]+ ELECTRONIC TRANSCENDENCE PRODUCTIONS +[
presents

]+ NEON EPOCH +[
]+ E V A N G E L I O N +[

]+ EPISODE 27: BRING HEAVEN LOW +[

By Eliot "Lostfactor" Lefebvre

Based off of "Shin Seiki Evangelion" by GAINAX

]++[

God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the
darkness.
-GENESIS 1:4

]++[

Neil sat in the tomblike cockpit of EVA-01, bloody LCL washing across
his body in steady waves, and struggled to cry. His eyes were
bloodshot, his body weak from tears and exasperation, but he couldn't
feel the outrage and terror that he knew he ought to. All that he
could perceive was the steady beat of the LCL and the emptiness at the
back of his mind.

"I can't feel the Eva any more," he whispered, letting bubbles of air
rise from his lips as he spoke, his hands flexing against the handrests
as numbness invaded his muscles. For all his efforts, he'd always
believed that he would be happy when the Eva's mind no longer clawed at
the back of his own. "There's nothing I can do. It's all over."

"Weakling." The voice was familiar, and as Neil slowly raised his eyes
he could see the familiar visage of his double, squatting at the far
end of the darkened chamber, the red-orange liquid seeming almost to
melt away from him. There was only the dimmest light with which to see
the apparition, but Neil knew full well that a red dagger rested within
its hands. "You come this close, and you give it all up."

Closing his eyes, Neil stretched out his mind, fumbling for the beast
that always surrounded him in the cockpit. "It's no good," he replied,
shaking his head and struggling once more to cry. "Gendou wasn't
lying. There's nothing left to connect my mind with EVA-01. It might
as well have been destroyed."

"And you think that your ability comes from your mind?" asked the
double mockingly. "Gendou told you that, too. Your ability comes from
the soul as much as it comes from anywhere. As long as you're still
alive, you can pilot this machine."

"No, I -can't-!" snapped Neil, bolting upright and staring at the empty
space where the other had been seconds before. He stared for a moment
longer, then fell back into his seat, cursing his own weakness
silently. If he hadn't hesitated in that one instant against Rei, he
would have been able to destroy her, would have stopped Gendou before
he had alternatives. He hadn't even managed to be a monster the one
time that he needed to be.

The boy crossed his arms across his chest as a slow chill moved through
the cockpit, then flicked his eyes to one side to see the double
standing beside him once again. He was wearing Neil's purple and green
plugsuit, and the dagger glittered freely in his hand, his eyes staring
harshly at the boy. "You're just afraid to try, aren't you?" sneered
the other. "It would mean connecting your soul to this monster, and
you know it. You're still clinging to something that you're not."

"God damn it, I don't -care- if I live through this or not!" snapped
Neil, his hand shooting forward and grabbing the arm that held the
dagger. The other seemed surprised, but managed to hold on to the
weapon despite Neil's efforts to wrest it free. "I want to save the
others, not myself. I... I just can't do anything right."

"Coward," snarled the other, yanking his hand free with a strength Neil
hadn't known it possessed. Neil gaped, but the double-pronged red
weapon did not fall on him, and the other simply stood and looked at
the boy with hateful eyes. "You're still just as afraid as ever to
embrace what you are. The more you say that you're willing to be a
monster, the more you -"

"If you know, -help- me!" snapped Neil, the words leaping from his
mouth before he even realized it. The other started slightly, but Neil
rose to his feet, his head falling just shy of hitting the metal
ceiling of the entry plug. "I... I don't know how else to pilot this
machine, even if I can. But I..." He half-sighed and half-growled,
the words choking in his throat. "I'm asking you. Help me."

The other stared for a moment, then pointed the dagger at Neil's chest
in one smooth motion, letting the twin red tips dance inches away from
the boy's heart. Neil resisted the urge to twitch, sweat beading
slowly on his brow, and without hesitation the other flipped the knife
around, pointing the hilt at Neil, his hands holding the blade,
illusionary blood spilling forth. "Stab me," whispered the other as
Neil took the hilt. "You know where."

Neil stared at the blade for a moment, the thin traces of blood already
along it, the perfect red metal it was forged from. Gritting his
teeth, he moved towards the other, holding the blade at the ready,
pointing it at the double's heart. A deep breath tore its way into his
lungs, his heart pumping like a jackhammer as he prepared to stab.

Then his eyes met his mirror image's eyes, and Neil understood.
Lifting the dagger and letting out a cry, he slammed the twin points
into his other's eyes, the red metal vanishing into the twin green orbs
as Neil pushed with all his strength.

For a moment, the world froze in slow motion, the double smiling
gradually as Neil watched the blood trickle down. Then he felt a sharp
pain in his hands, and saw the slow mist of blood releasing itself from
his own body as well. "It starts with the hands," he whispered to
himself, feeling a new sensation at the back of his mind, still
recognizably the Eva but in a way that he'd never experienced before.
"That was how it happened before -"

In an instant, he felt himself torn away, and even as he did the great
power of his limbs flooded through him once again. His eyes snapped
open as the cold cut against his body, and opening his great jaws he
let loose a roar of triumph. Above him swirled false snows, but he
paid them no mind as he dragged himself to his feet, eyes casting a
green light around him. There was too much to be done to stay in
place. Even as the mechanical shackles riddling his body held him
down, he forced himself upwards, roaring all the while.

]++[

Ritsuko's eyes widened as the main screen showed EVA-01, its great
purple body slowly rising into a standing position, the great roar
issuing forth from its lips and and noise of cybernetics grinding to
obediance filling the air. "He revived it," she hissed, leaning
towards the screen as flashing alert displays filled the room. "God in
heaven, he wasn't supposed to be able to do that! We shut down all of
the mechanical connections!"

"Synch ratio at 100% again!" shouted Maya, a small note of triumph in
her voice even as she frantically worked the console. "EVA-01's
biomass is growing in unprecedented directions! It's replacing some of
the cybernetic systems with biological equivalents! All neural
connections are offline, but it's still synchronized!"

"Fine," Ritsuko spat, whirling towards Maya as anger flashed in her
eyes. She would show the boy who had control over the rotting husk he
piloted. "Maya, deactivate all life support systems aboard the Eva.
Remove all circulatory systems. Initiate necrosis."

Maya started, then turned her eyes slowly towards Ritsuko, a terrified
expression on her face. "Ma'am?" she gasped, her shoulders trembling.
"You - you can't be serious."

"It's our technology that's keeping that thing and its pilot alive. If
that impairs our ultimate goals, then we have the ability to remove
that technology." She took a step towards Maya, feeling the vaguest
disconnection from her body as the thin white lab coat rushed around
her ankles. "Deactivate every system on that machine. It will set to
rot within seconds."

After a moment, Maya turned back towards her console, her fingers
gently striking the console as if she was moving through thick syrup.
Then, without warning, she pushed back from her station, standing as
her fists clenched, turning slowly towards Ritsuko with a firm look in
her eyes. "No."

Once again, Ritsuko's eyes widened, but she recovered more swiftly this
time. "This time you really -are- overstepping yourself, Maya. I am
giving you an order, and I -"

"No." There was no hesitation in the young woman's voice this time,
even as her entire body trembled like a willow in a hurricane. "Dr.
Akagi... I started working here because I admired you, and that's the
only reason that I've stayed even while people have left. I've admired
your courage, I've admired your brilliance, I've -" A brilliant
crimson flushed into Maya's cheeks, and she bowed her head slightly.

"We don't have time for this," snapped Ritsuko, stepping forward until
she nearly touched Maya, ice flashing from her eyes. "If we don't stop
Neil now, everything that we've worked on will be for nothing. Get
back to your post and -"

"You're willing to -murder- a -child-!" snapped Maya, lunging forward
and grabbing Ritsuko's jacket, desperation passing across her face.
"Ritsuko, for the love of God, look at yourself! You're letting
yourself become inhuman! I... I would follow you -anywhere-, but I'm
not going to let you continue to -"

Cutting Maya short, Ritsuko grabbed the young woman and flung her aside
with all the strength she could muster. It was just barely enough, and
Maya staggered aside as Ritsuko sat angrily in her chair. "Fine," she
snapped. "If you don't have the willpower to do what's -right-, I
will." Her fingers hesitated against the keyboard for just a moment,
and with quick and determined motions she changed the display, her
finger hovering above the final keystroke needed to destroy the purple
Eva.

Then, almost by accident, her eyes fell on Maya. The young woman had
crumpled to the floor, and the only thing that Ritsuko could feel was
contempt at the imperfections in her staff. It was just enough to stay
her hand for a moment as she watched Maya cry, her irritation growing
as the alarms blared louder. "Maya, you knew all of this! You helped
us achieve this goal! Don't tell me you've changed your mind after all
that!"

"Shut up," Maya spat, her body shuddering as tears fell from her eyes,
making small noises as they hit the floor. "I wish I had never met any
of you. You're not trying to save people. You can't even see what
you're doing."

Another roar shook the chamber, and Ritsuko found herself unable to
bring down her finger even though she knew it was time. Kozou's words
kept racing through her head about the situation, the lingering doubt
about whether or not Gendou was truly pursuing the right course of
action. She remembered testing Ryo, hearing the Children scream, the
way that Neil had raced to his Eva every time it seemed worthless. And
more than anything, she remembered her mother.

Her eyes fell on the reflective screen in front of her, trembling
slightly as her hand drew back. Her hair was no longer the same color,
her face bore the makeup that her mother had always eschewed, her
outfit graceful instead of utilitarian. But even as she stared she
could recognize the expression, and could remember standing alone in a
corridor of Central Dogma before it was the heart of NERV, a scared and
lonely girl hating her mother with all her heart. "Never like her,"
she whispered. "Never become..."

"You're just like your mother." Kozou's words rang in her ears as she
staggered backwards, hands still locked in position, her steps uneasy
and off-balance. "She could never bear to hear it, either."

Without realizing it, Ritsuko had fallen to her knees, her hands
pressing against her face, lipstick and eyeshadow smearing as tears
began to pool within her cupped hands. "I did what I said I never
would," she gasped, shuddering gently on the floor, the world around
her seeming to lose substance. "I... I thought that I just needed
the... that..."

Choking down another sob, the woman pulled herself to her feet, staring
at the main screen, the Eva roaring and struggling against its
weakness. She knew that the boy inside was hurting, was being used as
a cog in a machine because of her own lack of compassion. "He's going
to turn us all into machines," she whispered, her eyes now off of Neil
and flicking towards the Magi. "Gendou wants to take all of us and...
and God, I helped him..."

Then a shudder raced through the base, nearly sending Ritsuko back to
the floor, and she realized what was happening. Squeezing her eyes
shut for a moment, Ritsuko clenched her fists, forcing herself to
remain calm, knowing that everyone's eyes were on her. "Maya," she
said softly, turning halfway towards the young woman. "Re-activate all
of the mechanical systems on board EVA-01. Disengage all locking
mechanisms in Terminal Dogma. Try to override EVA-08's systems."

Maya's face split into a nervous grin, and she took her seat, quickly
cancelling Ritsuko's previous command and entering another sequence.
"EVA-01's cybernetics should be online within one minute," she
announced decisively. "EVA-08... there's some kind of security system
in place, holding me out!"

"I know. I designed it." Ritsuko resisted the urge to shudder at the
thought, stepping over to Maya's terminal as the purple Eva on the
screen roared ever louder. "Keep trying. We've got to stop Third
Impact before it goes any further."

On the higher level, Kozou was staring down at the scene, watching the
blonde woman begin moving back and forth, working to revive Neil and
his machine even as alarms blared through the area. A thin smile had
made its way across his mouth at the sight, his regrets momentarily
lifted. "You're not so much like your mother after all, then," he
whispered, closing his eyes.

"Dr. Fuyutsuki!" The shout caught the elder man off-guard, and the
smile vanished from his lips as he stared down at the lower level.
Ritsuko was looking up at him, her makeup smeared beyond recognition
but a strength visible in her eyes. "We... we could use your help down
here. If you're willing."

A brief shudder went through his body, and he nodded curtly to Ritsuko,
turning sharply and heading towards the elevator door. His eyes
drifted half-closed once again, thinkin of the delicate features of
Yui, remembering the broken way that Gendou had stood in front of EVA-
01 after the first activation. "Forgive me," he whispered, pressing
the button and letting the doors slide open. "But we're only humans.
We can't substitute for God."

]++[

The doors that held Neil back crumpled under the pressure of his AT
Field, the octagonal field ripping forth and hurling everything around
him away. It took only a light pressure from his hands to break
through the doors completely, sending the massive slabs of black metal
crashing forward into the sea of LCL. "Your time is over, Ikari," he
hissed, his voice sounding deeper and more powerful as it roared past
metal jaws.

He had never, to his knowledge, been so connected with the Eva before,
certainly not when he was fully conscious of it, but now he could feel
every inch of the thin and powerful body, could see clearly from its
green-lit eyes, felt the armor move across his skin as he launched
himself into the LCL. There was no disconnection between his own mind
and the Eva's as he felt the LCL lap against his knees, watching Gendou
and EVA-08 look towards him in unified shock. It was heady and
frightening at once, but he ignored his fright, letting his hands
clench into fists, letting out a powerful roar that seemed to send
shockwaves through the entire building.

