Got Cake?
"Well I knew this party would be a blast but…" Pietro quipped. It was about ten minutes later and still some of the guests were shaken up.
"Are your parties always like this?" Paul asked.
"Pretty much," Althea said.
"Oh thanks a lot!" Scott snapped at her.
"I should have known this was a mistake to come here," Mindy sniffed. "The last time we were around mutants they wrecked the school!"
"Actually it was Lance who wrecked the school," Bobby said.
"How many times do I have to say that was an accident?" Lance shouted.
"Lots!" Peter snapped.
"You wanna make something out of this?" Lance snapped.
"Lance shut up and come with me," Kitty grabbed his arm and dragged him away from Peter. "Before another fight breaks out!"
"What's going on here?" Ralph asked.
"Oh it's the same old love triangle," Pietro zipped over to him. "Both Lance and Peter have the hots for Kitty and have been fighting over her. She can't make up her mind who she likes because they're both idiots."
"Pietro," Rogue growled.
"Well it's true!" Pietro snapped.
"Well I'll agree Lance is an idiot but…" Remy started to defend his teammate.
Ms. March stormed out into the room with a bandage on her head. "I'm fine!" She snapped. "I certainly do not need to be looked over by anyone! Much less a mutant with big clumsy hands!"
"Oh look people the life of the party is back," Pietro quipped.
Ms. March glared at him as she overheard his comment. "I knew this was a mistake having mutants and humans socialize together! You are nothing but trouble! I should cancel this party right now!"
"Okay lady," Logan growled. "In the first place, this isn't your party. You are guests at our party. And you haven't exactly been acting like the perfect guests if you get my drift!"
"Oh really?" Ms. March growled.
"Yeah really!" Logan snapped.
"Here we go again," Althea said.
"Okay who wants to bet on who's gonna win this fight?" Todd asked looking around.
"There will not be another fight!" Ororo said.
"Wanna bet?" Todd snickered.
"This is not good," Scott moaned.
"Actually this is pretty typical of us," Kurt told him. "People fighting, a destroyed room. That's us all right."
"Well at least the punch was saved!" Jean said a little too brightly.
"You're just lucky none of my students were hurt!" Ms. March snapped.
"Hey some of our kids could have been hurt as well!" Logan snapped.
"Who cares about them?" Ms. March snapped.
"Why you…" Logan growled.
"Okay Logan why don't you go check on Charles' condition?" Ororo steered him away from her. "And Kurt, Kitty why don't you get some more refreshments for our guests?"
Ororo's efforts still did not diffuse the atmosphere of mistrust. "Guys maybe we should get out of here," Nancy said. "I mean next time one of us might get killed!"
"No way!" Linda said. "I'm not running from them!"
"Oh what a brilliant idea this was," Pietro said. "Throwing a party and inviting the Bayville Boobs!"
"Listen Pietro that kind of talk is not helping!" Scott snapped.
"Oh and nearly setting the mansion on fire was?" Pietro looked at him.
"Pietro's right," Lance said. "For once Summers you can't blame this disaster on us!"
"WILL SOMEBODY GET THIS SAILOR AWAY FROM ME BEFORE I KILL HIM!" Ms. March screamed as Shipwreck tried to move in on her again.
"Okay maybe just a little bit of it is Shipwreck's fault," Lance said.
"I hate parties!" Rogue groaned. "Fred stop eating all the food!"
"I'm bored and hungry!" Fred snapped between mouthfuls. "Deal with it!"
Logan and Hank walked back in. "Well the good news is there isn't any damage," Hank said. "The bad news is he'll be unconscious all night."
"That's bad news?" Pietro quipped. "Sounds like a plus to me!"
"Do you have to make a comment about everything?" Scott snapped at him.
"Of course I do. What kind of stupid question is that?" Pietro asked. "Oh wait, this is you we're talking about."
"Listen you…" Scott snapped.
"Here's some more drinks!" Kitty wheeled out a tray. "We got some nice tropical fruit juice!"
"That's a great idea!" Hank said. "Since for some reason Jean's drinking all the punch over there."
"I like it! You got a problem with that?" Jean snapped.
"Kurt, Kitty pass the rest of the food out," Ororo said.
