Disclaimer: Don't own any of the LoD cast, duh.

Author's Note: will no one come to the Ferret's rescue, no one? Oh how very disturbing indeed. The madness continues.

The end of chapter one saw the capture of the Pop Ferret, a minor victory on the part of the cast, who have now secured the poor author to a chair in the studio. And Ferret, well, she looks positively livid at this, for this being captured was not on her list of things to do.

Lavitz: You know what we should do with her?

Dart: Set her on fire chair and all and see if she survives?

Lavitz: No you pyromaniac, force her to do humiliating parodies like she's done to us.

Rose: No, I almost think she would enjoy it too much.

Ferret: Mm hmmph mph.

Miranda: I do like the fact that she can't spout of pointless random rants at us at the moment.

Meru: She's worse than me, and that's saying a lot.

Lloyd: No one could possibly be worse than you.

Albert: I cannot help but think that perhaps we are going about this the wrong way. Maybe if we were to sit and talk like human beings with...

Doel: Shut up you idiot. Do you honestly think that -talking- to the evil red eyed creature is going to help? No, I say we cover her in whipped cream and feed her to rabid weasels.

Shana: Is there such a thing as rabid weasels?

Doel: And then feed that, ~jabs a finger towards Shana~ to the weasels.

Shana looks utterly horrified at this and scrambles to hide behind Dart, who is, at the moment, making an attempt to light Ferret's jeans on fire.

Lloyd: Dart! No lighting her aflame! he's bargaining material!

Lavitz: Are you insane? Hell, the other authors would probably -help- us get rid of her. I mean, she so adores tormenting us Jades...

Miranda: Oh yes, and you are -so- very much adored by aahhh! What the hell is -that-?! ~points at a wall where a gigantic cricket is crawling through a wormhole portal. For some strange reason the appearance of this huge and terrifying creature sends the Ferret into a fit of muffled laughter.

Rose freezes, eyes going wide as they lock on the giant bug.

Rose: Meru. Give me your hammer.

Meru: Ewwwww. No, you can't use my hammer to squish that...that...thing.

Rose: Kongol, axe.

Kongol: Kongol no give Friend Rose axe, cricket pieces hard to clean.

Rose: ~growls and looks about for something big enough to squash the bug. Finding nothing she just gives up and storms in with her rapier~ DIE DEMON SPAWN!!!

Lloyd curses mentally, oh this would never do, never. This wasn't going according to plan at all. Zap, the giant cricket is hit with a spell which shrinks it down to the size of an m&m. The Wingly was just breathing a relieved sigh when Dart ambled up.

Dart: Oh look. A brown m&m. ~stoops down, grabs the cricket and pops it into his mouth.~ Ewww, gross I...~suddenly starts cunvulsing, dropping to the floor where he lies there twitching madly.~

Rose: Oh hell. I think he's dead...wait...where did the giant demon spawn go??

-What will happen to Dart? Will Ferret be fed to the rabid weasels after being covered in whipped cream? Will Shana share her plight? Will Rose ever get to kill her giant cricket? Will the Ferret escape and subject the cast to horrible things. And just who's side is Lloyd really on? Stay tuned to find out!!-