Gendou was nothing more than an ant on a walkway, and Neil paid no
attention to him, instead rushing towards the golden monster with its
hand half-sunk through Lillith, eyes glowing a hateful blue even as
Neil approached. Energy crackled around the Second and the Eva, and
Neil saw Rei raise her arm in almost slow-motion, pointing it in his
direction and letting a jagged burst of energy lash towards him. He
sprang aside with trained reflexes, then launched towards the girl once
again, muscles tensed in reflexive postures.

Another bolt of energy forced him backwards, the force slamming against
his AT Field and making him land scant feet away from Rei's position.
The girl's eyes jumped to his position swiftly, and more blasts struck
out towards him, now moving like snakes, quick and curving paths
breaking the surface of the LCL ocean as Neil swung himself away. He
could only distantly notice the glow of the red-orange liquid as he
gathered his own power, forcing it into his voice as he let out another
roar.

A stream of energy jetted forth from his throat, lashing towards Rei
and slamming against an AT Field inches away from her. Neil cursed,
and Rei brought around another series of snaking tendrils, each glowing
with lethal intent as Neil flipped back and away from them. Something
in the back of his head told him that Third Impact was growing
perilously close, that he was running short on time to stop Gendou.

Gathering as much strength as he could, Neil let out a roar and charged
forward, feeling the muscles of his new and strangely familiar body
bulge underneath the action. His legs cleaved through the LCL without
hesitation, sending up great jets of the now-glowing liquid, and his
eyes burned with a fire intense enough to even seem to give Rei pause.
But she recovered her nerve almost instantly, and her hand pointed
towards Neil for only a moment before letting out a river of energy.

The AT Field held, and Neil pushed against the force, his hands
grasping at the golden golem. Rei was glowing now, the gold sparkling
brightly in the cacophony of light, the white surface of Lillith
seeming to melt into her body even as it spread towards her chest.
Roaring, Neil struggled, his whole existence pushing to break through
the force that held him even as he felt his feet slipping, his fingers
reaching out and clawing weakly at the girl's AT field, trying to find
a handhold.

It was too much, and the purple Eva went flying backwards, falling to
its back and skidding along beneath the glowing ocean of LCL. Neil
felt the scraping floor beneath him, and felt a moment of despair
before a fire of revenge started itself again within his gut. "Nieve,"
he hissed, feeling something jerk him to a stop. "I won't. I won't
fail. I won't let that happen."

Neil's hands flew to the object that had stopped his motion, assuming
that it was the wall, ready to pull himself up. His fingers closed
around a ridged and twirled shaft of red metal, and after a second of
confusion he closed his right hand around the object completely,
lurching to his feet while his hand remained beneath the surface. "I
understand now," he muttered. With a baleful stare at Gendou, he
pulled the great red spear from beneath the surface of the bloody
liquid, letting the LCL drip away from it for just a moment.

Even though Gendou was tiny in Neil's eyes, his shock was visible.
"The Lance of Longinus," gasped the doctor. "Rei, you must accelerate
Third Impact! Do not allow the First to attack you with that weapon!"

A sound like trumpets pierced the air for a third time, and Neil lunged
forward, his hands closed around the spear, the twin red prongs
pointing towards EVA-08. The blue glow of the Eva grew brighter, but
Neil ignored the snaking bursts of energy, running with all his might,
knowing in his soul that he had only scant seconds remaining to avert
the disaster that he knew would come. Focusing, he shoved his AT Field
outwards, letting it mingle with Rei's and dissipate, leaving both
machines exposed and vulnerable.

One spear of light stabbed through Neil's chest, another through his
gut, another through his arm. He froze for half an instant, but then
ignored it, letting himself keep moving, the pain burning and spurring
him onward as the wounds bubbled and closed. Rei's hand was clenched
into a fist now, and bolts pierced him left and right, slashing away
flesh and armor with alarming speed, slowing Neil's approach. "God is
coming," the girl said flatly, her eyes burning fiercely. "You will
not reach me in time."

Words were beyond Neil now, and he could feel his mind dissolving,
giving in to something far greater and older. Only the barest sliver
of fear remained, and he ignored it as he shoved the Lance forward, his
muscles straining against Rei's assault.

EVA-08's eyes widened, then went dark as the lance shattered the Eva's
armor, the great weapon pushing through its body and shoving it closer
to Lillith.

Neil could only distantly be away of what was going on, feeling a
burning storm of pain assault his skin as he pushed on the lance, the
twirled red metal untwirling into two shafts that continued through
Rei's body and into Lillith. Not until the spear had passed fully
through the Second Angel and the cross that it was on did it finally
stop, and with a last burst of strength Neil gave one last push,
cracking the cross and sending EVA-08 and Lillith into the glowing sea.

He stood for a moment longer, holding the spear downward, impaling Rei
and Lillith, before he felt the entire world bleed away into white. A
momentary picture of Rei standing naked in a field of light flashed
into his eyes, and he lunged towards her before everything shattered
into nothing.

]++[

"Energy buildup in Terminal Dogma has persisted!" shouted Makoto, his
fingers racing across the keyboard, beads of sweat flying from his skin
as he moved. "There's something approaching Central Dogma at high
velocity from beyond the atmosphere!"

"EVA-01's S2 organ is at full output! Synch ratio holding steady at
100%! No sign of activity from Unit 08!" Maya turned towards Ritsuko
with a panicked expression, obviously aware that something had gone
wrong. "Dr. Akagi, what are we -"

Ritsuko frowned for a second, then glanced towards Kozou, standing only
a few feet away. He nodded, and shutting her eyes she flung herself to
the gray metal floor. "Everybody, get down!" she shouted, putting her
arms over her head.

The tecnicians around her followed her movements, and a second later
the entire world seemed to turn upside down. Ritsuko could feel the
floor beneath her buck upwards and almost fling her off, her body
sliding across the slick floor into what might have been a wall, Maya
crying out in pain as her eyes snapped open once again. The entire
room was shaking in great, violent shudders, the alerts flashing on
even more intensely as the command level pitched forward.

"God," shouted Kozou, pulling himself to his feet as the force
subsided, trying his best to balance against the slope of the floor.
"Makoto! Maya! Get back to your stations! Makoto, pull up a display
of Lillith's chamber in Terminal Dogma on the main screen! Maya, try
to eject EVA-01's pilot!"

Clumsily, Ritsuko pulled herself to her feet, her heels slipping
slightly against the now-sloped floor. Glancing back and forth, she
could see Makoto and Maya trying to follow Kozou's orders, Makoto
holding his left arm close against his body, Maya limping slightly as
she braced herself against the computer console. "That's it?" she
asked Fuyutsuki, feeling a sharp pain in her right shoulder. "That's
the end?"

"Not yet," replied the elder man, staring grimly at the main screen.
EVA-01 was in spasms, its fingers clinging to the haft of the lance as
it fell to its knees, bolts of light racing across its body. "Gendou
managed to call God to Earth, but Neil took it from Rei. It's in his
hands now."

Before Ritsuko could ask another question, she felt the base shudder
once more, and she could see the force that ran along EVA-01's body
beginning to lash out intermittently. "This base isn't safe any more,"
she shouted, forcing herself not to feel the guilt bubbling at the back
of her mind. "Everyone, move towards the nearest functional exit and
try to reach the Geo-Front! Evacuate Central Dogma at all costs!"

]++[

Fish. That was what the world consisted of - fish.

His mind was too dull to comprehend anything beyond the existence of
the fish. They swam around him and apart, and he breathed and moved
through the dark ocean that had no color for him. A vague taste of
salt always clawed at his throat, and he could only sate it for a
moment by plucking out a fish and devouring it. The bones splintered
under his jaws, the flesh shredded, and the blood slid with it all down
his throat to his stomach.

None of it affected the pain in the abyss of his stomach, though he
could only dimly consider the fact that it should. All he knew was
that it was the way of things to reach out and snatch one of the fishes
with his appendages - he did not have names for such things - and eat
them. Names and logical thoughts were alien and foreign to them, and
though he sometimes felt as though they were important he ignored and
eschewed them.

All that he was certain of that reached beyond his existence in the
salty ocean was the fact that there was such a thing as a name, and
that he might have possessed one at one point. It was an important
concept, but he could not place it any more concretely than that. So
he swam and ate, ate and swam, circling around the chance that he might
have had a name to think of, and time passed.

It was not until he saw the light for the first time that the concept
of time even made sense to him. There was the ocean, and fish, and
that was that - nothing changed, not the dim light by which he saw, not
his hunger, not his strength. But when he saw the speck of something
different out of the corner of his eyes, he knew that there was
something unusual going on, something was happening. And once again
his brain registered the fact that a name was within him.

Thrashing his appendages, he moved himself towards the unknown object,
one that created the need for names. As he swam, he realized that
there had to be some way to distinguish, that the simple concepts of
"self" and "other" and "world" no longer sufficed to define
everything. It frightened him, but with no concept of fear he
continued, unaware that he should be given even the slightest pause in
his movement towards the unknown thing.

With steady motions, he moved about to observe the thing, confused. It
was similar to him, he could tell - the same appendages in the same
arrangement, though it lacked his magnificent skin and replaced it with
something ugly. Its jaws were different, face odd, but it was like
him, not the fishes - and as he realized this he knew that he was
different from the fishes, that there had to be something beyond the
ocean.

A trembling appendage reached out to touch the new thing's skin, and it
brushed against it lightly. Thoughts clustered in his head as if
trying to force their way through a small doorway, as if a river was
waiting just outside.

Color faded into the world, and the pink skin of the thing became
clear, the wide green eyes, the light yellow hair. And he could see
his own colors - the purple hand, the black forearm, the green bar that
proudly proclaimed name. "EVA-01 Test Type," he read silently, his
brain railing against the identification. "Neil."

Water turned deep orange, and Neil's hands flew to his head, feeling
the smooth surface of EVA-01's helmet, the ornamental horn, everything
that he knew all too well. "No," he whispered, moving back as the eyes
of his body flicked towards him. "This isn't my body. This... this is
EVA-01!" He turned towards himself, realizing with fright that he was
the same size as the other. "You!"

"Yes," replied Neil's double, smiling mischeviously. His hands jerked
out and grabbed the boy by the shoulders, and his mouth opened, the
teeth great jagged things of red metal, the jaw splitting open to
swallow Neil's body. Neil kicked and thrashed, then felt the teeth of
the double tear into him, pulling his body to pieces, the ocean
swirling around them -

"-NO!-" Everything exploded in a shattering of glass, and Neil found
himself standing atop a great mountain, clouds torn about its spire,
his body restored and his plugsuit tight against his skin. His breath
came quickly, and he fell to his knees, amazed by the view around him,
mind trying to puzzle out what had happened. Had he been within the
Eva again? Did he avert Third Impact? Where in the world was he?

A hand brushed against his shoulder, and he sprang to his feet, only
slowly becoming aware of his environment, the sheer amount of space on
what should have been a sheer peak. It was arranged almost like a
theater, clear space all around, with individual spires reaching
upwards as if remembering a removed peak. In the midst of it stood
Neil, and staring at him was Kaworu, a thin smile across the boy's face.

"Kaworu?" The name awkwardly tumbled past Neil's lips as he stared at
the boy, taking a step backwards, his eyes scanning the pale skin half-
hidden by thick brown robes. "Where are we? What in the world is
going on?" He paused, then frowned. "Are you really Kaworu?"

"If you like," replied the boy, stepping towards Neil and letting his
red eyes flash in the sunlight. There was an energy about them,
invisible but tangible, and it forced Neil backwards as light began to
stream into the bare peak. "My name is irrelevant."

Light was spilling in and growing in intensity, nearly blinding Neil,
his feet taking awkward steps backwards as Kaworu walked forward.
"What's going on?" he shouted, trying to make out the silhouette of the
boy as the light intensified. "Where am I? Is this Third Impact?"

"Perhaps." An odd echoing quality had seeped into Kaworu's voice, and
Neil had the distinct sense that the boy would soon vanish into a
flutter of light, the searing whiteness growing ever brighter around
them. "You know nothing of the Impact or of what has happened thus
far; why should you be concerned? Brought into life in dull ignorance,
so you shall be judged. So shall all of humanity be judged."

Judgement. The concept seemed to flip a switch in Neil's mind, and he
stopped retreating, finding that he was still being pushed towards the
edge of the mountain. "No," he commanded, trying to step forward,
feeling something shoving him backwards. "No! Judge me, but leave the
others alone!"

Crouching and springing forward, Neil reached his hands out for the now-
indistinct form of Kaworu, but the other boy raised an arm casually,
letting Neil slam against the octagonal surface of an AT Field.
Bounced backwards, Neil felt himself tumble through the air, then the
field slammed into him once again and sent him flying out through the
air above the sea of clouds.

The wind whipped around Neil's body as he was cast from the mountain,
the point of light on the peak growing ever more distant as he began to
arc downward once again. Panic rose in his gut, and he reached out
weakly towards the spire, wishing that he had some way to bring himself
closer once again.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw his other materialize in a beam of
light, clad in the same dull robes as Kaworu. "You!" shouted Neil,
trying to move towards the double as they fell along the same path.
"You're in control here! Help me! What in the world is -"

"I have no power here," replied the other as they plunged through the
clouds, the beads of moisture whipping against Neil's skin and suit for
a second before they broke through the cover into a storm of rain.
Beneath them sprawled a huge desert that seemed to reach forever, rain
driving towards it with anger. "Not with only half of myself."

"Then how do you complete yourself?" shouted Neil, feeling the ground
hurtle ever closer. "Tell me! We can't let him stay up there! Third
Impact - if we don't stop it, everything's going to die!"