"Good idea," Cover Girl said. "Maybe we should bring out the cake as well."
"What we should bring out is the undertaker," Pietro said. "This party needs it!"
"You people are driving us crazy!" Scott snapped.
"Sounds like a short ride to me," Pietro quipped.
"Hey anybody want some punch?" Jean waved. Everyone ignored her. She shrugged and poured herself another glass. "Oh well, more for me!"
"This was a mistake," Ms. March growled. "Nothing good ever comes from mixing with mutants!"
"Please Ms. March give this a chance. Here have a drink," Hank handed her some juice. Then the glass slipped from his hand and spilled all over her.
"You spilled juice all over my dress!" Ms. March shouted.
"Oops," Hank said. "My mistake. You know how clumsy these big mutant hands are."
"You did that on purpose you big ape! I'm gonna…" Ms. March snapped.
"Hey I got an idea," Tabitha said. "Look why don't you come in the back with me and we can get that stain out with no problems!"
"You're not gonna blow it up are you?" She looked at Tabitha.
"No way," Tabitha put on an innocent smile. "Come with me!"
"Do you that's a good idea?" Roadblock asked Ororo.
"Well no but…" Ororo stopped when she heard a commotion. Scott and Pietro were arguing again. "Come on we'd better put a stop to this!"
"And that," Roadblock pointed at another argument that was starting between Lance and Peter. "Cover Girl and I will take care of those two. Storm, you and Shipwreck work on breaking up Scott and Pietro."
"While you're doing that I'll stop those jocks from breaking even more of the Professor's stuff," Low Light pointed to some of the football players playing keep away with an antique vase.
"I'll help Tabitha and make sure she doesn't blow up Ms. March," Hank said. Then he muttered underneath his breath. "Although I wouldn't mind it so much if she did."
"Logan maybe you and Jinx could…?" Ororo looked around. They were nowhere to be found. "Great! Where did they go?"
"It's just you and me honeybunch," Shipwreck snickered.
"Roadblock I want to change partners!" Ororo shouted.
The kids were milling around the entire downstairs now. Some had been drawn into arguments. Others were fooling around or exploring the mansion. Duncan had decided that this would be a perfect time to make his move while everyone else was distracted. He had followed Xi into another room. Xi was alone and was looking at the decorations. "So do you come here often?" Duncan asked Xi.
Xi looked at him. "Whenever our group comes here so I suppose the answer is yes."
"So…" Duncan leered. "What's your power?"
"I can turn invisible and I can tell what kinds of abilities others mutants have by touching them," Xi told him. "Do you have a headache? You have a strange look in your eyes?"
"I'd be the last one talking about looks in your case sweets," Duncan grinned.
"Sweets?" Xi asked.
"Though I bet you're wild in bed," Duncan grinned.
"I have no idea what you're talking about," Xi said deciding he had enough of Duncan's company.
"Oh I bet you do," Duncan barred his way.
"No I do not," Xi said emphatically. "If you are referring to sexual activity I have not done such a thing. I know very little about such things."
"Oh then maybe you'd like me to teach you," Duncan smiled.
"I don't think so. I do not like your attitude," Xi hissed.
"We're not that crazy about it either," Todd remarked. He and Althea were now behind Duncan.
"What the hell are you trying on Xi?" Althea asked as she came between him and Xi.
"Out of my way skank," Duncan hissed. "This is between me and her!"
The next thing he knew he was shoved into a wall. Before he could say anything he was looking at Todd's eyes. Todd had him pinned to the wall using his legs to cling to it. "First mistake Dumbass," Todd hissed. "Xi ain't a her! Second mistake is calling my girl a skank! Third mistake…is you showing up in the first place! You see I got issues. And you are part of 'em!" Todd punched the wall next to Duncan's head, leaving a huge hole.
"Let's work on those issues now shall we?" Xi showed off his claws.
"Let's," Althea punched her hand into her open fist. "Let's drag him out back where they can't hear him scream!"
"I'll take care of that!" Todd spat out some goo onto his face so he couldn't see or speak. He just left enough for his nose to stick out so he could breathe. The three of them dragged him to the back. The sounds of the party muffled the noise of punches and things breaking.
