth it flew out of Arthur's hand and flung the contents back at him. It hit him straight in the face and as he wiped it off his glasses he could see Bill smiling at him.

"Dear, don't play with your food. He'll never eat it if he sees you playing around with it instead of eating it," said Mrs. Weasley picking up the spoon and ladling up another load.

"Open wide," she said smiling at Bill.

To Arthur's amazement Bill willingly opened up his mouth and swallowed all of it.

"See? It's that easy. Now I'm going to go see my mother. I'll leave you to feed him the rest of it," she said walking out of the house. Her head popped back in. "And don't play with his food anymore." With that she was gone and Arthur was left alone with Bill. He turned around and found his son smiling at him.

"You think you're funny eh? I'll get you to eat all of this if it's the last thing I do," he said determined to complete his mission.

When Mrs. Weasley had come back several hours later she found her husband at the table still trying to get some of the food into Bill's mouth. Most of it however was splattered all over Arthur's clothes.

He walked over to the dresser and picked up the picture of Bill and before leaving the room he gently placed the frame beside Molly. As he came down into the kitchen the children turned quiet.

"She's fine. She's sleeping soundly," he said, knowing they were worried about the two of them.

"What about you dad? You should get some rest too. You look tired. Don't worry about a thing we'll take care of everything, won't we?" replied Charlie, earning nods from the rest of them.

"Thanks, but I'll be fine. I just want to spend some time with all of you, and...try to prepare myself to talk to your mother," sighed Mr. Weasley.

"Dad, I'll help you. Let's go talk in the living room."

Mr. Weasley gave a short nod as Charlie followed him leaving Hermione and the four Weasleys in the kitchen.

"I'll clean up in here before I go to bed," said Ginny flatly.

"No, you go up to bed," replied George.

"No, I'll..."

"Ginny, we're not asking you," said Fred. "We're telling you."

Ginny gave a feint smile and turned to go upstairs. As she passed her parents' bedroom she opened up the door and peeked in to check on her mother. She was sleeping and Ginny saw the picture of Bill propped up against her side. It almost looked like she was cradling it. Ginny closed the door slowly and walked up to her own room.

***

Harry had been sitting on his bed with the Christmas gift from Sirius for almost an hour. He wondered how he had even managed to remember it with all that had happened in the last few days, and now he was feeling rather silly sitting there staring at a blank piece of parchment. Ten o'clock was only a minute away and Harry did not know what to expect.

At the same time as the clock struck ten the parchment began to glow a soft blue light, and to Harry's amazement words began to appear on the parchment.

Harry? Are you there?

The black writing brought back memories of Tom Riddle's diary, and Harry was stunned. The words disappeared only to be replaced.

Harry? It's me, Snuffles.

Harry blinked twice.

If you're there grab a quill and write on the parchment.

Harry lunged over to where he kept his school supplies, grabbed a quill and ink bottle, and wrote back.

What is this?

The ink melted away as a reply took shape.

It's a communications parchment. One of Dumbledore's little tricks.

Where are you?

I can't tell you, but I'm doing fine. What about you? I heard about Bill Weasley.

Harry winced.

I'm fine, he wrote back.

Harry, I know you. You're not fine. Tell me what's on your mind.

Harry hesitated for a moment, but wrote back.

It's nothing really.

Don't think you'll get away with that. Tell me.

It felt a bit strange to be talking to Sirius on a piece of parchment, but at least he was able to know Sirius was safe.

I just feel responsible for it all.

For Bill?

Yes, and for everything that's happening.

Harry, you sound just like your father. He thought everything was his fault as well, but it wasn't...and it isn't your fault either.

It's not that easy to not think so.

Did any of the Weasleys say so?

No.

If they don't blame you for anything then why should you?

You don't understand.

You don't think I understand? Let me tell you something. When your mother and father died I cursed myself for ever letting Peter be their Secret Keeper. If I would've just kept my mouth shut you would've grown up with a family. Think about that for a moment before you say anything else.

But you didn't mean to do it. You didn't know.

It doesn't make it better, does it? You know it, and I know it. I suffer as you do Harry, but the only thing we can do is live with our choices.

Harry had never thought about it that way, and he realised Sirius must be haunted by his past as much as he was.

You're right.

Of course I'm right. I'm your godfather after all.

It's a bit strange though.

What is?

This is the second time in a few days I've been told off for laying the blame on myself.

Oh, Ron gave you a good bashing?

