Author's Note: This story also takes place, thanks to the baffling mess that is time travel, after the Beast Wars episode where Starscream possess Waspinator and causes his own special brand of havoc for the Maximals. That's how the following dialogue between the Air Commander and the Predacon who makes the Dinobots look eloquent can take place. Oh, and by the way, any dialogue between these symbols means that it's sung.

Chapter 4: Days of Blunder

A field somewhere in the USA…

Starscream: WASPINATOR?!?

Waspinator: ZZZZZTARSCREAM?!?

Starscream: How did you get here? More to the point, why are you dead?

Waspinator: Wazzzzzzzpinator not know. One minute Wazzzzzzpinator showing humanzzzzz how lightning conductor work during thunderstorm, then there was bright flash of light and a tingle, then Wazzzzpinator no able to touch thingzzzzz no more.

Starscream: What were you using as a conductor?

Waspinator: Myzzzzzelf.

Starscream: …Good to know you're still the massive intellect you always were. (suddenly gets an idea) Say, how would you like to join me on a quest for-

Waspinator: Wazzzzzzzpinator will do it!

Starscream: …But you haven't heard what I'm questing for.

Waspinator: That okay! Wazzzzzzpinator willing to do ANYTHING!

Starscream (places his fingertips together in a pyramid formation): Excellent…

Evil music plays.

*****

Cybertron…

We can see Sureshot walking down the corridor towards a door clearly marked 'Brainstorm's Lab'. As he nears it he can hear the eponymous scientist singing to himself.

Brainstorm (off screen): In Brainstorm's LAB-RA-TORY!

                                           Lives the smartest bot you've ever seen!

                                           But Perceptor blows his ex-per-iments

                                           To SMI-THER-EENS!

                                            Go, you goon, when things go BOOM!

                                            In Brainstorm's LAAAAAAAAAB!

Sureshot shudders briefly before opening the door. In the actual lab he finds Brainstorm working on something at the far end of the room under a sheet.

Sureshot: Brainstorm?

Brainstorm leaps up in shock and spins around to face Sureshot, making sure to keep his project under wraps.

Brainstorm: Sureshot?!? What are you doing here?

Sureshot: Jazz sent me. He wants to know if you're finished with his Cowboy Bebop DVDs yet.

Brainstorm: I'm not. I'll need them for a few hours more.

Sureshot: Say, what're you working on anyway? A new weapon?

Sureshot walks over to the covered project but is stopped by Brainstorm.

Brainstorm: It's none of your concern. Now I believe you were just leaving?

Sureshot: Oh all right…

Sureshot makes as if he's about to leave. Once he sees that Brainstorm has relaxed slightly he dashes forward and rips the sheet off the project.

Brainstorm: NO…!

Sureshot stares in surprise at the project. From what he can see, Brainstorm has constructed a perfect replica of…

Sureshot: Faye Valentine?

Cut to the Faye replica. It looks exactly like the Faye from the show, from the hair color to the clothing (yellow top and shorts, red shawl type dealie around the shoulders and cream colored leggings). It's sitting in a chair and has numerous wires coming out of its head. Following the wires, Sureshot found that they were connected to a monitor showing the 'Jammin With Edward' episode.

Sureshot: What the hell is going on?

Brainstorm: Alright, alright! I'll tell you. But you must promise me that you don't breathe a word of this to anyone, understand?

Sureshot: Why? (suddenly realizes) You mean Perceptor?

Brainstorm: Mmm-hmm. He would just love to ruin this for me.

Sureshot: But what is it?

Brainstorm: It all started about two weeks ago. I happened across one of Jazz's Cowboy Bebop DVDs when I was skulking…I mean, wandering around the base. Curious as to what he kept going on about I played the disk and expected nothing but pure drivel.

Brainstorm suddenly gets very passionate and grabs Sureshot by the arms.

Brainstorm: It was there that I found it. The one thing I've been missing my entire life!

Sureshot: …Sanity?

Brainstorm: Ye…NO! HER!

Brainstorm points to Faye.

Sureshot: Wait a sec…you mean to tell me that that's a robot made up to look a popular anime character?

Brainstorm: Precisely! Right now I'm downloading the character's personality traits from the DVDs into her neural net! When I activate her she will have the exact same personality as she does on the show!

Sureshot: All for the express purpose of getting a date?

Brainstorm: Yep. It's not as if any of the female Autobots are tearing down my door to get to me, at least in the non-homicidal way. So I figured, why not go the Bride of Frankenstein route, only with matching body parts?

Sureshot: Okay then, but how are you going to…well, do anything with her? You don't have a mouth…

Sureshot is silenced when Brainstorm removes his facemask to reveal a newly constructed mouth complete with tongue.

Brainstorm: Just completed it this morning.

At this point the camera moves out of the lab, obscuring Sureshot and Brainstorm.

Sureshot (off screen): …Oooooookaaaayy. But what about in, um, more private matt-

Sureshot is cut off again by a few clanks, grunts and whirrs, the sounds made by someone removing a piece of armor.

Sureshot (off screen): OH MY GOD!

