Requested through reviews
Author: Me, well technically the keyboard wrote it…but it was my idea and my (rather crude) imagination that came up with it…yay me!
Title: More Harry Potter Limericks- Requested through reviews
Disclaimer: Don't have to do another one! (Pulls tongues at JK and moons lawyers) BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Goes insane and smashes thing up) I can pretend to own SNAPE! SNAPE I TELL YA! (Gets shot in the neck with a tranquilliser dart) ohhhhhhhhhhh…down I go (Collapses into unconscious mass and is carried off in a straight-jacket)
Authors Note: (After regaining consciousness) Basically this is more limericks (Looks around suspiciously and rubs neck) Stupid frikkin darts. I wrote these pieces of weirdness because people requested them…to be honest I can't believe people like the original ones as a lot of guys and gurls I know think my mind is warped. So, if you reviewed thanks a bunch and this is for you (Big Grin) Ouch (Is shot by another dart) This is taking the piss, I was being sane, you fucking moronsssssssssssssss…(Collapses again)
Fred & George-"They enjoy playing practical jokes
'Cos they're great and hilarious blokes
But what you don't know
Is they enjoy a good blow
On some fat Jamaican grass smokes"
(For all you innocent –cough- naïve –cough- people, the 'fat Jamaican grass smokes' = spliffs…weed…pot…happy grass etc)
Ginny Weasley-"It's well known she fancies Potter
One smile is enough to besot her
With her long red hair
Her heart flutters in the air
In a trap of lust he's got her"
(A/N: GOD THAT WAS GAY! I don't like this…I'll try and think up another…sorry!)
Dobby the House Elf-"He pretends to enjoy peoples socks
But really he's into guys Jocks*
He gets high off a sniff
Loves a good whiff
Dobby's obsessed with men's cocks"
(Jocks*= Jockstraps…if you don't know what it means, look it up –tosses you a dictionary-)
Alastor Moody aka Mad Eye Moody-"He's getting paranoid in his old age
People say he ought to be in a cage
He likes to turn Malfoy
To ferret from boy
Whenever he gets in a rage"
(A/N: Moody is one of my favourites, but in the original limericks I couldn't think of a poem that would do him justice…the ferret moment is bloody hilarious, the best moment of the goblet of fire)
Moaning Myrtle-"Never known enough to be missed
I doubt she's ever been kissed
I know that she's dead
Countless tears she does shed
But she's sleeping where people have pissed"
Crabbe and Goyle-"If Hogwarts ran outta food they'd throw fits
They probably have enormous man tits
They are Draco Malfoy's henchmen
Slim fast couldn't help them
'Cos they're a couple of stupid dip shits"
Percy Weasley-"Percy Weasley has never been a slouch
Has enormous respect for Barty Crouch
He likes to constantly moan
Makes his opinion well known
Does he know he's a boring old grouch?"
Neville Longbottom-"He's always been dim and slow
So in Potions Snape makes a show
Not the sharpest knife in the draw
But he's definitely not a bore
Neville Longbottom's a secret man-hoe"
Peter Pettigrew aka Wormtail-"Once a friend of Lupin, Potter and Black
But he chose to turn his back
He was supposed to be their mate
What he did makes me irate
I wish I could cut off his sack!"
(Sack= Scrotum…muwahahahahahahahahahaha! Reproduce now, bastard!)
Authors Note: Once again, this is the end…it'd be much appreciated if you reviewed…and if you don't I'll burn down Hogwarts and kill everyone! (Evil Grin) Except Snape of course, I'll warn him! So review dammit, don't be lazy, it's on your way out! (Dart is fired but Johnny manages to dodge it) Right you Shitbag (Chases guy who fired dart and shoves it up his ass) hehe!
Oh yeah, any more requests just ask, and I'll do them!
REVIEW!!! Follow the arrow!
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