Disclaimer : Maybe if I close my eyes tight and wish really hard these will belong to me. *does so* Oh well, guess not.
Feedback : You all know how i feel about it. :)
Authors Note : Hey, hey! Heres another fic from me. I can see you all frowning from here. Anyways, please don't be put off by the song-fic-ish beginning. This story is intended to be very angsty, but as usual, I promise a happy trory ending. I hope you enjoy :)

Post Note Thing : Ummm.. Im not all that great at writing in 1st person, but Im going to try. This story is an attempt from Tristan's POV. If it sucks all that much, I'll probably revert to 3rd person. Just thought I'd clear that up.




"I Cry Real Tears"
Part One





Its a cold world. All these people with all this money, everything a person could want at their fingertips. Its a shame that most of them don't realize that they're missing something. Its not something that can be bought or something that can even be grasped, its something that just is. Most of the people in my world are as cold as the world we live in. They're hearts have turned to stone after so many years of scheming and alienating those who actually cared about them. My parents are like that. My father, he's some big hot shot CEO of one company or another, I've given up trying to learn what he does. I rarely see him. My mother, she's nothing more then a trophy wife that my father only married because he got her pregnant with my brother. I, being the second child, don't matter much in their eyes. They've got the good son, the one who will take over the company once my father steps down, the one who has never done anything wrong. Me, Im just a backup, in case something might ever happen to the "prince" as I've come to call him. We've never gotten along.

The kids in my world, they're almost as cold and conniving as their parents. Some of them aren't too bad, its just hard to see that at my school, Chilton. I suppose I would be considered popular, some might say that Im the crowned prince of the school, but thats unnecessary. The friends I have are out of necessity, those forced upon me at an early age so I could make the "right" connections in the world. None of them know me. School might've been a place for me to strut my stuff, but thats hardly me anymore. I used to surround myself with airheaded girls, the cliché "dumb blonde", but again, thats not me anymore. I've changed. I've seen what the other side has to offer and now I want that too.

It was sophomore year. I, being the jerk I once was, found a new torture subject, a new conquest. A beautiful young girl by the name of Lorelai Gilmore the Third to some, Rory to most and Mary to me. We had a love/hate type of relationship, that was strained at best. All of my life I've had girls fall at my feet, begging for me to pay an inch of attention to them. But her, she didn't care. She was different. She came from the other side, she was the other side. She was a Gilmore, true, one of the most influential families in Hartford, but she wasn't one of them. She didn't care what anybody thought, she did what she wanted, even if that meant coming across as a bit odd. She hadn't grown up like we had and most of us shun her for it. Personally, I think everyone was just jealous.I know I am.

Rory became more then a simple conquest to me as time wore on. Each day I saw her, I grew increasingly taken with her wit, her beauty, her heart. But there was that single obstacle in my way. Her boyfriend. Months after she first came to Chilton, we met at a party, after I was publicly dismissed by Summer, Dean, thats her boyfriend, had just broken up with her. I don't know what happened.. the time was wrong, but the feelings, they were there. They were right. We kissed, she cried, she ran, I was crushed. Time wore on and we started to form an amicable friendship, which I had to go and ruin. You'd think that one who has attended such an academically challenged school such as Chilton, all their life, I would be smarter. But no, I played the role of the idiot and ruined a good thing. Later I would continue to act like a child, thus prompting her to say she hated me. I've heard the words before, from my father many times, but never had they cut through my heart in such a way. Never had those three words hurt so much.


You ought to be ashamed of yourself,
The way you talk down to me
Oh, baby
And didn't anybody ever teach you
To act more respectfully


She doesn't see me. Nobody does. All anyone sees is the facade I put on everyday. Its like wearing a mask all the time, eventually it just becomes a part of you. I may have grown up here, in the cold, sterile environment of Hartford's elite, but I don't belong here. Im different from the other people here. Somewhere beneath all the hurt and anger I know that is inside of me, I do have a heart. A beating heart, that yearns to be loved the way I love. To be loved by her.


I'm telling you that I'm only human, too
Don't you realize
Look at my face
What do you see in my eyes
When a part of me just dies

I cry real tears
I have real fears
I've got a heart that's beating inside
Sometimes it breaks, and when it aches
My eyes cry real tears


Eventually I'll get through. If theres one good thing that growing up the way I have, I have learned that nothing is impossible. You reach for the stars and eventually you're going to get there. My goal is a little lower then that, but Im reaching out all the same. Reaching for her, to make her see that Im not the asshole she thinks I am. To make her understand that I love her, that I am capable of loving her the way she deserves.


You treat me like you think I'm made of stone
Like when I'm cut I don't bleed
Oh baby
Don't you know that I'm flesh and bone
So what do you want from me

I'm telling you that I'm only human, too
Don't you realize
Look at my face
What do you see in my eyes
When a part of me just dies

I cry real tears
I have real fears
I've got a heart that's beating inside
Sometimes it breaks, and when it aches
My eyes cry real tears

There's something called the golden rule
Some day you'll wish you've followed it more
You've been a fool
My love is truer than any love you'll find
But I'm worth so much more, and so is my time


But for now, I'll sit back and watch. Im a strong believer in fate and I know that fate will bring us together.



*********


Eh, not as strong as a beginning as I had hoped. Ah well. This isn't just going to be Tristan's thoughts, this is really just the prologue, to get the whole feeling of the story out to ya'll. Umm.. yes, this is a Trory, because, well, it is. Stay tuned, there will be some interaction in the next chapter (and probably 3rd person. This sucked!).

To be continued...



*P/S. The song used is "I Cry Real Tears" by Tonya Mitchell*