No, it was Ginny, his sister.

I see. Do you like her?

Harry almost dropped the quill.

No, he scribbled furiously.

You know, I was always good at handwriting analysis, and I'd say you're a bit touchy when it comes to girls.

Harry knew Sirius must be laughing wherever he was.

Very funny.

Don't pout Harry I...

The writing disappeared and a different style of handwriting appeared.

Don't worry about Sirius giving you a hard time. I'll take care of it. Remus.

Harry laughed as Sirius' writing appeared again.

Well he's no fun at all, is he? I have to go now, but before I do I have some instructions concerning this parchment. First of all you need to make it safe from anyone else to use. What you need to do is use your wand and trace three circles in the middle of it while saying your password. This will make it impossible for anyone to use unless they know your password and also have your voice. Dumbledore's a bit tricky isn't he? Did you get that part?

Yes, but how do I contact you with it?

Almost forgot about that. Whenever you want to contact me, just unlock your parchment by tracing the circles again along with your password, then write something. My wand will heat up a bit which will alert me you're trying to reach me. The same goes for your wand. Remember to always carry your wand with you Harry. It's far too dangerous not to.

All right. I just trace three circles, say my password and it'll be safe, right?

You got it. I'll talk to you soon Harry, and I'll try to see you as soon as possible. Goodbye

Goodbye, and say hello to Professor Lupin.

The ink vanished from the parchment and no more words appeared. Harry took out his wand and traced three circles saying, "Snitch." The parchment glowed a soft white light for a second then it returned to looking like any old parchment. Harry looked at it for a moment then traced the circles again on the parchment. There as no light this time and he thought he might have done something wrong. He grabbed the quill again and wrote,

Sirius?

The ink stayed on the parchment for a few seconds before it disappeared and was replaced by the familiar handwriting of his godfather.

Harry? What's wrong?

Nothing. I just wanted to see if it works.

Of course it works. I made it. No you did not. Yes I did. No you did not. Dumbledore made it. Well, I helped. Yes, by staying out of his way. Well that's something isn't it?

Harry shook his head as the squabble continued between Remus and Sirius.

Anyway, was that all you wanted Harry?

Yes. Sorry about that.

Just remember to always lock it after we're done. If you don't then anyone can use it.

I won't forget. Goodbye.

Bye.

Harry performed the locking charm and tucked it away at the bottom of his trunk before starting in on his Charms assignment. He could not stop thinking about Bill however, and he flung his book aside with a frustrated groan. He wished he was still at the Burrow. That night he had spent at the Burrow had changed his life. He was now part of a family. He closed his eyes wishing he would wake up in Ron's orange bedroom, but all that greeted him was the ceiling in the Gryffindor dormitory.

He remembered how he had had the nightmare about Voldemort killing all of the Weasleys, but he also remembered something else about that night. He had been in the middle of another dream, but this time it had only been him and Voldemort. They had been standing on a cliff by the seashore where the waves were crashing against the sharp rocks.

"So we meet again Harry Potter, and this time it's just the two of us."

"I don't care. We'll finish this once and for all," yelled Harry.

"No need to be so hostile. Didn't your parents teach you to be civil?"

"Murderer," growled Harry.

"Oh yes, it almost slipped my mind," replied Voldemort whimsically. He had his back turned toward Harry and he was looking out over the water. "Harry, why don't you join me? We could be great together."

"I'd never join you. You're nothing but a filthy, cowardly, murderer," spat Harry.

"Tsk, tsk. You should really learn to be more civil. I know there is a part of me inside of you. If only you would have been in Slytherin," sighed Voldemort turning around to face Harry.

Harry hesitated for a moment as he remembered how the Sorting Hat had given him a choice between Slytherin and Gryffindor.

"We are so much more alike than you would imagine. All I want is power. Violence just comes along with it I suppose."

"Liar! You enjoy seeing people suffer."

Voldemort sighed heavily as a blissful smile formed on his lips. "Ah, yes. I suppose you're right there. It is rather...satisfying to see people kneel before me. To see them shiver at the mere presence of my powers." Voldemort's eyes were glinting as he continued. "Don't you see? Power is the only thing that matters. Power gives you life. Power gives you happiness. But," he paused shrugging his shoulders, "it comes with a price. We all go down different paths in life, and power brings certain burdens along with it."

Voldemort reached over to touch Harry, but Harry shriveled away from him with disgust. Voldemort let out a short laugh.

