Time For Presents
"All right everyone!" Jean said cheerfully. "It's time for Rogue's presents!"
"Yippee," Mindy growled. She had a black eye and she looked slightly disheveled.
"Oh goody," Rogue muttered to herself as she was escorted into the middle of the room. She felt like she was being led to the gallows.
"Okay how would you like to open up your presents?" Hank asked cheerfully.
"How about I go up to my room instead?" Rogue groaned.
"Come on Birthday Girl," Hank sat her down in a huge green chair in the middle of the room. "This will be fun!"
"Yeah a real blast," Rogue sighed as she picked up the first present. "So which one should I open up first?"
"Open this one!" Kurt said. "It's from me!"
"Okay," She opened up the package. "Wow! It's a silver bracelet! Hey this is pretty nice."
"Actually it's white gold," Kurt said. "Amanda helped pick it out."
"It's beautiful," Rogue put it on.
"Oooh!" All the females in the room looked at it wide eyed.
"What is it with women and jewelry?" Bobby asked Scott who simply shrugged.
"Hey maybe this birthday party won't be so bad after all," Rogue said. "Thanks Kurt."
"Open ours next!" Pietro handed her a box with silver wrapping. "Me and Wanda got you a separate gift since you are our sister and all."
"Well, that's really nice of you two. What the heck?" Rogue blinked as she opened the present. She lifted up a several pages of something. "These are all pictures of Lance, Scott and Remy!"
"What?" Lance snapped.
"Are you kidding?" Scott asked.
"It's a calendar," Pietro said. "I knew you wouldn't be interested in one of me so Wanda and I put one together of the other guys you liked and Lance."
"As much as I hate to admit it, Lance does have a hot body," Wanda shrugged.
"Hey!" Lance and Kitty snapped at the same time.
"Nothing says love like a homemade present," Pietro grinned.
"What in the world would make you lunatics think I would be interested in something like…HELLO!" Rogue's jaw dropped when she turned the page.
"Oh my god!" Kitty's eyes widened.
"HOW DID YOU GET THOSE PICTURES?" Remy shouted.
"That's what I want to know!" Lance snapped. "Okay I can see how you managed to get pictures of me in the shower but how did you guys get those two?"
"Yeah how could you get pictures without us seeing you?" Remy fumed.
"Trade secret," Wanda grinned.
"Hey uh…can I make a copy of that one?" Kitty asked Rogue.
"Oh my," Jean quickly took another drink of punch. "My this punch is good!"
"I will take this!" Ororo snapped as she grabbed the calendar.
"Hey that's her present!" Wanda protested.
"She'll get it back when she's 21!" Ororo snapped. "Next!"
"Shipwreck…" Logan growled.
"What makes you think I knew anything about it?" Shipwreck asked. "I don't even know anything about photography. If anyone does it's Cover Girl!"
"I should have known!" Ororo glared at her.
"Busted," Todd snickered.
"Wonderful," Ms. March said. "Distributing pornographic material to minors as a birthday present. Such wonderful family values."
"It's erotic not porn," Cover Girl snapped. "I mean, that was very, very bad of you two! We will have a serious talk when we get home!"
"Does that mean you don't want your share of the negatives?" Wanda quipped.
"Quiet!" Cover Girl hissed.
"Well it's the thought that counts," Althea said.
"Speaking of thoughts I think we should move along now shall we?" Hank said. "Oh here's one from Scott. Open that up." He quickly shoved the present into her hands.
It turned out to be a pair of expensive black leather gloves. "These are nice Scott," Rogue said as she traded the pair she had on for them. "Thank you."
"It's also practical considering your mutation," Ms. March sniffed.
"I wasn't thinking of that," Scott looked at her. He was trying hard not to be annoyed.
"It's a nice thought anyway," Rogue said, desperate to avoid as many arguments as possible. "Let's see the next present."
"She's a real Little Miss Sunshine isn't she?" Low Light whispered to Hank.
"I'd love to stick something up where the sun doesn't shine…" Hank growled.
"Okay who gave me gum?" Rogue looked around.
"Not just any gum!" Bobby piped up. "It's flavored gum from around the world!"
"You're a real Mr. Continental ain't ya?" Todd quipped.
"What's this here?" Rogue picked up another package and opened it. "Hey it's some mystery books!"
"I knew you like to read those," Hank said. "They're from Ororo and myself."
"Thanks Storm! Mr. McCoy," Rogue said.
"I'm glad you like them," Hank smiled. "Now you'll have something to write about when I assign the book reports next week!"
