DiSclAiMeR: STILL DON'T own anything...except for Jo, but she's me soo!
a/n replies:
Bell-chan: HAHAHA!!! I read your story about Miroku going to the different series and it's funny! In fact, I stole your idea here, but I am giving you credit for it! GO CHECK OUT HER STORY!!!! *makes everyone get in line to read story* Sorry no review for it, my computer was acting up! Anyway, thanks for reviewing!
Kaylana: Wow. I think you feel the way about Miroku the way I do about Van! LOL(you'll see in this story!) Thanks for such a long reivew! It was fun to read!
aearoniel: Of course, Inu-yasha won't become human if he loses...so where's my plot huh? I'm wondering if anyone out there has figured it out yet....O_o...Thanks for your review!!!
Gakoma: Hmmm...I don't know...some of the characters I have gotten I'd really like to work with and so I don't know...I may put in 5 contestants on the show instead of just 3...Sango may or may not get him...I just don't know...Anyway! Thanks for the review!
Tripp: Thanks so much for your review! It was very encouraging!
Right now, I have 13 lucky girls (-HA! IRONIC) lined up to be featured in the next chapter. I think 20 would make a good number to work with. Please, if you come upon this story anew, don't think it's too late to get in on the fun! Just review! *waves* Thanks!
P.S. since I haven't updated in a while, I made this chapter extrememley long *winks*
And now Jo proudly presents...
Chatper 3: Part One- The Applicant
(Earlier) A girl with straight , mahogany hair sits on top of a desk in a cubicle. She's wearing a pink pencil skirt with a pink blazer to match. Next to her, working hard on some paper work, is a guy in a pair of khaki slacks, a red collar button up shirt, and a pair of glasses.
The boy takes off his glasses and lets out a huge sigh. "I don't know what to do; we tried the Dating Game marathon, but that didn't work. The ratings keep going down and nothing that I can think of is making the numbers go the opposite direction," he says leaning back in his chair and folding his arms across his chest.
The girl hops off the desk and rubs the guy's black hair. "Well, let's shoot for a younger audience; that way I can lose the news anchor look," she says taking off the granny shoes that perfectly matched the pink outfit. "AND try someone who would cause a little bit of contreversy!" she yells while walking off with shoes in hand. She walks a little distance before a loud noise is made.
*SPLAT*
"I'm ok!" she yells nervously. "Just me..being spastic....stupid panty hose!!!!" she grumbles as she jerks up the skirt and pulls off the thigh highs. The boy blushes and quickly turns his head the other way.
The boy then eyes the stack of "NO DEFINATELY NOT!!!" applicants. He lets out another sigh and grabs the stack. "It's the shows only hope," he says exasperatedly as he looks at the "YOU DON'T HAVE A CHANCE IN HECK TO BE ON THIS SHOW!" applicant. "Hmn..." he leans over the one on the top of the stack. "I guess he's a decent looking guy...he seems to have a nice personality...but he's a monk...monks aren't supposed to date..."
*SNATCH*
"PERFECT!" says the girl form before now in a pair of low slung belted blue jeans and a pink peaseant blouse shirt. She looked completely her age now. "I mean he's evertything a girl could ask for!...cute personality, good looking-" The boy shoots her an unhappy glare. She rolls her eyes and pinches his cheeks while saying, "you're still cuter!" She then goes back to looking at the applicant, "hey! he's a monk...I thought monks weren't supposed to date though!" "I know that!" he says getting irratated.
"He's contreversial, young, and a lady's man...he's just what the show needs!" continues the girl. "Alright already," sighs the boy. "ALRIGHT!" screams the girl loudly. "The next contestant on the dating game is..." she glances down on the paper to find a name. "MIROKU!!!"
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
"Okay, see here's the deal," says Miroku explaining his elaborate plan to Sango. "If they find out that we know each other, they won't let you on the show. So for you to apply you can't act like you know me.." Miroku says very passionately. "Oh," says Sango kinda disheartend now. "And the only person that you can tell about this is Kagome; she'll help you get in."
Sango threw Miroku a look. Miroku choked. "What's the look for?" he said nervously. "You're acting really, really suspicious," Sango said making her eyes nothing but slits. "Uh-oh," Miroku thought, "she's figured me out! Oh man, she'll really kick my butt for this one! C'mon, think Miroku...do something smooth."
He grabbed Sanog up in his arms and leaned her back. Sango was caught completely off her guard. She reacted completely on instinct and struggled to get away from him. In the process of all the fidgeting, Miroku was slowly losing his grip on her. As Sango started to fall backwards, she grabbed onto the first thing she saw. That thing just so happened to be Miroku's beads that kept the wind tunnel closed.
*BUMP*
Sango looked on in sheer fear as she slowly began to realize what she had in her hand. She then looked up at Miroku who had fallen on top of her. She blushed amd glanced down at the kneeling monk's hand that possesed the wind tunnel. The ground was starting to dissappear.
"Quick Miroku!" Sango said lifting her hand up from the ground clasping the beads. "Put them back on!" she called as the wind around them began to get heavy. Little did she know just how heavy the wind was; the beads were sucked straight from her hand!