Particles of water seemed to fall into slow motion around the pair as
the other turned towards him slowly. His mouth opened slowly, then
dissolved into a mass of LCL as the world around Neil jerked itself
into nothingness, washing away in great waves of the bloody liquid that
streamed across his vision, heat burning against his skin, handrests
against his palms, his body feeling oddly unfamiliar.

A sound of wrenching machinery filled the air, and Neil felt the
cockpit fly backwards, hurtling through the air and flipping end over
end, the LCL buffering the shock as it slammed down hard and continued
to tumble. Only when it had ceased moving completely did the liquid
spray out, leaving Neil alone in the cockpit to cough blood and LCL
onto the seat.

He was back in his previous clothes - a teal button-down shirt,
slightly loose jeans, sneakers, nothing unusual. They felt slightly
tigheter than before, but it seemed to be hardly worth noticing, and it
was only after a moment of silence that he decided to try and open the
hatch himself. Reaching up, he gave a slight push on the metal hatch,
and the curved metal moved away at the gentle force with hardly a
protest.

The sun struck him in the face as the hatch opened, and he
instinctively shielded high, thinking only afterwards that he should
have been still within Terminal Dogma. Pulling himself awkardly to his
feet, Neil felt a cool breeze wash across his skin as he looked around,
his green eyes wide with shock.

What was once the Geo-Front seemed to have had the top sliced off -
instead of the massive cavern it had once been, it was like a gigantic
bowl carved into the land, with Neil sitting at the center. Metal
fragments surrounded him, and he could see his Eva standing,
motionless, the Lance of Longinus still gripped tightly, its pale white
eyes staring hatefully down into the depths of the wreckage surrounding
it. The wreck stretched wide around, and at the edges were new pieces
of machinery that Neil didn't recognize, sectioning off his seeming
memorial from the tall white buildings that surrounded him.

Climbing weakly out of the cockpit, he jumped down on the loose pile of
metal shards, then his eyes widened as he noticed a teal-gray piece in
the wreckage, the unmistakable NERV insignia etched onto it. "This was
Central Dogma," he gasped, looking back towards EVA-01. "What - how
could all this have happened?"

As if in response, the chopping noise of helicopter blades filled the
air, and Neil glanced around for a second to see a small group of
angular green vehicles flying towards him, the same red NERV insignia
etched into their wings, twin rotors suspended above them as they swung
low towards him. He had only second to observe those helicopters
before he saw more people rushing towards him past the unfamiliar ring
of buildings surrounding the wreck.

Panic seized Neil in an icy grip, and he began moving towards the Eva,
unsure of what protection it could offer him but knowing that it had
responded to him at least once before. Glancing towards his pursuers
on foot, Neil saw the group more clearly - a red uniform leading a
group of black, distantly related to the familiar NERV outfit but a few
steps removed. The fear grew, and he moved more swiftly even as he
heard the steps behind him, the blades growing louder with every
passing second.

One step fell on a loose piece of metal, and Neil felt his legs give
out from underneath him, sending him falling upon the hard pile of
scrap. He pushed himself roughly to his feet in what seemed like an
instant, but by that point he knew he had no chance, and he felt a firm
grip on his shoulder spinning him around.

The red-uniformed officer was smirking, and with a smooth motion she
removed the beret that sat loosely upon her head, letting her short red
hair fall free and curl slightly underneath her chin. "We've been
watching you for long enough now, Third Child." Her arms folded across
her chest, over the small black badge that indicated her identity and
rank in the organization. "You didn't think we'd let you get away
again, did you?"

Neil's eyes widened. The uniform was unfamiliar, though he recognized
traces of Misato's - the bright blood-red color with golden piping, the
conservative skirt hovering just above the knees, the triangular zipper
lowered just enough to be suggestive. The woman, too, wasn't
familiar. But there was something in the twinkle of her green eyes
that spoke volumes about her, and Neil felt himself moving closer
despite himself. "Nieve?"

A single tear rolled down the Irish woman's cheek, and she lunged
forward to embrace Neil, her dry cheek nuzzling against his. "Thank
God," she whispered, pulling him as close as she could. "I missed you,
Neil."

]++[

Four huge, incomprehensible years had passed since the averted Third
Impact, and all the while the world had deified a hero that had been
thought dead and alive in turns. Neil was briefed on the whole
situation by Nieve in one of NERV's VTOL helicopters - as she put it,
the most convenient method of transportation, since even Niobe wouldn't
be able to keep the hordes of gawkers away. "They've spent every day
waiting to see you," she explained, looking through one of the small
cubic windows towards the ground. "I can sympathize."

It had been one revelation following another, and Neil had been silent
for most of the ride, only asking questions on the few occassions where
Nieve was speaking too fast to explain everything that she talked
about. He was still feeling uncomfortable in his body - he had no
sense of the massive time shift, and as far as he was concerned he was
not a twenty-year-old man. But it seemed to be beyond his power to
change, and he accepted it with all of the dignity he could muster.

Nieve, on the other hand, seemed radiant, and as the helicopter touched
down just outside the familiar old apartment building he couldn't help
but be amazed at the way that she'd grown into a radiant woman. The
winds swirled about her fine red hair, but she ignored it as she led
Neil off the helicopter, their feet touching down against pavement,
Neil's eyes flicking back and forth to see the mass of people held back
by blockades. "They're intent on seeing me, aren't they?" he asked,
feeling somewhat confused and jamming his hands in his pockets.

"Little chance of them getting through." Nieve smiled and winked, then
led Neil towards the building, the door opening to allow them both in.
"Niobe couldn't keep the whole city away from your path, but she could
keep the building fairly secure. I half-expected Eiko to try and slip
past her, but obviously she had better things to do."

"She's a reporter now, right?" asked Neil as he followed Nieve into the
whitewashed building, simply trying to keep everything straight. The
girl - no, she was a woman now - nodded, leading him towards the silver
doors of the elevators, past the doors leading to the laundry room and
the common area without hesitation. "She and Vash are the only ones
that aren't involved in NERV."

"Vash is peripherally involved, remember?" replied Nieve, the giddy joy
audible just beneath her voice as she pressed the button for the
elevator. "Liason between NERV and the Japanese government. And how
long have he and Eiko been married?"

Neil frowned, then shook his head. Nieve shrugged and laid a hand on
his shoulder, pulling him with her into the elevator. "It's a trick
question. They broke it off when she decided to go to college and he
took his post with the government." The elevator doors slid shut.
"But let's not talk about them."

Before the boy could say anything, Nieve's body was pressed against
his, holding him against the slick metal walls of the elevator, her
lips fumbling against his as her tongue brushed against his. Overcome,
Neil could only let himself be pinned against the wall, drinking in her
scent, the familiar odor of the girl mingled with the plastic scent of
the uniform. His hands embraced her tightly, his tongue returning her
affections, the kiss seemingly endless until the elevator dinged its
arrival.

A quick touch of his cheek, and Nieve was off, striding down the
hallway with determination, the sunlight streaming in from the windows
as she beckoned Neil to follow. He smiled distantly, then followed
behind the woman, watching her trace her way towards the same apartment
that he could still remember so clearly, even though she claimed it had
been four long years. It was surprising how similar everything seemed,
even with the changes that Nieve had described.

"Misato left it to me," she explained almost apologetically, turning a
key in the lock and letting it click open. "I just didn't have the
heart to leave, not after what happened. I suppose I would have gone
to work for NERV's Irish branch, but as it was there was nothing else
for it but -" She paused, then frowned at the boy. "Did I already
explain this to you?"

"Could have," replied the boy - no, just as Nieve was a woman, he was a
man, like it or not - as he stepped with her into the familiar
apartment, slipping off his shoes and kicking them to one side as he
had grown accustomed to. "I really don't know. Four whole years...
it's a lot to take in all at once."

"You've got other things to catch up on besides that," replied Nieve,
beckoning towards the living room as she walked swiftly, a smile of
obvious intent on her face. Neil blushed, then followed, something
vaguely disturbed tickling at the back of his mind.

The door to Misato's bedroom was open, and Nieve had unzipped the front
of her jacket, letting it hang open around her. Neil could see the
thin lace that caressed her skin beneath the jacket, and something
unseen gave him a push towards her, his hands reaching out to embrace
her. "You're beautiful," he whispered. "You always were beautiful."

"Neil..." The woman buried her head in his shoulder for a moment, her
thin hair tickling his chin. "I haven't been perfectly faithful, you
know. I've taken lovers... some for work, some not. It was just so
hard, waiting for you to come back, not knowing if you would." She
paused, then lifted her head and eyes to meet his. "Do you blame me?"

Smiling, Neil pressed his lips against hers once again, letting his
tongue dart out and meet hers, the comfort of her touch setting him at
ease once again. He only dimly understood what was going on, but he
had faith in Nieve to guide him, and if she had forgiven him he knew it
would turn out for the best. His words lingered on the tip of his
tongue as he pulled away, looking her in the eye, mouth half-opening to
speak.

Then he froze. A shadow, almost invisible, moved across her eyes, and
Neil felt something within him stir violently. "You're not Nieve," he
whispered, releasing the woman and staggering backwards.

The woman watched him, confused at first, then seemingly unconcerned,
her arms falling loosely to her side. In horror, Neil watched as the
emerald of her eyes seemed to bleed out, replaced by a blood red to
match her uniform. "No," she replied, her hair beginning to shift hues
as well. The voice was familiar, but it was not Nieve's.

"Rei," gasped Neil, taking a step backwards as he felt the alien
quality of his body evaporate. A quick glance told him he was once
more sixteen, and he began moving backwards more swiftly as Rei
approached. "How are you -"

"We were created as vessels," Rei said flatly, lunging towards Neil,
her featues seemingly superimposed over Nieve's. He tumbled aside,
moving back into the kitchen as she recovered from the missed lunge.
"Ryo, the Evas, and I... all were meant to be vessels for God to come
into this world. Gendou planned every step of it."

"Good Lord. Third Impact isn't over." Neil's eyes flashed with anger,
and he stepped into the kitchen as Rei drew herself up once again.
"Where are we? What's going on? You set this whole thing into motion,
you must know how to stop it!"

Nieve's body was beginning to melt into the younger form of Rei, the
robust but slender limbs being replaced with Rei's thinner and more
willowy appendages. "God comes to Earth to judge. The Lance of
Longinus calls him. That was what the council wanted from the
beginning." She lunged towards Neil once again, moving as if she was a
marionette, and once more the boy moved clear or her. "But Gendou knew
that it would bring no peace. He knew that morality had to be purged
from this world. There is no right or wrong."

Rei's hands flew towards the first drawer she could find, tugging it
open and drawing forth a pair of knives. Neil's blood ran cold, and he
gritted his teeth as he caught a flash of light out of the corner of
his eye. "How did you intend to do that?" he asked, eyeing the girl
with caution.

"The vessel. Ryo, myself, and the Eva - blank templates to absorb and
channel God, instead of calling him." She lunged towards the boy with
the knives in motion, nearly slashing through his sleeve. "But you
disrupted everything. You called God from us into yourself. He must
be returned."

Another stab lashed out towards Neil, and instinctively he raised an
arm, feeling the sharp metal of the knife bite into his skin even as he
saw the walls around him melt into nothingness. "No," Rei said firmly,
stabbing towards him with another knife even as he grabbed her wrist.
The knife went wide, and Neil shoved the girl backwards, disarmed and
separate from him. Her clothes now hung loose around her, but she
seemed to barely notice. "You will not escape me, not now that you -"

Without another word, the girl's body burst into LCL, and the room
melted into a pure field of light as Neil tugged out the knife from his
arm. The wound bled for a moment, then seemed to seal over itself, and
with a relieved sigh he discarded the weapon into the nothingness.
"Third Impact hasn't ended," he muttered, glancing around the light,
trying to find some kind of guide. "She said that she and Ryo were
supposed to be a vessel for God... I've got to figure out what the hell
they're talking about. It can't actually be... God."

"So certain?" The voice of the other was mocking as Neil whirled to
face him. He was still clad in the dark robes from before, but the
Lance of Longinus was slung across his shoulders, his arms holding it
in place as if it was a feather weight. "You presume much to know the
ways of a deity."

"Don't try to mock me," replied Neil, stepping towards his double
resolutely. "NERV is all about science. It's about understanding the
Angels and the Second Impact. We might be dealing with things beyond
human comprehension, but they're just -called- Angels."

"Oh? You know nothing, Neil. You didn't even know what the Third
Impact was until you were told." A sinister grin spread across the
face of the other as he slung the spear off of his shoulders. "Who
named them Angels, Neil? Who began all of this? It was the same
organization that you fight against now. NERV, Gehirn, SEELE... call
them whatever you want. They were devout then, and they are devout
now."

Neil's eyes went wide at the concept, but he shook his head even as he
felt icy winds begin to bite into his skin. There was snow beginning
to whip through the air as the light faded, and Neil could feel the
chill. "How would you know any of this?" he asked. "Who are you?"

"Your fairy godfather. Whatever I am, Neil, that's beside the point."
The other boy smiled and leveled the great red spear at him even as the
landscape became clear, the barren fields of Antarctica. "I'm not on
trial here. I'm not even the judge. You're the one under examination,
and you need to stop stumbling around and get to the heart of the
matter."