"Wonderful," Rogue rolled her eyes.
"How about you open my gift next Rogue?" Kitty asked as she sipped another drink of punch.
"Why not?" Rogue opened the box. "Hey, it's a nice sweater," She admired the green sweater. "This is nice. Thanks Kitty."
"Hey!" Jean said. "That's the sweater I wanted! You said they were out of them!"
"I lied," Kitty said. "Face it Jean it looks better on Rogue anyway."
"Well of course, if it's for Rogue, I understand," Jean said simply. "Where is that punch bowl?"
"Whose is this?" Rogue picked up a small box.
"Mine. I didn't know what to get you," Paul said. "I hope you like it."
"No I like Godiva chocolates," Rogue said. "Thank you Paul. That was real nice of you."
"Chocolates are great," Jean muttered underneath her breath. "Maybe she'll grow out of that sweater and then I can have it."
"Jean!" Scott hissed, overhearing her.
"Huh?" Jean looked confused. "Did I say that out loud? Sorry."
"Let's see, this one's from Amara," She unwrapped the box. "Holy…!"
"What is it the wrong color?" Amara asked.
"I don't know," She held up an actual stuffed rabbit. Stuffed as in taxidermy.
"I've heard of giving people stuffed animals but this is ridiculous!" Lance exclaimed.
"Amara is this some kind of Roma Novan custom we don't know about?" Xavier asked.
"Oh no!" Amara blinked. "That's supposed to be for my Uncle Kiearu! It's his birthday next week and he's a shaman of sorts. He collects…things."
"That's a good word for it," Rogue looked at it.
"I must have mixed up the boxes and mailed your gift to him!" She exclaimed. "Boy is he going to be surprised when he gets a couple of girl's shirts and a charm bracelet instead!"
"Well at least you didn't mail a bra," Pietro snickered.
"Oh god…" Rogue looked at it. "I thought my relatives had weird tastes."
"Well think of it as a good luck charm," Amara shrugged.
"Why? It wasn't lucky for the rabbit!" Todd exclaimed.
"Oh that is just plain disgusting," Ms. March
"Let's go to the next gift!" Rogue dropped it and picked up another package.
"It's from me," Tabitha said. "Hope you like it. I know you're a fan."
"It's a CD," Rogue said. "Thanks Tabitha."
"Yes," Ms. March looked at it over her shoulder. "An Ozzy Osborne CD. Wonderful. Just what I'd expect."
"Hey you can't say he doesn't have any family values!" Tabitha snapped.
"I don't like your tone young lady," Ms. March said evenly.
"And I don't like you acting like the Present Police judging every little thing!" Tabitha snapped. "Who do you think you are…?"
"Tabitha how about you help me get some more appetizers? Okay that's good," Hank started to steer her away.
"Yeah I'd figure you'd want to get that girl alone with no witnesses," Ms. March said.
"Hold on a minute!" Hank snapped as he whirled around. "Just are you implying you close minded…"
"You know I think I'll help both of you in the kitchen!" Ororo grabbed both their arms and escorted them to the back.
"I hate her!" Tabitha's voice carried over.
"I hate her too!" Hank snapped as well.
"Both of you pipe down and behave yourselves!" Ororo shouted.
"She started it!" Tabitha and Hank both whined before the voices disappeared in the back.
"Well this is going well," Scott sighed.
"Better do the Misfits' next," Jean said. "Knowing our luck it will probably be a bomb. Not that this party isn't already a bomb."
"Jean!" Scott hissed. "What's the matter with you? Keep it down! Rogue could hear you! We're trying to make this as nice a day as possible for Rogue."
"Yeah heaven forbid that Rogue's day get ruined," Jean muttered as she sipped more punch.
"Our present's next!" Todd said. "And it's the best one of all!"
"Well can't be weirder than the last one," Rogue sighed as she opened it up. "I was wrong." She held up an object in her hand.
"Nunchucks?" Logan blinked. "You gave her nunchucks?"
"And matching throwing stars," Xi added.
"You gave her weapons?" Ms. March gasped in shock.
"Actually this is the first practical gift I've gotten all evening," Rogue said menacingly.
"Just what kind of school are you running here Xavier?" Ms. March asked.
"Do you really wanna know lady?" Low Light asked.
"Uh Rogue how about another gift?" Xavier said quickly. "This one's from Amanda!"
It turned out to be another sweater top. "Oh great!" Jean muttered. "I wanted that one too!"
"My gift next," Xavier said. He handed her an envelope.
