Disclaimer: You know, the usual blah blah blah crap.

Author's Note: Totally randomness here. But let the other author's be made to know that war has been declared between Omni Dragon and myself, we shall see now who is the better huggy, Lloyd, or -hisses- Lavitz.

Chapter Two saw the appearance of the giant cricket, Rose's lapse into insanity, and possible disention in the ranks of the Dragoons. It also revealed that there might be a sort of new dark alliance between the Wingly Lloyd, and the insanely evil author whom they have taken captive. Dart inadvertantly injested the giant cricket, mistaking it for a brown m&m.

Dart convulses and twitches there on the floor, turning multiple shades of green while all the Dragoons stand around staring down at him in dumbstruck wonder. Somewhere in the background Lloyd inches closer and closer to Ferret's chair, and the author has mysteriously gone quite silent. Suddenly, Dart ceases to twitch.

Shana: Oh my Soa! He's dead!!!

Could it be? Can the heroic Dart truly be dead? Apparently not, for suddenly his body twists and melts and blurs until a very large cricket stands in his place and chirps.

Rose: DEMON SPAWN!!! ~screams and immediately sets to trying to kill the thing, while Shana screams and tries to pull the raging woman off her would be boyfriend.~

Shana: Rose! Rose no! Rose it's DART! Stop! Rose please!

And somewhere in the background, Doel and Miranda are forced to cling to each other to keep from toppling over in laughter. This, of course, creates the perfect distraction for dear Lloyd, who lunges for the chair and slashes through the ropes binding the author to the chair. ~FLASH~ A brilliant blinding flash of light washes across the room, and behold! The Ferret is free once more! The black jeans and black lace top have been replaced by a wickedly evil floor length dress of black leather and silk, complete with the black leather corset top. All eyes turn to the raging author, except for Rose.

Rose: ~stomping on the now long dead cricket with her wicked boot heel~ Die. Die. Die.Die.Diediediediediediedie.

Ferret: ~clears her throat and then snaps her fingers, and poof, the lifeless cricket is replaced with the lifeless body of Dart.~ If I might have your attention please?

Rose freezes, shifting her gaze slowly to the very evil looking Ferret, who, now, at the moment, has little flickers of flame dancing about her head. All gulp, except Dart, who is, of course, very much dead.

Ferret: Now then, I think it's time to go about dealing out punishment to all of you for your blatant ignoring of authority. Now, some of you wanted to set me on fire, but of course, the dreamer of that little scheme is dead. Then of course, there was Doel, who wanted to feed me to rabid weasels. Hmm, now there's a concept.

Doel: ~looks a little paniced and starts running...but, too late. With a snap of the Ferret's fingers, the emperor is covered in gooey whipped cream, and a pack of raging rabid weasels are chasing him~ No! Nooooooo! Aaaaaahhhhhh! I didn't mean it!

Ferret: ~fixes Shana with a nasty look~ And you can join him. ~Zap, and there goes Shana, screaming her head off, running alongside Doel, being chased by rabid weasels and leaving a trail of whipped cream.~ Now then, Miranda, what oh what can we do with you? Oh, I know. ~another evil smile and Miranda is poofed off to some hidden ball room where she will be forced to dance with carbon copies to Dart until Ferret takes pity on her and releases her.~ Hmm, now then, who's next. Oh yes. Meru, dear Meru. now, what on earth should I do with you hmm? Since you said I'm even worse than you? Oh, I know. ~Poof, and there goes Meru, off to freeze her ass off in some artic winterland. Ferret's steely gaze wanders about some more, falling on Haschel, who she poofs off and away with a wave of her hand, the same for Kongol...which leaves...the JADES.~ Oh my my my. What have we here? Just everybody's favorite little Dragoons. Hmm, yes, the Jades. You three, I think, shall be my personal servants now.~ Snap go the fingers, and instantly Albert, Lavitz, and Greham are clapped in chains, complete with iron collar and chains leading to the manacles.~

Lavitz: ~fixes Lloyd with an evil look~ Traitor.

Lloyd: Hardly. You should learn to recognize an elaborate plan when you see one. Very nicely done Ferret my Dear, I could hardly have thought up better myself.

Ferret: Don't push it Lloydikins. You did, afterall, -help- them. Now -sit- . ~a barked order, and one the Wingly scrambles to reply, to take a seat in the massive onyx throne that springs up from the floor. Ferret promptly drapes herself across his lap and fixes the three Jades with a dark look~ Hmm, the other author's won't be pleased, but maybe I can aution you all off.

Dart: ~the dead body twitches~

Lloyd: One could always fetch FiFi.

The Jades: NO!

-Oh no! The Ferret is free now. Will she be recaptured? Will other authors spring to the aid of their beloved Dragoons? Or will the Ferret reign forever from her black throne, using the cursed Jades as her personal servants for all time. And what about the twitching Dart, is he really dead? And of Miranda, can she survive the ballroom? What will happen next? Will the giant cricket return?! Stay tuned!!!-

(Oh, by the by, the Ferret is currently searching for volunteers to stage a rescue of the Jades and other Dragoons, email if interested, or state in review.)