Left Behind
Chapter 19
Two Weeks Later
John heard footsteps on the linoleum floor behind him and involuntarily tensed. He turned and saw who it was. "Is this your doin'?"
Skinner shook his head as he further walked into the X-Files office. He looked around him. Everything was back-the computers, the desks, the files. Well almost everything, Skinner amended thoughtfully. Monica wasn't here. He half expected her to come walking in, alive and okay, laughing at them for their worries. Hell, he never expected the X-Files to be opened again and he half expected Mulder and Scully to come waltzing in.
John took another long look around the office as if re-familiarizing himself with the place he called his home away from home for two years. There was more dust than he remember but pretty much all the big items had been put back into their places. "I couldn't believe it when A.D. Stricklyn called me into his office today and told me that the X-Files had been reopened, that I was being reassigned back to it." Doggett chuckled mirthlessly. "I thought he had called me in to yell at me for screwin' up the Watkins case and pursuin' unorthodox investigation leads and methods with Monica's."
"Do you think he had anything to do with the X-Files being reopened?" Skinner asked concerned that someone was manipulating with them.
It was John's turn to shake his head. "No. He seemed pretty pissed about the whole thing and at me. I'm sure he's more than happy to punish me by placin' me down here, or at the very least ruin my chances of risin' in the Bureau. But I don't think even he would want the X-Files reopened. No, his orders came from someone else, someone even higher up than he or you."
"Maybe you have a friend in the FBI."
"Maybe," said John, but by the tone of his voice Skinner could tell that Doggett didn't believe that for a second.
John walked up behind the desk that Monica had used during her time on the X-Files. It was reserved for the resident believer he mused. He walked up to the big, brown bulletin board and gazed at its emptiness. There would be plenty of time to put back all the clippings and pictures that had been pinned up here. But there was one thing that had to be up before he could work here.
John spied some colorful pushpins that had littered the floor. He picked up four and began to use them to put up the rolled sheet he had carried in his hand. It was the only remnant that had been left, one of the utmost value, that he had been allowed to take away from the office when it was closed months ago.
Once his task was completed, both he and Skinner stared at Mulder's old poster that had previously graced the office. It was a picture of a flying UFO with the words "I Want To Believe" written at the bottom. John mulled over the words. Did he want to believe in the paranormal, in UFO's, and little green men? The answer was no. He didn't want to believe. If he thought long and hard enough, he was like Scully had been years before, afraid to believe. But did he want to believe that Monica would be returned alive and well. So if he had to believe in order to find Monica, if he had to work past his own fears to find her, he would do so. John wanted to believe. And yet at the same time, he felt the overwhelming fear creeping over him.
John remembered that he wasn't alone in the office and he turned to Skinner. "I just...I just don't know if I'm the right person to be here. I want to find Monica more than anythin', but I don't think I'm the best person to do so. I can't do this alone. I'm no good with the paranormal. I've tried everythin' from tryin' to find out more about Colin's background, to Weasley, to alien abduction cases. There's absolutely nothin'. There's no sign of Monica. It as if she's disappeared without a trace but nothin' does that. If only there was some way we could contact Mulder and Scully."
Skinner took a deep breath after hearing the frustration and sense of failure in John's voice. The past two weeks of fear and worry for Monica had taken their toll on him, and them all. He thought about telling John that even Kersh had said he had a better case solved percentage rate than Mulder, but Skinner was certain that Kersh had manipulated those figures for his own agenda-keeping Mulder off the X-Files when he was returned. "John," he began slowly, "you've done a great job on the X-Files during the time you were assigned here. You're a skeptic and this office always needs a skeptic. You've kept Dana and then Monica, grounded, focused. You know these files. You've learned from them. You're doing everything you can right now. You're going to find a way. I believe that. To save Monica, you're going to find a way."
John nodded at Skinner's words. He was once again filled with renewed hope. He would find her alive. He had to. There was no other option.
Skinner was able to see that his words had done some good. He turned to go, but before he did he stopped and told John: "You need to remember that you're not alone. You've got friends to help you whenever you need it."
Before John could reply the phone rang. It startled both of them. It was a sound that had not been heard in that office for many months. John hesitated only a second before picking up the phone. "X-Files. John Doggett speaking."