*****

Cybertron, Control Tower 1…

Loud blues music can be heard with the room where Jazz and Cliffjumper are working. Jazz is enjoying the music immensely. Cliffjumper isn't, as is shown by the number of strips he's ripped off the wall in anger. Finally he snaps and turns off the music.

Jazz: HEY! I was listening to that!

Cliffjumper: Yes, you were…FOR SIX STRAIGHT HOURS! Can't we listen to something else? I thought you solely a jazz lover anyway.

Jazz: Don't be dense! I started wailing the blues when the doctor whacked my bottom on the day I was born.

Cliffjumper: That's nice. And stopping quoting that bloody anime.

At this point a distant craaaaassssshhh came be heard form the far side of the planet.

Cliffjumper: Did you here something?

Jazz (quickly turns the blues back on and locks the off button): Nope. Not a thing.

Cliffjumper: SHEEEEEEAAAAAAAGGGGHHH!

*****

Still on Cybertron, Underground Autobot Crypts…

We can see that the shuttle Runamuck and Runabout departed from Char in was the object that made the crashing noise by smashing trough the planet's surface. After a bit of grunting and swearing the duo groggily step out of the shuttle.

Runamuck: What did I tell you about keeping your eye on the grav read out?

Runabout: But I'm tellin' ya bro, I got distracted!

Flashback – a few minutes earlier

Runabout is in the cockpit by himself checking various dials and what not as Cybertron looms into view. Just as he's about to call Runamuck over the intercom he happens to glance out the window and is stunned to see Royce Glas (from the Fear Effect games) floating by in a tutu.

Royce Glas: Hi, how are ya?

Runabout: My dream! It's coming true!

In his excitement he accidentally pushes the joystick forward, causing the shuttle to go into a death dive.

Runabout: …Whoops.

End Flashback

Runamuck: See, this is why we command so little respect in the army. If you keep…what's wrong?

Runabout stares in awe at something in the distance. He points a shaky finger at it.

Runabout: LOOK!

Runamuck follows his finger to an oddly shaped structure in the distance. There was nothing special about it as far as the Battlecharger could see.

Runamuck: What about it?

Runabout: It's the Proposing Sheep!

We look through Runabout's eyes and see that he perceives it as a sheep on one knee holding a diamond ring.

Runamuck: …It's the what now?

Runabout: Don't you see? My dream's coming true! IT'S AN OMEN I TELLS YA!

Voice (in the distance but getting closer): Who's there?!

Runamuck: Oh Primus, a guard!

Runamuck pushes Runabout into the shadows just as the guard strides into view. He is the one Autobot dumb enough to match the feeble wit of the Battlechargers. He is…

Warpath: I said BLAM! BOOM! KAZOWY! who goes there?

Runamuck (panicking): It is I, Shamus!

Warpath: Shamus? KABLAM!

Runamuck: Yeah, Shamus…O'Lunacy. (winces)

As this meeting of the minds takes place we can see Runabout sneak around the chamber and end up behind Warpath, using the shadows as cover. Picking up a large slab of steel he runs up to Warpath and slams him over the head with it.

Warpath: Ow! KAZINGY!

Warpath goes down. Runamuck gazed at the fallen Autobot for a moment and wondered how much longer the author could keep getting away with this crap. He wasn't the only one.

Runamuck: 'Kazingy'?

Runabout: C'mon! Let's get the body before anything else happens.

The Battlechargers run down the path Warpath had used and within minutes arrive in the burial chamber.

Runabout: Okay, which one's our guy?

Runamuck walks over to one of the upright coffins and stares at the nameplate. It clearly says, in big bold letters, 'Ratchet'. He stares for a few minutes more before shaking his head in defeat.

Runamuck: Damn! It's times like these I wished I knew how to read.

Runabout: Ditto. Say, how about we take 'em all and let Cyclonus worry about it?

Runamuck: Sounds like a plan.

*****

A few hours later in the meeting room…

Rodimus Prime: What do you mean the Autobot crypt has been looted?!?

Springer: Exactly what I said. Every single body has been removed.

Rodimus Prime: Why?! And by whom?

Arcee: We don't know.

Rodimus Prime: You don't know?! Didn't you ask the guard?

Arcee and Springer nod.

Rodimus Prime: And you couldn't get any worthwhile information out of him? Who the hell was the guard on duty?

Warpath (off screen): KABLAMMO!

Rodimus Prime: …Oh.

Ultra Magnus: So what now? Without any clues how can we figure out who managed to sneak past our defenses? They could strike again you know.

Rodimus Prime: I know, I know…

Arcee: So what are we going to do?

Rodimus Prime: I'm afraid we'll have to call on…his services again.

Pan over the horrified faces of the other Autobots.

Springer: Oh no, you can't mean…!

Rodimus Prime: I'm afraid I do. We'll have to call…

Rodimus turns to the window as the camera zooms in for a Really Dramatic Close-Up.

Rodimus Prime: …NIGHTBEAT!!!

To Be Continued…

There was a few storylines I couldn't include in this chapter due to time constraints (mostly about Galvatron's 'egg' and what Cyclonus' project is). But rest assured I will include them in the next chapter! Until then, thanks for the reviews and see you in Chapter 5: Enter the Nightbeat!