"What?" She looked at it and opened it.
"Bet it's cash," Duncan whispered to his buddies.
"A gift certificate to a furniture store?" Rogue blinked.
"Well, since you will be moving into your own room I thought you could decorate it however you wanted," Xavier smiled.
"I'm finally gonna have my own room?" Rogue asked.
"We've finally finished the repairs on the guest room in the girls' quarters," Xavier said. "I've decided it will be yours."
"Oh thank you Professor!" Rogue hugged him. "That's the best gift so far! Peace of mind at last! My own room!"
"Yeah and it's also the biggest room in the wing," Jean muttered to herself as she sipped her punch. "It figures."
"Okay I'll open Jean's gift next," Rogue picked up the package. It was a journal with a bookmark, a gold pen and a set of nice stationery. "Well this is nice."
"You gave her paper?" Todd asked. "The diary I can see but paper?"
"It's writing paper!" Jean snapped.
"Who's she gonna write to?" Pietro asked. "She lives with all the friends she has!"
"Well maybe it's not as flashy as getting your own room but it's the thought that counts," Jean said. "Hear that. The thought!"
"In your case it's the thought that stinks," Pietro quipped.
"Why you…" Jean growled.
"It's very nice Jean!" Rogue said quickly. "Next!"
"Good idea," Peter said. "This one's from me!" It was a crystal figurine of a horse. "I saw you looking at it. It is one of those fancy crystal figurines."
"It's beautiful," Rogue admired it. "I love it!"
"See?" Pietro remarked. "Even the Tin Man got her a better present than paper! What were you thinking?"
"Are you kidding?" Todd remarked. "The dead rabbit was a better present than that."
"Do any of you Misfits even know how to act like a person?" Jean snapped. "I'm just curious!"
"Jean just drop it and ignore them," Rogue sighed.
"I will not just drop it! They're getting on my nerves! They've been doing it all night!" Jean snapped.
"Jean they've been doing it since the first day we ever met any of them! Just let it go!" Rogue groaned.
"Will you please talk to them?" Xavier asked Shipwreck.
"I dunno Charley I gotta agree with them on the paper thing," Shipwreck said.
"What is wrong with writing paper? It's a nice gift! And it wasn't the only thing I got her ya know?" Jean snapped.
"Will everybody just shut up about the stupid writing paper and forget it?" Rogue shouted. "Let's just keep going huh?"
"See Jean even Rogue thinks your paper is stupid," Pietro remarked.
"Pietro if you don't keep your big trap shut I'm gonna stuff that paper right up your…" Rogue growled.
"Oh look here's some more presents!" Kitty quickly shoved another gift into her hands. "Hey this is from Linda and the others."
"You got me a present?" Rogue was surprised.
"It would be gauche if we didn't bring a gift," Tiffany sniffed. "We're not uncivilized."
"You got me a gift certificate to Girly Girlz?" Rogue blinked. "That boutique with all the pink clothes and the feathers and the glitter?"
"And you thought the stuffed rabbit was disgusting?" Wanda asked Ms. March. "What the bozos from the Jock brigade get?"
"Dude nobody told us we were supposed to bring a gift," Ralph said.
"It figures," Kitty rolled her eyes.
"I think now would be a good time for my present," Irene said. She handed her a very ornately carved wooden box. "This jewelry box has been in my family for generations. Handed down from mother to daughter. It is yours now."
"Wow," Rogue looked inside and felt the lining. "This is…amazing. Thank you Irene!"
"That is pretty cool," Althea looked at it.
"Oh yeah she gets an old box and nobody complains," Jean muttered to herself as she sipped another drink.
"Is that everything?" Rogue asked.
"Not quite," Sam said as he handed her something.
"This is something Roberto, Sam and I made," Jamie said. "It's a tape!"
"Oh well let's watch it," Kitty said cheerfully. She went to a television on the other side of the room and put it in the VCR. "Get the lights Bobby!"
It got dark in the room. "SHIPWRECK GET YOUR HAND OFF MY BUTT!" Cover Girl snapped.
"Oh sorry," Jinx apologized. "That was me. I thought you were Logan."
"Oh god…" Rogue rolled her eyes.
A shot of the three boys were on TV. "Hey this is Sam," Sam spoke.
"Jamie," Jamie said.
"And Roberto!" Roberto grinned. "And this video is specially made for our good buddy Rogue. The hottest girl in Bayville!"
"I think I need another drink of punch," Jean muttered.
