[Includes an altered version of the hotel scene from episode 716, The Truth About London, and the plane scene from episode 501, The One After Ross says Rachel.]
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Joey returned to his and Chandler's hotel room to fetch Chandler for a threesome. Joey would have actually preferred to be alone with Chandler for all the nights of this London trip--in fact, he'd like to be alone with him forever. But Chandler had seen the bridesmaid Felicity obviously flirting with Joey at the rehearsal dinner, and Joey knew that Chandler would think Joey was acting strangely if he didn't get the girl. Until Chandler returned Joey's love, Joey had to keep going along with Chandler's expectations, and not reveal his deeper feelings too soon. He knew perfectly well that Chandler was liable to panic when faced with love or commitment from anybody, let alone Joey.

Anyway, Felicity had been turned on and intrigued by the idea of a threesome, so Joey had left her bathtub and dressed to go get Chandler. Joey hated having to share Chandler with anybody, but at least Joey could be with him tonight, and try his best to make Chandler moan more passionately with him, than with Felicity.

When Joey opened the door, he heard some kind of commotion inside the room and when he peered inside, he saw Chandler sitting up in bed, obviously naked under the covers. Was he waiting for Joey?

"Hey," Joey said softly. Had all his hopes come true? Was Chandler in love with him now? Was he inviting him to come in, forget about a threesome with the bridesmaid, and just be with him in a loving twosome?

Chandler seemed nervous when he spoke, trying to be casual. "Hey Joe! I was just watching a movie." The TV wasn't on, though.

Joey wanted to just crawl into bed with him and kiss him and make love to him all night.

But Chandler shook his head at Joey's approach and pointed urgently to something in the bed as he mouthed, "I'm not alone."

Joey stopped in his tracks and looked more carefully. There was an extra body in the bed beside Chandler, probably a girl, based on the scattered clothes on the floor. She was hiding under the covers, but it wasn't like she was invisible. Joey should have seen her right away, except that he had been caught up in Chandler.

The disappointment was crushing. God, was he so deep in love with Chandler now that he'd naively believe that Chandler would just suddenly love him back? Joey wanted to run and hide somewhere, lest Chandler read the emotions in his face.

Joey pulled back anxiously and turned away, as if he'd seen something inappropriate. "Oh, dude I'm so sorry!"

Chandler misunderstood and protested, "No-no-no!"

Still Joey tried to be casual and dismissive. "Hey no-no-no-no! It's cool! It's cool! I--I'll only be a second, I'm still with my bridesmaid. I just--Where are those condoms you brought?" Yeah, that was a good excuse so that he could leave here quickly.

Chandler pointed to his bag.

Joey retrieved the condoms from the bag, but then he got an idea. He was still jealous of Chandler being with anyone besides himself, especially alone, so Joey decided to take all the condoms away and prevent Chandler from having sex with that anonymous girl under the covers.

Chandler saw Joey take all the condoms, though, and called out, "Uh, could you leave me one?"

*Why, so you can do some girl and like her more than me?* But Joey bit his lip against saying that. It wouldn't help.

Joey finally looked at him, and saw that Chandler was making frantic gestures, still pointing out his hidden date under the covers, just in case Joey had not properly seen or understood before.

"For just you?" Joey asked, but he nodded to show that he understood Chandler. Joey spoke back to him with gestures and mouthed words. He held up three fingers to indicate a threesome, and then pointed toward the door, asking Chandler to come with him and have the threesome with the bridesmaid. If Chandler had to have any girl tonight, at least let Joey be with him too.

Chandler shook his head and indicated that he'd rather stay with his date right here.

So Joey held up four fingers and looked at Chandler questioningly.

Chandler shook his head again and pointed to his date, mouthing "She's not that kind of girl." Then Chandler cleared his throat and spoke out loud, for the benefit of his date, who must be puzzled by the weird silence, "Please, Joe, the condom."

Joey tried in desperation, "Why don't you come downstairs with me? There's some really nice girls down there--" What was so special about this damn girl under the covers?

"No, I'm fine," Chandler stubbornly refused.

Joey grudgingly tossed him a condom and left. He wasn't even in the mood for sex with the bridesmaid anymore, except to get back at Chandler somehow. Not that Chandler would care. Joey sometimes wished he didn't care either.

***

Two mornings later, during the flight from London to New York, Monica left for the bathroom at the back of the plane, so Joey took the seat next to Chandler and asked bitterly, "Did you have fun with your hot date?"

Chandler sighed and whispered back, "You know the rules, Joe. You're just screwing around with girls, but I'm looking for a girlfriend. That's not compatible with you joining us."

"A girlfriend?" Joey scoffed. "If you get a girlfriend in London, you'll be like Ross and Emily always complaining about being so far away all the time. What are you gonna do, go and marry her too?"

"Joe, why are you so upset?"

Why couldn't he tell? Joey shrugged and pouted, "I went through all that trouble to get the bridesmaid for you, and you didn't appreciate it."

Chandler kept looking toward the bathroom where Monica had gone. "Come on, Joe, it's not like you didn't have fun with the bridesmaid by yourself."

Damn him and his fun! What about love? Aching inside, Joey leaned close and whispered in Chandler's ear, "Kiss me."

Chandler turned to him and blinked in shock.

Joey sighed against his neck. "Make out with me until Monica comes back."

He looked embarrassed and apologetic. "N-no, Joe, I can't."

Joey looked hurt. "Why do you even care if anybody knows? Why are we still a secret?"

"Joe, please, let's not talk about this now." He kept looking toward the bathroom.

"Fine, don't talk. Just, just do me. When Monica comes back from the bathroom, meet me there..."

Clearing his throat, Chandler blushed and didn't know quite what to say. The people sitting in the row behind them must be wildly entertained by this little soap opera. Chandler stammered, "No, um, no, I'm tired."

"You can't be tired," Joey nuzzled him. "You weren't even with me last night."

Chandler swallowed. "I-I was with my date."

Joey frowned. "What, again?"

He shrugged. "You were with your bridesmaid again."

"Yeah, but you could have been with us. You could have been with me."

Chandler began to gently push Joey back into his seat. "Still, Joe, I can't--I can't meet you in the bathroom or make out with you here."

Joey frowned. "Why, are you ashamed of me?"

"No!" Chandler shook his head. "No, we're just fooling around, so why bother telling anybody, and--" He sighed and gave up, "I-I don't know how to tell you this, Joe. God, I thought this could wait until we were home in our apartment."

"What?"

"Joe, I-I, um, I don't want to be sex buddies anymore."

Joey stared at him in shock. "Wh-why?"

He kept looking toward the bathroom. "I just, I think it's time for me to stop depending on you for sex. I mean, these last three months have been great, but I've got to get serious about finding a girlfriend, you know, so I don't end up alone."

Joey looked away, hurt.

"I'm sorry, Joe, I know that you've been having fun with me, but you're my best friend, and we shouldn't mess with our friendship anymore. I mean I did, I really did enjoy our gay experiment, a lot more than I thought I would, but--" he shrugged, "but it had to end someday, you know?"

Joey was wounded and could find no words.

Chandler was alarmed by Joey's hurt expression, and touched his hand. "Are you okay?"

However, just then, Monica finally returned from the bathroom, looking irritated for some reason. Chandler tried to look appeasing, and Monica grudgingly took the seat on the other side of Joey. All three were in a bad mood for the rest of the flight.