Disclaimer: I don't any of the characters in this story that appear in the hit syndicated TV show, Dark Angel, which are owned by James Cameron.

Summary: The Dark Angel characters are stranded on a desert island! (Very original, I know)

Credit: I got this idea from Survival of the Elves by Im a Brandybuck. Several themes come from this, and I highly suggest you read it since it's ten times better than I could ever manage, but I will not carbon copy such an awesome story.

Survival of the DA Characters

By

Brin

"The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad." - Salvador Dali (1904-1989)

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Introduction by cheesy man in even cheesier suit resembling Logan:

Hello everyone, and welcomed to Survival of the DA Characters, a horrifying tale of seven characters from the same TV show picked to be stranded on a deserted island for thirty days. How will they survive? Will romance blossom in the blistering sun? Will they be able to refrain from killing each other? Will Logan ever go away? Let's find out, with Survival of the DA Characters

Episode 2: Alec's Diary

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DAY ONE

I wonder, if it gets hot enough, will Max take off her shirt? Damn. Even worse… will Normal take off his? Bad mental image. Bad Alec, bad. Deep breaths. In and out. There you go. I'll go looking for firewood.

DAY TWO

Something's wrong with these people! Normal's set up… a shrine? To me? Ick. I hope he knows I can see him standing behind that tree staring at me. Stupid Zack. I can see him too. He's on top of a cliff trying to look ruggedly handsome, or so Logan says. Speaking of Logan, he's been up in that coconut tree since we got here. Ha, maybe learning to live like a monkey will loosen him up a bit. I see the resemblance between him and a chimp. Ha, ha!

DAY FIVE

Mole's got it bad for Logan. Ha, ha! I tripped in his hole the other day and he nearly ripped my head off, all the time shooting quirky glances at the chimp… er, Logan. That damned Logan! Hit me in the eye with a coconut when I was trying to save his manly friend! Now I've got a shiner… but it's not as bad as Max's sunburn! Ha, ha! By the way, the other night I heard strange sounds while I was sleeping. Max tells me it was Normal in a hula skirt. Bad images! Speaking of images, Logan told Joshua that if he could draw a sixty-by-eighty-foot portrait of the Seattle cityscape, he'd give him a biscuit. Poor, mislead Josh. He's been practicing his farm animal sounds. I think Max's freaked out.

DAY TWELVE

HA! LOGAN LOOKS LIKE A LIVING, BREATHING CONDOM! AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!

DAY THIRTEEN

Ahem, if you'll excuse my previous entry, but… IT WAS JUST SO FUNNY!

DAY FOURTEEN

I'm fine now. I promise… HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! JOSHUA CALLED HIM A MY-SIZE CONDOM! AHAHAHAHAHA!

DAY NINETEEN

Was nearly raped by Normal last night. Very shook up. Joshua delusional after drinking too much seawater. Logan deranged maniac.

DAY TWENTY-THREE

Oh gee. Is there a club now or something? Now Logan (HUMAN CONDOM! HAHAHAHA!) has made himself his own grass skirt and lei. He keeps telling Max how great it is that he made his own lei, and I don't even have one. I threw a coconut at him when Max's back was turned, and he attacked me. Several scratches on arm. Logan fights like girl. Later, Logan made up… Choobi, the Guardian Coconut. He carved Choobi's face with his fingernails. (Note to self: Call Logan a girly-man.) Josh was frolicking across the sand, totally disillusioned and imagining he was in a field of wildflowers, and fell into Mole's massive hole. Mole called Joshua an idiot mongrel and Normal and Josh ran away into the forest, Joshua screaming all the while, "YOU'LL NEVER CATCH BUMPER THE RABBIT!" Yep, it's all great fun here. Oh yeah, I poked Zack while he was meditated on a dead tree, and the guy flipped out. I told him I could cancel all his phone lines and he chickened out. Max doesn't think I'd do it. (Note to self: Call Zack "Zackie-poo" to his face.)

DAY TWENTY-SEVEN

Ah, yes. Zackie-poo broke his elbow and said Choobi did it on purpose to test our devotion to him. What a freak. So now we have to go catch the exact type of fish Zackie-poo wants. This sucks!

DAY TWENTY-EIGHT

Ran into Josh and Normal out in the forest whilst avoiding Zackie-poo. Very creeped out. They've molded a life-size model of me out of chewed tree sap. Found out where my other pair of boxer briefs went. The life-size model is gratuitous in the unmentionables department. I'm disturbed. (Note to self: NEVER get name stitched onto boxer briefs again). Zackie-poo whined about not having his own cult, so he made one all about Max. It's called "Maxaholics." Logan is vice president, only because he couldn't kick Zack's ass. I stole Choobi while they were arguing and used him as a soccer ball. Logan crying. (Note to self: Pass out flyers back home about Logan crying.)

DAY THIRTY

Met strange man with pet volleyball. He said he'd been stranded here for years. Hm. How resilient of him. When I told him we were going to get rescued shortly, he said he was going to get his stuff and be right back. Zack launched his volleyball into the ocean, though, and he ran away crying. Hm. (Note to self: Invest in volley balls.) Saw Josh in a grass skirt. Not pretty. Normal commented on how "hot" my stubble is. I think that's my name they have written on their foreheads, but I'm not sure. Hm. Mole's hole got too deep. Ha, ha! He was screaming about his one true love (Mr. Girly Man) should come save him. I convinced Logan to try and get him out, then pushed him in. Ha, ha! It was great fun until the cheesy announcer guy said we couldn't leave them there. Damn. While we were going to the chopper, the wind blew up Joshua and Normal's skirts. (Note to self: Poke out eyeballs when home.)

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A/N: Not that funny. I didn't have much to work with on the Alec front, but the other ones will give you a glimpse into the unexplained. MWAHAHAHAHA!