The two looked like they were playing a game of twister that had gone horribly wrong. "Masjfljfl askljfl sdjflsdg iihgfo!" Sango cried out form underneath him. "What?" said Miroku. "I can't understand you!" He dissmissed the comment that had come from under him; he'd just assume that it was a death threat as usual and once again went back to trying to grab the beads. They were now stuck on the tree branch just above them. He even thought about playing around some before getting the beads because he was enjoying the postition he was in.
The two knew that if they didn't get those beads soon though, they'd be sucked into the wind tunnel forever.
Just as Miroku was about to reach the beads though, Sango had managed to push Miroku off of her.(along with the help of a gust of wind) Now Miroku was flying around with an angry look on his face, arms folded, screaming at Sango at how he'd almost had the beads.
"SANGO!!!! YOU CAN GET THE STUPID BEADS NOW!!!"
Sango was also flying around and each time she flew past the beads made a grab for them. "Mi-*reach*-ro-*reach*ku!!!!!*reach* You could at least HELP!!! IT'S YOUR STUPID WIND TUNNEL!!!" *reach*
Then Sango had (what she thought to be) a genius of an idea. She would send her boomerang after the beads and it would just fly right back into her hands! ...but that only made things worse. The vortex of the wind was too strong for it and now it was in the process of flying by nearly chopping their heads off. "SANGO!!!" screamed Miroku again dodging the boomerang. "What now?" she called to Miroku innocently. "I DON'T KNOW YOU'RE THE ONE WHO THREW THE DEATHSYTHCE HERE!" he said ducking from the boomerang again. "WELL! Do something!" Sango cried angry frustrated, and running out of ideas. Miroku just shook his head and as he passed by the tree shoved his staff into it's bark. He then easily valuted himself onto the branch and grabbed the beads.
*WHOOSH*THUD*
Sango was back on the ground again. "MIROKU!" she yelled angrily looking at a nearby tree that had been uprooted. "It's not exactly a 2x4, but it'll do!"(thanks LJ!^-^) She picked it up and threw it at the monk sitting on the tree. *BONK* *THUD*
Miroku fell off the tree and Sango ripped into him.
"YOU COULD HAVE AT LEAST WAITED UNTIL I WAS ON A TREE LIMB TOO! AND YOU COULD'VE GOTTEN OFF OF ME! I COULDN'T BREATHE! AND YOU COULD'VE GOTTEN THE BEADS ALL ALONG WITH THAT STUPID STAFF OF YOURS! WHAT WERE YOU PLANNING ON DOING ANYWAY? RAPE ME? I DON'T THINK SO!"
*BONK* She hits him with the tree agian.
"Ouch!" squeaks Miroku. "Look," he says, "I was just going to do this!" He grabs Sango by her shoulders giving her a small kiss on the cheek. Sango turns a scarlet red.
"Oh..." Sango says feeling really sheepish. "YEA, OH...it's like you think I'm a pervert or something..."Miroku says sarcastically. Sango looks at the ground. "I'm sorry Miroku..." she says queitly. "Yea, well I feel sorry for me too!" Miroku says with a laugh.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
The two finally arrive at Kagome's and are greeted by her.
"Are you guys ok? You look like you've been through a hurricane or something..." she says with a concerned look.
Miroku lets out a huge laugh and Sango sucker punches him. "IT ISN'T FUNNY! LOSING YOUR LIFE TO A BOTTOMLESS PIT! ...hmph..." Sango says.
"Huh?" Kagome says confused.
*ring*ring* *ring*ring*
"Hello?" Kagome says answering the phone. "Yes, he's right here," she says extending her arm to Miroku to take the phone.
"Hello?" he says.
"HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!~" says the girl on the other end very loudly. Miroku jerks the phone away from his ear and makes a face. "Sheez, she's loud!" he thinks. "MY NAME IS JO AND I'M FROM THE DATING GAME SHOW! WE WANT AN INTERVIEW WITH YOU BUT I'M PRETTY SURE YOU HAVE A SHOW!"
Miroku smiles and pulls the phone back away from his ear at least 6 inches while Jo continues to explain. "CAN YOU COME TODAY? WE'D LIKE TO TAPE A SHOW ASAP!"
"Sure, be there in an hour or so..." Miroku says wanting to go gloat to Inu-Yasha. "GREAT"! yells Jo on the other end so loudly, it startles Miroku ane he throws the phone away from his ear.
"HEeEeY!!!! What'd you do that for?!?!? Grandpa just bought this!" Kagome says very upset. She gets on all fours looking underneath the couch to find the phone. "I did it so I could do this..." Miroku says with a smile while looking at Kagome's butt. *Pinch* *Thud*
"oooouch!!!! ERGGGGGHHHHHHHHH! MIROKU!!!" trying to get out from under the couch to repay the favor. Instead, she wound up hitting her head and became very dazed.
"Miroku!" Sango screamed as he turned around in enough time to see her boomerang hit him on the head.
*THUD*
"On second thought, maybe I'll go gloat to Inu-Yasha and LEAVE..." he says quite wearily. "That would definately be a really, REALLY good idea..." says Kagome still rubbing her butt. "That's right!" Sango says waving her boomerang even more. Miroku slowly backed away from the two and out the back door to find Inu-Yasha.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Inu-Yasha was outside in Kagome's backyard with Shippo. He looked like he was screaming at the poor thing to do his bidding as usual.