Meanwhile the potential fights had been broken up. Several small groups started roaming around the mansion's downstairs. Ororo was trying to herd them all into the main living room with very little success. Especially with Shipwreck bothering her.
"Come on Storm," Shipwreck followed her around. "Why don't you and me go out back and look at the stars for a while?"
"You'll be seeing stars if you don't quit it!" Ororo snapped.
"Shipwreck this isn't the time for that," Irene walked over to them.
"You're right! How about the three of us all go get some air?" Shipwreck grinned.
"You'll hit on any reasonably attractive woman won't you?" Irene asked.
"That's right!" Shipwreck said proudly.
"Where is Logan and his claws when you need them?" Ororo muttered.
Scott was looking around for Jean and found her by the punch bowl. They had gotten separated during his argument with Pietro. He was going to talk to her when he bumped into someone. "Oops sorry, Paul."
"No problem," Paul said. "Did I miss anything?"
"Just another stupid fight with the Misfits," Scott grumbled. "Where were you?"
"I kind of got lost looking for the bathroom," Paul looked around. "Did you know you had a hole in the kitchen wall?"
"Yeah we kind of had a few incidents making the food," Scott sighed. "Here's a tip, stay away from all the food at that table over there. Kitty made that."
"Gotcha," Paul nodded. "Not that I care or anything but have you seen Duncan?"
"No I haven't," Scott frowned. "Why?"
"I dunno," Paul looked around. "But I overheard one of those football players saying something about scoring with a mutant chick in green. Part of a bet or something. You might want to keep an eye on him."
"Thanks for the heads up," Scott sighed. "Green huh? Well none of the girls are wearing any green dresses. The only one that has any green on at this party actually is…Xi…" Scott's mouth fell open.
"Oh god…" Paul's jaw dropped as well. "You don't think…?"
"Come on," Scott sighed. "We'd better find him and help him out!"
"Who?" Paul quipped. "Duncan or Xi?"
"Paul, Xi's a trained assassin who has serious problems socializing!" Scott said.
"Oh in that case everything's fine," Paul quipped. "I'm joking. As much as Duncan deserves it, he shouldn't…."
"Yeah well, I'd better take a look around. Could you do me a favor and look after Jean?" He pointed to her. "Ask her to use her telepathy to make sure there isn't any trouble."
"Good idea," Paul nodded. "We should spilt up. That way we can cover more ground. But maybe we should tell the adults or something?"
"SHIPWRECK WILL YOU QUIT MAKING ADVANCEMENTS TOWARD ME!" Ororo shouted.
"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT GOING OUT WITH ME!" Irene could be heard.
"No Lance you will not settle anything!" Roadblock's voice could be heard. "Save any fighting for a boxing ring!"
"Hey I'm open!" Ralph shouted. Then the sound of a vase breaking was heard. "Oops."
"JAMIE STOP EATING ALL THE CHIPS!" Amara shouted. "YOU'RE AS BAD AS THE BLOB!"
"HE IS NOT!" Fred shouted.
"I think they have enough on their minds right now," Scott sighed. Quickly Scott moved away to find Duncan. He saw Rogue who had managed to move away into a corner by herself.
"Rogue I need your help," Scott whispered. "I think there's gonna be trouble!"
"Oh really?" Rogue said sarcastically. "Gee I never would have guessed."
"I'm serious Rogue," Scott said. "Duncan's been bragging to his buddies on how he's gonna score with a mutant girl tonight."
"Poor Duncan," Rogue snickered. "It's not Jean is it?"
"No it's Xi."
"Oh man!" Rogue rolled her eyes. "What made him think Xi's a girl?"
"I dunno but boy is he gonna be in for a shock," Scott sighed. "We gotta get to him before Xi does."
"Not to mention Toad and Wavedancer," Rogue said.
"Yeah they've been looking like they want to kill him all evening," Scott said. "And I can't say I blame them. Hey where are they anyway. I don't see those two anywhere!"
"Let's go find them! If they find out I don't think we can keep them from killing Duncan!" They went back into the kitchen. "Great just great! How could Duncan be so stupid? Wait a minute I think I just answered my own question!"
"Why what's Duncan done now?" Kitty was in the kitchen with Kurt getting more food.
"Well…" Scott began when all of the sudden there was a commotion outside.