Chapter 19
Two Weeks Later
John heard footsteps on the linoleum floor behind him and involuntarily tensed. He turned and saw who it was. "Is this your doin'?"
Skinner shook his head as he further walked into the X-Files office. He looked around him. Everything was back-the computers, the desks, the files. Well almost everything, Skinner amended thoughtfully. Monica wasn't here. He half expected her to come walking in, alive and okay, laughing at them for their worries. Hell, he never expected the X-Files to be opened again and he half expected Mulder and Scully to come waltzing in.
John took another long look around the office as if re-familiarizing himself with the place he called his home away from home for two years. There was more dust than he remember but pretty much all the big items had been put back into their places. "I couldn't believe it when A.D. Stricklyn called me into his office today and told me that the X-Files had been reopened, that I was being reassigned back to it." Doggett chuckled mirthlessly. "I thought he had called me in to yell at me for screwin' up the Watkins case and pursuin' unorthodox investigation leads and methods with Monica's."
"Do you think he had anything to do with the X-Files being reopened?" Skinner asked concerned that someone was manipulating with them.
It was John's turn to shake his head. "No. He seemed pretty pissed about the whole thing and at me. I'm sure he's more than happy to punish me by placin' me down here, or at the very least ruin my chances of risin' in the Bureau. But I don't think even he would want the X-Files reopened. No, his orders came from someone else, someone even higher up than he or you."
"Maybe you have a friend in the FBI."
"Maybe," said John, but by the tone of his voice Skinner could tell that Doggett didn't believe that for a second.
John walked up behind the desk that Monica had used during her time on the X-Files. It was reserved for the resident believer he mused. He walked up to the big, brown bulletin board and gazed at its emptiness. There would be plenty of time to put back all the clippings and pictures that had been pinned up here. But there was one thing that had to be up before he could work here.
John spied some colorful pushpins that had littered the floor. He picked up four and began to use them to put up the rolled sheet he had carried in his hand. It was the only remnant that had been left, one of the utmost value, that he had been allowed to take away from the office when it was closed months ago.
Once his task was completed, both he and Skinner stared at Mulder's old poster that had previously graced the office. It was a picture of a flying UFO with the words "I Want To Believe" written at the bottom. John mulled over the words. Did he want to believe in the paranormal, in UFO's, and little green men? The answer was no. He didn't want to believe. If he thought long and hard enough, he was like Scully had been years before, afraid to believe. But did he want to believe that Monica would be returned alive and well. So if he had to believe in order to find Monica, if he had to work past his own fears to find her, he would do so. John wanted to believe. And yet at the same time, he felt the overwhelming fear creeping over him.
John remembered that he wasn't alone in the office and he turned to Skinner. "I just...I just don't know if I'm the right person to be here. I want to find Monica more than anythin', but I don't think I'm the best person to do so. I can't do this alone. I'm no good with the paranormal. I've tried everythin' from tryin' to find out more about Colin's background, to Weasley, to alien abduction cases. There's absolutely nothin'. There's no sign of Monica. It as if she's disappeared without a trace but nothin' does that. If only there was some way we could contact Mulder and Scully."
Skinner took a deep breath after hearing the frustration and sense of failure in John's voice. The past two weeks of fear and worry for Monica had taken their toll on him, and them all. He thought about telling John that even Kersh had said he had a better case solved percentage rate than Mulder, but Skinner was certain that Kersh had manipulated those figures for his own agenda-keeping Mulder off the X-Files when he was returned. "John," he began slowly, "you've done a great job on the X-Files during the time you were assigned here. You're a skeptic and this office always needs a skeptic. You've kept Dana and then Monica, grounded, focused. You know these files. You've learned from them. You're doing everything you can right now. You're going to find a way. I believe that. To save Monica, you're going to find a way."
John nodded at Skinner's words. He was once again filled with renewed hope. He would find her alive. He had to. There was no other option.
Skinner was able to see that his words had done some good. He turned to go, but before he did he stopped and told John: "You need to remember that you're not alone. You've got friends to help you whenever you need it."
Before John could reply the phone rang. It startled both of them. It was a sound that had not been heard in that office for many months. John hesitated only a second before picking up the phone. "X-Files. John Doggett speaking."