"You despise me, don't you?"

"What do you think?" hissed Harry taking out his wand and aiming it at Voldemort.

"I think you need...guidance," he said thoughtfully.

"From you?"

"Yes. Who else could teach you about the finer things in life?"

"Dumbledore is a much more powerful wizard than you ever were."

A flash of anger crossed Voldemort's face, but it quickly vanished.

"Dumbledore is powerful, but he is no match for me once I get my full powers back. When you come to me I will finally be complete. Then nothing can stop me."

"I'll never join you."

"You'll come to me when the time is right, and when you do, you'll have to face your deepest fear. I know what it is Harry Potter, and this time there will be no mistake. I know what you fear the most. I know...I know..."

At that point Harry had woken up and he had shot open his eyes. That nightmare had felt very real, and he almost thought Voldemort had been talking to him. He had not told Dumbledore about the dream yet, but he suspected the Headmaster already knew something was bothering him. Harry jumped off his bed heading for Dumbledore's office. The words of Sirius rang through his head as he sprinted down the halls. Trust Dumbledore with everything.

Harry quickly found himself by the door and it was ajar. He opened it up a little bit more.

"Professor?"

"Come in Harry. What's on your mind?"

Harry sat down in the chair. "There's something I need to tell you that I...forgot about."

"You mean about the night at the Burrow?" said Dumbledore nonchalantly making Harry's jaw drop.

"How did you..."

"Harry, I've told you before that I might be old, but not blind and deaf, yet. It'll come soon enough I suspect, but as of now I can still keep an eye or two on my students."

"Well sir, I had another nightmare so to speak," started Harry.

Harry proceeded to tell Dumbledore the whole story and when he finished he could see the Headmaster sit back in his chair and give a thoughtful tug at his beard.

"Was it just a nightmare?" asked Harry.

"I'm afraid Voldemort has regained enough of his powers to use the connection between the two of you sporadically. He can't reach you yet, but if we let him grow stronger he will be able to communicate with you whenever he pleases to do so."

"So you're saying that Voldemort can read my mind?"

"Not exactly Harry. Just as you see glimpses of Voldemort's actions, so does he. The protection set up around this castle will protect you from any such intrusions, but when you leave Hogwarts there is no possible way for me to protect you completely. That is why he was able to get through to you at the Burrow. You do not need to worry Harry. Nothing will harm you here."

"Professor, what did he mean by what I fear the most?"

"That, dear Harry, I can not help you with. Only you can come to terms with your greatest fear."

"But my greatest fear was facing a Dementor again, and now that I can conjure a Patronus..."

"Yes Harry. That was your greatest fear. Sometimes we try to hide our fears in hope of never having to face them or deal with them. Someone once told me that fear can only be discovered when you face what you have been trying to avoid. Only then will you know what the meaning of true fear is."

"What can I do?"

"I'm afraid I can't tell you."

"Is there nothing I can do?"

Dumbledore put his fingertips against each other as he closed his eyes to think. Harry just stared at him for what seemed an eternity. He watched as Dumbledore took deep breaths through his nose leaving his nostrils flaring wildly. All of a sudden his eyes shot open.

"There is of course one possible solution to your problem," said Dumbledore looking fairly pleased. "We could arrange for you to face a Boggart again, thus finding the source of your fear." Harry nodded. "However, there are a few things Professor Lupin did not tell you during your third year. A Boggart will take shape as whatever you fear the most, unless," he paused leaning across the desk and peering over his spectacles, "unless it is deeply hidden within you and if you try to fight it by creating an illusionary fear to replace it."

"I'll try anything Professor," pleaded Harry.

"Very well, I will see to it. You will be informed as to where and when it will take place. I must advice you not to tell anyone about this. Voldemort has far too many spies in the wizarding community not to have a handful here. This time I must insist you heed my advice as it would diminish any advantage we might garner from this experiment."

"Yes Professor. I won't tell anyone."

"That means Mr. Weasley and Miss Granger as well."

"I understand. Thank you sir," said Harry as he left to go back to Gryffindor Tower alone in thought about what he could possibly be trying to hide.

I'm scared of Dementors nothing else, he said to himself, but somehow he knew there was something else that lurked within his mind. Something he had not been forced to deal with. Something that was going to come out, one way or another.