Miroku simply walked up and stood with a huge smirk on his face. "WHAT IS IT MORTAL!?!" he screamed at Miroku. "The Dating Game rep called; I have a show! I WIN dogbreath!" Miroku says triumphantly. "Feh...you can't even remember the bet..." Inu-Yasha says folding his arms. "What'd ya' mean? I got on the show!" Miroku says angrily. "No, our bet was that you could get on and KEEP the girl you picked...hehe...looks like a pink tutu and bunny ears for you my friend..." Inu-Yasha says in a teasing voice.
Miroku sticks his nose in the air and says, "I'm going now...see ya' dog brains..." "OH NO!" Inu-Yasha yells. "I'm coming with you to make sure you dont' cheat!" he says with a smug face.
"Cheat?" Miroku says losing some color. "YEA, cheat...you know, not play fair!!!" Inu-Yasha says stuffing a struggling Shippo under his robe.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
"YAY YAY YAY!!! He's here!" says the girl in the blue jeans and pink shirt jumping up and down enthusiastically. The boy with the glasses throws her another glare and she runs over and hugs him. "I SWEAR..." she says rolling her eyes, "you're sexier than he is!" she says with a gigle. The boy reluctantly hugs her back, as if he still doesn't believe her. Then, Miroku and Inu-Yasha enter in the building.
"Um...."Miroku mutters, "I'm looking for Jo..."
"THAT WOULD BE MEEEEEEEE!!!!!" says the girl in the peasent blouse in a squeaky little girl voice still latched on to the boy in the red shirt. "THAT WAS MY EAR JO!!!!" he screams. "Sorry!" Jo sheepishly says giving him another hug.
Miroku looks at Jo and a smile spreads across his face. "SO...you're Jo..." he says while bending on knee and kissing her hand. "Oooohhh," Jo says with a giggle. The boy in the red shirt stiffens in his seat, ready to pounce on Miroku. Miroku then looks up and says, "will you bear my child?"
"DAAAAHHHH!!! FREAK!" Jo says flailing her arms around and jumping into the air. The boy in the red shirt takes his que and catches her before she hits the ground. "Don't talk to MY girl like that, please..." he says as an order more than a request. Inu-Yasha is just laughing it up.
Jo then notices Inu-Yasha's ears. "Oh wow," she says jumping out of the boy's arms. "Would ya' look at those?" she says in amazement as she pulls and tugs at the ears. Inu-Yasha rolls his eyes and lets out a, "feh." "OH! OH! OH! I GET IT!!! HE'S A DOG!!! HOW CUTE!!!" she says while petting him on the head. Inu-Yasha folds his arms and gets rather irratated. "Dude, she's your girl," he says to the boy with the glasses, "if you don't want me to hurt her, I suggest you get her off me!" "Jo," he says motioning for her to come back to him. "Oh, just one more pet! He's soooo cute!" she says petting him one last time. "DO IT AGAIN, AND I RIP YOUR LUNGS OUT!!!" he yells at Jo.
Jo backs away and looks at him with a certain defiance. "EXCUSE YOU?" she says with the hand on the hip, weight shifted to one leg, and the pointer finger waving. The boy with the glasses comes from behind and hugs her while dragging her back away from Inu-Yasha. He talks to her for a moment and she begins to calm down. He then turns to Inu-Yasha and says, "she really doesn't mean anything by it..." Inu-Yasha looks the boy up and down and then says, "hey- take those glasses off..." The boy blinks but, does as he is told. "Hey! I know you! Well, not really, but you're Van Fanel, from the Vision of Escaflowne!"
Jo appears behind Van giving him a huge hug and in a squeaky little girl voice says, "I KNOW AND ISN'T HE THE CUTEST!!!" Van just smacks his hand on his forehead. "Please don't bring up the series..." he says with great dread. Inu-Yasha doesn't hear him though. "Wait a second, something isn't right..." Inu-Yasha mumbles.
"HEY everyone!" says a familar voice. It's Kagome. "Hey Kagome!" yells Miroku, now happy to have someone who liked him around. Kagome looks at the girl about to squeeze Van to death with a confused look. "Who's she?" she asks Inu-Yasha. Inu-Yasha just ignores her and says, "I thought you wound up with that other girl...what's her name...H-h-Hi-"
Van's eyes get huge and he starts waving his arms around. "NO DON'T SAY IT!" he yells with Jo still hanging on him. He then clasps his hands over Inu-Yasha's mouth and says, "whatever you do...don't say the H-word to her..." He looks at Inu-Yasha in sheer fear.
"What? Hell?" asks Kagome.
"No..." Inu-Yasha says rolling his eyes. It would be like Kagome not to know the greatest anime series of all time, besides, their own, that is.
"What, horny?" Miroku says while his eys light up.
Kagome rolls her eyes. "IS THAT ALL you think about?"
"Well, what could it be then?" Miroku says very pensively.