"I think they already found out," Rogue sighed.
Althea, Xi and Todd barged in, carrying a battered Duncan headfirst. "Have some cake!" Althea shouted as they threw him face first into one of the cakes on the table.
"My Birthday Cake!" Rogue wailed. "You ruined one of my birthday cakes!"
"Don't worry," Kurt waved. "Kitty made that one."
"Oh well in that case thanks you three," Rogue said. "You just saved us all from indigestion."
"Hey!" Kitty fumed.
"Is he dead?" Kurt asked.
"Nah just out cold," Todd grinned.
"Way to go you guys!" Kitty snapped. "Now we're really gonna get in trouble!"
"Not if we hide him," Althea said. "We can always say he got drunk on his own or something later."
"That is a dumb idea!" Rogue said.
"Yeah but considering our circumstances it's worth a try," Scott sighed.
"But how do we hide this from Ms. March?" Kurt asked.
"Don't worry," Althea waved. "We'll stash 'em in a closet someplace!"
"How about we stash him in the pool with an anchor tied around his legs?" Todd remarked.
"Works for me," Althea said.
"I'll take care of it," Scott picked him up.
"Take him around the back," Kitty instructed as Scott left with Duncan. "What did he do besides being his charming self anyway?"
"He hit on Xi and called Althea a bad name," Todd said. "Apparently he thought Xi was a girl for some reason."
"Well Xi does give off a feminine vibe," Kurt scratched his head.
"Oh no way Kurt!" Kitty fumed. "Xi is like totally male. Well I know he's not really male but still…"
"Wait a minute," Xi looked around. "You think I can pass as a male while the others believe I can pass as a female?"
"Well actually Xi," Rogue scratched her head. "You do kind of look like both a guy and a girl in a certain light."
"Both?" Todd blinked.
"You know those pictures where you look at it one way and you see a rabbit and if you look at it another you see a duck?" Rogue said. "It's kind of like that. I guess it's based on your point of view."
"You know I never noticed that," Todd looked Xi over. "I can see what you're saying here."
"Why does this suddenly make me feel uncomfortable?" Xi blinked. "I mean I can't help the way I look! Do you really think I have feminine features?"
"Oh this party's getting better by the minute," Althea shook her head.
"Look you guys get out of here and we'll bring out one of the cakes okay," Kitty shoved them towards the door. Kurt grabbed the last tray of sandwiches and went out with them. None of them noticed Pietro zipping in behind and sticking some candles on one of the cakes. He grinned and took off.
Kitty looked back. "Oh we must have put candles on one of the cakes already. That's good. I'll put it on the tray and light the candles."
Rogue sighed. "I hate parties."
"I love 'em," Todd smiled.
"You would," Rogue said.
"Hey what's going on down the hall there?" Althea asked. A large group of people was surrounding one of the smaller rooms.
"What's going on?" Scott asked as they went up to them.
"Ms. March got stuck in something!" Paul said.
Sure enough there she was, her bottom sticking out of a laundry chute, her legs were kicking furiously. "GET ME OUT OF THIS THING!"
"How did she get stuck in the laundry chute?" Ororo shouted.
"It was an accident," Tabitha smiled. "Really. Ask Mr. McCoy."
"Oh yes," Hank smiled an equally broad smile. "I can vouch for that."
"GET ME OUT OF HERE!" Ms. March screamed.
"I'll get her out," Roadblock said. "But it will be a while. Anybody got a file?"
"Okay how about everyone go back into the main living room and we'll have some birthday cake?" Ororo herded them out of the room and into the next one.
Kitty wheeled out the cake on a tray as they walked in. She lit the candles with a match. "Happy Birthday to you…"She started singing.
"Happy Birthday to you," Everyone started singing. "Happy Birthday to you… Happy Birthday dear Rogue, Happy Birthday…"
That was when the cake exploded all over the room. It totally covered Rogue and several X-Men. "What's the matter Pryde?" Pietro laughed. "Can't even light a couple of candles right?"
"Mmmmmm," Fred took his finger and licked some icing off the wall. "Vanilla."
"Ewww…" Tiffany whined. "My dress…"
"I hate birthday parties," Rogue grumbled as she pushed some icing off her face. "I really hate birthday parties!"