***

Hermione had met up with Ron and Ginny on platform nine and three-quarters and they had found an empty compartment almost at the end of the train. They were about halfway to Hogwarts and Ginny had spent most of the time just staring out the window. Bill's funeral had taken place at the Burrow, and he had been buried on one of the hilltops that overlooked the Burrow and the lake. It had been a very small gathering and Hermione assumed that most of them were relatives or friends. Harry had not been able to attend as Dumbledore had said it was far too much of a risk to take.

Mrs. Weasley had been holding on to Mr. Weasley throughout the ceremony, but when Ginny had given her speech Mrs. Weasley had broken down in tears as the rest of the family gathered around her holding on for dear life. Hermione had been to her grandfather's funeral, but she had only been four years old at the time. This was quite different.

She looked at Ron who was rubbing a collector's card from one of his chocolate frogs. He had not done or said much since the trip back to Hogwarts started, but Hermione understood and she would give him the time he needed. She knew she would be there for him if he needed her, but for now she would sit back and wait. The railroad tracks were getting a bit bumpy and the compartment gave off loud clatters every now and then.

All of a sudden the door slid open and Draco Malfoy was standing there with Crabbe and Goyle by his side. He had an ugly smirk on his face as he strode into the compartment. Ron had stopped rubbing his card and turned on Malfoy.

"Sod off Malfoy," he growled.

"Is that a way to treat someone like me? A pureblood," Malfoy replied looking sharply at Hermione.

"I said sod off you bouncing ferret."

Malfoy narrowed his eyes. "I just wanted to say how sorry I was to hear about your brother, Weasel. Sorry that more of you didn't get what you deserve."

Ron flew out of his seat throwing a punch at Malfoy, but missing.

"Manners Weasel, manners. At least that's one less mouth to feed. It'll make it easier for you to get a pair of new robes next year," Malfoy looked over at Ginny, "and perhaps even get your sister to look halfway decent." Ginny blushed.

Ron flung himself into the chest of Malfoy and they tumbled to the floor. Ron tried to get a punch in, but Crabbe and Goyle quickly pulled him off. Malfoy rose up slowly still wearing the same smirk.

"You should learn your place in life, and so should the rest of your family. Tell them the Malfoy's send their...regards, and hope to hear more of the same soon."

This time both Ron and Ginny tried to get to Malfoy, but Crabbe pushed Ginny back and Goyle easily stopped Ron's approach.

"You dirty, slimy..."

"It's music to my ears Weasel. Please continue."

"I'll get you for this Malfoy, I'll get you for this," growled Ron, pushing off Goyle's arm from his.

"Try it, and your mother and father will have another son to mourn," said Malfoy before gesturing to his henchmen to follow him as he left.

Ron rushed out of the compartment and yelled after Malfoy.

"I'll get you Malfoy. You'll regret you were ever born you..."

"Mr. Weasley? What is going on here?"

Professor McGonagall stepped out of another compartment a few doors down looking at Ron and then at the retreating back of Malfoy.

"Nothing professor."

"I dare say shouting loud enough for everyone to hear does not constitute as nothing. Go back to your compartment and please quiet down."

"Yes professor," said Ron shooting another glare at Malfoy before turning around.

"Mr. Weasley?"

Ron stopped and turned around once again to face McGonagall.

"I am truly sorry about your brother. Bill was an excellent student and wizard." Ron nodded. "Much like all of the Weasleys he possessed the right qualities to do great things," she said looking pointedly at Ron who was a bit taken aback. "Now go on. Get back to your sister and Miss Granger."

He went back into the compartment and found Hermione and Ginny waiting for him.

"Aren't you going to tell me how stupid I just acted?" he said, aiming his words at Hermione.

Hermione looked like she was going to cry, but she bit her lip and looked away. Ron sat down next to her and she moved over closer to the window.

"Hermione didn't think you were stupid before, but now I think you're acting stupidly," said Ginny angrily. "She was just worried you would do something that might get you into trouble, and then you come back in here and talk to her like that? If mum knew she would send you a Howler right now."

Ron folded his arms together determined to block out anything his sister was saying. He looked over at Hermione and he could see her wiping tears off her face. He felt horrible.

"I'm sorry Hermione. I'm really sorry. I didn't mean it," he said, moving a bit closer.

Hermione kept looking out the window as Ron continued.

"It was really stupid of me to say that. I know how much you care about us and saying that just wasn't fair. I understand if you don't want to talk to me anymore. I wouldn't want to either," said Ron trailing off.

