Epilogue

RAPHAEL:

You left without saying good-bye. And you took Amy and Salome with you. I guess it's just as well that you didn't tell me. There wasn't much left to say between us. As for Donny, you gotta know that it really tore him up inside when he found that tear-splattered note from Amy. She didn't give him a good reason why she'd decided to drop off the face of the earth. At least she said good-bye. I was just the opposite. I knew why, but you didn't leave me a note.

Actually, I think it would've been harder if I'd had to read your words, flat out telling me that it was the end. It would've been even worse to have to face you. It was never supposed to end, Kat. Not this time. I wanted this to be forever.

Somebody told me once that love never goes away. I laughed at him, secretly if not to his face. But now I see that he was right. I loved you. I still do. And the pain of not having you with me hasn't gotten any easier over these past four years. I'd be mad at you for leaving, except that I can't bring myself to blame you when it was me who broke our vows. So I'm not mad. I'm just... I don't know. I'm not good at describing how I feel. But I can tell you that I'm writing this with tears streaming down my face. I'm glad it's the middle of the night, and I don't have to worry about facing anyone anytime soon.

I know I have no right to still feel this way for you. You're out there, God-knows-where, living your life. Hell, you could be married and have kids by now. Guess that's why I've never tried to find you. I'm afraid of what I'll find. I pray that wherever you are, you're still alive. And happy. I want you to be happy, Kat. You deserve it. Somehow, I know I'll never see you again. That hurts, but I think I've finally accepted it. Doesn't mean I'm any closer to "getting over" you. I still love you more than anything in the world.

And I'll never forgive myself for letting you go. -Raphael