Just Friends?
Disclaimer: I don't own HP or any of these characters. That belongs to JKR, Scholastic Books, Warner Brothers, etc.

Chapter Twelve

Harry paused in front of the stairs leading down from Gryffindor Tower to the rest of the school and shook his head. That conversation didn't go as he had imagined it. Harry started walking towards the library while replaying the events of the last hour in his mind.

This last year, Ron would at times get it into his head that he and Hermione had something going on between them and Harry would take it upon himself to deny everything. At first, it had been very easy to do so for there was nothing between them and Harry was fine with that. He couldn't quite pinpoint when he started to feel differently. Yet there came a time, not too long ago, when thinking that they were merely friends and would never be anything more was almost physically painful. He knew that the brave thing to do would just be to tell Hermione how he felt about her . . . but he just couldn't bring himself to do that.

For telling Hermione that he fancied her might hurt not one but both of his best friends. If Hermione didn't return his feelings – and Harry had no reason to believe that she did – then she would be upset at having to refuse him. At least he hoped that she would refuse him if she didn't think of him like that. Harry hoped that Hermione wouldn't go out with him just out of pity or some other reason like that. He didn't think that she would; it wouldn't be very much like Hermione to lead a person on like that, even in kindness. Yet he couldn't erase that possibility from his mind.

There was Ron to consider as well. It was blazingly obvious to anyone with eyes that Ron was more than fond of Hermione. They had the most outstanding rows at times and would bicker almost constantly. Ron, however, was never very good at concealing his feelings (outside of a game of chess) and it had been written all over his face just how much he thought of Hermione, especially during those quiet moments in the library when they weren't fighting for once. Additionally, Ron was ever so jealous whenever Hermione even looked at another wizard. Harry still remembered their fourth year and how enraged Ron had been during the Yule Ball when Hermione was dancing with Viktor. He remembered Ron's reaction last year to the news that Hermione was spending a Hogsmeade weekend with Terry Boot, who was by all accounts a very nice Ravenclaw. That didn't matter to Ron, however. He spent the entire week before warning Hermione of possible ulterior motives that Boot might have. If Harry ever confessed his feelings to Hermione . . . and if Ron should catch wind of it, Ron would be terribly hurt.

Or at least that was what Harry had thought would happen. He had thought that Ron would say something to him about Hermione because of the rumors that silly bint Trelawney had started again (and Harry had privately made a note to himself at the time to ask the Weasley twins for any . . . gifts they would recommend for a Divination professor with an overactive imagination). His skill in telling the future ran true to that extent; Ron did speak with him later in the day. On the other hand, he would have never expected what happened. Ron practically threw Harry out the door with the instructions to find Hermione and tell her everything. Anyone saying that Ron wasn't a true friend would have a very mad Harry Potter in their face. That took a lot – to give up your feelings about a girl just because you thought that your friend liked her and that she liked him in return. Harry wasn't sure if he would have been able to do that with the grace Ron had. He would say that he could only hope that if he was ever in that situation, he would do the same but that wouldn't be the truth. The truth was that he hoped that Hermione returned his feelings and that would be that.

Of course, now that he knew that telling Hermione wouldn't lose him both of his best friends, Harry was faced with the frightening task of actually telling Hermione that he fancied her. He had not a clue what he would say. He remembered how easy Fred had made it look, in their fourth year, just asking Angelina to the dance like that. Asking Cho . . . looking back, Harry supposed he was lucky that it hadn't gone too badly. Certainly Ron had a worse time than he. But it wasn't an easy thing to do, going up to a girl and telling her you thought she was pretty, smart, kind, and everything good you could think of, and that you'd be bouncing off the walls if she agreed to go on a date with you – even if that girl was Hermione. Especially if that girl was Hermione.

Hermione wasn't too good to be real; she was real. Harry had dated other girls before but they all seemed a bit lacking to him. They all seemed too concerned with his scar, and making sure they looked their best, and all sorts of other things that he didn't think was important. While he couldn't agree with Hermione's obsession with studying (and without a doubt, she didn't understand his obsession with Quidditch), he thought she was better than any other girl he had met. With Hermione, you knew where you stood. You knew how she looked and that she'd look more or less the same in the mornings (Harry had been traumatized at how Lavender and Parvati looked in the mornings, one day when had barged in the girls dormitory to speak with Hermione). You knew that her hair was bushy, but she looked charming whenever she put it up. You knew her teeth were straight but sometimes she hid them when she smiled out of habit. You knew she would be concerned with getting good marks – but always more concerned with keeping you safe and that if she made a promise, she'd do her very best and more to keep it. Harry knew she wasn't perfect but he thought she came very close.

Maybe the prospect of telling her wouldn't be so bad if Harry didn't know what she'd see in him. Yet he feared that she'd take one look at him – and only see her best friend, whom she had known since she was eleven. She'd see him as a scrawny, little boy and not as a young wizard who she might be interested in. She might not laugh at him – Harry couldn't see Hermione laughing at anyone who asked her out, not even Malfoy – but a no was still a no. If she refused him, Harry didn't know how he'd go about changing her mind about him or if he should even try.

Faced with the door of the library and knowing who would be in there made Harry paused again. He didn't want to go forward. Yes, he would love to know how Hermione felt but it was frightening to think of all the possible reactions she could have. It was only then when Harry realized just what Ron had done. Ron had made it impossible for Harry to go back. Harry couldn't return and tell Ron that he hadn't the courage to tell Hermione. Not when Ron had given her up like he had. Not when Ron had told Harry that he thought Hermione liked him like he did. He had no choice but to go forward and hope for the best.

Summoning all the courage he had in him, Harry opened the door and walked through to find Hermione.

Author's note: Bleh. It's been a long time between updates again. There were a few sentence fragments and the like in this one, used mainly to highlight how confused Harry's thoughts are. And with any luck, I ought to have the next chapter (chapter thirteen, now isn't that ominous?) up by next Friday. As always, I'd love to hear what you think so please leave a review.