"I can't belive you haven't seen this goregeously animated, beautifully scored, heart wrenching, cliff hanging, storytelling ANIME!" yells Inu-Yasha. "It's HITOMI!!! You FREAKS!" yells Inu-Yasha. Van slaps his forehead in disgust. He then starts to rub his head and mumbles, "I can't believe you just said that..."
Jo finally lets go of Van and looks at Inu-Yasha with a wild fire in her eyes. "WHAT did you say?"
"Hi-to-mi!" Inu-Yasha says getting angry.
"THERE IS NO HITOMI! SHE'S FICTIONAL! THERE IS ONLY ME! VAN KNOWS ONLY ME! JO!" she says stepping on Inu-Yasha's foot in a pair of stilletos and then sucker punching him.
"HeEeEeY!" yells Kagome. "You can't do that to MY Inu-Yasha!"
"YOUR Inu-Yasha!!!! What do you mean Your Inu-Yasha!!!!" says Inu-Yasha while fighting off a rabid Jo.
Jo then stops fighting with Inu-Yasha and looks at Kagome. "I'm not even in my guy's series, but at least I wound up with him!"
"Oh that's it!" Kagome says grabbing a bow and arrow, which just happened to be handy.
Jo grabs Van's old Fanelian sword off the wall display. "Bring it on, girlie!!!!" she says after swinging it around a couple of times.
Van grabs Inu-Yasha and Miroku and rushes them into the next room. After they are in, he shuts the door and locks it. Miroku leans foward out of his chair and looks at the shadows passing by. "Will those two be ok?" he says while watching the puff of smoke shoot out arrows, swords, hand grenades, ect.
"In about ten minuets..." Van says very flatly. "Happens all the time; they are girls, they don't like to fight...they'll wind up crying about how mean we men are to them and then they'll apologize to each other and be best friends..."
"Hey...you really understand women, don't you?" Miroku says very surprised. "Why do you think I have a job like this and not the one I had?" Van says in a very dry tone. "I learned everything I need to know about women from that fickle girl, Hi-...well you know ..."
Van then takes out Miroku's papers. "Ok, standard stuff we have to do to cover our tails..."
"Alright..."
"1) How many people have you slept with?"
"How many?"
"Yea, like how many?" Van says raising and eyebrow. Miroku squirms in his seat. "Uhhhh....why do you ask?" Inu-Yasha gets a smirk on his face. "Don't tell me that you have a big goose egg as your number, Miroku!!!"
"I just need to know so we can get on to number 2..."
"Umm..." Miroku squeaks, "0."
"I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT!!!" Inu-Yasha says while doing the I'm right dance. "You've always acted too pissy and wussy to have gotten some in the past..." He continues doing the I'm right dance while Van continues the drill.
"2) You have no STD's then, right?"
"Right," Miroku says with a sigh.
"3) Does age matter in the applicant?"
"Nope," Miroku says letting out a sigh.
"No, he's Lester, Lester, Child Molester!" says Inu-Yasha peeking his head over the chair.
"SHUDDDAP!" Miroku screams pushing his head back.
"I knew this guy was sleezy; can't ever trust the men of the cloth like him..." Van thinks to himself. "Or Knights of Heaven for that matter!" (-Esca Humour! bwahahahahaaa! ALLEN HATERS UNITE!!!!^.^)
"4) Anything the girl should know before she dates you?"
"Ummm...nope" Miroku says with a pensive look
"Yuh huh!!!! He's got his family's curse! It's a bottomless pit in his hand look!!!" Inu-Yasha says starting to unravel the beads. "NNO!" Miroku says shoving Inu-Yasha into the wall. "Errrrggg!!!" Inu-Yasha mumbles something and Van simply shakes his head. "JUST SIT..." he says and the two actually responded.
"5) Do you have problems with commitment?"
"Not at all!" Miroku says with a smile.
"YEA, he's comitted to the 'I see ya' I date ya' philosophy..." Inu-Yasha says.
"I think you're a habitual liar, sir," Van says setting the papers on the desk.
"I think you're a wuss!" Miroku says to Van.
"My money's on neither of you, cuz you're both wusses! Bwahahahhahahaha!!!" Inu-Yasha says.
Van looks at Miroku. "You know, he's really been annoying me more than you..."
"Yea, same here..." Miroku says.
The two decide to jump Inu-Yasha.
*outside* "Geez, I hate it when he locks stuff," says a teary eyed Jo. "I know, Inu-Yasha always locks himself out of the bathroom, isnt' that the stupidest thing?" says Kagome. They both giggle and Jo unlocks the door to find all three guys strangling each other.
"Umm...are they gonna be ok?" asks Kagome.
"Hmm...eventually...men like to fight and they'll keep fighting until they can't take it anymore and then they'll realize that women like us are the "cause" of their problems and then they'll agree not to fight anymore and they'll do the manly hug thing..." Jo says as she tosses Van's sword and Kagome's bow and arrow into the mix.
"Let's just leave them and go start scouting the girl applicants..." says Jo shutting the door.
"Ok!" says Kagome. "You know, it's neat having a friend backstage..." says Kagome as they walk to the bachelorette applicant building.
[END]
[Continued in Chapter 3/Part2: The Applicant]
[Read and Review Pleaze!]
