Disclaimer : Oh, if only I were the head of the WB...
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Authors Note : I so apologize for not updating in soOo long. Theres a couple reasons behind this.
1. Life is insane. If it didn't hurt, I'd ram my head into a wall with all the stuff thats been going on lately.
2. Ff.net hasn't exactly been my best friend lately. Some people here are evil (not any of you, naturally =D)
3. Writers Block. Bleh
4. The death of Lisa "Lefteye" Lopes, which if you've read my profile, you'd know hit me hard. Long story though.
But anyway, thats basically my reasoning behind not updating or writing. I don't know how often updates are going to come now that Im out of school, but I'll try to be a little more consistent with it. Also, to those who are wondering what happened to my other fic "Don't Say You Love Me", if you read the last authors note posted, you'd know that I was looking for a co-writer, which I did get a volunteer for. She's got control over the next chapter, so go bug her :) (hehe) Anyways, enough babbling. Story time!
Part Five
If theres one thing I hate, its feeling
out of control over my life, my actions and more-over, my feelings. After
fleeing from Rory's house Saturday, once I had poured my heart out into my
karaoke song, I drove. Just drove, until I ended up in New York. I do this
often, actually, when I need to clear my head. Just hop in the car and head
into my favorite city, drowning out the things on my mind. Only this time
it didn't work. No matter where I went, what I did or who I was with, it
was always her that was forever emblazoned in my head. So I jumped back into
my ride and drove straight back to Hartford early Sunday morning.
Sunday was hell, but nothing could've prepared me for Monday at school. From an outsiders point of view, it probably wouldn't have seemed to bad. A few whispers here, a few glances there and a fight smack dab in the middle. But to me, it was torture, although my face betrayed what raged on the inside. After spending the past week with Rory as a part of my life, as my friend, the sudden void nearly broke my heart.
******
"Hey," I replied to a random brunette as I ambled down the hall shortly prior to first period. I turned the corner, only to stop dead in my tracks. Standing merely feet away from me was Rory, absentmindedly putting her books in her locker. I say absentmindedly because she kept putting the same book into her locker, taking it out and putting it back in. Gulping, I continued towards her. "Morning."
"Tristan."
Genuinely hurt by her curtness, I shook my head and headed towards my own locker. "Bye," I said meekly as I passed her.
She looked up, I know she did, but didn't say anything else and when I turned around a few moments later, she was gone.
******
"You know, I didn't know you had it in you," Ryan laughed, slapping me on the back.
"What?"
"Standing up there, professing your love for Gilmore. In front of her boyfriend and mother, no less."
Turning, my eyes glared at him. "I did no such thing."
Ryan rolled his eyes. "Give me a break, DuGrey. Everyone knows you're pining for her."
"I am not."
"If you say so," Ryan said, smirking a bit. The bell rang before I had the chance to reply..
Dammit, if Ryan knew now, the whole school would by the time the day ended. When would I learn?
******
It was during lunch, the next time I came into contact with Rory. I was standing outside the library, waiting for Mrs. Klieson to bring me the books I needed for my History project. She came flying around the corner and ran, quite literally, into me.
"Careful," I managed to spit out, steadying her on her feet. Instead of thanking me, her blue eyes dug into the core of my soul and she dragged me around the corner, away from the other students.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" She hissed.
"Huh?" Was all I could say. What was wrong with me!
"Saturday. What got into you? Why are you trying to make my life miserable?" Rory demanded, her face ablaze with anger.
Feigning confusion, I cocked my head to one side. "I'm trying to make your life miserable? I didn't know I had that kind of power over you." God, Im such an asshole sometimes. Now was not the time to start acting like a jerk.
Rory opened and closed her mouth before speaking again. "How could you sing a song like that, in front of my town? In front of people I have to deal with everyday? Now they all think theres something going on with us. You really have no idea what you did, do you?"
"You mean Dean thinks theres something going on with us, don't you?" I probed. "Because I sang a song - one that has nothing remotely to do with you or anyone else. It was just a song for God's sake. You said we had to sing, so I sang. Excuse me." I replied, cursing myself as each word tumbled out of my mouth. I was digging myself a deeper grave each time I spoke.
Snapping her mouth shut, she shook her head. "Theres no point in trying to talk to you, Tristan, is there? Everytime theres just the slightest ray of someone real beneath that cocky, stuck up exterior you wear so well, and I think, well hey, maybe there is a chance for us to be friends, your attitude and ego come rearing their ugly heads. I give up, I don't know why I bother." Rory said, stomping away when she finished. I just stared after her, suddenly numb
******
Heading out into the parking lot after school, I stopped in mid-stride, nearly choking on the gum I was chewing. It was mind-boggling, really, almost de-ja-vu. There was Farmer Dean and his shabby pickup truck, standing in the lot, waiting for Princess Rory. Only this time there was no PJ Harvey tickets or stolen books involved, just the same anger and injured heart. I guess Im a glutton for pain, because I just stood there, watching as Rory ran out to meet him, kissing him soundly on the lips, like she had before, like she did every night in my nightmares. No words were exchanged between them this time, no admittance of hatred towards me, no vows of love, but for some reason, seeing them this time hurt more. More then I care to admit.
******
Wooookaaaay.. Short, yes. More soon? Yes. Reviews? Yes. :) See ya'll.
-- Shay