"Examination...?" A light was growing in the skies, and Neil could see
the form of something female hurtling down from the atmosphere. Though
he knew he remained in the same spot, he could see her more clearly -
gargantuan, white as a bone, holding the great twined red spear that he
remembered so clearly. And he could see her destination, recognized it
even without the armor. Involuntarily, he gasped.

"Lillith was called. Humanity's trial began. They were to produce
their best and brightest in this era, to overcome obstacles and serve
the will of God." The double smiled as Neil felt himself hurled back
into his place. "But Ikari found a way to cheat the process. Shame
that it's backfired on him. Now you're in control of the whole thing,
and I have to say that I don't think you're up to it."

For a moment, Neil gaped, then he frowned and lunged towards the
double, stepping away from the spear's tip even as he shoved it away.
"You got me into this!" he shouted. "You're the one that gave me
control of the Eva when it was shut down, when I should have just sat
there."

"And I was to know that you would use the Lance without thinking? I
was to assume that you would take things so thoroughly into your own
hands?" The double smiled, then let his lance drop. "Irrelevant.
Face yourself, Neil. I suppose there's nothing else for it. Look,
it's starting."

The meaning of the words was lost on Neil for a moment before he saw a
great pillar of light erupt into the sky, spreading into the shape of a
cross as the shockwave expanded and consumed. In a drift of snow, the
double vanished, and Neil could do nothing but watch as the Second
Impact played out before his eyes, the pure force washing over him and
sending daggers of hate through his mind.

]++[

"God DAMN it, Neil!" screamed Nieve, pulling with all her strength
against the slowly yielding remains of her restraints, feeling the hard
pressure on her arm as she struggled for freedom. Then another shock
rocked the world around her, and she felt her arm burst free, provoking
a shout of triumph. Smiling as she flexed the newly-freed arm, she
disengaged the remaining restraints from her body, awkwardly climbing
free as she surveyed the room.

It had fallen at least seven levels, metal twisting beneath them as the
base seemed to fall apart around them. The only visible exit was the
wrecked hole that Neil had made earlier - the doors were jammed shut by
wreckage, and Nieve could still see traces of dark red blood that
trickled in from that mass of wreckage. "All right," she announced,
glancing at the other Children and Misato. "Everyone still conscious?"

Weak nods came in assent, and giving a replying nod Nieve set about
undoing Misato's restraints, letting the woman step down and wordlessly
signaling for her help. Between the two of them, it was only a matter
of a minute before the Children were freed from their constraints,
though Niobe hung loosely in Misato's grip, obviously still strained by
the act of walking.

"Central Dogma is falling," announced Ryo flatly as he looked around,
his eyes peering out over the twisted masses of metal that had once
been the familiar teal-gray corridors of the base. "We need to get out
of here right away. Third Impact... it will kill us, this far from the
center of operations."

"Are you serious? Neil is still down there?" Nieve's voice was
frantic, her eyes flicking between the other Children, obviously
searching for support. "We can't just leave him alone! He's fighting
for us! We've got to try and reach the hangars, and -"

"No way of knowing that the Evas will even be working if we get there,"
replied Ryo, shaking his head firmly. Something authoritative had come
over him, as though he was finally sure of himself in the midst of the
chaos. "Gendou disabled all of them, I would imagine. EVA-01 is a
special case. Neil is on his own this time."

Nieve's eyes flashed again. She remembered the awkward pale boy that
had once seemed so caring towards her lover, and couldn't help but feel
a lump of bitterness forming in her chest. Closing her eyes for a
second, she turned towards the hole in the room. "Fine. Escape." Her
eyes snapped open in time to see another shattered piece of machinery
plummet down towards Terminal Dogma. "I'm going down there. I have to
go to Neil."

Misato's hand rested firmly on the girl's shoulder, and Nieve was ready
to shout a protest before she realized that the woman didn't look about
to scold. "All of you, get out of here," she said firmly. "Evacuate
as far from the Geo-Front as possible. Ryo, you should know the escape
routes well enough, even in this chaos." She paused. "Nieve and I are
going to Terminal Dogma. We have to."

Vash stepped forward, his blue eyes flashing as sparks of electricity
flew through the wrecked corridors and fell gently from the fluorescent
lights in their room. "I'll go with you," he said firmly. "Neil...
Neil's a friend. We all should go down and -"

"That was an -order-, Vash," snapped Nieve, staring the boy in the eye
for a moment. She could see a momentary anger pass across the surface
of his eyes, then it faded into acceptance, the first time that she
could remember seeing him back down. "You need to focus on getting
Niobe out of here. She still can't walk that well."

Nodding, Vash reached out to take Niobe, but she forced his hands away,
staggering into a vaguely stable standing position, but swaying as if
pushed by an unseen force. "I will walk out of here under my own
power," she said firmly. "I can do that much."

Ryo's eyes met hers for a moment, and stepping forward he took her in
his arms, ignoring her indignant squawk as he forced her to lean on him
for support. "Come on," he said, jerking his head towards the right as
Eiko and Vash approached the hole in the room. "We're probably low
enough now to try and reach one of the emergency access tunnels, but I
wouldn't count on it just yet. Step lightly."

The four Children disappeared down the hallway, leaving only Nieve and
Misato in the room, their eyes meeting in a brief and almost guilty
glance. "Any idea how to get to Terminal Dogma from here?" she asked,
glancing down the abyss that Neil had carved for himself. "I doubt
that any of the elevators are still working on this level, and it looks
like the others took the only viable path."

Misato looked down, then nodded to nobody, as if she approved of the
damage visited upon the facility. Removing her jacket, she knelt and
began slashing it upon the first shard of metal she could find, cutting
through the red fabric as sweat beaded across her brow. Nieve could
only watch as she tore it into four strips, holding onto a pair and
handing two to the girl. "The floors look like they can work as decent
ladder rungs for a ways," she explained, wrapping one strip around her
left hand. "Wrap those around your hands and follow me. And be
careful - this stuff can cut you."

"I'll lead," replied Nieve firmly, bunching the fabric around her hand
and stepping to the edge of Neil's tunnel straight down. Turning her
back towards it, she felt with her feet for the least jagged point,
then began her descent, her hands gripping the metal surface even as
she felt it shudder in her grip. "Hurry! This might not last much
longer!"

No sooner had the elder woman nodded and begun her descent than the
base rocked violently once again, a shaft of light piercing the metal
only a few feet away from where they climbed. The entire thing tilted
and groaned, and Nieve felt the world lurch into slow motion as she
lost her grip, fumbling for a second before falling backwards, Misato
following close after. They were falling towards Terminal Dogma.

Air whipping past her, Nieve felt panic sieze her as she glanced down,
seeing only brilliant red and white flashes that did little to
alleviate her concerns. "Out of my hands again," she muttered to
herself, feeling oddly disconnected as she fell ever closer, the teal-
gray being replaced with stark black only seconds before a great wave
of LCL burst up and swallowed her and Misato.

Her motion seemed to stop for a moment, then reverse, then turn back
towards the ground, as if unseen hands gripped and pulled her. There
were glittering specks all around her, obscuring her vision even as she
felt herself plunge deep into the liquid, her arms and legs kicking
fiercely to bring her back to the surface without even stopping to
think if there was a surface. Waves beat her back and down, and she
let out a silent cry as she burst back about the salty liquid, her hair
trailing behind her in a wet mass.

The LCL seemed almost to leap out of her lungs as she stared at Neil's
machine, its jaws hanging open, the entire body still seeming to force
down on the lance as if trying to drive it still deeper. Light poured
out of it, a green flicker from the eyes almost lost amidst the shafts
that filled the room. "Neil?" she whispered.

"It's no use," came Gendou's voice, now hoarse and defeated. Nieve
whirled her head towards the slim black walkway not far from her
position, beginning to swim towards it as she watched the commander.
"I've been trying to call to him all this time. He's already started
Third Impact inside of himself. Everything rests in Neil's hands."

Misato reached the platform first, climbing up and grabbing Gendou's
collar, yanking the man towards her as she slapped him. "What in the
hell do you -mean- it's in his hands?" she screamed, one hand clenching
tight enough around his collar for her knuckles to turn white, the
other waving frantically towards the Evas. "How do you -stop- this
Impact?"

"Silly woman. You -can't- stop the Impacts. They're out of our
control." Gendou was trying to retain his imperious air, but despite
all of the light flooding the room his glasses failed to reflect even a
bit of it. His thin eyes were entirely visible, and they were afraid.
"Rei, Ryo, and EVA-08... they're blanks. No morality whatsoever. They
were to give God a judgement to pass, to use his power to remove our
self-imposed shackles, to -"

"-Brainwash- the planet?" screamed Misato, gripping the man's collar
with both hands, whirling him around dangerously close to the LCL as
Nieve climbed onto the platform. "Tell me how to stop this, Gendou, or
I swear to God I will drown you long before you see the end of Third
Impact."

"It's LCL. Oxygenated." Gendou reached up and adjusted his glasses,
still looking pitiful in Misato's grip. "And if we could simply roll
back the clock and stop this, I would. But the only one in charge of
the process now is Neil." He sighed. "The only chance left to Rei is
to reassert her control over the process and finish our task."

"And what about -Neil-?" asked Nieve, trying to shake the LCL out of
her clothes and hair, painfully aware of her complete loss of control.
"What's going to happen to him?"

"No idea," replied Gendou flatly, his eyes flicking towards the Evas
and the Angel, visible through the light that crackled around them.
"The entire process was flawless, and he disrupted it. We were going
to free the souls of humanity, and now... Neil might well destroy us
all."

Cold cut through Nieve's skin, and she stepped hesitantly towards EVA-
01, the great golem's body still seeming to move despite its perfect
stillness. "Neil..." She could remember the pain on his face as
though it had been a second earlier, the way that he had gotten into
the cockpit with such grim acceptance. Words caught in her throat, and
all she managed was a small coughing noise before she fell to her
knees, eyes fixed on the glowing green eyes of his machine.

]++[

Maya and Makoto were still chanting off data from the pieces of
equipment they'd managed to salvage, shouting it to whatever officer
Kozou had delegated authority to. The old man didn't care. He had
seen Ritsuko wander away from the field that they had set up their
temporary base on, into the lush green woods of the Geo-Front. It
seemed to him that there was nothing else to do but follow her, to try
and say something to her, to let her know what he needed to tell her.

Despite the light spilling out of the shattering pyramid that was
Central Dogma, the woods were still surprisingly dark, devoid of life
but feeling alive as Kozou stepped into them. The trees almost seemed
to try and caress him with their branches as he moved through them, the
dark green leaves brushing against him as he walked. Any other time,
he would have appreciated the beauty of the artificial environment, but
now he was simply trying to find a needle in a haystack, passing
through branch and leaf with quick glances around, wishing that he knew
more about tracking others in the woods.

It wasn't until he heard the sharp intake of her breath that he finally
began heading in the right direction, through the underbrush towards
her. She had found a small clearing, not small enough for the canopy
to break significantly but large enough for her to sit down
comfortably. "We were worried about you," Kozou said awkwardly,
stepping towards her.

"How sweet." Her eyes were closed, now devoid of the eyeshadow that
she had always used. Kozou's eyes flicked to a small tissue next to
her, smeared with dark blue and red. "You don't need to worry about
me, you know. Third Impact is the priority. We have to... well, help
Gendou or hurt him, try to do something."

"You're the head of the technical department. You're the one who's
supposed to decide on these things." He knelt beside her, watching her
face carefully. "What do you think we should do?"

"Don't patronize me, Dr. Fuyutsuki. I know already." A small tear
beaded at the corner of her eye, but she shook her head with a quick
twitch, sending it flying off into nowhere. "The great, professional
Ritsuko Akagi is nothing more than a shallow teenage girl. Say it if
you'd like."

Her bitterness hit Kozou like a slap across the face, and he frowned,
edging slightly closer to her. "I didn't mean it that way," he said,
voice breaking slightly. "Don't put words in my mouth."

Ritsuko smiled bitterly. "We're not equals, doctor. You'd be right to
be unimpressed with me." The smile melted into nothingness. "I signed
away the world. I knew the burden that was on me and threw it all to
the wind for a chance to prove something utterly insignificant.
Whatever happens to me, I deserve far worse than this."

"That's not true. It wasn't your responsibility to stop this." Half a
word began to come from Kozou's throat, but it caught and refused to
budge, and he settled for simply sighing and trying again. "You did
everything right. Better than you had to."

"Like my mother, right? Of course I was. We're the exact same
person." A slow, hissing sigh escaped her lips between clenched
teeth. "I always thought the problem with her was that she felt all
the wrong things. I thought that if you just cut feelings out of the
equation..."

"I know." Again, the words caught in the old man's throat, and he
became acutely aware for a moment of how ridiculous he looked.
Shuddering a bit, he edged closer to the woman. "Ritsuko... I've had
the privelege to work with both of you. You're both brilliant women,
driven, self-aware... I would have loved to teach you. It's a shame
that I was already working for Gehirn when we met."

"Probably better you didn't teach me. I'd be disappointing you." She
sniffled, pulling her knees up closer to her chest. "What a sham I
was. And all the while I was calling Misato the imbecile..."

Kozou let his eyes shut for a moment, then reached out one hand to the
woman's shoulder, squeezing it just enough to draw her attention. Her
eyes opened, trembling under the intermittent light, beautiful blue-
gray orbs that seemed to lay her soul bare. "You did your best," he
said, feeling his words come out awkwardly. "I would be - I am - proud
of you."