"Okay this is sort of a parody of a song here," Jamie said. "It's a parody of a song we don't own called 'I Love Rock and Roll'. We don't own the original song so don't sue us or anything. We made up the words to this stuff though. We call it 'I Love My Girl Rogue' and we even have a guest singer and everything!"
"Guest singer?" Rogue blinked. "Does anybody know anything about this?"
"Unfortunately yes," Remy groaned.
"So take it away!" Jamie on the screen shouted. Then it faded out to a stage with some pyrotechnic explosions. Then the music played with Sam, Roberto and Jamie (with several clones of himself) playing music. Then there was a shot of Remy all in black leather. He started to sing.
"I've seen a lot of girl's around at school, but they ain't worth my time I'm no fool. You make a man feel bold, even when you act cold. There's just one girl that's good enough for me,"
"Yeah me!" The other boys sang.
"Don't need to look no more cause I like what I see!" Remy sang.
"Baby, I love my girl Rogue. So why don't you give me half a chance baby! I love my girl Rogue! So why not go on a date with me?" All the boys sang on the video.
"Let me guess," Logan asked. "Jamie wrote the lyrics?"
Remy kept singing on screen. "My heart skips a beat when I hear her name. She's got the looks that put other girls to shame! Any girl that disses her is a snot! They're just jealous cause she's so hot! And if people call me a fool that's fine with me! Don't need no one else cause there's only one girl for me! Only me! Sing it!"
"Baby I love my girl Rogue, So why don't you give me half a chance baby! I love my girl Rogue! So why not go on a date with me!" They all sang. There were more explosions and shots of them all playing instruments like rock stars.
"Make it talk!" Jamie shouted on the screen as Sam played a guitar solo.
"Make it stop…"Rogue sank lower into her seat.
Remy kept singing on screen. "Nothin' beats my Southern belle! She's the one girl that I fell…And if I gotta wait until I'm old and gray that's fine with me! She's worth every moment you see! Baby! I love my girl Rogue, so why don't you give me half a chance baby! I love my girl Rogue! So why not go on a date with me?"
As they kept singing on screen, Rogue glared at Remy. Remy glared at Jamie, Sam and Roberto. "Gambit was told that Rogue would see this in private!" He said.
"You should have read the fine print in your contract," Jamie said. "Oh watch! Here comes the best part!"
"So that's where all those burn marks on the lawn came from," Xavier said.
"Gambit was broke!" Remy pleaded.
"Gambit will be broken when I get a hold of him," Rogue growled. "Please tell me that was the last gift!"
"Not quite," Forge smiled as he handed her a strange box. "My gift next. All you have to do is push that button to open it and stand back!"
"Are you sure?" Rogue looked at the strange contraption.
"Trust me," Forge smiled. "I made it myself."
"Uh oh…" Todd said. "Stand back everybody!"
Hesitantly Rogue pushed the button. Music came out of the box and suddenly several sparklers and miniature fireworks began to spark. "You gave her explosives?" Ms. March shouted.
"Actually it's a light show," Forge said. "Umm…maybe I should have done this outside." That was when the box started to explode. The room started to shake. And projectiles flew out.
"Jean!" Scott shouted. Jean managed to use her telekinesis to contain the blast but it still rocked the room.
"What's going on?" Hank shouted as he and the others ran in. They saw several people knocked down onto the floor and several things broken or fallen off shelves. "Oh dear…"
"Wow and you guys complain about my explosives!" Tabitha looked around.
"Is everybody else okay?" Scott asked.
"By okay if you mean scared out of our wits yes!" Linda snapped. "But I think Mr. Xavier might need some medical attention!" Xavier was flat on his back with the wheels of his wheelchair sticking up.
"Chuck? Chuck wake up!" Logan tried to wake him up. "Chuck can you hear me?"
"Hi Nanny," Xavier said in a funny voice. "I wanna go to the park today. But first I'm gonna go have a nap, nap now." He passed out.
"Chuck!" Logan snapped. "Forge you are so dead!" At this Forge ran for his life.
"Run Forge, Run!" Pietro shouted. "Run like the wind!"
"I'll take him to the infirmary," Roadblock picked Xavier up. "Do we have any other casualties?"
"Owie…" Ms. March moaned. "My head hurts…"
"Looks like she got bonked in the head too," Low Light remarked.
"Oh well then it wasn't a total loss," Tabitha quipped.
"I think that concludes the gift giving portion of the evening," Ororo sighed.
"Well actually no," Rogue looked at Logan. "I might be getting another gift any day now. Right Logan?"
"Me and my big mouth," Logan sighed.
