Disclaimer: I own nothing! I literally mean it, JKR owns the characters. Meethzoonk own the idea. The computer belongs to my mum. Even the shirt I'm wearing belongs to my brother!!!

annonymouse would like to say *Blows a raspberry* TTTTBTHBTBHTBHTBHT! ENJOY! Oh, and if you have the time, come read my fics, my nic if you haven't already guessed… is annonymouse!

*Meethzoonk slaps annonymouse's head for shamelessly advertising her stories*

annonymouse : ARGHRGHRGH! Gerrof me you… you… GERBIL *swats Meethzoonk away* As I was saying…

Meethzoonk : Oh NO you DON'T! *Grabs annonymouse's hair and starts yanking* Gerbil!? I'll show you GERBIL!

Annonymouse : Wait…*pushes Meethzoonk away* Enjoy the fic, This'll take a while *Pinches Meethzoonk's nose… hard*

Meethzoonk : Yeah… Wad se sed *Finds it hard to speak through said pinched nose…*

Harry frowned at Fred and George who were the new captains for the Gryffindor Quidditch team. For the past hour they've been lecturing/shouting at those who weren't paying attention alternately.

To be honest, he was bored to bits! He'd rather be practising his moves!

Yes you heard right.

He'd rather be practising his so-called 'moves' than do Quidditch.

The Muggle Studies teacher had announced that he was planning a 'Talent Show'. This was supposed to boost morale. A Talent Show. Open to all students who had anything to give. Harry had been one of the first ones to sign up. The 'pure-blooded' witches and wizards in the school were somewhat sceptical but as they saw their 'hero' sign up, a hoard of them trampled the teacher to sign up.

That was of course the problem. The Talent Show. It jealously guarded his thoughts day and night. To hell with Quidditch. He thought as they started to walk to the field.

Arrogantly he waved to the people at the stands. The girls around Hermione had started to fan themselves again as Harry winked. Personally, she was pissed. What is up with him anyway? She groaned.

"WORD UP PEOPLE!" Harry bellowed and nodded, satisfied to see half the female population tug at the front of their robes and faint.

The Slytherins watched him incredulously, in fact at that very moment Draco's usual calm composure broke, his cold eyes goggled, and he chuckled at the fool. Chuckling wouldn't seem very much to us, but to Malfoy… Chuckling was the equivalent of a full-blown laughter… The rolling-on-the-floor-clutching-sides kind of laughter. The can't-breath-oh-God-HELP-me kinda laughter. The I-sound-like-a-maniac-but-I-don't-care kinda laughter. The… well, you get the picture. His team-mates looked at him curiously, he shrugged and motioned to Madam Hooch who was signalling them to start the game.

"And th… th… the g… g…game is off to an ex… ex… exit… exiting… I mean… ex… exciting… start." Neville stammered, he was nervous at being the commentator for this game.

Lee Jordan looked at him impatiently. This would be the last year he was commentating and was right now training other students for replacing him. Not working.

Everyone else seemed to crack under the pressure. So he desperately grabbed Neville's robes and yanked him off.

"Nuff' of that! Out the way you ninny!… Sorry Professor…" He magically magnified his voice and started where Neville left of.

"And Gryffindor beater, Fred 'I Got Laid' Weasley… Sorry Professor… beats the Bludger to an unsuspecting fool… I mean Slytherin chaser Pricilla Pierce, ooooh nicely dodged… She shoots and…. NO SCORE!" He cried out happily as the crowd roared with joy

"Blocked nicely by Ron Weasley, nice find there boys… Might be better than Wood with a bit of training…"

Harry blocked out the rest of Lee's amusing and sarcastic rhetorics. He looked at the ground and was bored to hell. Silently he began to practice his arm movements, mouthing the words to one of Nelly's song. He was so engrossed in what he was doing, too busy to see the Bludger which was headed right to his head.

WHAM!

It hit his head hard.

It hurt. (D'uh!)… Bad…

He clutched his broom tightly and began to tilt to the right.

The whole of the pitch watched worriedly as he continued to tilt.

With a sudden whoosh he was upside down. Still clutching his broom.

"Ooooh nasty hit there taken by Potter… Is he alive? I hear rigor mortis sets in almost immediately if the victim was doing strenuous exercise… Sorry Professor… Wait… Is that movement???"

Indeed it was, Harry shook his head and stared straight ahead. For one minuscule moment he was Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived, not The Boy Who Wished He Was A Rapper But Fails Miserably. Still upside down, realisation hit him with a full-blown force of a horde of buffaloes. He's been hypnotised! Quickly he righted himself… You know… The right way up…

The two personalities watched each other (Imagine this was in Harry's head), furious at the interruption to his moves… Rapper Harry attacks Normal Harry. The result was comical.