"Thank you," whispered Ritsuko, her body trembling slightly. "Dr.
Fuyutsuki... Kozou... I just wanted... I didn't want another girl to
have to go through my mother... the way that she..."

Something snapped inside the man, and he reached over to Ritsuko,
drawing her close as her tears began to flow in earnest. "It's all
right," he whispered, drawing them both to their feet, light flashing
above into the pattern of a cross. "You're forgiven."

]++[

Yui's form was huddled into a small ball at the far corner of the dark
room, shuddering in the cold, her skin bare and almost radiant beneath
the lone light source. It took a moment for Neil to even realize that
she was there, another moment to full regain control of his body,
feeling the plugsuit clinging tight to his skin, the chill of the room
cutting past the thin fabric. Taking hesitant steps towards the woman,
he glanced about for something to voer her with, something to alleviate
her pain. "Yui?"

"I can't help any more, Neil," whispered the woman, her teeth
chattering. "I brought you the Eva. I pulled you back to the
machine. I've used all of my strength, and I've seen everything." She
shuddered. "I don't want to be a part of this any longer."

A connection drew through Neil's mind, and he crouched beside her,
placing his hand gently on her shoulder. "Yui Ikari. I never made the
connection." He sighed. "You know what Gendou's trying to do, don't
you? Instigating Third Impact?"

"Of course I know," replied Yui, shuddering enough to throw off Neil's
hand from her shoulder. "That was what we were trying for from the
beginning. Didn't you understand that?"

Neil said nothing, still kneeling beside Yui, looking at her
expectantly. "Yui, please. I don't know why you wanted to end the
world, but I need your help to stop this. You can't honestly think
that Gendou's doing the right thing now, not if you're seeing
everything. He wants to -"

"Brainwash everyone," replied Yui weakly, shaking her head, her brown
hair skimming lightly along the pale skin of her neck. "It's not what
we wanted. Maybe we were never really after the same thing. But..."
She paused. "I'm out of power. I don't have anything left to give.
Just leave me alone."

"Come on, Yui!" shouted Neil, grabbing her shoulders by both hands and
squeezing tightly. She let out a small yelp, but he didn't relent.
"Please... I don't want to hurt people any more. I'm trying to stop
this, but I need your help."

A bitter laughter cut through the chilled air, and Neil whirled around
to see Kaworu standing not far from him, still clad in the dark brown
robes from high on the mountain. His eyes no longer looked at all like
Kaworu's - a swirling mass of green and red, mingling and dancing back
and forth. "How can you say that you don't want to hurt people in a
situation like this?" he asked mockingly, stepping towards Neil,
letting his robes flutter around him.

Neil was already on his feet, and he glanced quickly down to make sure
that Yui was all right only to discover that she had already vanished.
It was only him and Kaworu in the room, a thought that filled him with
a crystal panic. "Who are you?" he asked, stepping towards the other
boy, feeling dangerously alone.

Kaworu didn't answer him, simply raised a hand, letting the empty room
wash away as if it had never been there at all. They stood instead
atop a tall building, hail falling around them, bouncing lightly off
Kaworu's AT field that shimmered in the absolute blackness around
them. "You're rather hypocritical, Neil. You do realize that, don't
you? You understand how much you truly hurt the people around you?"

Realizing immediately where they stood, Neil needed only to flick his
eyes towards the horizon to see the black form of EVA-03 approaching,
arms long and distended, the Angel's presence clear in his memory if
not from the golem's appearance. "This was something that had to be
done," he replied grimly. "Vash was trapped inside of an Angel. I had
to destroy the Angel to save him and everyone else."

"And you crushed the entry plug," finished Kaworu, stepping towards
Neil slowly. "Why did you do that, Third Child? You knew that the
Angel was destroyed. There was no need. No justification."

"I..." Neil let his eyes shut, his arms wrapping around his chest
unconsciously. "I lost control of the Eva. It went berserk, and it
crushed the plug on its own. There was nothing that I could do."

"Of course," replied the other boy, making no pretense about believing
him. "But that's not the important thing, and you know it. Even if it
had gone berserk... there's a reason that you were afraid when you were
coming back down to Central Dogma, wasn't there?"

"Go to hell," snapped Neil, eyes snapping open, flashing a brilliant
green as a blue-white stroke of lightning tore open the sky overhead.

"You knew that it wasn't important if the Eva went berserk or not.
Because you knew immediately that it hadn't done anything that you
didn't want it to." Kaworu's smile widened past the point that human
lips could sustain the grin, his eyes growing wider as his iris and
pupil shrank. "That's it, isn't it? You wanted Koji Nekasa to die.
Because even if it was by your hand, that meant that Eiko was -"

"Shut up!" shouted Neil, flinging himself at Kaworu and feeling a burst
of red anger as the AT Field held him back. His fists slammed against
the octagonal field, and his fingers began to dig against its surface,
trying to pry it open as he'd done before. "I did the right thing! If
I hadn't beaten the Angel, Gendou would have gotten me to do it some
other way!"

"How do you know? He never got the chance." Kaworu's smile spread
even more, and with a cry of anger Neil felt the AT Field surrounding
the white-haired boy crumble into dust. Without hesitation, Neil
brought his hands around the Kaworu-thing's throat, pulling his fingers
as tight as he could as the other boy flailed.

"You don't understand," he hissed. "You don't understand any of it. I
did the right thing. Even if my reasons were wrong, isn't it enough
that I did what was right?"

The thing in his hands smiled, then dissolved into LCL, running down
Neil's arms thickly, pooling at his feet as the world faded around
him. Wood replaced concrete, yellow walls replaced the dark expanse of
sky, light replaced darkness, shirt and jeans replaced plugsuit. Still
the LCL ran down the boy's arms, soaking through his shirt to the skin,
sending a shudder through his body as he glanced around.

Misato's apartment seemed empty, at once a welcome relief and a cause
for fear. Creeping towards the kitchen, he looked for the silverware
drawer, deathly afraid of being attacked once again. His feet made a
squishing noise as he walked to the drawer, flinging it open and
grabbing the first knife he could find, his hand wrapping tightly
around the handle.

"Quite the protector, aren't you?" The other's voice rang clear, and
Neil sprang to the ready, expecting the double to be wielding his spear
once again. This time, though, he wore the same clothes as Neil, no
knife or spear in sight, only a hateful glow in his emerald eyes.
"You're in an apartment, and you grab for a weapon. First instinct.
Why don't you admit to yourself what you are?"

"I -have-," snapped Neil, tears trickling to his eyes as he started
towards the double. "I'm a monster, remember? Anything that it takes
to save the world around me." His thumb shifted against the handle of
the knife, struggling to get in the best grip to stab with it.

Shaking his head, the double rushed forward, grabbing Neil's wrists
effortlessly, disarming the boy and flinging him away towards the
wall. Neil felt the hard impact of Nieve's door against his back, felt
the wood splinter as he slumped to the ground. "Stop trying to play
the martyr, boy," he hissed, crouching as he looked Neil in the eye.
"You know you love it."

"I..." Neil's vision swam as he tried to stand once again, and for a
moment he could see Nieve from the corner of his eye, inexplicably tiny
against an ocean of light, her hands gripped around something unnamed.
Then it faded, and he was back in Misato's apartment, now standing, now
with the same red dagger as before resting in his hand. "I don't! I
don't want anything to do with it! I don't have a choice!"

"Oh, the hell you don't. We all have choices, Neil. Be an adult and
accept that." The double smirked, then stood and lunged at Neil,
crashing into the boy and the door, sending both shuddering into
Nieve's room. It was pitch-black in the room save for shafts of
moonlight, tracing odd spots of the room as the double approached and
Neil struggled to ready himself. "It's your morals that keep you in
the Eva, not any kind of force. You could stop any time that you
wanted to."

The double rushed forward with his knife, eyes flashing with a tangible
light as Neil jerked aside. "I have to protect people!" shouted Neil,
dancing about the room as his double moved like a snake, lashing out
with the bright red weapon over and over, tracing thin paths through
the moonlight. "What kind of person would I be otherwise? How the
hell can I -"

"Be quiet, Neil. You don't protect people." The other's voice was
oddly dispassionate despite the maniac grin on his face, the frenzied
way he lashed out with the knife, sending Neil staggering around as the
world spun about. "Asking Yui to help you when she says she's got
nothing left? You know that she'd have to sacrifice herself to save
you? Or does this just not occur to you?"

"Yui -" Once again, Neil found himself cut short, his double dropping
him to the floor with a quick sweep of his leg, everything around him
losing focus. Blood swirled around his eyes, cloaking everything in
thick drops, the vague pattern of Rei's profile appearing in the
ceiling. His head slammed against the wood hard, and the other
straddled him, gripping the knife tightly and pressing the tips against
Neil's chest.

Neil let out a small gasp, and the other drew the dagger down Neil's
chest in a swift motion, snapping the buttons from his shirt and
provoking a thin red line of blood. Tossing the dagger casually over
his shoulder, the other bent over, touching his tongue against the
blood, smiling broadly.

Pain seared through Neil's bloodstream, forcing his body into quick
convlusions as if he'd been filled with liquid flame. The feeling of
the other's body against him shifted, but he barely noticed, reaching
down to the head, forcing his fingers to grip tightly, letting his
nails bite skin. "Get off of me!" he shouted, struggling as he heard
the slow noise of drinking, revulsion bubbling in his stomach.

With a wrenching force, he pushed the other off of him, forcing it into
a sitting position as Neil gasped. Nieve was kneeling before him,
naked, blood smeared across her lips, a suggestive smile playing across
her face. Her lips parted slightly, and a dribble of LCL followed,
dripping along her body with slow deliberation. "Is this what you want
to see, Neil? This girl?"

It was the other's voice, and a cold sweat came across Neil as he felt
the soft touch of another hand on his cheek. Flicking his eyes towards
the source, he saw Eiko and Misato crouching beside him, both naked,
the same smile on their lips as on Nieve's. "What about the other
girl? Or the woman? You want all three of them, don't you? Think you
have some sort of right to have them?"

"-Stop-!" Neil snapped, forcing Nieve off of him, sending her tumbling
to the floor as he pulled himself to his feet. Eiko and Misato reached
out and grabbed at him, holding his wrist and waist even as he tried to
run, Nieve slowly raising to her feet. "What the hell are you trying
to -prove-?"

"That you're an idiot," replied the voice, now coming from nowhere and
everywhere at once. The room dissolved into blood, but the women
remained, holding Neil in place, drawing him closer. Nieve's fingers
were slowly easy across the waist of his jeans, tickling at the zipper
casually. "You enjoy hurting them, don't you? Especially this one?"

Grunting, Neil tore himself free, shoving Nieve to the ground, now the
cold metal floor of Central Dogma, fluorescent lights casting her
nudity in an unflattering light. "I stopped hurting Nieve!" he
screamed, running down the corridor, glancing over his shoulder quickly
to see the trio catching up with him. "I tried not to hurt her! I did
the right thing!"

"How long do you plan on hiding behind that excuse?" Neil's eyes
flicked back to the end of the corridor to see another trio waiting for
him, moving towards him casually. "You hurt her, and yet you stayed
with her because it hurt her more. You hurt her again by leaving her
behind. No matter what you do, you cause her pain."

"It's not my fault!" shouted Neil in response, holding his arms above
his head and slamming through the line of women, slowing only slightly
as he hurled himself down another corridor. He could hear the slap of
bare skin on metal as the pursuit continued, sending a dagger of fear
through his chest.

"'Not your fault,' indeed. What's not your fault, Neil? The fact that
you hurt the people around you no matter what you do?" He could see
the outlines of more women in front of him, and glancing behind himself
he knew that there were still more following him. "You don't want
responsibility, that's all. But you're more than willing to take their
affections, aren't you? Would take all of them if you thought you
could get away with it?"

The boy never had a chance to answer as he felt a wave of naked skin
wash into him, hands running along every part of his body, his clothing
seeming almost to melt away. Misato, Nieve, and Eiko writhed around
him in numbers almost imperceivable, and he could see them licking
their lips, saw the hints of pointed teeth beneath their lips, the mark
of hunger. A wave of mixed joy and pain washed over him, and it was
all he could do to scream and struggle as his limbs lost feeling...

]++[

"Neil." The voice was curt without being hateful, and Neil slowly
opened his eyes, the haze of darkness slowly lifting to reveal rolling
green hills around him. They stretched off into the horizon to meet a
field of perfect blue sky, no speck of clouds to stand between the
hills and the high sun in the sky. Blinking slowly, Neil stood,
looking around to find the source of the voice.

Rei stood only a few feet away, a white robe blowing around her body in
a gentle breeze, the fabric too thin to concel her body beneath. Neil
felt the same clothes on his body as he recoiled from the girl,
balancing on the balls of his feet as he glanced around for some kind
of weapon. "What do you want?"

"You," replied Rei, stepping towards him gently. A thin smile drew
across her face, her eyes glittering in the sunlight as she reached
towards the boy. "I don't want to fight you, Neil. Not any more.
We're both Children; we should be working together."

Hesitating for a moment, Neil continued stepping backwards, his feet
bare against the tickling blades of grass. Rei seemed unconcerned,
still walking towards him, her arm painfully white against the bright
light of the sun. Biting his lower lip, Neil stayed in place for a
moment, then reached out and took her hand, the soft chill of her skin
surprising him.