[A/N: There still might be room for more bachelorettes!!! Review and tell me why you deserve Miroku!!! lovealways~japanimejo~]
a/n replies:
Bell-chan: HAHAHA!!! I read your story about Miroku going to the different series and it's funny! In fact, I stole your idea here, but I am giving you credit for it! GO CHECK OUT HER STORY!!!! *makes everyone get in line to read story* Sorry no review for it, my computer was acting up! Anyway, thanks for reviewing!
Kaylana: Wow. I think you feel the way about Miroku the way I do about Van! LOL(you'll see in this story!) Thanks for such a long reivew! It was fun to read!
aearoniel: Of course, Inu-yasha won't become human if he loses...so where's my plot huh? I'm wondering if anyone out there has figured it out yet....O_o...Thanks for your review!!!
Gakoma: Hmmm...I don't know...some of the characters I have gotten I'd really like to work with and so I don't know...I may put in 5 contestants on the show instead of just 3...Sango may or may not get him...I just don't know...Anyway! Thanks for the review!
Tripp: Thanks so much for your review! It was very encouraging!
Right now, I have 13 lucky girls (-HA! IRONIC) lined up to be featured in the next chapter. I think 20 would make a good number to work with. Please, if you come upon this story anew, don't think it's too late to get in on the fun! Just review! *waves* Thanks!
P.S. since I haven't updated in a while, I made this chapter extrememley long *winks*
And now Jo proudly presents...
Chatper 3: Part One- The Applicant
(Earlier) A girl with straight , mahogany hair sits on top of a desk in a cubicle. She's wearing a pink pencil skirt with a pink blazer to match. Next to her, working hard on some paper work, is a guy in a pair of khaki slacks, a red collar button up shirt, and a pair of glasses.
The boy takes off his glasses and lets out a huge sigh. "I don't know what to do; we tried the Dating Game marathon, but that didn't work. The ratings keep going down and nothing that I can think of is making the numbers go the opposite direction," he says leaning back in his chair and folding his arms across his chest.
The girl hops off the desk and rubs the guy's black hair. "Well, let's shoot for a younger audience; that way I can lose the news anchor look," she says taking off the granny shoes that perfectly matched the pink outfit. "AND try someone who would cause a little bit of contreversy!" she yells while walking off with shoes in hand. She walks a little distance before a loud noise is made.
*SPLAT*
"I'm ok!" she yells nervously. "Just me..being spastic....stupid panty hose!!!!" she grumbles as she jerks up the skirt and pulls off the thigh highs. The boy blushes and quickly turns his head the other way.
The boy then eyes the stack of "NO DEFINATELY NOT!!!" applicants. He lets out another sigh and grabs the stack. "It's the shows only hope," he says exasperatedly as he looks at the "YOU DON'T HAVE A CHANCE IN HECK TO BE ON THIS SHOW!" applicant. "Hmn..." he leans over the one on the top of the stack. "I guess he's a decent looking guy...he seems to have a nice personality...but he's a monk...monks aren't supposed to date..."
*SNATCH*
"PERFECT!" says the girl form before now in a pair of low slung belted blue jeans and a pink peaseant blouse shirt. She looked completely her age now. "I mean he's evertything a girl could ask for!...cute personality, good looking-" The boy shoots her an unhappy glare. She rolls her eyes and pinches his cheeks while saying, "you're still cuter!" She then goes back to looking at the applicant, "hey! he's a monk...I thought monks weren't supposed to date though!" "I know that!" he says getting irratated.
"He's contreversial, young, and a lady's man...he's just what the show needs!" continues the girl. "Alright already," sighs the boy. "ALRIGHT!" screams the girl loudly. "The next contestant on the dating game is..." she glances down on the paper to find a name. "MIROKU!!!"
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
"Okay, see here's the deal," says Miroku explaining his elaborate plan to Sango. "If they find out that we know each other, they won't let you on the show. So for you to apply you can't act like you know me.." Miroku says very passionately. "Oh," says Sango kinda disheartend now. "And the only person that you can tell about this is Kagome; she'll help you get in."
Sango threw Miroku a look. Miroku choked. "What's the look for?" he said nervously. "You're acting really, really suspicious," Sango said making her eyes nothing but slits. "Uh-oh," Miroku thought, "she's figured me out! Oh man, she'll really kick my butt for this one! C'mon, think Miroku...do something smooth."
He grabbed Sanog up in his arms and leaned her back. Sango was caught completely off her guard. She reacted completely on instinct and struggled to get away from him. In the process of all the fidgeting, Miroku was slowly losing his grip on her. As Sango started to fall backwards, she grabbed onto the first thing she saw. That thing just so happened to be Miroku's beads that kept the wind tunnel closed.
*BUMP*
Sango looked on in sheer fear as she slowly began to realize what she had in her hand. She then looked up at Miroku who had fallen on top of her. She blushed amd glanced down at the kneeling monk's hand that possesed the wind tunnel. The ground was starting to dissappear.
"Quick Miroku!" Sango said lifting her hand up from the ground clasping the beads. "Put them back on!" she called as the wind around them began to get heavy. Little did she know just how heavy the wind was; the beads were sucked straight from her hand!
