Goku and Vegeta Go to Hogwarts
by Mako-Shadows
Disclaimer: See first chapter
Chapter 4: Sorting and Destruction of Teachers
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Well the crew finally arrived at Hogwarts and Goku and Vegeta took the boat over to the castle with the First years. Vegeta got annoyed with Goku gawking at the bright lights of the castle and rocking the boat every time he turned around to point at something else so Vegeta pushed him out of the boat. Goku thought Vegeta was playing a game so he pulled him in after him. So that was how Professor McGonagall found to soaking wet saiyans outside on the doorstep of Hogwarts shoving each other and generally making a mess. Greatly annoyed with their antics she gave them each a detention before they had even stepped into the castle.
Once McGonagall let them into the castle Goku was once again gawking at the ceiling this time. Vegeta was also impressed with the ceiling but he was a Saiyan Prince and would never let that show. Soon the Sorting Hat was brought in and it sang its song and soon the first years were being sorted. Vegeta thought this an awfully stupid way to decide anything and snorted with laughter through it all, especially when someone was sorted into Hufflepuff. Ron had told him that Hufflepuff's were a bunch of duffers, a word he found hilarious. It took five minutes for him to stop laughing at the word duffer and forever after it would send him into uncontrollable gales of laughter whenever he heard it.
"Goku." Professor McGonagall said calling him up to the hat. He came up and awkwardly sat down on the little stool. Professor McGonagall stood and tried to put the Sorting Hat on his head. It took her quite awhile having to shove it over his hair but she finally got in on. She sat down dreading when she would have to put it over the other one's hair.
'Ah Goku is it? Where should I put you? Definitely not Ravenclaw.' 'Why not Ravenclaw?' Goku asked the silly talking hat. ' Because you're dumb.' 'My son Gohan he's real smart. Would you put him in Ravenclaw?' 'Never you mind. Can't put you in Slytherin.' 'Why not?' Goku whined. 'You're not evil you moron! I shall put in GRYFFINDOR!' 'Oh thank you hat.' Goku cried as he took the hat off and went to the Gryffindor table.
So Goku sat with Harry, Ron and Hermione and waited for the sorting to get done. He had already been sorted and that was hungry work and was waiting for the food. So more people were sorted and soon it was Vegeta's turn. McGonagall called him up and spent five minutes trying to jam the hat onto Vegeta's head. Soon though it was shoved the hat was a little more bent than usual but well I suppose that is only to be expected.
'Ah I know where to put you. I shall put you in Slytherin.' 'What!? I demand you put me in Gryffindor with Kakkarot! If you don't I shall tear you into a million pieces you knave!' 'GRYFFINDOR!' The Sorting Hat shouted meekly. Vegeta got up and strutted over to the Gryffindor table.
"Now let's eat." Vegeta said and got ever so angry when Dumbledore started to give his speech instead of letting them eat. Bullying Sorting Hats was after all very hungry work. Soon though the food appeared and just as quickly disappeared from all tables. 'Chew Attack!' was what Goku and Vegeta yelled before they set to work eating everyone's dinner. Needless say a lot of students had to go to bed with an empty stomach.
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First day of classes.
Defence Against the Dark Arts
All the students arrived late for class as they had to go the long way around because Vegeta had got mad at a staircase that had moved before he got and so he destroyed it. The DADA was getting a bit miffed when after 15 minutes Goku and Vegeta had still not arrived. 10 minutes they flew into the classroom through the wall.
"Detention! 50 points from Gryffindor!" The DADA teacher yelled.
"DETENTION! I AM A SAIYAN PRINCE YOU DO NOT GIVE ME DETENTION!" Vegeta yelled destroyed the first DADA teacher Frieza style.
"Vegeta I think you killed him." Goku whispered.
"He gave us detention!" Vegeta whispered back.
"Good point. He must of been a member of the Ginyu Force in disguise. I mean who else would give us detention?" Goku whispered.
"Our wives." Vegeta whispered. Even though the two were whispering the rest of the class heard. And worse yet all Goku could see in his head was Chi-Chi and Bulma yelling at them.
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Second day of classes.
Potions class
Snape had to wait 5 minutes before the Saiyans arrived through the door this time. This was not because they got but because Potions was right after breakfast and Goku and Vegeta wouldn't stop eating until all the food disappeared. When they arrived Snape saw that they weren't wearing their wizarding hats and while that wasn't against the rules, Snape wanted to give them a detention but after what happened the last time they got a detention he was just a bit wary. So Snape magicked two hats to his classroom and told them to put them on.
"But we can't." Goku whined. "It'll mess up our hair."
"I don't care." Snape snarled and the two Saiyans were forced to put on the hats by the rest of the Griffindors. Vegeta had his shoved onto the top of his hair and Goku's was on one of his spikes. They were both held in place by spellotape. The Gryffindors made them keep them on so they wouldn't cause anymore points to be lost.
Defense Against the Dark Arts
Goku and Vegeta entered the class on time. The DADA teacher laughed at how ridiculous they looked. Vegeta was not pleased and sent an energy bomb the teachers way. DADA was cancelled for the rest of the day after the teacher was pronounced dead.
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Third Day of classes
Breakfast in the Great Hall.
This DADA Professor didn't even make it to the start of classes. It was a female teacher and was a bit grossed out by the Saiyans eating habits. She made the big mistake of mentioning this to our fabourite Saiyan Prince. When he heard her insulting his mother for not teaching him any manners well let's just say a nice destructo disc came her way. And DADA was again cancelled.
Divination Class
Professor Trelawney was looking into her crystal ball when the Saiyans arrived. They just happened to be standing in front of the crystal ball and the batty old Professor saw them inside of it. As she always enjoyed predicting death she decided that their appearance in her crystal ball meant they were going to die. When she told them this they just looked at each other and shrugged and said 'Yeah we know, that always happens.'
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Fourth day of classes.
Care of Magical Creatures
Hagrid asked the class what they had done during the summer. Goku told him that his son had found a dragon and he had convinced his wife to let him keep it. Hagrid was very much impressed and wrote down that evening what would be the two saiyans final mark because they had told him such awesome stories about magical creatures they had seen. Their final mark would be 100%. This was good because at least it assured them that would pass one class.
Defense Against the Dark Arts
The new DADA professor was using a Boggart. When it was Vegeta's turn to go up against it turned into a pink shirt. Vegeta started to panic yelling 'Oh the horrors, the memories, the scars, damn you Bulma! Damn you!'. So the teacher was obliged to step in and save our 'fearless hero'. Then he mentioned to Vegeta that his claim of fearlessness was a lie. And in reply Vegeta destroyed him.
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Fifth day of classes
Defense Against the Dark Arts.
This DADA teacher lasted longer than all the others. He actually made it to the end of class. Unfortunately after assigning lots of homework he and all the homework was disintegrated. Vegeta did not like homework.
"Vegeta that's the fifth teacher you've destroyed this week. DETENTION!" Professor Dumbledore yelled popping out of fat air. Goku started to protest because he didn't want to be lonely while Vegeta was in detention. So Professor Dumbledore being the kind man he is gave Goku a detention as well.
Later that night in detention.
They were cleaning the awards and Goku found one that said the detention record belonged to Sirius Black 1978. Goku was very excited when he realised that he and Vegeta both had only one more detention to go before they broke Sirius' record of 532 detention in a year. Vegeta gloated and started to plan on writing to Sirius and telling that they had broke his record in less than a week. Vegeta was started laughing insanely when he thought of how Sirius might cry ot find out his record was broken.
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AN- And that is that chapter. Sorry it took so long. The next one should be up next week if I don't run out of orange juice.