Surprisingly enough, the girl's lips split into a true smile as she
looked up towards the sun, still walking closer to Neil. "I knew that
you'd understand," she whispered. "You were the only one who tried to
reach me, you know. Everyone else ignored me."

"We don't have time to talk about that," replied Neil, half-expecting
the double or Kaworu to materialize in front of him. "I have to stop
Third Impact. It must still be going on... there's still time to keep
it from happening, to keep Gendou from -"

"Maybe there isn't," replied Rei calmly, drawing Neil close to her with
surprising strength. Her skin was softer than feathers, carrying the
slightest chill about it, the deep scent of blood mingled with
perfume. "We weren't outside when the Impact began. Perhaps we'll
never be able to return."

The thought hadn't occurred to Neil, but as he stared into Rei's eyes
he felt something tug within him. Closing his eyes, he struggled to
find some way of knowing how much time had passed, whether or not he'd
already failed in his task. Releasing Rei's hand, he pulled away,
sinking to his knees against the soft grass, breathing in deeply. "Do
you really believe that?" he asked reluctantly, bowing his head forward.

"I have no way of knowing." She paused, then he heard the soft rustle
of plant and robe as she sat down beside him. "It may be best if we're
removed from the equation, however. We don't need the world to live a
perfect life here, inside of our Evas."

Neil's eyes opened again weakly, the scent of the girl beside him
drifting into his nose once again. "I failed again," he whispered,
shaking his head. "The last chance I had to really do something right,
and I... I screwed it all up again."

Rei place her hand gently on Neil's shoulder, but she didn't notice his
hands clenching into fists, his brow furrowing in anger. Letting out a
shout, he sprang to his feet and flung himself forward, flying in the
open air for a moment before tumbling down the gently rolling hill, the
earth soft enough to cushion his fall, world spinning around in passes
of green and blue. Resting on his side, he pulled himself back to his
feet once again, crying out in rage, clenching his fists tight enough
for his knuckles to go white, falling to his knees and slamming his
hands against the ground.

Tears formed in his eyes, and he distantly felt Rei approaching from
behind him as the slow drops of water fell from his eyes, splattering
against the white robe that clung to him. "I can't do anything right,"
he hissed, feeling the futility of his rage with pained clarity. "I
knew that I was a monster, but I... I can't even -try- to do anything
good. It always goes wrong."

A soft pressure against his back let him know that Rei was there, and
he shuddered slightly as the chill of her skin cut through his own,
expecting a warmth to accompany the soft touch. "It's all right,
Neil," she whispered, rubbing her cheek against the back of his head,
her arms encircling his shoulders. "We're not in that world any
longer. You don't have to worry any more."

"Of course I do. Rei... some things are just right, and some things
are just wrong. What Gendou wants - wanted - to do... it wouldn't
change that fact." He sighed. "People would still die, feel sorrow,
try to come to terms with things, have limited resources... morals are
a part of human life."

"No." The soft pressure against the back of Neil's neck didn't
register as a kiss until a second afterwards, and he felt a hot flush
run through his face. "We impose it on ourselves, but we don't need
it. Don't you think that people are basically good? What do you think
would be corrupting them if not morals?"

"I... I don't know. I don't know anything." Neil sighed, the tears
slowing. "Rei... I don't know what you want from me. I don't know
what you're expecting me to do. But you shouldn't rely on me to do
anything right, not when I -"

"Shh," whispered the girl, lifting herself away from Neil's back,
leaving him mometarily confused before he felt her pulling him down,
forcing him to lie flat against the grass, staring into the sky for
only a second before she lay on top of him. "You can't do anything
that's wrong. There is no right or wrong. Who's to say to us that
we're doing anything wrong, in our own little world?"

There was something odd in the girl's voice, but Neil didn't feel the
same clawing at the back of his soul that the other's presence gave
him. He began to think about what it might be, but before he had the
chance Rei had already pressed her lips against his, letting her small
pink tongue dart out to part his lips. Again the oddity of her actions
struck him, but he hardly had the energy to fight any longer, and so he
simply answered her kiss in kind.

"Anything that you want, I can be," she whispered. Her voice sounded
heady with emotion, and Neil's eyes widened slightly to see the genuine
desire rolling across her bright red eyes. "I'll be your woman, you'll
be my man. We'll make a wonderful land here, where nothing hurts any
more."

Exhaustion was seeping through Neil like water through cloth, and his
eyes began to drift closed as he felt Rei move on top of him, the pain
of the earlier moments passing from him effortlessly. Perhaps it was
best that he couldn't go back - he'd never have accomplished anything
anyways. At least here he could be with Rei, be free of doing things
wrong. "Nice," he whispered, the girl's body shifting to an upright
position on top of him, a smile tracing across his face as he felt her
hips lock around his waist.

"You don't actually believe that, do you?"

It was the other's voice, whispering in his ears and jerking him to
attention, his eyes flying open and his arms raising reflexively.
Rei's arm shuddered to a stop as his fingers wrapped around her wrist,
her hand clenched tightly around the familiar red dagger, her eyes
flashing with anger at the sight of the boy.

Giving a small noise of frustration, Rei tried to force the dagger
down, but Neil pushed upward, forcing her back off of him, his free
hand clutching at her hand and struggling to release the dagger from
her grasp. "You're going to ruin everything," she snarled, struggling
to pull her hand clear, the grass around them growing darker. "You're
causing the same judgement we were trying to avoid. You have to let
go, -now-."

Neil had no words to respond, and so he simply gave one final jerk and
pulled the dagger free, letting the red weapon fall to the ground for
only a second before scooping it up. "Third Impact is still going on,
isn't it?" he asked, voice harsh, the sky darkening and casting long
shadows across his face. "How do I stop it? Damn it, how do I reverse
the process?"

"You -can't-," snapped Rei, her arm pulling free as drops of rain began
to fall. "That's what you don't understand. We can't simply stop this
from happening. It's -done-. Even if we had done nothing, it would
have happened -eventually-. All that we can hope to do is alter the
outcome, and that's what you're denying us." She let out a slow hiss
of breath, her robes slowly solidifying into her plugsuit. "Do the
right thing, Neil. Give me control over this. Let me save us."

"Brainwashing everyone isn't salvation!" snapped the boy, staggering
away from her, the grass now dry and cracking underfoot, sky slowly
unleashing the water it contained. "I've got to find a way - there's
got to be -something- that I can do to stop it!"

Rei scoffed. "By your own admission, everything you do turns out
wrong. You can't stop this. Neither can I. Give me that knife and
let me have the chance to save us. It's the best that we can hope for."

"I don't accept that!" shouted Neil, steadying the dagger in his hand
and waving it as menacingly as possible, his eyes flashing at Rei.
"I... I'll figure something out! Damn it all, if I give up now it's
pointless!"

The girl frowned, then lunged towards him. Without thinking, Neil
thrust the dagger forward, the twin points flickering in the dimmed
light before they pierced Rei's chest. Blood spurted from the wounds,
splattering against Neil's face, along his arms, a small trickle coming
from the corner of Rei's mouth as it shifted into a small O of
surprise. It took Neil a moment to even realize what he'd done, his
eyes slowly focusing on Rei as her blood spilled forth.

A chocking gurgle came from her throat as she struggled to say
something, one hand raising and trying to reach towards Neil, and the
landscape around them filtered away to LCL. His body went half-
transparent, the dagger vanished, but he could see her slumping against
the seat of her entry plug, two pinprick wounds just above her heart
exhaling clouds of blood into the cockpit around her, the light going
out of her eyes.

"No." He shook his head as the picture faded, leaving him standing
atop the mountain once again, alone amongst the great spires of stone.
"That - that's impossible. I can't affect anyone in the real world
from here, I know it. It's just a trick, just like before. Rei's
still alive, she has to be."

Fluttering light coalesced into the shape of the other once again,
still clad in flowing brown robes. "It doesn't really matter if you
killed her or not, does it?" he whispered, kneeling beside Neil. "You
know that you wanted to kill her. That was your first instinct. Just
like it was your first instinct when Vash was -"

"GO AWAY!" screamed Neil, staggering away from the other, tears pooling
in his eyes once again. "I... even if I might fail... that doesn't
mean that I..."

"That you can't do anything good," finished the double, invisible to
Neil now, the light around them fading to nothing. "You're simply
incapable of it. You try to do right, and you do wrong; you try to do
wrong, and you do wrong." A pause. "Perhaps you're right. Perhaps
there's no point in trying any more. All that happens is that you
fail. Perhaps you truly are simply evil."

Neil was distantly aware that the other was gone, but he didn't care,
falling to his knees and sobbing, then falling forward, hands propping
him up on all fours. His tears fell to an alien and unrecognized
floor, but he didn't care, lost in his thoughts and his guilt.
Choking sobs wracked his body, and thoughts of Third Impact faded from
mind as the darkness permeated about him.

]++[

"Second corridor on our right!" shouted Ryo, running as best he could
with Niobe hanging off his shoulder, Vash and Eiko close on his heels.
Another shudder tore through Central Dogma, white light lancing up and
obliterating a small portion of the corridor that they had been in
moments before. Fluorescent lighting in the hall flickered and died
intermittently, but Ryo knew enough of the base to make his way without
it. "This tube's designed to withstand almost anything! It should be
intact!"

The other Children didn't answer Ryo, as he'd expected. Pulling and
pushing Niobe along in equal degrees, the pale boy hurtled towards
their destination, red eyes flicking around to make sure that the base
around them remained intact enough to keep going. They'd already been
to two evacuation areas and found them impassable, and a cold dread was
slowly forming in his gut at the thought of this one being cut off as
well.

As he rounded the corner, Ryo breathed a sigh of relief, seeing the
hallway mostly intact, the round port at the end unspeakably welcome.
"Vash! Eiko! Come here!" He let go of Niobe, letting her lean
against the wall as he ran to the port, hearing another shuddering
blast tear more of the base apart.

Ignoring the noise, Ryo rushed to the circular port, wedging his
fingers into the thin grips embedded in the surface, putting all of his
strength into twisting the hatch. It was a moment before Vash came up
beside him, lending his strength to the task, grunting slightly as it
began to give. "Don't make these things easy to open, do they?" he
asked, a grimace passing over his face, the base shuddering from the
force of another blast.

"Not meant to be opened casually. We'd be evacuating with the rest of
NERV in theory." A thin layer of sweat glazed Ryo's forehead as the
hatch continued to twist at a glacial speech, then finally gave a
satisfied groan and wrenched free, falling to the floor as Ryo and Vash
released it. "All right! Eiko, you first!"

Acting without question, the girl rushed into the exit without
hesitation, slipping herself in and letting her body be carried out by
the smooth surface. Ryo moved swiftly over to Niobe, helping her to
his shoulder as Vash climbed halfway in. "Stay there," snapped Ryo,
his eyes flicking back and forth for a moment, nerves on edge with the
constant shuddering of the base. "We'll need to work together to get
Niobe into the tube."

Leaning against Ryo, Niobe could feel the self-loathing bubble inside
her stomach, limping weakly towards the port with him. He was doing so
much, and she... she'd proved him right in the end after all. "Every
chance I get," she whispered, shaking her head weakly, casting her eyes
away from Vash.

Everything pitched into slow motion as the space between the exit and
Niobe exploded into a shower of white light. She could see Vash pushed
down by the force before he even had a chance to react, could see the
metal flying upwards as the corridor pitched wildly, could feel Ryo's
hands circle her and push her back. The world became a blur of light
and metal, sending her to the floor, sliding along in pain as she tried
to regain her bearings, head hitting the metal hard and nearly stunning
her into unconsciousness.

Wincing, Niobe shook her head and forced herself up on her arms, her
eyes flying towards the corridor that she and Ryo had stood in moments
earlier. Most of it had been torn away now, replaced by a gaping hole
of jagged metal, cutting off any path to the emergency exit. Ryo lay
crumpled against the floor, motionless except for obviously labored
breathing, his legs dangling out over the gap as his hands clutched at
his side.

Niobe's eyes widened as she realized that he wasn't unhurt - his hands
were clenched around a shard of teal-gray metal, blood welling around
his fingers as he tried to stumble to his feet. "Ryo!" she shouted,
struggling to pull herself towards him as the base shuddered once
again, sending him a little closer to the hole. "Are you all right?"

"It's not that deep, but it needs medical attention," he replied
grimly, releasing one hand and placing it firmly against the floor,
trying to push himself up but failing. "I don't know how much blood
I've lost from it, though I'm not dizzy yet." He paused. "I don't
think I can pull myself up."

The base shuddered once again, sending Ryo slipping closer to the hole,
his waist scarcely clear of it. Niobe let out a shout involuntarily,
and Ryo's eyes flicked to the pit for a moment before looking back at
her. "You've got to try and crawl to safety," he said flatly, wincing
in pain. "The walls seem to be the safest places to be... if you think
you can reach the hangars, get in the entry plug and stay there. I
can't help you to -"

Another shudder tore through the base, and Ryo slipped a bit further.
Niobe was seized with panic, and tears brimmed into her eyes as she
buried her head on the floor, unable to watch any longer. "Damn me,"
she whispered, sobbing weakly. "I could pull him up. Every single
time I have the chance to succeed, I..."

Once again, the base shuddered, and Niobe felt a sudden rush of
adrenaline move through her, borne of anger and desperation and a
simple exhaustion with crying. Her eyes narrowed, and placing her
palms flat against the floor she pushed her upper body up, placing her
legs firmly beneath her. "I'm not going anywhere without you," she
snapped, drawing herself up to her full height, ignoring the trembling
in her legs.

