Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe helped Monica pack some stuff and move out of the apartment, at least temporarily, so that she could get away from Chandler and Joey across the hall.

"Wait, Pheebs," Rachel said, "after the fire, didn't they fix your apartment so that it only has one bedroom now?"

"Oh that's right," Monica said. "Will you have enough room for me?"

"Of course! What, you wanna live with Ross and Rachel with their baby?"

Rachel offered, "Oh, but we could make room. Emma would love to see her Aunt Monica more often, and you love babysitting her, right?"

"Yeah, but--"

No one noticed Phoebe waiting tensely for Monica to finish the sentence.

Monica sighed, "No offense, Ross, but I've had enough of living with you. You're my brother and you're being a big help and all, but I still couldn't take it."

Ross nodded. He was still trying to make things work with Rachel anyway, and didn't need a crowded apartment. All their on-again, off-again history inevitably made any reunion seem temporary by default. They still had to learn how to get through a real crisis without immediately jumping to a breakup.

Monica turned to Phoebe. "But if you don't have room for me, I guess I could stay with my parents. --Oh, wait, I didn't tell them yet!" She bit her fingernails anxiously.

"No, it's okay," Phoebe said. "It may be one bedroom, but it's twice as big, you know? We can put a second bed in there and everything will be fine."

"Oh, right!" Monica was relieved and hugged her again. "Thanks, Phoebe! I really love you, you know?"

"I-I love you," she answered, but something caught in her throat.

Fortunately, Ross and Rachel murmured "I love you" too and joined the hug.

***

Ross and Rachel helped drop off Monica's bags at Phoebe's place, before they had to get home to Emma, who was with the nanny. "Bye, Mon! Bye Pheebs!"

Left alone, Phoebe and Monica unpacked the stuff, then changed into pajamas for the night.

As she looked in the closets, Monica asked, "You don't already have a fold-away bed or something?"

"Oh, um, no. I'm sorry, I forgot. I-I don't get a lot of overnight guests who aren't boyfriends, you know?"

"That's okay," Monica answered. "We can go to a store and get a bed tomorrow. I'll sleep on the couch for tonight."

"Yeah, okay."

"It's not a sofa-bed, is it?"

"No."

Monica shrugged as she checked out the couch. "It looks roomy enough anyway." She started to get sheets and pillows out.

Phoebe offered, "You know, you can have my bed if you want. I can take the couch."

"No, I don't want to put you out more than I already am."

"No, really, I don't mind." She thought about what that would be like, having Monica sleep in her bed, and having it still smell like her the next night.

Monica still shook her head, though, so Phoebe gave up on that.

Monica looked around the apartment, smiling. "This is a really nice place you've got, Pheebs."

"Thank you."

"It must be nice living alone, you know?"

"Not always. It gets lonely sometimes."

Monica thought she'd made a gaffe. "Oh, I'm sorry. Because your grandmother used to live here, right?"

"No, Grandma still sort of lives with me." She pointed to the box on the mantelpiece that contained her grandmother's ashes. She shrugged. "No, um, I just meant that it'll be nice having one of my friends around here. Nobody comes over much, since we're always at your apartments or in Central Perk."

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Monica felt guilty. "It's just, you don't live as close. We don't mean to make you feel left out."

"Yeah, I know," she dismissed it. "It's my own choice that I never moved closer. I mean I do, I do like having my space."

"Good. But you really don't mind me being here for a while?"

"I really don't mind." She shrugged. "We'll, we'll be roommates again."

"Yeah," Monica smiled and hugged her. "Roomies! It was really fun when we lived together. I know I drove you crazy, but you were great. It was nice, too, when you moved back in for a while, while your apartment got fixed."

"Yeah it was great," Phoebe shrugged and tried to feign enthusiasm.

Monica and Chandler had been living together at the time, and Phoebe had remained in their guest room even after they got engaged. It was torture, especially when she had to help Chandler get a ring and propose to Monica. But if it made Monica happy, she'd always go along. If only she'd known about Vegas, and the night before Chandler moved in! If only she had stayed awake and caught Chandler sneaking over to Joey's place the same night that he proposed!

Suddenly Monica started crying again, thinking about Chandler.

"Oh honey!" Phoebe held her closer.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" she apologized, but couldn't help sobbing and saying something about Chandler deceiving for her so long.

Phoebe hushed her and did her best to comfort her without getting carried away. She stroked Monica's hair and kissed her head gently, always aware that she must stay like a friend, and only a friend.

Monica continued, "And--and the fact that it was Joey! I mean, we always joke about Chandler being gay, but I never thought--I never thought he'd really sleep with a guy, any guy, and that I wouldn't know about it, or sense it, or something. How could I not know?"

"Honey, it's just like Ross with Carol. They dated and were married for years before she came out as a lesbian. And then there were Chandler's parents, you know? People, people just surprise you, even if you think you know them."

Monica groaned miserably. "And this has to happen *now*, when we were trying to have a baby? I'm gonna be single again and almost 40, and still not have a baby!"

"Honey!" Phoebe winced and forced herself to say it, "Go, go back to Richard, then. Maybe he still loves you and wants to have kids. If not, I'll see if I still have Don's number. Remember Don, with the gourmet food, and the villa in France? I'll find you someone, I will!" God, this hurt!

Monica responded angrily, "No, I'm sick of men! Wh-why do I have to wait for them all the time?! All I want is the baby! I'll get a sperm donor. I-I should've done it before."

Phoebe gulped and said nothing. She was not gonna get her hopes up. Monica didn't mean any of this. She was just venting. Even if she meant it and did have a baby this way, it didn't change whether she was straight or not. Phoebe had learned to be realistic about how Monica felt about her.

"Oh Pheebs," Monica sobbed in despair. "Why did this have to happen to me? Why?"

Phoebe tried to find words, but could only come up with empty platitudes. Pulling Monica with her, she stood up and said, "Come, come with me."

"What?"

"I-I just want to show you something. It'll only take a minute." She took Monica into her bedroom and pointed up at the skylight. "See that?"

Monica looked up, but didn't understand. "You have a skylight."

"Yeah, but that's not all. Come here, sit for a second. You can see it from the bed." Monica sat down while Phoebe went over and turned out the light in the room.

Monica wasn't sure what was going on.

Phoebe pointed at the skylight. "Can you see the stars now? They're kind of faint, because we're in the city."

Monica looked up and saw the glowing skylight. "Oh yeah. I see now."

Phoebe sat gingerly on the very edge of the bed. "That's why I moved my bed to this spot, so I could see that every night and morning. I-I think about it as a window up to heaven, you know?"

Monica started to smile. "Yeah, yeah, it's beautiful. Thank you, Phoebe."

Phoebe nodded and continued, "And it's not just heaven, it's like the whole universe and destiny and everything. And, um, if you try, you can see the faces of people you love, who, who can't be with you."

"You mean like my Nana, who passed away?"

"Yeah, and um, I can even sense her spirit here right now."

"Really?" Monica knew that Phoebe might just be humoring her a little, but it was still nice.

Phoebe nodded. "And you know what she's saying to you now? She's saying that whatever crap happens to you on earth, you will always, always be loved."

Touched, Monica finally stopped staring at the skylight. She turned to her friend and hugged her tight. "Aw, Pheebs, thank you. I-I forgot what a good friend you are. Thank you so much. For letting me stay here, for the skylight, for--for everything."

"I'm always here for you," Phoebe answered quietly, then firmly bit her lip against saying anything else.

When Monica finally said goodnight and left the room, Phoebe just watched her go and stayed in the bed, with her hand caressing the spot on the mattress where Monica had sat.