The two looked like they were playing a game of twister that had gone horribly wrong. "Masjfljfl askljfl sdjflsdg iihgfo!" Sango cried out form underneath him. "What?" said Miroku. "I can't understand you!" He dissmissed the comment that had come from under him; he'd just assume that it was a death threat as usual and once again went back to trying to grab the beads. They were now stuck on the tree branch just above them. He even thought about playing around some before getting the beads because he was enjoying the postition he was in.
The two knew that if they didn't get those beads soon though, they'd be sucked into the wind tunnel forever.
Just as Miroku was about to reach the beads though, Sango had managed to push Miroku off of her.(along with the help of a gust of wind) Now Miroku was flying around with an angry look on his face, arms folded, screaming at Sango at how he'd almost had the beads.
"SANGO!!!! YOU CAN GET THE STUPID BEADS NOW!!!"
Sango was also flying around and each time she flew past the beads made a grab for them. "Mi-*reach*-ro-*reach*ku!!!!!*reach* You could at least HELP!!! IT'S YOUR STUPID WIND TUNNEL!!!" *reach*
Then Sango had (what she thought to be) a genius of an idea. She would send her boomerang after the beads and it would just fly right back into her hands! ...but that only made things worse. The vortex of the wind was too strong for it and now it was in the process of flying by nearly chopping their heads off. "SANGO!!!" screamed Miroku again dodging the boomerang. "What now?" she called to Miroku innocently. "I DON'T KNOW YOU'RE THE ONE WHO THREW THE DEATHSYTHCE HERE!" he said ducking from the boomerang again. "WELL! Do something!" Sango cried angry frustrated, and running out of ideas. Miroku just shook his head and as he passed by the tree shoved his staff into it's bark. He then easily valuted himself onto the branch and grabbed the beads.
*WHOOSH*THUD*
Sango was back on the ground again. "MIROKU!" she yelled angrily looking at a nearby tree that had been uprooted. "It's not exactly a 2x4, but it'll do!"(thanks LJ!^-^) She picked it up and threw it at the monk sitting on the tree. *BONK* *THUD*
Miroku fell off the tree and Sango ripped into him.
"YOU COULD HAVE AT LEAST WAITED UNTIL I WAS ON A TREE LIMB TOO! AND YOU COULD'VE GOTTEN OFF OF ME! I COULDN'T BREATHE! AND YOU COULD'VE GOTTEN THE BEADS ALL ALONG WITH THAT STUPID STAFF OF YOURS! WHAT WERE YOU PLANNING ON DOING ANYWAY? RAPE ME? I DON'T THINK SO!"
*BONK* She hits him with the tree agian.
"Ouch!" squeaks Miroku. "Look," he says, "I was just going to do this!" He grabs Sango by her shoulders giving her a small kiss on the cheek. Sango turns a scarlet red.
"Oh..." Sango says feeling really sheepish. "YEA, OH...it's like you think I'm a pervert or something..."Miroku says sarcastically. Sango looks at the ground. "I'm sorry Miroku..." she says queitly. "Yea, well I feel sorry for me too!" Miroku says with a laugh.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
The two finally arrive at Kagome's and are greeted by her.
"Are you guys ok? You look like you've been through a hurricane or something..." she says with a concerned look.
Miroku lets out a huge laugh and Sango sucker punches him. "IT ISN'T FUNNY! LOSING YOUR LIFE TO A BOTTOMLESS PIT! ...hmph..." Sango says.
"Huh?" Kagome says confused.
*ring*ring* *ring*ring*
"Hello?" Kagome says answering the phone. "Yes, he's right here," she says extending her arm to Miroku to take the phone.
"Hello?" he says.
"HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!~" says the girl on the other end very loudly. Miroku jerks the phone away from his ear and makes a face. "Sheez, she's loud!" he thinks. "MY NAME IS JO AND I'M FROM THE DATING GAME SHOW! WE WANT AN INTERVIEW WITH YOU BUT I'M PRETTY SURE YOU HAVE A SHOW!"
Miroku smiles and pulls the phone back away from his ear at least 6 inches while Jo continues to explain. "CAN YOU COME TODAY? WE'D LIKE TO TAPE A SHOW ASAP!"
"Sure, be there in an hour or so..." Miroku says wanting to go gloat to Inu-Yasha. "GREAT"! yells Jo on the other end so loudly, it startles Miroku ane he throws the phone away from his ear.
"HEeEeY!!!! What'd you do that for?!?!? Grandpa just bought this!" Kagome says very upset. She gets on all fours looking underneath the couch to find the phone. "I did it so I could do this..." Miroku says with a smile while looking at Kagome's butt. *Pinch* *Thud*
"oooouch!!!! ERGGGGGHHHHHHHHH! MIROKU!!!" trying to get out from under the couch to repay the favor. Instead, she wound up hitting her head and became very dazed.
"Miroku!" Sango screamed as he turned around in enough time to see her boomerang hit him on the head.
*THUD*
"On second thought, maybe I'll go gloat to Inu-Yasha and LEAVE..." he says quite wearily. "That would definately be a really, REALLY good idea..." says Kagome still rubbing her butt. "That's right!" Sango says waving her boomerang even more. Miroku slowly backed away from the two and out the back door to find Inu-Yasha.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Inu-Yasha was outside in Kagome's backyard with Shippo. He looked like he was screaming at the poor thing to do his bidding as usual.