"Don't do it!" shouted Ryo, wincing in pain once again, his eyes
watching each trembling step the girl took. "Niobe, you don't have the
strength for it. Please, get somewhere safe, if not for yourself than
for me."

Niobe ignored him, still walking as resolutely as possible towards him,
forcing herself against the wall as the base shuddered from another
impact. Her legs threatened once again to give way, but she drew in a
deep breath and walked to him, clenching her hands into fists as she
reached down. "Take my hand, Ryo."

The boy made no movement, obviously hoping that she'd give up the
effort. He was obviously struggling not to fall, his legs tucked in
close and barely keeping him in place. Grimacing, Niobe knelt and
seized him tightly, then let out a cry of determination and pulled
hard, forcing her legs to tug with her as the base shuddered once again.

For the barest moment, Niobe felt that Ryo was right. She could feel
her legs giving out from underneath her, feel the weight of the boy she
held pulling her down towards the fatal abyss. But she held tightly,
not relenting for a moment, her voice scratching her throat as she
howled in defiance at the sky. In that moment she didn't have the
words to scream that she wouldn't fail, that she would make herself
succeed even if it killed both of them, that there was no way in the
world that she would back down at her last chance.

Then she felt herself move backwards, away from the pit, and she felt
Ryo's body move with her. The boy made a small noise of pain, but she
ignored it, forcing herself to pull him further, keeping her legs
moving in steady patterns, pulling him along even as the base continued
shuddering, until the tips of his feet were safely within the hallway.

Gasping, Niobe collapsed to her knees for a moment, panting hard and
staring down at Ryo. Their eyes met, and even though she couldn't know
she knew that her own eyes were strong once again, that she was
displaying her triumph proudly. Ryo's lips parted halfway, visibly
amazed, almost seeming on the edge of tears. "You..."

"We're not safe here," she said firmly, pulling herself to her feet
once again, then pulling Ryo up with her. "Is there another emergency
exit, or are we out by now?"

Ryo didn't respond for a moment, then he shook his head. "There's a
couple left that I can remember. If we leave this corridor and head
straight for a little while, we should hit one." He paused, then
flicked his eyes up and down her body. "Can you walk?"

Her legs were screaming for release, trembling like grass in a
hurricane. A vague dizziness had crept into her skull, and she could
feel tears still blurring her vision, helped little by the darkness of
the corridors. "Absolutely," she replied firmly, turning away from the
lost exit. "Which way?"

]++[

LCL dripped quietly around Neil as he wept, the droplets making small
pinging noises against an unknown floor. In the back of his mind, he
could feel voices screaming at him to stand, to move forward, that
Third Impact needed to be averted, but he could barely muster the
willpower to draw breath, much less to draw up from his knees, to move
his hands away from his face.

He had failed. At everything. It was diriving through his chest
relentlessly, spasms of guilt and self-loathing keeping him immobilized
save for the steady shudders of crying. Every good thing that he'd
tried to do had gone wrong somehow, and every thing that wound up going
right he'd done for all the wrong reasons. He was a bloodthirsty
monster, filled with hate, unable to do anything but destroy. "If I
try to stop the Impact, I'll only make things worse," he whispered.
"And now Rei's dead. Rei can't take it over... God, I should have
listened to her when she told me... when she tried..."

Choking sobs cut his words short, and he trailed off into a loud wail,
feeling his voice fling out into the impossibly huge room, seeming
almost to make him smaller with each passing moment. Tears blurred his
vision into nothing, and his body pitched forward, forehead hitting the
cold metal roughly, the dark seeming to pierce his skin and begin to
infest him. It hurt, but he knew that it was his time, that he had to
give it up. He was too steeped in blood to accomplish anything further.

"Neil." The voice was soft, caring, but Neil was too lost in himself
to hear it, barely even noticing as gentle hands pushed him into an
upright positiong. "Neil. Neil, listen to me. Please."

Forcing down another sob, Neil weakly tried to brush away the tears
from his eyes, only distantly aware of a blue and white figure in front
of him. The figure reached to his eyes and wiped them clear, and as
his vision cleared Neil recognized the proto-plugsuit, the white lab
coat, the maternal and caring face. "Yui," he whispered, feeling more
tears coming on. "I've been hurting you too, haven't I?"

Yui said nothing, simply knelt beside Neil and embraced him tightly,
resting his head on her shoulder, her fingers running through his
hair. The tears came again, but weaker now, and he could feel the room
around him begin to fade into focus. "Poor boy," she whispered.
"You've been thinking that all along, haven't you?"

"Because it's true," he replied, lacking the strength to rage. "I hurt
everyone around me just by being near them. That... that's who I am.
Small wonder the Eva responds so well to me."

"Wrong again," snapped the harsh voice of the double, somewhere from
behind Yui, outside of what little Neil could see around him. The boy
surppressed the urge to look, knowing that it would do little good.
"Sometimes you seem almost too eager to let yourself be a monster, you
know that? You don't even allow for the possibility that you and the
Eva just happen to be connected. It has to be because you're a
monster."

"That's what you wanted me to admit, though," whispered Neil, his arms
limply struggling to embrace Yui, feeling very small and afraid. "You
wanted me to say that I was a monster, didn't you? That I'm horrible,
unclean, and -"

"Quiet." Yui's voice was quiet and soft, but carried enough impact to
make Neil fall silent. "You accept what you do wrong too readily,
Neil. No matter how hard you try or what you achieve, it's always
wrong for some reason."

"And it -should- be," replied Neil, feeling the woman's arms release
him as he spoke, his sadness increasing. "I... I don't deserve to live
with other people. I ought to sacrifice myself to undo everything
wrong, to try and fix all my mistakes, to -"

"Idiot. Who do you think would have destroyed the Third Angel if not
for you?" The double stepped over and jerked Neil roughly to his feet,
his green eyes flashing with an emotion that Neil couldn't quite
place. "Who else would have stayed to save Ryo? Who would have given
Nieve moments of happiness? Who else would have gone back to Central
Dogma in the face of certain death?" He smirked. "You can't deny the
positive outcomes, Neil. Even if you hate yourself as much as you
claim, you must realize that you've done things right."

"For the wrong reasons!" shouted Neil, pulling away from his double and
shaking his head. "I keep trying to be a good person and I keep
failing! It's not worth it any more! I'll just keep failing over and
over again, and I'll keep hurting people in the process!"

"And you'll keep helping people, too," replied Yui, her voice
surprisingly small and trembling. Blinking back tears, Neil looked
towards the woman, seeing her and the double standing beside one
another. "You don't do things for just one reason. If you manage to
bring just a little bit more light into the world, isn't that enough?
Haven't you made the world a better place just for trying?"

"But..." His breathing was coming shallowly and quickly now, his heart
pounding against his ribs like a maniac. "The bloodlust. The hatred.
All of these things... I shouldn't feel them like this. Not this
intensely. Other people don't act like I do."

"Other people don't pilot the Eva like you do," replied the double, a
thin smile tracing across his face. "You're not an angel, Neil.
Nobody is. That's not what you're supposed to be." His eyes widened
slightly as if seeing some unknown horror standing behind Neil, and
light began to flash from his body. "But we can't hold your hand any
longer. This part is up to you."

Neil's eyes flicked back and forth between Yui and the other. His
mouth half-opened to ask a question, then shut, his lips pressing
together in a hard line, swallowing a dry lump of fear. He wanted to
ask the pair to stay, but something in him knew that it would be
futile, that whatever was waiting for him wouldn't wait for his own
concerns. "I won't forget," he whispered, letting his hands clench
into fists. "I won't let you down."

Yui and the other opened their mouths in unison, as if about to speak,
but not a noise issued forth. They both dissolved in a flurry of light
and feathers, melting into nothingness as Neil shielded his eyes,
illuminating the black walls of the chamber lined with thin red
patterns.

As the light faded, Neil could see another figure standing in their
place, a thin body cloaked in thick robes, eyes an uncanny mixture of
colors. "Kaworu," Neil called, no doubt left in his mind as he forced
himself to look on the other boy. His fists tightened slightly. "But
you're not really Kaworu, are you?"

"Very perceptive, Third Child," replied the thing that wore Kaworu's
skin, smiling once more past where his jaws would have allowed for it,
his eyes growing unnaturally wide. "I wonder, are you now able to see
me for who I am? Or are you still blinded by your denial?"

"God," snapped Neil, feeling a warm rush of adrenaline seep into his
bloodstream.

The smile spread until it threatened to split the head, and the robes
and skin fell away in a cascade of light, dissolving before they ever
hit the floor. Neil's eyes burned with the intense display, but he
forced himself not to look away, watching as the pale boy's form split
to reveal only three gigantic eyes, each easily as tall as Neil,
arranged in a triangle before him. Each iris was a swirling mass of
conflicting colors, and as the eyes blinked the land around them
shifted to a beautiful garden, high atop a hill, looking out across a
barren desert. "Well done," boomed a voice. "Speak."

Neil felt his through go dry in shock, having half-expected to be wrong
despit himself. Coughing gently, he forced a scratching breath into
his lungs, feeling his confidence flagging. "You've been sent to judge
the Earth, haven't you?"

"I am not 'sent' anywhere. I choose where I will go." Two of the eyes
closed, leaving only one to stare at him, looking as disdainful as a
disembodied eye could. "I have come to this world to judge the works
and lives of my children, of the human race. You, Neil Richelieu, have
been the sole specimen presented in the defense of your world." There
was a pause, as if the deity was waiting for Neil to interject.

Cold sweat beaded along Neil's forehead, his mind struggling to figure
out if he wasn't just seeing another illusion, trying to comprehend the
possibility that he was truly addressing a god. The eye stared for a
moment longer, then blinked, letting the garden wither to blackened
remnants in a second. "You have done little to defend yourself, Neil.
I have seen your race as represented by you, and it is not something
that I wish to continue inflicting upon Earth."

"Why?" shouted Neil, beginning to feel some small courage assert itself
inside his chest. "What even gives you the right to judge us? You
cast us out, and then you expect us to -"

"Do not question me, boy," snapped the voice. Its volume did not
alter, but all three eyes flew open, and Neil felt a spasm of pain
consume him, sending him involuntarily to his knees. "I am that I am.
You are a race of selfish individuals that exist only to hurt one
another and further your own desires. I give you this last chance to
defend your actions out of mercy. Do not try my patience."

Blood brushed against Neil's lips, and he swallowed hard, pulling
himself roughly to his feet. "I've tried to save the Earth from
destruction," he said simply, feeling his eyes go blurry.

"You have done anything but. You have attempted to kill companions to
usurp their stations amongst others. You have allowed yourself to be
consumed with rage and hatred. You have destroyed people that care for
you because of your own selfishness. What do you have to say to
alleviate that?"

"Nothing," the boy half-coughed, releasing and clenching his fists in
steady intervals, watching the world around him become consumed by an
eyeblink winter. "But I realize that I've done things wrong. I'm
trying to correct them as best I can. It's the moral thing to -"

"Morals? Do not trifle me with your absurdities. You are no more
moral than the ice aroung you." The garden was past recognition now,
coated in thick snows and blocks of ice. "Yours is a basically selfish
race. You impose morals only to try and curb your natural instincts.
If that is the best defense that you can muster, then judgement is done
and passed."

Snow and razor-sharp wind bit into Neil's skin, but he could feel
something burning within him, some last bit of strength from Yui and
the other, from Rei and Nieve - perhaps even from himself. "They're
not shackles," he whispered, knowing full well that the other entity
could hear him. "We try to use them to hold ourselves back, but we use
them just as readily to drive ourselves upwards. They make us what we
are - they make -me- who -I- am."

"And this is something to be proud of?" replied the voice of the eyes.
For the barest moment the image of the old school playground flashed
before Neil's eyes, the bully tormenting his friend, a pencil hard and
lethal in his hand. "You are bloodthirsty, selfish, and cruel. You do
things for your own gain."

"Yes. But I also do things because they're the right thing to do." He
sighed heavily, feeling his confidence grow and flag in equal amounts.
Snow whipped about with more ferocity. "I can't say why I got in the
Eva that first day. Maybe it was because I didn't want to feel
guilty. Maybe it was because I knew it was the right thing to do. But
whatever my reasons... I got in, I piloted it, I fought for others."
His eyes flashed with determination. "For whatever I've done wrong,
I've done things right."

"Of little consequence," replied the deity flatly, the three eyes now
flashing with an inner fire that implied a growing anger. "You are a
basically selfish species, and you will fail as often as you succeed."

"Probably. But that's no reason to stop trying." The image of the
bully flashed in his eyes once again, but this time he didn't feel the
guilt from before. "If we're basically selfish, that means that we're
not basically evil, that we're capable of doing better. If we do wrong
in trying to do good... we just have to keep trying."

Silence hung in the snow-covered land for a moment, the colors of the
eyes flashing with greater intensity. "This is your defense, then?"
asked the voice, almost mockingly. "You believe that you can succeed
at something so contrary to your nature?"

Neil's eyes drifted closed heavily, images flashing through his mind
once again. He could see the Fourth Angel, thrashing about as he tried
to stab it, his arms struggling to pull it away from Ryo. He could see
Eiko's machine shielding him from the Fifth. He could feel the air
whistle past him as he ran towards Central Dogma, the Fourteenth
tearing apart the city. And above it all, he could see Nieve's face,
smiling, crying, laughing, shouting, always the two points of liquid
and beautiful green that were her eyes dancing before him.