Hermione turned around, her eyes a bit red and puffy.

"Of course I'll talk to you, you stupid git," she said through her tears.

"Hermione, you just said..."

"Oh shut up Ron," sobbed Hermione as she flung her arms around a baffled Ron.

***

Outside on the steps of Hogwarts a dark-haired boy was busy throwing various sized rocks across the grounds. He was anxiously awaiting the arrival of his friends and the rest of the students as the holidays were over. The conversation he had with Dumbledore a few days after Christmas weighed heavily on him, and he had spent most of his time trying to figure out what, if anything, he could possibly be scared of. He was not too fond of Floo Powder, but somehow he could not picture Voldemort threatening him with a handful of that.

Maybe it had something to do with water as he had not been too thrilled about going into the lake during the Triwizard Tournament.

"Is that the best you can think of?" he said angrily to himself, hurling away another rock. "Floo Powder and water?"

He got up from where he was sitting and walked towards the Great Hall. A short while after he had settled down in his usual spot at the Gryffindor table students started filing into the room. Harry strained his neck trying to get a glimpse to see if he could spot his friends. Before he knew it the tables were almost filled and he was beginning to worry that something else had happened at the Burrow. To his relief he saw Ron and Hermione walk in through the large doors and they sat down next to him. Ginny was not far behind, but she found a place at the other end of the table.

"You had me worried there for a moment," whispered Harry. "I thought...something else had happened."

"Something did happen, but it was on the train. Malfoy," said Ron angrily.

"What d..."

"I see you found your companion Weasel," drawled Draco. "I already told Weasel here how truly sorry I was to hear that only one of their brood was gone."

Ron stood up looking ready to fight Malfoy, but Hermione put a hand on his arm.

"Don't do it Ron. He's not worth it."

"Worth? That's something coming out of your mouth, Mudblood."

"Malfoy, just leave us alone," growled Harry.

"Or what?"

"Or I'll do something that'll get us both expelled," threatened Harry.

Draco's smile faltered a bit. "You can't do anything to me," he said with uncertainty in his voice.

"Try me."

Harry and Draco were glaring at each other trying to make the other turn away. Finally Draco let out a laugh.

"You're nothing Potter. Just you wait. Your time will come soon enough," he said, leaving to sit down at the Slytherin table.

"Ron, you can't let him get to you like that," said Hermione with a quivering voice. "One day you might do something you'll regret."

"The only thing I regret is that I didn't knock his socks off when I had the chance."

"Ron..."

"Hermione, it's not that easy," yelled Ron, making heads turn to where they were sitting.

"You're only doing what Malfoy wants you to do. If you just ignore him he'll go away eventually. Right Harry?"

"She's right Ron. He is a bloody..."

"Harry," hissed Hermione.

"Well, he is," said Harry shrugging his shoulders.

"It doesn't matter. Now promise me Ron that you will at least try not to fight with Malfoy. For me," she pleaded.

Ron's resolve melted away as he let out a frustrated sigh. "I promise," he muttered.

At that same time across the room Draco was seething with anger as he watched the trio in their heated conversation. Everywhere he went there was a constant reminder of the great Harry Potter. He hated him for it, and the fact that he was loved by so many only made it worse. He would get his chance to upstage him in a couple of weeks when Slytherin faced off against Gryffindor.

I'll get you then Potter. You and the rest of your Mudblood loving friends.

~~~~~

A/N: Thank you so much for all the reviews. This chapter is about a day late, but real life was in my way I suppose. Besides, I didn't feel like writing for while *gasp*. I know I made some of you believe Harry was awake when Ginny told him everything, but I'm sorry to say that he was not. I know, that was evil of me to do that, but it was a lot of fun *dangles his readers like marionettes* Only about 6 more chapters to go I think, or something like that. On the other hand I thought this story was going to be about 15 chapters long...so much for that. Now, if you're a bit upset about Harry not actually hearing what Ginny had to say then go ahead and flame me, but I warn you...I have a fire extinguisher and I know Stop-Drop-Roll ;) The next chapter will be out in a week or so again, but I won't promise anything as I am fairly busy right now. Life...what a drag ;P

Thank you to the following kind and fantastic people who reviewed chapter 22:
Mary, Tiah, LivelyRach, Katie, Master, CactusKitty, Maddy, Conlan, Sarah, Nadako-Mika, Lilbluangel25, mam434, alex, teazer, Abba