Chandler quickly threw on a robe and followed her to the living room. "Monica, please don't divorce me," he begged. "I can change, I swear! I mean, we're down to every other year now. That's better, huh?"

She turned around angrily. "Don't you get it, Chandler?! It's not how often you sleep with him, it's the fact that you sleep with him at all! And do you notice how most of the time, you're sleeping with him during a significant moment of our relationship? You can find all the excuses you want about how you're comforting him, or he's comforting you, but what it really comes down to is that you guys wish I wasn't in the way!"

"What? No! Monica, I swear, it's not like that. Joey and I are just friends most of the time. It's not serious--"

Why did he keep saying that? "Open your eyes, Chandler! It *is* serious. It's so damn serious I could cry! I mean, it's like you two are Ross and Rachel, only gay. Despite all of Joey's hot dates and despite my marriage to you, you guys ache to get back together."

"No, we don't!"

"Face it! You couldn't *perform* the night we got engaged because your body was telling you that the whole proposal was a mistake. Your body was telling you that you should be with Joey, not with me!"

"What? No!"

"Yes!" she yelled back. "Just ask yourself one thing, Chandler. When you're making love to me and fantasizing about the supermodels and celebrities on your freebie list, do you ever, ever picture Joey?"

Finally rendered speechless, Chandler nodded and admitted that he did.

"Then I hope you're happy with him!" She stormed out and slammed the door. She soon slammed the door of the apartment across the hall too.

Chandler didn't follow and just stood there, realizing now that Monica was right. There were far too many nights that he thought about going back to Joey's place and asking him for another bonus night.

"Chandler?" Joey asked softly.

He turned and saw Joey in the bedroom doorway, wearing a robe too and still looking sad.

"I, um, I heard what Monica said," he whispered. "Do you think she's right, about us?"

Chandler cautiously came toward him. "Do you, do you want her to be right?"

Joey shrugged and looked at his feet. "I, um, I picture you too."

Chandler smiled softly and caressed his face. "Then maybe, maybe we should be serious." They met each other's eyes and kissed.

***

Monica starting throwing Chandler's belongings out into the hallway, not even caring about making a mess for once. She seriously thought about moving away from New York, or at least from this apartment, with all its memories. Maybe Phoebe would want to be roommates again.

Tired from throwing stuff around, Monica finally sat down on the couch and called Ross.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Ross."

"Monica? Hey! You're home early."

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, that's what everybody says."

"So how was the trip?"

"Never mind about that!" She took a breath and asked him for the number of his divorce lawyer.

"What? Are you kidding, Monica?"

"I'm not kidding! Give me the number!"

"But, Mon, what's happened? What's wrong?"

"Chandler's cheating on me."

"What? No way!"

"Yes way! Did you know that he's been sleeping with Joey?"

"Joey?!" Ross stammered incredulously. "J-Joey? Our Joey? Joey Tribbiani?"

"Shut up, Ross!" She sighed. "Yes, our Joey. Apparently Chandler's been going back and forth between us for years, and just now I caught them together. So I told him to just stay the hell over there."

"Oh my God!"

"I know. Look, we'll probably get the gang together soon and explain it all in detail, but if you don't mind, I just want to get the paperwork going and end this marriage that never should have been!"

"Okay, okay!" Ross acquiesced and got the number. This was all very shocking. "Should I tell Phoebe and Rachel about it yet? I mean, just what you've told me already?"

She shrugged. "Go ahead. But not Mom and Dad! I'm not ready to face them with *this* news right now."

"Sure, I understand. Our secret."

"Ross?"

"Yeah?"

"You got any advice? You know, since you went through something like this with Carol?"

He thought about it. "Just, just know that it's gonna be all right."

"Thanks, Ross."

***

After her talk with the divorce lawyer, Monica hung up the phone and sighed, just staring at the notepad on which she'd written her appointment with the lawyer.

"Mon?" Chandler's voice interrupted her thoughts.

She turned around in surprise and remembered that she had left the door open when throwing out all of Chandler's stuff. He was fully dressed now.

"How long have you been standing there?" she demanded irritably.

Chandler shrugged with a trace of humor. "Oh, about the time you said, 'Really? Because the bastard lied to me, I might qualify for an annulment instead of a divorce?'" He looked humbled and apologetic. "I just, I just came over to pack up my clothes, but um, it seems you've done that for me." He glanced at the pile of junk thrown into the hallway.

"You deserve it!" Monica shouted. "This isn't your house anymore!"

"I know, I know." He came into the living room. "Look, I also wanted to apologize--"

"I don't want to hear it!" She turned away furiously.

"No, no," he explained, "you were right, Monica. Completely right. I'm an awful husband, and you can divorce me or annul me or whatever you want."

"Well, good," she said. "Not good that you're an awful husband, but good that you're not gonna argue with me."

He nodded and sat down across from her, looking guilty. "And I should have told you about Joey years ago. You know, to give you all the information before you accepted my proposal or anything. I'm starting to realize just how stupid I've been, and I'm very, very sorry. You do believe me, right?"

She shrugged.

He sighed. "I understand. Um, there's just something else I want to say. You see," he cleared his throat, "you see, the reason that I wanted to make it work with you so much was that I had a crush on you for years before London. Remember how many times I offered to be your backup boyfriend or husband?"

She nodded.

"Anyway, I thought I knew the difference between a crush and something serious, but..." He shrugged and looked guilty. "Well, um, it was wrong of me to cheat on you and everything. You deserve so much better, and I just, I hope you find your real soul mate soon, whether it's Richard, or Don the cheese-lover, or somebody brand new." He frowned and looked a little confused, "I don't know if this means anything to you, but Joey was talking about some kind of Hoyt guy? I-I don't know."

Monica managed to laugh. Hoyt was the ideal husband and father of Monica's kids that Joey had pictured for her years ago, when she wanted to get a sperm donor.

"Well, hey!" Chandler smiled in surprise. "I can still make you laugh, I guess." Then he looked serious. "Again, I'm deeply, deeply sorry, and Joey is too. Just, um, let me know when I have to be at court or sign some papers or whatever, okay?"

She nodded. "Okay."

Chandler got up and walked out, shutting the door after him.