"No," he said, opening his eyes once again, staring at the triangle
before him without fear. "But that doesn't mean I'm going to stop
trying."

The image of the bully was flashing in his eyes as he extended his arm,
palm open, feeling power surge through his body as he felt the red
double-pointed lance form in his hand. He gripped it tightly, feeling
his body flick back and forth between the snowfield and the schoolyard,
and in each his face twisted into a grimace of determination. Gripping
his weapon tightly, he ran forward, eyes not angry but certain, a cry
of defiance on his lips, the bully and the eyes growing larger in his
sight as the rest of the world faded into nothingness. His weapon
flashed forward in both, towards its ultimate target, the lethal points
driving home -

"Enough," snapped the voice, a sound like trumpets and thunder filling
the air with it. Neil's world went perfectly white, his body lost
substance, and he suddenly felt himself falling faster than he had ever
known, hurtling away from the garden and the schoolyard, a sense of
triumph overcoming him as he flew.

]++[

A shaft of light shot forth from the deepest recesses of Terminal
Dogma, shattering metal as it raced upwards, blasting through the armor
of the Geo-Front without effort. It continued moving past the city of
Tokyo-3, towering into the heavens, past the moon and into space
unknown, drawing the attention of the world as it lingered for what
seemed like an eternity, the vaguest hints of the arms of a cross
flickering as it met the outer edges of Earth's atmosphere.

Inside Terminal Dogma, however, there was far more to see than simply
the light cascading upwards from EVA-01. White light flooded from the
machine, encompassing the room, throwing it into black and white for
only an instant before growing too bright to allow anything but white.
Nieve felt her eyes go blind for a moment at the sheer intensity of the
burst, falling to her knees as she felt herself buffeted by winds, her
eyes closing tightly but unable to block out the perfect and searing
light.

Then the corona around the Evas and the Angel burst, flying outwards,
passing through the base without substance, washing over everything
within the Geo-Front like first sunlight. It took Nieve's eyes a
moment to adjust to the faded light of the chamber, the LCL dark once
again, but even as she adjusted she could see EVA-01 moving. "Neil,"
she whispered, drawing herself to her feet, eyes blinking back
involuntary tears.

EVA-01 pulled the lance free of both Lillith and EVA-08 effortlessly,
holding the weapon aloft for only a moment before it seemed to liquify
and run into the palm of the great beast. A slight red glow surrounded
the beast for a moment, but it soon faded to white, the eyes flashing
green as it staggered away from its fallen opponents. Its fingers
clawed at its chest, LCL spraying around it in great showers as it
tried to wrench something free from itself, the massive jaws closed
tightly once again.

Nieve stepped forward, and as if on cue the Eva opened its mouth once
more, letting out a mighty roar. The entire machine pitched forward,
huddling over as if chilled, then arched backwards, presenting its
chest proudly to the heavens, arms spread wide. A great tearing noise
filled the air, and as if newly-born the entry plug shot forth from the
beast's chest, trailing blood and metal, hurtling through the air and
twirling madly.

The spinning cockpit slammed first into the ceiling, then one wall,
then another, and with each impact Nieve could feel her gut wrenching
slightly at the sound even as she prayed that Neil was inside. Another
harsh slam against the wall, hard enough to possibly break the neck of
any pilot within, and the thing spun into the LCL, skipping along the
surface once before plummeting into its depths, swallowed by the ocean
like so much debris.

Misato and Nieve both watched the spot of the plug's disappearance, the
ripples expanding slowly outwards. "If he's alive, he should be all
right," Gendou announced weakly from behind them. "But the plug will
probably eject any LCL within it regardless. If he's been absorbed by
the Eva..."

"Pray that he hasn't been," whispered Misato, watching as the plug
bobbed back to the surface, the LCL exhaust porst on the sides dripping
and open, the white cylinder moving slowly towards the walkway. Not
another word pierced the air as the three watched, waiting for some
sign that the boy inside was alive, Nieve's heart sinking at the wait.

A slight twitch came from the hatch, then a larger one. The metal
ground harshly against itself, but it swung upwards, pushed by a blood-
streaked arm, pale against the dim light of the chamber. With slow,
pained, deliberate movements, Neil Richelieu stood once again, hunched
over and panting, streaked with blood and LCL. His eyes weakly flicked
towards Nieve, then his body pitched forward into the LCL, eyes
closing, chest heaving what seemed a final breath.

In the instant it took Neil to fall into the red-orange liquid, Nieve
felt her knees go weak, buckling beneath her as the boy's arms seemed
to spread, though whether it was from gravity or a conscious choice was
unclear. The splash filled her world for a second, then vanished from
memory as she watched him pull himself back to the surface, head
arching back as his lungs ripped a breath from the air around him,
droplets of LCL clinging to him as he leaned forward and began swimming.

Gendou watched coldly as the boy swam towards the platform, pulling
himself up on the thin metal platform with slow and labored movments,
dripping LCL as he pulled himself to his full height. The boy met the
elder man's gaze, his emerald eyes displaying a fierce determination
Gendou couldn't remember having seen before. "You saw God," he said
flatly, knowing that the boy would ask no questions.

"No judgement," replied Neil, shivering slightly in the chill, his
voice resonating with a deep and powerful certainty. "Or judgement has
been passed without sentence. Your choice. It's over now, either
way." He turned towards Nieve, eyes wider now, pleading, but still
with that same strength.

"You destroyed it all, you realize," Gendou said, feeling his own voice
come across his lips sounding broken, the noise of a frayed and barely-
working violin. "Everything that we worked so long for... you
discarded it like that, just because you -"

"I did what I saw as right," replied Neil, his hands clenching into
fists. "That's all I could have done. That's all any of us can do."

Silence hovered between the two for a moment, broken only by the gentle
sloshing of the LCL around them. "I was going to set us free," Gendou
repeated weakly, his own hands going limp, face slowly dropping into an
expression. "You understand that, don't you?"

"We were never shackled, except by things that we couldn't change."
Neil half-turned his head back towards Gendou, his eyes catching the
scant light at just the right angle and seeming to glow a radiant
emerald. "Yui realized that. That's why she helped me... why she
saved us." He turned away once again. "I'm leaving."

The strength fled from Gendou's knees, and only through force of will
did he stop himself from collapsing completely, the shock and confusion
written plainly across his face. It was a moment before he could
regain any kind of composure, and by that time the others had already
moved halfway towards the exit of the chamber. "Wait," he called, his
voice sounding unimaginably small, barely reaching the trio.

Neil heard him, froze, turned slowly to face the elder man, his face
stoic and unafraid. Gendou couldn't help but wonder if Shinji would
have looked the same, if the same strength would have been present in
his own child. "Neil... this isn't over. SEELE will be coming for us,
to try and avert what they know we've already achieved. Their plans
span far beyond Third Impact, and I cannot stop them alone. Not any
longer." He choked on the last sentence, struggling to get out
anything more than the boy's name.

Sighing heavily, Neil bowed his head slightly, seeming to understand.
"I can't do otherwise," he whispered, words managing to reach Gendou
despite the distance. "I'm not running away."

Then they were gone, leaving Gendou alone to survey the wreckage of
Lillith and EVA-08, the great purple form of EVA-01 standing motionless
above both. "Yui," he whispered, stepping towards the goliath that
screamed triumphantly at the sky. He could see his wife's face clearly
enough, her delicate features, her fine brown hair that clung around
her chin, the beautiful and affectionate smile that still warmed him
when he closed his eyes.

Falling to his knees, Gendou could feel the tears welling in his eyes,
bubbling up and blurring his vision, sending the scene before him into
a mass of indistinct colors. He could only see his wife and son, both
gone now, only him alone left to try and carry on. It seemed an
unbearable burden at last, as if all the while he'd simply carried it
by convincing himself it was possible. Spasms of guilt shook his body,
sending him to all fours as the first tears forced their way from his
eyes towards the thin black metal.

Gendou Ikari, from his lone and ruined work deep within the bowels of
the earth, wept alone before the towering goliath of EVA-01.

]++[

Unbroken by clouds, the crystal-blue canopy of the sky stretched around
Tokyo-3, the faintest hint of a chill rushing through the air. The sun
still shone upon the city, however, just as it always did, its perfect
rays streaming from high above, pointing out the perfect edges of the
buildings, the great hole that had been carved into the Geo-Front, the
construction equipment being lowered in to repair the half-destroyed
Central Dogma. It was the wind that brought the chill out, a distant
and unfamiliar wind that seemed to blow straight down from the sky, but
cleansing rather than oppressive.

Lying on his back, Neil simply basked in the interplay of the warm
sunlight and the cold wind, focusing only on his breath, his eyes
taking in scenery with a detached air. Already they were beginning to
rebuild Central Dogma and patch together the armor of the Geo-Front,
though Gendou was claiming that the Japanese government's help might
prove to be abortive. It was only hours since the end of Third Impact,
but already NERV had been pulled back together.

Neil closed his eyes, letting himself remember the quick meeting that
Gendou had held with the Children, Ritsuko and Kozou flanking him as if
it somehow lended credence to his claims that they were all in danger.
None of them had given him a clear yes or no, except Neil. He had been
the first to leave, simply nodding an agreement with the other man and
climbing to the surface, wanting time alone with himself.

"Alone," he whispered, eyes opening and taking in the shimmering
buildings of the city, the red insignia of NERV, the way that light
seemed to play off of anything reflective in the shape of a cross. He
felt a burden lifted, the sudden dearth of guilt unnaturally relieving,
and his eyes sank closed once again as if weighted. "How utterly
beautiful."

It might have been days before he felt the soft touch upon his
shoulder, and even before he opened his eyes he could feel Nieve above
him. "Hey," she offered, thin red hair nearly brushing his face.
"I've been looking for you."

"Sorry," replied Neil, watching as the girl stood and went to lie
beside him, a thin smile upon her lips. There was the familiar pain in
his chest, and inwardly his spirits sank ever so slightly. Whatever
course he took in the future, he couldn't escape the fact that he'd
hurt her deeply. "I just needed a little space. A little open air."

"Mmm." Her eyes drifted closed as she spread her arms and legs,
seeming to bask in the sun. "It's so beautiful here, isn't it? With
the sun, and this nice little wind - I think this is the nicest day
we've had since I got here." She smiled more earnestly, turning her
head towards Neil. "Makes me miss Ireland."

Neil returned the smile, looking towards him as well, folding his arms
beneath his head. "Are you planning on going back?" he asked,
resisting his first instinct to feel that he'd said the worst possible
thing. "I mean, Gendou's offer -"

"I'm staying," she announced firmly, the smile wavering as she cast her
eyes back towards the heavens. "If you're staying here, so am I. Not
getting rid of me that easily." She paused. "You're not getting rid
of me at all."

Drawing a slow, coughing breath, Neil felt his throat tighten. This
was what he had been terrified of, the vague dread that had kept him
tense. "Nieve..." He coughed, tried to start over. "Listen, what we
had talked about earlier -"

"Shh." The girl said nothing more for a moment, then edged herself
beside Neil, letting their bodies brush together. She hovered there,
her lips pursed and her eyes trembling beneath closed lids. "I
remember everything, Neil. But you're still not going to get rid of me
that easily."

Neither child said a word, and Nieve almost effortlessly rolled herself
on top of Neil. Instantly his body reacted to her presence, the fire-
red hair framing her face and surrounding his, the perfect green eyes
staring into his with tears brimming in them. "I know that you've hurt
me, Neil," she whipsered, voice trembling. "But I... I... I don't
care. I know how we feel about one another, know that it wasn't out of
malice, know..." She paused, choking down a sob, a lone tear falling
from her eyes. "I trust you, Neil. I really do."

Breathing deeply, Neil stared into the girl's eyes, amazed. He could
still see every way that he'd hurt her, every single blow that he'd
dealt her, all of the things that he had every reason to feel guilty
for. Then he remembered Yui's words, and in a crystalline moment
everything meant nothing. All that mattered was the beautiful and
lovable girl lying on top of him, and the fact that his heart was
struggling to meet hers. "I love you, Nieve."

"I love you, Neil."

The two brought their lips together, pressing them tightly, their arms
moving into an embrace without words, the guilt and fear washing away
from them as if it had never been them. Above them stretched the
infinite heavens, unbroken and placid, sheltering the world gently like
the wings of a dove.

]++[

I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: If
anyone adds anything to them, God will add to him the plagues described
in this book. And if anyone takes words away from this book of
prophecy, God will take away from him his share in the tree of life and
in the holy city, which are described in this book.
-REVELATIONS 22:18

]++[

Outro: Neon Epoch Evangelion is based off of -Shin Seiki Evangelion- by
GAINAX and company. It is not intended to be a straightforward fanfic,
but it is building off the work of others, and as such it is done with
the utmost respect for the original works and their authors.
Basically, even though this is an original work, it's based off the
work of others, and if you read this, you should go to see the original.

Special thanks to all of the real Children - you know who you are.

Extra special thanks to Joe Augulis for his consultation on the
Japanese portions of the story. He might not know much Japanese, but
that's more than I know.

Copyright 2002 Eliot Lefebvre. Remember, love one another.

FINIS.

]++[

We only have a little time in our lives to waste. Make the most of it.
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Producer of, um, stuff for an unspecified time-period.
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