Author's note: Shoulda said this before, but all Beast Warriors are the same size as the Autobots and Decepticons. They're also all Transmetals.
Chapter 8: And that's when things REALLY got bizarre…
Pokemon City Alpha B-1, Earth…
Arspinator: Wazzzzzzpinator getting crampzzzz in places Wazzzzpinator not even know he had.
Weescream: SSHH! They're coming!
On the count of one (due to Waspinator's difficulty with numbers beyond that) the Pokemonized duo leapt into the path of Ramjet, Thrust and a near catatonic Dirge.
Weescream: WEEZING!
Arspinator: WAZZZZ…er, I mean ARBOK!
Ramjet/Thrust: KEWL!
In a frenzy of excitement Ramjet picks up Weescream and Thrust grabs Arspinator. Both cuddle the spark-infested models fiercely.
Ramjet: Can we keep 'em, Dirge? Huh, can we?!?
Thrust: Yeah, can we?!?
Dirge: If you can will we leave?
Ramjet and Thrust nod vigorously.
Dirge: Then yes.
Ramjet/Thrust: YAAAY!
Close up of Weescream and Arspinator, glints of pure evil in their eyes. Unfortunately, instead of a really evil piece of music, the theme to Gilligan's Island starts to play. Damn CD.
*****
Char…
A space shuttle lands near the Decepticon HQ, its engines gradually whirring down from a high scream to a dull whine and its landing legs crushing Fangry and Crankcase beneath them as it touches down. A welcoming party of Cyclonus, Spinister, Needlenose and Bom-Burst walk up to the shuttle as three figures disembark. One of them looks a humanoid who escaped from Flesh Gordon, the second is a humanoid looking deep sea diver with tentacles coming out of his shoulders while their leader is a skull faced samurai, albeit one with a taste for day-glo orange armor and shocking purple helmets. They are Stranglehold, Octopunch and Bludgeon.
Cyclonus: About time you got here. Look, we ne-
Bludgeon: I am Bludgeon.
Cyclonus: Um, we kinda knew that already…
Bludgeon: I am the Master of Metalikato and these are my assistants Octopunch and Stranglehold.
Stranglehold: Assistants…?
Octopunch: Meh, it's better than 'hanger-ons'.
Bludgeon (to Spinister): You, take my bags to my quarters.
Spinister: Do I look like a freaking busboy?!?
Bludgeon: …Yes.
Cut to Spinister who is indeed dressed like a busboy.
Spinister: Grr…you win THIS round Bludgeon…
Spinister picks up Bludgeon's bags as the other 'Cons walks toward the main complex. A distance away Inferno and Terrorsaur are spying on these events. Well, Inferno is. Terrorsaur is currently trying to guide Super Sonic to victory on the fire ant's Game Boy Advance.
Inferno (looking through some binoculars): DEAR PRIMUS!!!
Terrorsaur: What is it?
Inferno: The greatest, vilest, most unspeakable evil has been summoned by the Decepticons!
Terrorsaur: Oh no, you mean…CHEETOR?!?!
Inferno: Ye…what? No, I mean the OTHER greatest, vilest, most unspeakable evil.
Terrorsaur: …Barbara Stresiand?
Inferno: …I hate you.
Inferno hands Terrorsaur the binoculars. After he's switched the Game Boy Advance off he takes a peek at the 'Cons. A girly squeak of terror escapes his lips.
Inferno: Come, we must report this to the Royalty!
Inferno's jet ignites while Terrorsaur transforms into his pteradon form. The duo fly off towards the new Predacon base.
*****
Inside Galvatron's throne room…
Galvatron: So, can you do anything?
Bludgeon: Indeed I can. I can bring this Autobot back to life if you want me to.
Galvatron: Really? How?
Bludgeon: I shall use the ancient and mystical technique known as Complete Bollocks to reinsert his spark into his body.
Galvatron: I have never heard of this technique before.
Bludgeon: I'm not surprised. It is a most secret and powerful magical discipline known only to myself and human politicians. In fact, these politicians have been known to speak it time and again.
Galvatron: Very well. Proceed!
Bludgeon bows to Galvatron before turning to Ratchet. Closing his eyes he began to recite a powerful and ancient spell:
Bludgeon: O media mogul tyrant,
Snark gazza wazoo!
Rhinox is a wiener,
Hasbro makee lotsa monee!
The second Bludgeon's finished the spell a blue light engulfs Ratchet. After a second or two it starts to expand.
Bludgeon: Uh-oh…
*****
Meanwhile, in Cyclonus' Closet O' Wonder…
Cyclonus: When I was an Insecticon, happiness was like having sex with Nelly Furtado. Very much desired but completely unlikely.
He walks over to a control panel which is attached to Elise in her chair.
Cyclonus: But you, my dear, shall change that.
With a smile Cyclonus pushes the activation switch just as the blue light comes through the wall and engulfs Elise.
Cyclonus: What the…?!
*****
Simultaneously, at the Predacon base…
Megatron: Report!
Inferno: My Queen, while at the Decepticon base we saw-
The blue light suddenly bursts through the wall and engulfs Inferno and Quickstrike in a blaze of pyrotechnics. A quick orbital shot of Cybertron shows the blue light cover Cybertron and open holes in the space/time continuum. Four figures exit from four separate holes. Back at the Predacon base the light dies down.
Megatron (rubbing his eyes): Inferno! Quickstrike!
He is about to yell out when he catches sight of Inferno and struck dumb, as are the other Predacons. With Quickstrike unconscious on the ground to his right, we can see that Inferno' left side is now that of…Inferno! The Autobot and Predacon are now physically one. (Think Megatron/Ratchet from The Curse, only here the duo's heads are separate and they have only two legs.)
Both Infernos: What?
The duo's eyes open wide. Slowly, they turn their heads to find…
Cut to an orbital shot of Cybertron.
Both Infernos: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
To be continued…