Miroku simply walked up and stood with a huge smirk on his face. "WHAT IS IT MORTAL!?!" he screamed at Miroku. "The Dating Game rep called; I have a show! I WIN dogbreath!" Miroku says triumphantly. "Feh...you can't even remember the bet..." Inu-Yasha says folding his arms. "What'd ya' mean? I got on the show!" Miroku says angrily. "No, our bet was that you could get on and KEEP the girl you picked...hehe...looks like a pink tutu and bunny ears for you my friend..." Inu-Yasha says in a teasing voice.
Miroku sticks his nose in the air and says, "I'm going now...see ya' dog brains..." "OH NO!" Inu-Yasha yells. "I'm coming with you to make sure you dont' cheat!" he says with a smug face.
"Cheat?" Miroku says losing some color. "YEA, cheat...you know, not play fair!!!" Inu-Yasha says stuffing a struggling Shippo under his robe.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
"YAY YAY YAY!!! He's here!" says the girl in the blue jeans and pink shirt jumping up and down enthusiastically. The boy with the glasses throws her another glare and she runs over and hugs him. "I SWEAR..." she says rolling her eyes, "you're sexier than he is!" she says with a gigle. The boy reluctantly hugs her back, as if he still doesn't believe her. Then, Miroku and Inu-Yasha enter in the building.
"Um...."Miroku mutters, "I'm looking for Jo..."
"THAT WOULD BE MEEEEEEEE!!!!!" says the girl in the peasent blouse in a squeaky little girl voice still latched on to the boy in the red shirt. "THAT WAS MY EAR JO!!!!" he screams. "Sorry!" Jo sheepishly says giving him another hug.
Miroku looks at Jo and a smile spreads across his face. "SO...you're Jo..." he says while bending on knee and kissing her hand. "Oooohhh," Jo says with a giggle. The boy in the red shirt stiffens in his seat, ready to pounce on Miroku. Miroku then looks up and says, "will you bear my child?"
"DAAAAHHHH!!! FREAK!" Jo says flailing her arms around and jumping into the air. The boy in the red shirt takes his que and catches her before she hits the ground. "Don't talk to MY girl like that, please..." he says as an order more than a request. Inu-Yasha is just laughing it up.
Jo then notices Inu-Yasha's ears. "Oh wow," she says jumping out of the boy's arms. "Would ya' look at those?" she says in amazement as she pulls and tugs at the ears. Inu-Yasha rolls his eyes and lets out a, "feh." "OH! OH! OH! I GET IT!!! HE'S A DOG!!! HOW CUTE!!!" she says while petting him on the head. Inu-Yasha folds his arms and gets rather irratated. "Dude, she's your girl," he says to the boy with the glasses, "if you don't want me to hurt her, I suggest you get her off me!" "Jo," he says motioning for her to come back to him. "Oh, just one more pet! He's soooo cute!" she says petting him one last time. "DO IT AGAIN, AND I RIP YOUR LUNGS OUT!!!" he yells at Jo.
Jo backs away and looks at him with a certain defiance. "EXCUSE YOU?" she says with the hand on the hip, weight shifted to one leg, and the pointer finger waving. The boy with the glasses comes from behind and hugs her while dragging her back away from Inu-Yasha. He talks to her for a moment and she begins to calm down. He then turns to Inu-Yasha and says, "she really doesn't mean anything by it..." Inu-Yasha looks the boy up and down and then says, "hey- take those glasses off..." The boy blinks but, does as he is told. "Hey! I know you! Well, not really, but you're Van Fanel, from the Vision of Escaflowne!"
Jo appears behind Van giving him a huge hug and in a squeaky little girl voice says, "I KNOW AND ISN'T HE THE CUTEST!!!" Van just smacks his hand on his forehead. "Please don't bring up the series..." he says with great dread. Inu-Yasha doesn't hear him though. "Wait a second, something isn't right..." Inu-Yasha mumbles.
"HEY everyone!" says a familar voice. It's Kagome. "Hey Kagome!" yells Miroku, now happy to have someone who liked him around. Kagome looks at the girl about to squeeze Van to death with a confused look. "Who's she?" she asks Inu-Yasha. Inu-Yasha just ignores her and says, "I thought you wound up with that other girl...what's her name...H-h-Hi-"
Van's eyes get huge and he starts waving his arms around. "NO DON'T SAY IT!" he yells with Jo still hanging on him. He then clasps his hands over Inu-Yasha's mouth and says, "whatever you do...don't say the H-word to her..." He looks at Inu-Yasha in sheer fear.
"What? Hell?" asks Kagome.
"No..." Inu-Yasha says rolling his eyes. It would be like Kagome not to know the greatest anime series of all time, besides, their own, that is.
"What, horny?" Miroku says while his eys light up.
Kagome rolls her eyes. "IS THAT ALL you think about?"
"Well, what could it be then?" Miroku says very pensively.
"I can't belive you haven't seen this goregeously animated, beautifully scored, heart wrenching, cliff hanging, storytelling ANIME!" yells Inu-Yasha. "It's HITOMI!!! You FREAKS!" yells Inu-Yasha. Van slaps his forehead in disgust. He then starts to rub his head and mumbles, "I can't believe you just said that..."
