She deserved so much more. All she'd gotten was a panicked proposal in the middle of a bar, after I'd broken up with her for another woman who wasn't even interested in me. She should have had a fancy dinner in an elegant restaurant, and moonlight and a beautiful diamond ring that sparkled on her finger. She deserved a man who wouldn't come so close to screwing up the best thing that ever happened to him.

But she still said yes. And for that, I'll always be thankful.

I hadn't wanted to get married again. I was thirty-two, a young man still, and already with one failed marriage under my belt. The whole affair with Nanette was a mistake made by a mere boy, but it had rattled me badly. I'd grown up believing that marriage was a lifetime committment, and at the time, I'd honestly thought I was ready to settle down. Foolish beliefs from a foolish boy, I now realize, but I'd believed that once you said "I do", then that was it, and the two of you would be together forever.

It hadn't taken longer than two months for me to suspect I'd made a horrible mistake. I genuinely liked Nanette. She was outgoing, full of life, and, to put it plainly, the sex was great. But I didn't love her. I couldn't see myself spending the rest of my life with her. If we lasted longer than a year, I thought I'd go insane.

I kept this to myself for another two months before Nanette began to suspect, and demanded to know what was going on. We divorced the week after.

For the rest of medical school, I dated casually, but never let myself become too attached to any girl. I was still so young, I reminded myself. I had plenty of time to get married. I graduated, and began my residency at Goldenbrook, where I met Diane.

That was a story in itself, and far too long to write here. Suffice to say, I emerged from the whole affair bitter and angry, swearing myself to never let a woman humiliate me like that again, and never to let one get close enough to me to try.

I was terrified when Lilith first brought up the prospect of marriage. I remember stammering some excuse about having plenty of time, trying to ignore the hurt look in her eyes. I remember being furious at myself for letting her get this close, and for letting things between us get this serious. I'd promised myself that it would be a cold day in hell before I let myself get trapped again.

And yet, now that we're engaged instead of merely cohabitating, committed to each other instead of simply having a good time, I'm not afraid at all. All I feel is irritated at myself for almost letting her get away, and an overwhelming sense of gratitude that I didn't. I love her. I've said it to her often, but this is the first time I've said it to myself. I love Lilith Sternin, and all I want is to marry her and spend the rest of my life with her.

Tomorrow I'm calling in sick at work, and taking her up to New York for three days. I've already reserved a room at the Plaza. I'm taking her out to dinner, and when that's over, I'm going to take her to Tiffany's and let her pick out any ring she wants.

"I love you," I whisper to her, curled up against me, fast asleep. Maybe it's my imagination, but I think I see her smile in her sleep. Right now, I am the happiest man alive.