Mentally they fought, trying to gain consciousness and control over the physical body. Physically though… His body was a different matter

"What's this? Hogwart's youngest seeker is… Beating the crap… Sorry Professor… Out of… HIMSELF?" The whole school watched with interest at the scene

Only Draco 'I Know I'm Hot' Malfoy was close enough. Close enough to hear Harry shout at himself

"GET OUT!… Yo' ma brotha', why you gotta… OUT! YOU BAST***!… Imma gonna beat your skinny ass!… You own skinny ass you prat!… Yo! No need for... I cannot believe Dudley had enough talent to HYPNO-BLOODY-TISED ME!!!" One hard slap landed on his cheek and he went still.

Malfoy who had been watching with curiosity frowned. Hypno-what!? Weird muggle thing I suppose…He tried to think of what it means. He had heard his father say it once. Once was more than enough though, because Draco Malfoy had an excellent memory, and in a moment of sheer brilliance he remembered.

Hypertice, or hypotice or what ever was the muggle equivalence of the Imperio curse. So this was not Harry 'I'm The Boy Who Lived To Save Humanity Over And Over And Over Again' Potter! This was Harry 'The Boy Who Tries So Hard To Speak Ghetto (What ever Ghetto means…)' Potter…He can certainly be used to my advantage.

"Potter's back NA NA NA NA NA NA NA, He's back NYA HA HA HA HA HA!" Harry rapped ceaselessly. He flew a lap around the massive Quidditch pitch stopping now and again to blow kisses and wink at every creature with legs and a pair of boobs. He made one major stop though. Where else but in front of Cho…

"Hey Harry…" She said weakly, feeling herself drown in his eyes

"Hey babe… Lookin' hot…" He winked at her and she fainted dead away with a red face and a small sigh of contentment. She of course didn't understand anything he was saying. Because to her knowledge, she was neither a baby pig, or that red. True she was feeling rather hot, but that was entirely his fault.

Draco watched with growing amusement as Harry mooned everyone. Hoooo boy… This Harry was definitely an exhibitionist. Sirius Black would have been proud.

But Draco was one of the few who found the situation amusing. For one, the Gryffindor team was actually pissed at his antiques and his lack of concentration on the game. The snitch had actually passed under his nose once and he had ignored it completely! Hermione Granger was another one who disapproved. It was not nice seeing one's best friend's butt displayed near her face. It was not pleasant trying to talk to this Harry. And it was not pleasant to see him make an embarrassment to himself!

She huffed indignantly as a girl next to her commented on how 'dreamy' Harry was these days. Personally she hated the change. She watched him suspiciously as his face twitched, he looked straight at her and his eyes were pleading for help. Begging her to save him. Then the next minute he winked. Just what was happening? Her already existent frown deepened, was Harry in danger then?

Her thoughts were no more as she saw Draco 'You Know You Want Me' Malfoy took a deep dive, followed closely by Harry.

"Yo, whaddup there birdies!" Harry nodded to a few passing owls… They hooted in confusion. Harry 'I'm Trying To Rap Here' Potter wasn't watching the ground, he was too busy flinging his arms around practicing his 'moves…

To busy to remember he was still in a steep dive…

Then, to everyone's utter amazement and horror… SPLAT! Harry hit the ground… and Malfoy caught the Golden Snitch. Slytherin won.

Yes… You heard right… SLYTHERIN WON!!!

Yes, we all know that that's illegal… But they won nonetheless

"Right then… Not worth commenting… Slytherin won." Lee started dejectedly *He he! It rhymes!* He looked down at the silent pitch, *Crickets starts to chirp* the only noise was made by the celebrating team.

"Awful end… Bet they cheated… Sorry Professor… Just stating how disgusting and awfully this match ended… Fine!… Okay I'll stop!… Stop swatting me!!!" He batted away McGonagall's fierce swatting and slumped in his chair. Damn it all…

Draco smirked… Oh hell yeah, this was gonna be one fiiiiine year for the Slytherins!

annonymouse : *annonymouse kicks Meethzoonk away and locks her in tha dungeon* Right then you lot, finished??? Good. I'm finished as well, Meethzoonk will not be returning for a while until I let her out. *Brushes clothes with hands* Evil of me to let Slytherin win wasn't it? *Evil cackle*

annonymouse doesn't notice Meethzoonk 'Wingardium Laviosa'-ing a heeeuugeee bat to her head

As I was saying… *Whack!…* Ooookay… Ouch

annonymouse falls and Meethzoonks laughs evilly

Meethzoonk : I swear I can make another story just from her bloody Author's notes! Stupid annoying mouse! *Hiiissssssss* I'M EVVVVVVEEEEEIIILLLLLLLLL I tell yooooouuuu… EEEEVIIIIIIIEEEEELLLL!!! *kicks annonymouse hard*