Jo finally lets go of Van and looks at Inu-Yasha with a wild fire in her eyes. "WHAT did you say?"
"Hi-to-mi!" Inu-Yasha says getting angry.
"THERE IS NO HITOMI! SHE'S FICTIONAL! THERE IS ONLY ME! VAN KNOWS ONLY ME! JO!" she says stepping on Inu-Yasha's foot in a pair of stilletos and then sucker punching him.
"HeEeEeY!" yells Kagome. "You can't do that to MY Inu-Yasha!"
"YOUR Inu-Yasha!!!! What do you mean Your Inu-Yasha!!!!" says Inu-Yasha while fighting off a rabid Jo.
Jo then stops fighting with Inu-Yasha and looks at Kagome. "I'm not even in my guy's series, but at least I wound up with him!"
"Oh that's it!" Kagome says grabbing a bow and arrow, which just happened to be handy.
Jo grabs Van's old Fanelian sword off the wall display. "Bring it on, girlie!!!!" she says after swinging it around a couple of times.
Van grabs Inu-Yasha and Miroku and rushes them into the next room. After they are in, he shuts the door and locks it. Miroku leans foward out of his chair and looks at the shadows passing by. "Will those two be ok?" he says while watching the puff of smoke shoot out arrows, swords, hand grenades, ect.
"In about ten minuets..." Van says very flatly. "Happens all the time; they are girls, they don't like to fight...they'll wind up crying about how mean we men are to them and then they'll apologize to each other and be best friends..."
"Hey...you really understand women, don't you?" Miroku says very surprised. "Why do you think I have a job like this and not the one I had?" Van says in a very dry tone. "I learned everything I need to know about women from that fickle girl, Hi-...well you know ..."
Van then takes out Miroku's papers. "Ok, standard stuff we have to do to cover our tails..."
"Alright..."
"1) How many people have you slept with?"
"How many?"
"Yea, like how many?" Van says raising and eyebrow. Miroku squirms in his seat. "Uhhhh....why do you ask?" Inu-Yasha gets a smirk on his face. "Don't tell me that you have a big goose egg as your number, Miroku!!!"
"I just need to know so we can get on to number 2..."
"Umm..." Miroku squeaks, "0."
"I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT!!!" Inu-Yasha says while doing the I'm right dance. "You've always acted too pissy and wussy to have gotten some in the past..." He continues doing the I'm right dance while Van continues the drill.
"2) You have no STD's then, right?"
"Right," Miroku says with a sigh.
"3) Does age matter in the applicant?"
"Nope," Miroku says letting out a sigh.
"No, he's Lester, Lester, Child Molester!" says Inu-Yasha peeking his head over the chair.
"SHUDDDAP!" Miroku screams pushing his head back.
"I knew this guy was sleezy; can't ever trust the men of the cloth like him..." Van thinks to himself. "Or Knights of Heaven for that matter!" (-Esca Humour! bwahahahahaaa! ALLEN HATERS UNITE!!!!^.^)
"4) Anything the girl should know before she dates you?"
"Ummm...nope" Miroku says with a pensive look
"Yuh huh!!!! He's got his family's curse! It's a bottomless pit in his hand look!!!" Inu-Yasha says starting to unravel the beads. "NNO!" Miroku says shoving Inu-Yasha into the wall. "Errrrggg!!!" Inu-Yasha mumbles something and Van simply shakes his head. "JUST SIT..." he says and the two actually responded.
"5) Do you have problems with commitment?"
"Not at all!" Miroku says with a smile.
"YEA, he's comitted to the 'I see ya' I date ya' philosophy..." Inu-Yasha says.
"I think you're a habitual liar, sir," Van says setting the papers on the desk.
"I think you're a wuss!" Miroku says to Van.
"My money's on neither of you, cuz you're both wusses! Bwahahahhahahaha!!!" Inu-Yasha says.
Van looks at Miroku. "You know, he's really been annoying me more than you..."
"Yea, same here..." Miroku says.
The two decide to jump Inu-Yasha.
*outside* "Geez, I hate it when he locks stuff," says a teary eyed Jo. "I know, Inu-Yasha always locks himself out of the bathroom, isnt' that the stupidest thing?" says Kagome. They both giggle and Jo unlocks the door to find all three guys strangling each other.
"Umm...are they gonna be ok?" asks Kagome.
"Hmm...eventually...men like to fight and they'll keep fighting until they can't take it anymore and then they'll realize that women like us are the "cause" of their problems and then they'll agree not to fight anymore and they'll do the manly hug thing..." Jo says as she tosses Van's sword and Kagome's bow and arrow into the mix.
"Let's just leave them and go start scouting the girl applicants..." says Jo shutting the door.
"Ok!" says Kagome. "You know, it's neat having a friend backstage..." says Kagome as they walk to the bachelorette applicant building.
[END]
[Continued in Chapter 3/Part2: The Applicant]
[Read and Review Pleaze!]
[A/N: There still might be room for more bachelorettes!!! Review and tell me why you deserve Miroku!!! lovealways~japanimejo~]
